8th House: Facing Your Own Horrifying Disposition

Dorian gray paintingIn the realm of relationships, once through the 7th house, you come to the 8th.

In the 7th house, you marry.
In the 8th house, you go deeper.

In the 8th house, people grapple with pathology. Their pathology, their partner’s pathology or whatever.

It’s at this stage, people often want to blame their partner for their issues. In reality, marriage does not create a person’s disposition, it reveals it.

This can be horrifying of course; especially when you look in the mirror!

Have you met parts of yourself that give you pause?

60 thoughts on “8th House: Facing Your Own Horrifying Disposition”

  1. As someone with an 8th house Scorpio stellium working in the psychiatric field and as a private citizen who is a clairvoyant, I use my 8th house as a resource to help people. This is not a lighthearted task but mercuy in Scorpio in the 8th house gives me a good sense of humor, albeit on the dark side. I rely on it daily to help myself in dealing with my own strange fate, as well.

  2. Oh hell yes. I’m amazed sometimes that ST stays with me, cause I can barely stand myself most days. I’m self-centered, cranky, a little snobby, a little mean. Saturn in Scorpio is really showing me my ass. I’m getting to see more of his dark side, too–or others in his side are all too eager to spill it to me. But so far neither of us has run for the hills screaming! We’ve just decided that we’re going to work it out. That neither of us is perfect. He’s had women reject him for some of his kinky/creepy traits–I just chalk those up to his Venus/Pluto square and Aqua Rising. He’s going to be weird! And he’s one of the few people out there who loves MY brand of weirdness.

  3. At least every couple months I uncover something else that’s gross about me. One would think that after 20-odd years of doing this I’d have run out of pathologies to explore. *looks at halo*

  4. Weird. I was just thinking about this last night.
    Yes. Yes. Yes. My entire life, most of the people who get under my skin turn out to be Virgos. The energy really inflames me. And guess what, I’ve got Virgo in my 8th house. So I may sit here yelling at them, but I’m the one getting angry. And Virgos reveal something I don’t know what to do with. Which is, I have a angry, violent side. But I have to own it. Because I know in reality there is nothing wrong with Virgos.

    I’m just not an Saint. I’m truly human. I’m not exempt of any bad behavior. Just because I haven’t done it, doesn’t mean I’m not capable of bad behavior. If I deal with that as a human, it doesn’t scare me. It’s human nature. But If I look at that as a saint, I’m mortified. LOL

  5. Yes, I was never married but I lived with my ex for 3.5 years. At some point our relationship became a mix of my parents marriage and his parents marriage, it made me feel sick. I tried very hard to fix it… I am psychologically educated, I go to therapy, I meditate, I learn astrology…I invest A LOT in my personal development and betterment because I come from a family with strong pathologies and I have suffered because of that tremendously. But he didn’t want to do anything, so we split. I have 8th house Moon in my natal chart and his Moon is in Scorpio.

    After all my hard work and self-development I still attract pathological partners. I can recognize them quickly and not get involved, but I wonder if I will ever meet someone healthy and developed.

    1. Avatar

      How do you recognize the pattern or partners? Sounds like you are the “catalyst” in relationships. Sometimes emotional intelligence is hard to have when the partners don’t want to do the work with you.

      1. I don’t know how I recognize them, I just do. I don’t have to invest any conscious effort to recognize pathological behavior or hidden motifs, weaknesses, unspoken goals, expectations… whether they are of other people or I catch myself before getting involved in it. To me, recognizing has never been a problem, the problem is resisting triggers even though I am aware of them. I don’t understand what you mean by “catalyst”, sorry, English is a foreign language to me.

  6. 8th house Jupiter, 29 degrees Sag. So yes, I see my horrifying disposition on a regular basis through the mirror held up by my partner, but I’m really upbeat and optimistic about changing things around. I can own my shameful, ugly bits but they don’t act as an albatross. Actually, each piece that gets revealed tends to be easily healed 🙂

  7. Six of my houses are “empty” including the 7th and 8th…..7th in Pisces and Aries, 8th Aries…..so I tend to try to try to figure it out that way… but as Virgo with lots of planets in Virgo I can find stuff wrong with myself all the time! I have learned to be less self critical though, more like “ok try better next time.” My husband is a strong but sensitive Cancer so I skip the criticism. And that oddly got me to be less heavy on myself.

  8. Yes, almost all of the parts.

    I am a serial monogamist and I should be studied! My point, more than one man has had to live with me for several years at a time. Poor things.

    I have plenty of days where I make my own skin crawl…. all this Scorpio… (starting to scratch at myself just thinking about it now)

    I make a world class effort every day at not being an asshole … some of this is because of the way I was raised, some of it because of my birth chart…a lot of it is because of menopause…..

