Elsa,
Is it possible to be too different to ever have friends? Even though I always think ‘I love my friends’ they don’t seem to feel the same way. Is it just possible that Scorpios will never have true friends or successful love relationships?
Scorpio
Australia
Scorpio, anything is possible but in general I don’t think this is the case. You have to take the entire chart into consideration but typically Scorpio does not have a lot of friends, nor do they want them. They generally keep maintain a very small circle of friends… perhaps just one who they trust with their lives and the other friends fall further outside but still “in” if you know what I mean and I am sure you do.
As for love, the situation is similar. Though there may (or may not be) plenty of sex, there will be a very small number of people (perhaps just one) who the Scorpio gives their heart to.
Specific to you… well you are odd. With Pluto conjunct your Sun in Scorpio to the exact degree on the midheaven no less you are incredibly potent. Everything that is “Scorpio” you have in spades yet yours is a very social chart.
Specifically I am referencing your Aquarius rising, planets in the 11th (friends) and Venus and Mars in their own signs… basically you want to relate to people.
You are 20 years old and it is not uncommon to have not met a real love at your age so I would not give up on that at all. However I would give up on the idea you are cut out for the social whirl.
People at your age tend to gather in large groups but as they get older they become more who they are. I have a life long friend (Ben) who has a chart similar to yours. He is also an Aquarius rising with a Scorpio Sun.
When I met him he was about twenty-five years old and he always had a house full of people. You had to step over people in that house to move about which is exactly what I would do as I was his inner circle and we would have to go into his bedroom to talk.
Ten years later, people still wanted to hang out as his house all the time but he no longer allowed it because he found it sucked his energy. “Those people don’t care about me,” he said. “They just want to cover over and take my energy. They eat my food, they blah, blah…” I think he even said they “breathe his air” which reflects the Aquarian need for space but you get the idea.
He concluded that most people are not worth the trouble. They just didn’t care the way he did so he stopped entertaining and whittled it down to just three or four friends who were close.
Fifeen years later, his circle of friends is even smaller now… In fact, I may be the only one in it but he is satisfied. You may be heading down this sort of path.
My advice would be to ditch convention. More is not better, especially for Scorpio. If you can find one person who feeds you consistently and does not betray you, not only are you lucky, you are apt to find it is actually all you want or need.
Good luck!
click to see the chart full size
Can Scorpios have friends? How about a successful love life?
I don’t know about other Scorpios, but through my life I’ve realized that the amount (and quality) of friends has increased as I’ve been more able and willing to open with myself. The more I’ve been willing to be comfortable with my own differences and accepting of others’ differences, the easier it is to relax and enjoy my relationships with others. I’ll probably always have a few, very close friends but the process has allowed me to enjoy other relationships that aren’t as deep.
As for love relationships, I’m working on that, as well. It seems like the same thing is true — when I relax and am open, love pops up.
So, my answer is a definite yes!
This is funny- I’m now 24, and I have a strong 11th with planets in cancer, and I also have 2 planets in Scorpio. I have so much to say about this, but I’ll try not to babble-
I think it is possible for Scorpio or intense types in general to have friends, but it takes a while to get older and accept your own emotions. People might feel you’re too intense, but the older you get and the more you accept your own intensity, other people who are just as intense and fearless about that as you are start coming in. I had to whittle through some shallower people who didn’t appreciate my intensity also, but it took a couple of years of what I used to think was embarrassment, but now realize was just other people being afraid of emotions.
At 20 I often wondered about this, and I see what Scorpio is going through with feeling like friends aren’t possible. It’s weird 11th house emphasis but actually needing deeper relationships than the 11th house entails.
I am not Scorpio Sun – I have scorp moon, rising, and neptune conjunct ascendant. My sun/venus/and jupiter are leo. I have only had a small group of friends (and I mean small) my entire life. I have never had the constant need to be with alot of people – if anything, I get edgy with too many around, and I need to go back to my bat-cave, lol.
