Learningtoground writes on Defending Your Relationship From The Other Woman:
“Elsa, you gave some examples of why it’d not a prob for you and your sisters could you give some examples of things in the chart that indicate those who constantly see the opposite?”
This is a risky question to answer because if I blink wrong, I’ll be seen as blaming the victim but to be candid, I often think women who (routinely) get cheated on are complicit, though they may not be conscious of it. It’s really the same as any other pattern in a relationship. If it happens and happens and happens and happens to you. obviously you’re involved!
As for the astrology, I don’t think it is possible to name an aspect and state that a person is going to be cheated on. For example, you can have Venus tied up with Neptune which would indicate deception in relationships buy it as often as not, it is the “victim” deceiving themselves. If you see a man who has two children by two women and he’s left both of them and then you decide you are going to have a baby with this man too, then who is to blame when he leaves you a year later?
The price of denial is high but you can have something like that in your chart (I do) and find other expressions or outlets for the energy.
In other cases a woman may deprive a man of sex (and affection for that matter) for months or in some cases years or even a decade or more. He winds up getting laid somewhere else and I ask myself, what did she expect?
I think it’s very common that a wife does expect to be cheated on in that circumstance, again consciously or otherwise. She may look the other way while her husband cheats because she simply doesn’t care. She doesn’t want to screw the guy so she has other women do the job for her, knowing her husband is not likely to leave her based on some set-up they have. Money, usually or kids.
In other cases, she is setting up some kind of dynamic rooted in her own psychology and there are no end to the variations on that front. Her father may have cheated on her mother so she follows suit. She may have low self-esteem and not feel herself worthy of loyalty. She may want out of the marriage but want him to be the bad guy, or she may just be one of those people who wants to live their life as a victim and offload blame onto others. I mean, if you are not going to insist on fidelity, this is a choice, right?
There are also a good number of women who cheat themselves and justify it…and then go ballistic when someone cheats on them.
All I am saying or meaning to suggest with all three of these posts is this: There ARE loyal people out there, both men and women. If you don’t run with them, or if you are not among them and you care to be, this is possible to achieve. Even if your circumstance makes it impossible, this exact second, it is still something you can work toward which is another thing…
Just because you can’t get instant gratification does not mean you can’t get gratification eventually or that it doesn’t exist. Basically, if you don’t like your life then work to change it and if you won’t or if you don’t work to change it, then perhaps you like it more than you realize.
Thank you Elsa 🙂
Great Elsa!! Thanks for that =)
I fall into the category of my dad blatantly cheating on my mum & going out there & finding men that cheat on me. Well, that was like a twenty five year cycle. I fought tooth & nail with almost all of those guys. (err, DEFENDING my position, almost continually. God, it’s SO complicated!) I’m hoping I’ve worked on it enough because after that, I’ve had other issues, but no cheating.
You’re telling us what you see & hear from the Hot Seat… & I’m very glad you stick your neck out like this & you DO give us an idea =)
I love the last paragraph of this post.
A standing *O* to you. We need more of this!!!
I know a man who got 7 different women pregnant before he was 25 years old. He then when to prison for raping the daughter of the 8th. 8 years later he got out of prison and much do you want to bet, he’s living with a woman right now?
You hear sometimes that half the marriages end in divorce or half of people cheat, etc. Let’s say that is true. Let’s say that it’s worse than that. 60% cheat or even 70%, which is way higher than I have ever heard anyone claim.
Even if that is true that leaves MILLIONS of people don’t cheat. Legions of people… many, many, many, many don’t cheat so if you want to be one of them, it’s not like you’re going to be the first or the last or even that it is even significant in the scheme of things. People have free will.
I have been cheated on exactly once by an old boyfriend. It never happened again to my knowledge and anyone that knows me knows no man would be stupid or crazy enough to let me find out.
The planet Earth would not have big enough hiding spaces for him.
I hope that women start setting higher standards for their men, because right now it’s a tragedy out there. If you have a penis, you’re in. And men know it.
Undecided men have tried to allure me in emotional threesomes, which for me is still cheating. Very ugly stuff. My Venus in Pisces is charmed but my Venus-Saturn whispers in my ear – ‘be cool”.
I’ve been cheated on a few times, but I would say less than usual. And I sever abruptly when my instinct is triggered. If I think the other shoe is going to drop, I’ll pick it up and throw it.
Because, really…them sitting there with me and wishing they were with someone else is almost as bad as cheating. If they don’t want to be with me, I can make that a reality, real quick.
I have another idea, I believe women who care too much are prone to be cheated on, & will be taken for granted, specially women who care too much and it then leads to denying all the sunny facts ! and creating excuses for her man, since you are ready to take his shit he will give you shit I find it simple
l agree with Elsa
I’ve been cheated on once. Having said that, i think most women have been cheated on, whether they know it or not. Men in their 20’s…..sheeesh!! Men in their 30’s, who knows…. 40’s….i think another thread covered that.
You think most women (with men in their 20’s) have been cheated on?! Really????? 🙁
debdeb, I don’t think that is true. I read that (sorry, Morgan) and thought that there are people who just aren’t satisfied. It’s in the chart in most cases. Moon Venus square and the like. They aren’t satisfied and they don’t understand that some people are.
On that note, my alter ego is the “satisfied…” That is my screen name I mean and I will never forget someone confronting me / challenging me behind the scenes of a mailing list, “You’re not really satisfied…”
I was so surprised! I wrote her back like whiplash to say I was satisfied and I made an instantaneous LONG list of all my satisfactions and she was floored!
We became friends and this was eye-opening for this gal.
The point is, people like me don’t cheat because we are SATISFIED and like does attract like to a large extent.
I have been told before I am naive about believing I have not been cheated on. Whatever. Project to your heart is content if this works a miracle for you. I am telling you some of us are satisfied with what we have and further, we think it’s plenty, overflowing and so forth. This is also shown in a chart, at least the likelihood is.
I am sure if you believe you’ll be cheated on, you’ll manifest it. I have no idea why people do this though. Leave no possibility for a positive outcome or even bliss.
”’I am telling you some of us are satisfied with what we have and further, we think it’s plenty, overflowing and so forth.”’
That is veryy nice ! I feel exactly like that. I am with my bf for 3 years.. and neverrr thought of looking/going with another man.
Ofcourse we have our ups and downs.. but the ups always win. We are both putting equal effort in watering our relationship and it constantly shows by growing.
Now we live 2 hours away(temporary) .. but when we meet ,its worth every moment of waiting.
Before I met him.. I didnt know that I could fall in love with the same guy all over again ..everytime he smiles.
So no… I dont want a new guy.
I dont cheat on him ..and I trust him I know he doesnt
Great post. I’ll be the first to admit that I have daddy issues – but I’m not going to use my past as an excuse to prevent what I CAN change. And what I’ve learned recently is that I CAN be happy by myself, for now, and that I CAN wait for the right man to come along, and that I CAN use my better judgement to ignore the men who are not right for me.
I also believe relationships falter when you’re not open to learning something new. I learned pretty quickly how to manipulate men, and the fact is it was a double-edged sword – I hurt myself real bad by being a manipulative person. Now I just want a friend, more than anything. I want to approach a man as a potential friend first. That’s where the sincerity and the fairness and open-mindedness can be given precedence, rather than trying to squeeze him into a cookie cutter of my romantic ideals.
Working in the hospitality industry, I’ve met more than a few men away from home. A typical line: I’m separated from my wife (by 450 miles right?)
My favorite comeback line: Oh, I have nothing against married men…. It’s their wives that scare me!
No harm no foul