I went to three years of therapy back in the early 90’s when the huge stellium in Capricorn was crossing my ascendant. I’m talking about the years when the Mega Capricorns were born.
One of the first ideas I was introduced was the family system. The therapist described the whole sick family, tossed down in a well or ditch of some sort. Maybe she said, “ditch” and I heard, “well”. Point was, I would have to claw my way out if I wanted to be free.
This sounded like a fair deal to me. The next thing she said alarmed me, though. She said, as I was trying to pull out, the people left in the pit would try to pull me back in. Like they would grab my clothes or my leg or my feet, trying to keep me in place, because it’s just the way it is.
I was horrified, but also intrigued. I’m attracted to challenge but also, who wants to be in a pit with people who would do that? Try to hold a person back?
This was against my grandfather’s tenets – you’re not to get in the way of a person trying to live their life. By then, it had become one of my tenets so for me, this was GAME ON.
It’s been decades. I made it out that hole, completely. Further, I have seen this phenomena play out, all my life. A person drops ten pounds and their friends come in with cake.
Today, we talk about “the matrix” and such. I never want to be in it. I grew up in an era where the Borg was a bad thing. So I write all these posts about staying on the fringe of life (search). But today I realized we’re living in a worldwide psychodrama.
Think about it. Everyone is trying to get you to hate someone, say something about someone, take a side, or whatever. Troublemaking is the way to go, day in and day out, ’round the clock. Gossip, rug pull, slander, deceive? Freakin’ devils stand up and talk into cameras, come on. You’ve got to see the correlation. It’s not a well I want to hang out in!
I’ve been working to extricate myself for months as I’ve mentioned here and there. I think this connection will help me do that. If you want something similar and think this will help you, please hitchhike.
Last, I want to thank the people who has sent support for this site over the last few days. Your love and support has infused me; and I will try to turn around and infuse you right back.
How do you feel about my psychodrama idea?
It’s everywhere. Have to check hourly I’m not involved! I have a mega cap in my team, and unfortunately Drama all the way, simply can not stop playing games, every single move. Cardinal is futile unless directed. It’s exhausting.
Sometimes you don’t realise that you’re in a well until you exit it. Sometimes it takes many astrological progressions and a few SR where you either have Pluto on the DC (last year) or Scorpio on the AC (also my natal chart ruler, at the anaretic degree of Capricorn) before you decide to claw your way out.
Lately I’ve been hanging out with other water signs. Sure, I sometimes miss the endless examination of charts (I was always being sent the charts of random celebrities whose existence she was offended by, or people from primary school who hurt her feelings etc) but it’s been less…I don’t want to use the word toxic…I feel that it goes against my perception of our relationship…but I suppose it was.
The people around me (mostly Pisces Suns or with a strong Neptune signature) are now soothing. It’s lighter.
Never met a Mega Cap btw. Or maybe I have and I didn’t know. Pluto in Libra is my chart ruler. I doubt they want to mess with me. 😝😂
I had a FB troll reveal herself to me last night. She was getting great joy in reporting everything I post as inciting hate or something to that effect. She took great joy letting me know. It didn’t make me angry, but I blocked her. I had met her a few times about 10 yrs ago. she’s one scary person, imo and I am glad she no longer knows where I live. I am going to always speak my truth. I see clearly what’s going on, and just how long it’s been coming – I’ve lived my whole life knowing the future Organized Evil was bringing about. Everyone’s mind, thoughts and thinking is their responsibility – and super boundaries are definitely being crossed and the MICROpeople definitely do not have a thought of their own, worse will kill and fight for that collective thinking they’ve been programmed with….all regurgitated from the one degreed world order – it makes them feel like they are Unique and Somebody – but they can’t be – because they are programmed to think as the tv says. A horrible internal angst, which generates unconscious anger they’ve no clue why, so will project onto others as the cause. I’ve got my degree in Transpersonal Psych – I had to figure out people and myself. I divorced my entire family – people raised in abuse are not loving – and the whole of this world has been abused, and they love it.
Stalkers stalk because they want to get under your skin. They want your attention. Cutting them off when they have nothing meaningful to add to the conversation is the way to go!
There is so much here to process…yes ‘family therapy’ l did suggest it once…but l was ‘the problem’ and of course everyone (the family) agreed.
Just trying to assimulate (Borg speak) to go along with what l was told l should want because everyone else did…the wheels fell off ( so to speak).
All the portents atm: Bedbugs in the city of love, Paris…The Middle East. Being forced to take sides: l say: l support the Israeli people who support the Palestinian peple. And l mean it. l am one of the 40% here in my country and no I am not over it.