    1. Avatar

      Lol, You sounds like you got it going on, Soup! Keep up the good work! As a Scorpio stellium I concur with much of what you wrote.

  9. I casually knew a virgo woman for a few years after we were supposed go out on a date but there was a mix-up by me. Looking back now it seems fated that it wasn’t the right time for us yet because it turns out there was a bigger plan going on. Fast forward 2 years, 2010, after some false starts, she came to my work to sit down and chat about whatever. She was very clever in finding out if my parents were still together, that kind of stuff. But that day was the beginning of each of us unwittingly bringing out issues in each other. Issues like insecurity I didn’t even know I had. Lol. I ran int her a few days after our chat and I called her name out and I could see the side of her face and it broke out into visible rage which she quickly hid. It was bizarre. I texted her a week later and she was so pissy and emotional. So I unknowingly was bringing things out of her. Things went from great to horrible in a matter of days and we hadn’t even talked in those few days. Lol. We broke all contact and that’s when my issues of fear and insecurity surfaced. But I have since conquered those issues for the most part.

  10. I’m actually grateful to see these things sometimes. They’re easier to deal with in daylight. Some of them have been surprisingly easy to eradicate too.

    1. Avatar
      Hildegarde's Noviciate

      I so agree with you Libra Noir. My moon has been taking a beating in the 8th.
      I am SO grateful for the Uranus in Taurus transit there. My narcisism took a beating VERY happy to say and Ive been able to bat around my overly intense feelings and pathologies there. Im grateful for my Aquarius Saturn coming to visit. This Virgo is glad to get back to her sensible grounded self after trolling through the pain and drama of the past 6 years

  11. Pluto in Leo in the 8th. Just like all the major generals of WWII–the ability to change peoples’ lives. Not always in a positive way.

  12. Avatar

    “At this stage people often want to blame the relationship, but in reality, marriage does not create a person’s disposition, it reveals it.

    This can be horrifying of course, especially when you look in the mirror!”

    WOW! True, true, true.

  13. (Some good “meaty” Topics at present)
    Sigh. Scorpio sun/merc with Saturn in 8th house. (and conjunct Nth node) Life has always felt heavy. “Emotional crises” .Dwelling on dark side of life. Seeing behind facades.
    I’m inclined to subject myself to ruthless scrutiny. Hate the idea of being unfair, hypocrite etc. Always questioning my motives for doing anything, to the point of killing all spontaneity . Guess it’s because of all the crap out there, I can’t tolerate any in myself. Needless to say I’m very understanding of human frailties in other people, but I’m also wary of people who have never faced themselves.

  14. We only really ever lean about ourselves in so far as being non-subjective by being in relationships…. ouch! it can hurt! but life’s a school so get use to it.. I have would know, I have perfect Pluto-Venus conjunction in the 9th house… albeit flavored by Uranus and Neptune.. damm 60’s child!! lol..

    1. Thx Elsa,
      Very much relate to this 8th house stuff, also have Mars here square Neptune in Scorpio… however, very lately have come to terms and accepted my own “Horrifying Disposition” after almost a lifetime of avoidance or denial…. Onward we march!!

  15. I have an almost Scorpio Stellium in my second house – Moon conjunct Saturn in early degrees and in later degrees, Mercury conjunct Venus. I am sick to death of Saturn transiting Scorpio. As we speak, Saturn is exactly conjunct my Mercury and its only through Astrology that I realize that I shouldn’t listen to all the negative crap going through my head at the moment. It’s the pits if I dwell on it.

    I’ve seen some ugly parts of myself lately and actually showed my ugly self to some people. Its something I would never have done in the past, but Saturn has unmasked me and I have a hard time hiding it. I love the picture, Elsa. It reminds me of that old movie “The Picture of Dorian Gray”. I think everyone has one of those pictures hidden away, but they rarely show it to others.

    I think I want to curl up under the covers and face my demons by myself. I don’t want anyone to see my frailties.

  16. Stardust.. Couldn’t have said it better. It’s depressing how many haven’t done the inner work and never will. Both on a personal level and for what it means to humanity at large. Still, i certainly have made mistakes and had my own pathology to work through, so i have to be forgiving and tolerant. It’s just the way it is. Everyones evolving at a different time in their own way. Most of them have no idea what the hell they are doing, or who they really are. I am glad i can spot them now though. Saves me a huge amount of trouble and hurt. And i know it’s no fun ride for them churning aound in their pathology making a mess of everything they touch. I’m prepared to live the rest of my life alone if a have to. There is no way i will get into a close relationship again with anyone who hasn’t done the work, and doesn’t know how to handle themselves. It makes my skin crawl. It makes me feel sick to be around them. My energy gets sapped and i literally feel an awful feeling to be around them for too long. I’m glad all that bullshit is over for my intimate life. As for the outer life..mm… there are billions of them out there, causing havoc. Ughhh..

