Why Do My Relationships Always Fail? (The Most Common Problem Presented To This Astrologer)

The most common problem that I see in practice is is not, “Am I going to win the lottery”?  People contact me because their relationships are failing and they want to know why.

Astrology is incredibly effective in identifying a person’s patterns in relationships. The chart doesn’t whisper hints on this front. Invariably, it spells them out in BOLD letters.

I wind up outlining the situation in a extremely concise way, because astrology allows this. I’m aware in the moment, the person on the other end is going to have all the lights come on, quite suddenly.

This is one of the major differences between astrology and therapy. In therapy a person has things come to their consciousness slowly.  Astrology rips the bandage off, quickly and cleanly.  So I lay it out and then write something like this…

“My point is to give you some things to think about. If you want to continue to move through relationships, you are on track and should have no problems doing so. If you want something else, you’re going to have to think about this, hard. And try to figure out just exactly what you do want so you can alter your approach and get it…”

The way things are going, people are going to have less time to hold on to their problems. They’re going to want to cut to the chase. I have always loved the efficiency of astrology. I like to save people time…years in many cases.

I’m writing this for people who might read it and want to truly jump the track they live in, going ’round and ’round for decades, but also for young men and women who want to come to understand themselves, early on.

10 thoughts on “Why Do My Relationships Always Fail? (The Most Common Problem Presented To This Astrologer)”

  1. This is true…. I must say. My reading was like this. Elsa does not hold back (oouch) But seriously it made me rationalize my situation. She was 100 percent right. I felt though it had more to do with being awakened than Astrology aspects.
    Some of it common sense and stuff we know we do, however, we do not realize how it’s projected on our partners. This information brings it to a new level of awareness. That is what I felt immediately. The Light Bulb… the big FAT Light Bulb lit up!

    1. I never mean to hurt anyone. But the fact is, a person’s friends invariably tell them that they are right – they are the injured party in whatever conflict they have. To never take a critical look at your own actions, pretty much dooms you.

      By the way, I don’t know who you are “wildstarz”. I don’t match clients with screen names, unless they point it out to me. 🙂

  2. That makes a lot of sense. Visualize your ideal. How would you like your life to be. I knew I wanted a life partner at age 35 (yikes-middle age hitting me in the face) Plus, I was tired of living by myself – it was getting boring. Finding that someone included a sachet under my pillow every night, plus visualization. He would have brown hair and brown eyes. He was currently living to the southwest of my location – about two hours away. My visualizations depicted that area, but I didn’t know anything about it.

    I knew was that mostly what I wanted was to have someone around. Hopefully, we’d share common likes, but that part didn’t come to pass, so far. Looking back, I wonder if I’d have been more detailed, what would things be like now.

    Just had our 30th anniversary, and quite happy about enjoying life together so far.

  3. Ironically, I just took on a therapist because I realized that I cannot tackle my current transits alone. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE astrology. I’ve been reading charts since I was 12. That’s 40 years. And I’ve met some amazing astrologer’s in my day. And, yes, they cut to the chase. But it’s not that simple. Let me use a real example that happened to me. I was in an abusive relationship for many years. My chart leans towards that b/c of some natal aspects that invite people who are dominant into my life. I would see a New York astrologer and he would tell me the same thing. “Get out of this relationship before it’s too late.” He was much more forceful. But it wasn’t until I had the support from a therapist I hired that I was able to actually get a restraining order against my other half and walk away with a shred of dignity. I’m a Cancer, so I’m slow at making things move. A Moon in Pisces doesn’t help this at all. So, if an astrologer says “JUMP!” to me, am going to think about it. That’s also due to my Mercury in the 1st House conjunct the Ascendant and the Sun. I will analyze and analyze til the Sun goes down over and over again. There weren’t blogs like this nor computers for that matter when I was seeing this astrologer once a year. But am more aware of my resistance way back then to “cut to the chase” remarks. I still have it to this day. And that was something the astrologer didn’t take into effect. Was he right? DEFINITELY. Should I have listened? ABSOLUTELY. Would it have saved me money? FO’ SURE. But did that cut to the chase quality work with my emotional make-up? UNFORTUNATELY NO. A lot of what we’re born with is unconsciously rooted in our inner sanctum. And to pull that out with one session is not really possible. Again, I love astrology. Am an avid fan of Elsa. She is amazing. But I have to live my life everyday. And, now, I need to see someone once a week again b/c I’m hitting another wall. I don’t think a reading alone is strong enough to work it’s way through the maze of emotions I have to deal with 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Is the therapist expensive? YES. Can I afford it? Financially, no – this is difficult. I’ve had to borrow money from my family to see this therapist. But, emotionally, I can’t not afford it. I have patterns that need to be broken. And that will take time. And, know this is just me. One reading is not enough. I would need several readings to move through my shit. Like once a week readings. I am that complicated. And I know I am not the only one who is.

    1. I am also a Cancer Glo and I am the same. I need a sensitive approach and change takes time. I do appreciate your directness and honesty Elsa. And insight. I also do aastrology and hand readings and I am so empithetic… sometimes I should probably be more like you Elsa and cut to the chase. I do find many people need a chance to talk and to explore deeper motivations… so I am more of an astrogical counsellor. Different strokes for different folks.

    2. Well summarised Gio, and I agree. Awareness is one thing, but deep seated patterns that repeat and repeat, can often need more assistance. These difficulties are formed very early in life. They are not only intellectual/knowledge based issues, they are emotion based. And those two parts of the brain just don’t have a straightforward route to dialogue, if it even exists at all. So people can say, ‘yes I know, exactly, I can see what I’m doing that’s not helping my situation etc etc, but still continue to do it!
      Everyone is different, and the problems. For some a nudge in the right direction is enough, for others deeper work, longer time.
      I am also a huge fan of Elsa, and I think her direct approach combined with compassion/lack of judgement is what wins out, not just the astrology. When I read the brilliant, sensitive ways these client letters are handled, it is truly an education on how to be a skilled helper.

  4. This past year or so I’ve been compulsively studying astrology. I can’t get enough of it. It’s fascinating and I have a long way to go but… another driving force is my friends. Recently, I’ve been at a loss as how to help my friends (other than listen) when they come to my with “problems”, especially relationship ones. I know how I’ve done things, but I don’t necessarily think that’s how they should do things. I really never know how to help (other than listen) especially seeing as all of us are scattered through out the world and I have never met some of the significant others. I am often at a loss as for what advice to give… I think understanding astrology could really help me help my friends. At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself while following Elsa’s blog posts. Oh, the clarity that you have!! It’s very inspiring.

  5. “This is one of the major differences between astrology and therapy. In therapy a person has things come to their consciousness slowly. Astrology rips the bandage off, quickly and cleanly.”

    This has been my experience; I went through about 2 years therapy before I had my first consult. Both are important I think but there is a difference. I did appreciate the therapy first; to start off introspection slowly!

  6. I want to kno if you can help me…my birthdate is 2/11/1987 and time is 01:36 pm….I have never bn happy in terms of men and relationships with them..den b it my brother or father ir boyfriend. ..nm longing for somine to hold on to now. .what should I do for that

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