Jessica writes on the “Why Can’t I Find Love” blog:
Elsa, I have watched your videos on projection and this stuff is really important to me because I’m a Libra with Pluto transiting my 7th. I have this haunting feeling that “reflecting love” figures largely for me but I can’t put my finger on an example. Do you think you could give me an example or a synonym for that phrase about what you mean?
Jessica – Sure. People who deflect all the time, deflect all the time. In an effort to keep the ick from getting on them… the ick being anything they are not comfortable with they throw it back on the other person. I can use my husband and I for an example because we are both equally loud… and for that matter, aggressive. So say we get in an argument and we’re both yelling. If I were projecting it would sound like this:
“Stop yelling at me,” I’d say.
“Well you’re yelling too. You’re as loud as I am.”
“Well that’s because you’re yelling at me!”
See how that works? I am not responsible for the words coming out of my mouth, he is. It’s his fault. Here is the amended version:
“Stop yelling at me,” I’d say.
“Well you’re yelling too. You’re as loud as I am.”
“Yeah, I guess I am. Crap! I guess I have a loud mouth…” and from there I go into the pain of self discovery which ultimately allows me to grow.
People with Pluto in their 7th natally or by transit, project their shadow big time. Their partners are also so intense where they are above all that. Yeah right. This costs you big time just think about it. If you are constantly deflecting your qualities all the time then how is someone supposed to love you? Who is there to love? The 4% of yourself you are willing to own?
I’m glad Jessica asked. It sounded important to me too, lol, yet I didn’t quite get it, even though I understood what projection meant. .Because if you don’t own your dark side where is your light? Well Elsa said it well enough, I am just musing…
I am beginning to wonder where my tendancy to hook into manic women may really be coming from.
This really hits the nail: it sounds like a conversation I would have. Even to someone highly self-conscious as I consider myself to be, you can lose the awareness of all those mirrors around you.
If I were a tatoo person, I’d make one in my wrist saying: Pluto!! so I wouldn’t forget. hehe But you’re right, the discovery of those projected sides of us isn’t easy to accept.
Thank you. I think I’m getting this. So, my issue with my partner is that I feel like he doesn’t love me enough. Or doesn’t show that he loves me enough. It’s been hard to figure out what that’s the shadow of and how I could possibly be responsible for projecting that onto him. I think the ugly answer is, *I* don’t love me enough and have been expecting him to make up the deficit there. Ouch. Hard one to fix, too, but… yay, Pluto.
(pardon me while I unlurk)
How do people project if they also have their Natal Sun conjunct Pluto in the 7th?
Jessica – Owning the “ugly answer” is the path to the promised land,
Silversarah – As far as I am concerned the whole 7th house gets projected, I don’t care what’s in it.
the best way i’ve found to think about the seventh is to think of it as “the stuff i’m looking for someone to draw out of me.” it helps me be the conscious of looking for others who trigger me but recognizing that what gets triggered is myself.
like, in a way, it’s the parts of yourself you only see (or are accustomed to only experience, i’m not sure) in interaction, and so you have an internal need for interactions which bring them out. so you look for those kinds of people to “balance” yourself by stretching towards the other.
i’m not sure if i’m making sense here?
wyrdling – yes, sense. Good sense, thank you. 🙂
Wyrdling, interesting. Then, if this is the case, we can try to get that from other sources, not just in our romantic relationships (if its causing us trouble). I can’t think of an example right now . . . like, okay, I like eccentric people (maybe because I feel more comfortable being eccentric and being accepted as that?) but I think marrying one isn’t wise, so maybe I can find an eccentric friend but marry a normal guy? Know what I mean?
TripleCappy: Maybe it’s just needing someone who appreciates your eccentric side, and therefore “draws it out” like Wyrdling says. Which “normal guy” very well might, to make things interesting (at least while dating, then you’ll fight about this same thing when you are married of course).
I totally get it. I have Mars in Taurus conjunct my DSC, so I go around thinking that I need a nice, stable, conservative guy or else I’ll lose all sense of stability/security. But this is crazy b/c I’m earth grand trine — it’s a part of me. Yet I can only access it when it’s reflected back at me.
Funny that I should stumble on this today – yesterday I had an interesting conversation with my significant other – he told me somethings that I refused to see in myself – until now. One of the things that he said is that I state the obvious and that it can be offensive to people – because it makes people think that I am talking down to them. I never really thought about this before. Pluto just crossed over my DC into my Cap. 7th house. Thanks so much for this blog – I see now that I will have many more “truths” to come during this transit – this is going to be a tough one for me!
This ‘projection’, i’m only starting to understand. Pluto entered my 7th @ 0 degrees Capricorn.
It’s like people are coming out of the woodwork, into my life just in the past month.
So that explains it….thanks!