I think Scorpio’s need loyalty, soul-understanding, and a whole lot of sensitivity. You are not going to get that with many people – I agree, if you only come along a few true friends in your lifetime, consider yourself lucky.
Here is a Scorpio Sun who knows the inner circle gets smaller with age. During the decades that led up to this one I have spent so much time worried that the intensity that is me simply needed the right people and place to mellow out. Like you say Dorothy, from the bat-cave I see that the crowded world confounds me, and my sensitivities confound the world. One on one I learn to love and trust, and the need to defend or explain lightens.
My solar Scorpio older brother has been married to the same woman for over 40 years. So, yes, it is possible for Scorpio to find and keep a lasting love. They met in college. She is one strong Virgo woman.
You are young and life is long enough to find what you need. Take care of yourself.
Your brothers marriage gives me hope lol.
My sister a Taurus has been married to her Scorpio man for 50 yeard
I think it’s all about moving with the times and weaving with the relationships as they grow and change with circumstances and maturity. And have fun with it!!
My lifelong and best friends, as few of them there are, have nearly always been Scorpio’s. I think it’s kind of a comfort for me to find a person who is even deeper/more sensitive (wierd) and more intense than I am.
Sun conjunct pluto and scorpio rising..
What they all said above – esp. sonah22. I was baffled by myself when I was younger. It’s like being a wild horse. As you get to know yourself you will find a core but I think there will always be an element of separateness, regardless of who you are with.
My friendships come and go. Recently, I had a couple friends who I introduced to eachother both betray me. I hope they are happy together. another friend just faded away. I got the sense that she just became uninterested in what I had to say any more so I distanced myself. Yet I have my highschool friends that still really get me so we don’t need to hang out all the time but they are always there and we all know it. Romantic relationship are intense andthen are done too. Either way I am always relieved when these relationships are over because I get my energy back and move on. I even feel lucky not to be around them any more. No regrets. There are always more people to meet and get to know. I just know that nothing needs to last forever for me to enjoy the situation and move on. I think I tend to blitz life situations, chew them up and spit them out. I do hope to find a good long term relationship some day though but it will have to be the right thing, no less.
Scorpio sun and Ive never had a lot of friends. Most of those who I called friends ended up just using me anyway..so my circle of “true” friends in this life has been very very small. I dont desire them anymore the way I did when I was younger. I find I like my friends on the internet..if I cant deal with them that day I dont have to turn on my puter/go to that website/answer my email etc.
This subject is so timely for me!! I was thinking not 5 minutes ago how I sometimes have problems connecting with people (yes, I am a Scorpio). I just realized, I actually don’t have a problem connecting with people, I just don’t stay connected to some people because I feel they may take too much of my energy or the friendship may be a bit too superficial for my taste.I’ve always preferred intense friendships/relationships. Not everyone likes this. As a result, I’ve held back.At my expense, of course. Although I know a lot of people,I tend to keep a very small group of friends (no more than 5)who I talk to more often than not. Out of that 5, I talk to 1 regularly. As far as relationships, I like ’em long. Hubby (Aquarius) and I have been together for 18 years. He accepts me, my intensity,and my quirks. Sometimes more than I accept myself.
So true re: one true love, mine last 14 years till insanity took her out of my reach, and years later her accidental death removed all chance of reuniting. Have felt broken since as the one part I needed is gone. As a musician/public person I tend to have tons of “friends” whom I only see at gigs but my phone can go a week without a ring except for salespersons…I’ve found it best practice to learn to love who I am and appreciate the ability to live like a Scorpio with Taurus rising Cancer Moon, without ‘walking on eggs’ to avoid upsetting someone who isn’t and never will be the perfect partner.
This scorpio always has had a small amount of friends.The last couple of years has left me with my husband, my best friend,son and daughter that I am very close to.
However I love a big party. I am the face in a crowd observing the energy. Seeing so many people having a good time makes me happy.