    Oh hey Elsa.. I just wanted to take a moment off topic to thank you again for all your work, and Satori. It’s a very good thing your doing here. Keep up the good work, we appreciate it.

  17. I have met parts of myself that give me pause. They are not what I would have thought, having Pluto and mars in my chart. Surprisingly, I turn total Libra, I give everything I am to the other. Maybe I’m stating that wrong, but with merc/mars in my 1st conj. my asc, it seems at odds with who I am by my natal chart. Then again, maybe that’s what a cappy ruled 7th with the NN conj. my dsc is about. I’m not really sure anymore.

    Anyway, it seems that when I get into a love relationship, I tend to sacrifice all that I am for my partner or the good of us both. I wish I could say that I felt good about this, or that this was a good thing, but I don’t. Instead, it feels like I need to learn to set boundaries in order to protect myself (which goes against that whole sacrifice yourself for another idea, in my mind). It’s more like learning how to ‘done your own oxygen mask 1st, before trying to help others’.

  18. Holy crap, yes. This is the plus side of being a Virgo with a 4th house Pluto. I see the cracks in my own veneer, all of the time.

  19. I have an enormous amount of Pluto/Scorpio energy. I am a Scorpio sun and Scorpio rising. My sun and rising are in conjunction with my Scorpio Pluto all in the 12th house. My Mars is in the 8th house. My Mercury and Venus are both in the first house.
    With this said, self-reflection is the biggest part of my life. I am constantly putting myself under scrutiny and see every single little detail of everything I do (Mars in the 8th). I tend to get very emotional when self-reflecting, but it is part of my makeup. The trick is to turn the emotion into positive emotion rather than let it drown you. Pluto tends to try and drown me often but I’ve learned how to coax him into letting me breathe on occasion 🙂
    I am one of those people that rips layers and layers off of myself in transformation on a regular basis. I come face to face with the darker side of my nature and if there is something that continues to raise fear, hatred, negativity inside of me, I face it over and over again until I have accepted it. This may take years, and I may not be ready to face it all the time, but eventually I always do. I am not about keeping things hidden inside my inner realm because I KNOW they will be back with a vengeance if I forget about them!

  20. Sun square SUn today in my 8th house. I enjoy doing inner work although it is often quite painful. 8th house jupiter, 3rd house pluto + yod.

    I lack a sense of self when in relation to others. All kinds of 8th house problems and nodal issues.

    Healing one’s pathology is exhausting and incredibly important work. I’m glad for the transits and this time in my life.

  21. This is funny when I consider my 7th is Pisces and Aries my 8th. ?

    From lovey dovey to war- it’s almost like I shouldn’t be married yet I can’t imagine if I had been single all these years. It’s not me.

    I don’t know what to think now!

    1. Yeah, same here. I only have Mercury in Pisces and Chiron in Aries (and tons of other asteroids in both) but they make several aspects. I feel that my two marriages were practice. That sounds crass. But I still ain’t ready for a real heavy duty til death do us part partnership. Aries sun and Venus in the progressed and it’s war all the time. Progressed Pisces moon cries on a man’s shoulder then the Aries knocks his dick in the dirt. I need a worthy opponent.

  22. Knowing my not so wonderful aspects, I have learned over time to, mostly, counteract them…A major problem is my tendency to be too intense, which runs in the family.

  23. I have sun and merc (ruling planet) in 8 house. I can’t escape the loathing, even though I don’t see it some days by escaping through music and anything to take away the grim, someone will remind me and hold up the mirror through their actions, reactions. I’m learning to accept me and all the horror that the 8 house exposes (pluto has been prowling here, I mean transiting this 8 house of mine for almost ten years and now Saturn is about to join him. I can barely tolerate the exposure of my shadow so vividly. My poor Libra stellium cringes and my venus square neptune does me no favours under Pluto’s Prophetic Eye. Out of this horror I have become humble, truly touched by those most embarrassed, side-lined or ignored, ill, forgotten, dead. Seeing this much and being shown it – in case I should choose to side-line it – is a slice too raw to digest but inescapable. Humility, prayer, penance, …. I have to work closely with someone in my social work that reveals all the knots and warts of my character, slithers of gold too, but there’s so little of that. There is no choice but to go through it, and be as honourable, sensitive and beautiful as you can while the shadow walks beside you.