I have been seeing Nero fiddle as
Rome burns in my dreams…
But there is an image that keeps coming back to me from the 90s. Buddhist monks created a huge sand painting at the State Art Gallery. A mandala: a perfect universe. It takes days to create. I walked in. Caught the eye of the monk as he flicked the sand to destroy it…then it was all swept up. They do it to teach impermanence.
Sorry, mucky head space day for me. Hard to think.
I hear you girl, I’m going to remember
A flower is an expression of distress
So get ready the rose parade must be suiting up and it’s gonna be more beautiful than a Dr Seuss cartoon. Hang on for all this disparity we will all bloom ❤️
Don’t give up yet, I mean, come on we survived. All of this. Be ashamed to let go of the road now.😘
Hah Raerae
“A flower is a sign of distress”, this from a gal who seeds fields of flowers. Flower and fruit above ground, roots in the ground for spreading unseen. You know flower power Sister!
What I love about your post Elsa, is the pit is something we grew up with too. In my culture we were part of the alamihi syndrome: crabs in a bucket climbing on one another to get out, or the others pulling he one back down. But late in life and after decades of decolonization work, and unlearning the faulty story lines, I can smell the lies and understand where my fears come from and realize the interpretations were faulty.
Your psycho drama description is a perpetuation of purposeful trauma-making.
Astrologically I I have come to appreciate my Saturn(responsibility) conjunction with Mars (my actions) I the 8 th House square my 10th House Scorpio-Mercury-Chiron stellium is my ancestors imprinting my life with deeply creative setting things “to right.” We have language in Hawaiian that serves a broad connected spiritual journey. The trick is to not get distracted by any the spectacle and live humbly yet as fierce as the sharp-toothed eel ( apparently quiet in her hole until you trespass)
It’s a journey at least one lifetime long and more often many lifetimes likely.
All true. If we can manage not being dragged back into that pit, it’s a great start.
I agree that today, we are living in a worldwide psychodrama. We have to protect our minds from being infiltrated with unhealthy falsities 24/7.
❤️😘, I tell my sons you can tell your story but not others , you can listen if that helps,Elsa the well the pit the hell you felt pulled into is real but
Reach back you have wings now ,this is the moment you Fly , I was rereading
I meant don’t let go of rope.Your words are my rope, I come here to shake my day off
Rather before I start
tu Elsa – my moon feeling today’s venus opposition melodrama! mine already got broadcast just before seeing your newsletter …well that’s part 2 of it probably,a plot twist, lol!#laugh or cry …loneliness and lack of support is the key theme, saturn also hanging with my progressed moon! guessing that could feature too! yay for moons or perhaps not today!! I’m sure this is just giving my a preview of saturn opposite natal moon starting next year,of joy!
Super capricorns !!! Therapy! Zombie snake pits and climbing out of wells! It’s Scorpio season baby! I love it!
Swoon!
I became a mother for the time in the 1990s, my son has uranus conjunct neptune in Cap though Saturn had moved away from that stellium by the time he arrived in 1995. On another note, the world wide psychodrama is real. I see it in cancel culture. ‘spilling the tea’ on tik tok and video shorts gossiping about celebrity feuds, filming ones neighbors and co workers to ridicule, turning people’s problems into memes!
Ugh. For those of us that prefer to experience our family drama and humiliation privately, it’s truly shocking
I have a Stellium in Capricorn and in Scorpio – it’s been such an intense week!!!
I’m so invested in what is currently happening in our World drama…and the powers at play, its too hard to ignore the injustices going on.
I do want to get off (this World!) and be productive, I have the luxury to do just that….back to my day to day but I can’t seem to quit thinking about what is happening.
Human instincts warned me to leave TV and radio off for a few weeks. Haven’t read papers since the 60s yet I know what is going on. We’re in sodom waiting for the *flash.*
Psychdrama is for humans. Have spent quality time with animals lately, apart from the magpies they seem peaceful.
Hello Elsa and everyone else reading this.
I have a new method for dealing with these kind of feelings: say that one is thinking about one’s mother in a negative way which brings up bad emotions.
Well, the trick is to realise that she is not there — present — at the moment therefore the thoughts and emotions are self-created; one is NOT having to deal with the person, they exist only in their mind.
Thus, one can detach from the thoughts and feeling and focus their attention to something more pleasant.
Hope that helps,
Blessings,
Alecs
I think you are right. I think your therapist is right. I have seen this in my own life. Recently. Great post.