Now I am not good at hosting a party. I am too socially inept at that. Even a small dinner and I get tied up in knots. My hubby is a social butterfly when he wants to be . Lately he has been a hermit.
I’m a Scorp and literally have friends as far back as nursery school. I also have a big family and they are a huge chunk of my social circle. In my case, if I know you and like you, unless you do something to me, we are friends for life. Even if we are in touch sporadically, it’s fine when we catch up. I mean dependable people. Certainly, the non-valuable people fall away, but that’s a natural process.
And love, again, there are people who love me and I doubt will ever stop. Especially as the years pass, I think you value it more. It’s a nice little facet of life.
I’m a Leo Sun with Gemini rising, stellium in Cancer but I don’t make or keep friends or have much love life worth a shit either; never have. People just hate me and turn on me.
My son has same as you- Leo Sun, Gemini Rising but only venus in Cancer. He has a few close friends.August 19/88
he no longer allowed it because he found it sucked his energy. “Those people don’t care about me,” he said. “They just want to cover over and take my energy. They eat my food, they blah, blah…” I think he even said they “breathe his air”
most people are not worth the trouble. They just didn’t care the way he did so he stopped entertaining and whittled it down to just three or four friends who were close.
Well, all of this is just the plain truth. Every word of it.
I have wished for years that I wasn’t so intense. I have wished for years I was the kind of person who could take things with a grain of salt. I have wished for years that I would and could let go of things that mean nothing to others but so much to me. But, this is the energy I have been given, and what I have to live with.
There have been times that I have felt I had no friends. Now, people were present, but they were not my definition of what an actual friend is. For me… sorry…if I am going to get close and stay close…I am gonna need some part of your soul. Is that too much to ask. Well the answer to that is yes. Some people don’t want you that close to your soul. I have one friend that wont accept less. (Cancer sun) I have a husband that depends on this (Pisces sun)
Wish this wasn’t the theme of my life. I have watched so many people having such a great time while I am wondering why I cant do the same.
Lets face it. We are just too much for some people. Way too intense. And, as the years have passed I have not only recognized it but I am okay with it. Also, I don’t mind being alone at all. In fact, I need my alone time and someone that understands how important it is to me.
As a Scorpio sun in the 1st with Libra rising, I easily attract people who want to be friends but I have always limited them to those I had time for. As I got older, I was able to reconnect with friends who had been meaningful throughout my life — even those I hadn’t seen since high school. The bond we had did not lessen and we now make time to see each other such as once a year trips with a college roommate living far away or lunch with out of state friends. As to men, I have NN in the 7th house conjunct descendant and a Libra rising, so love was greatly on my mind when I was young and I did not lack for suitors, (not those necessarily good for me! That changed with experience. Ultimately, as a Scorpio, I think you will find true and loyal friendships and long-term partners, not superficial friendships and flirtations.
with pluto squared to my moon, venus, asc, and north node…probably not for me!
Thank you soup, I could have written most of what you wrote. It can be and is very painful a lot of the time. I talked with Elsa about this recently. She brought out some things that I hadn’t considered, like Saturn needing to set boundaries. For me it’s also about not being so intense, but I have come to the conclusion that unless I take some very strong meds and undergo intensive ongoing therapy, that will not happen. It’s always the other people who have friends, and always the other women who get the men worth keeping. Constant surrender and acceptance is my middle name.
We have to live our sun!
True that. thanks for the reminder.
I have lots of acquaintances but the circle of friends is fairly non-existent. (I do have people in a holding pattern, observing if they’ll immolate themselves) My true best friend died five years ago and nobody has filled that position. It’s not like I have a high bar – trustworthiness is the key – but people show themselves to be chock-full of deceit. Enemies? Yes. It’s gotten so as I almost enjoy them, or at least figuring them out, not that they’re worth the time but it is an interesting study. It’s perverse though, and I long for a place where people are genuine; love is deep and unmovable. Still looking for a human being who would go through the gates of hell with me.