  24. I love this!!

    Neptune is transiting my 8th. I have south Node in the 8th, Pisces with natal Saturn opposite it. 8th house ruler in 5th. Every major transit of my 5th house over the 8th house ruler has brought up close and personal views of my shadow self. Pluto was tremendous. Uranus was shocking. Now Saturn is going through my 5th for the second time in my life and I’ve never felt more repulsive in my life. Ugggh. I’m not told this –people still think I’m attractive and very young for my age but in my mind, it’s all a hologram (like Elsa says often). Freaking Neptune ?

    In truth, I’ve never felt less attractive or gross–not that I’m not familiar with that with all my life but never like this. I’ve never been with that realization comfortably. I’m not upset about it –just awoken. It is daunting to realize how much of my self-esteem all this time hinged on my outward appeal, even though I’m not a superficial person. As a Leo rising, I take a lot of pride in my appearance. Now, I’ve realized all the gross shit and baggage there lying under there emotionally, physically, psychically, and otherwise. I’m in the process of redefining my self-esteem and dancing with my shadow side instead of locking it in the closet. It’s been very freeing, actually. Saturn’s been transiting for over 2 years now and will be there quite awhile longer before he hits my 6th, joins Pluto and does whoknowswhat there… ??‍♀️

  25. I got Scorpio 7th, Sag 8th, Neptune on the cusp between them and Saturn transiting my 8th that will keep at it for quite some time. I’ve faced my 2 ex-partners hidden sides. I don’t know. I think my Neptune and my Libra stellium want to love no matter what, but my natal Mercury conjunct Saturn in Virgo do not tolerate too much shit that gets served by that 8th. Saturn is transiting my 8th and I am torn between love and knowledge of my boundaries. People I love go away. I do not know what is the right approach yet. Apparently it takes time (Saturn) to get there. I’m all for effort through time, Old Sage. But apparently my loves are not.

  26. Avatar

    Ooh yes. I am going through some of this right now. Not marriage but Saturn in 8th house fun. Facing my possibly horrifying disposition. Like maybe I’m a terrible, lazy, no-good excuse for a human being? Ugh, that’s the easy way out. Maybe that I have very little confidence in myself, or that my confidence is reliant on the outcomes of my work, not on some internal guide. It’s exhausting living this way. If I stay in the moment then it goes well….

  27. Of course, what Elsa says is also true… both partners get to experience the other partner’s pathology, or shadow. And the relationship will last only if there is some sort of mutual shadow-acceptance… which sounds really close to mutual love, or dare I say it… true love, that includes understanding, compassion and forgiveness… for each other’s pathology. School didn’t teach me that, and neither did Disney movies. Kind of sounds like hitting the long term jackpot, no idea how to get there though.

  28. Saturn natally in 8th house Aquarius – my Saturn was on top of my moms Sun. She had a hard labour delivering me.

    I have difficulty lightening up.

    Most recent relationship has really disciplined me. Simultaneously because of his Pluto in Leo my second house of self valuing, and my own readiness, Virgo Pluto Natal 3rd now transiting work and daily 6th house.

  29. “Marriage does not create a person’s disposition, it reveals it.”
    So true! If only some people could know this. They usually blame the partner & miss the mark.
    My mirror image is so lousy that I can’t live with people 24/7. I need moments alone to be all by my ugly self.
    Also I don’t want impose that on others.

  30. Um, yeah! I have planets in the 8th including Saturn, and Scorpio on the descendant. Relationships traditionally have brought the worst out of me. But my last relationship went well, so maybe that’s a sign that I’ve learned my lessons!

  31. I have a natal 8th house Sun.
    My girlfriend and I have a Sun conj. Mercury composite in the 8th house.

    It’s terrifyingly fantastic!! We are mature now, and are able to be present and allow each other the space and ability to dive deep into ourselves and one another. I couldn’t have asked for more.

  32. Oh, Elsa. This is so true. All of it. I now think half of people who end up divorce its because one of both people hate themselves, and the other half should have never gotten married in the first place. I’m sorry if that offends anyone who is divorced. I’m not claiming I’d be except from this experience happening to me with the drama I’ve had over the last year.
    Mars in Libra in the 7th house
    Venus/Pluto/Saturn in Scorpio in the 8th.

  33. Oh yeah the beautiful colorful shell melted off yesterday ,just just a melty mess , was blaming myself for taking an ibuprofen PM as culprit(nite b4))
    Nasty narcotic, but the mess was me
    Just horrified that someone was
    F***ing with me, when and how do I
    Stop feeling chased?oh I am divorced
    6 years in August,hope not to mention that anymore

  34. Both rulers of my Pisces ASC in the 8th. Jupiter and Neptune make me idealize relationships only to be let down or yearn for freedom. Never had trouble attracting a new partner though. Routine is hard on romance and the passion flames turn to low over time. Only one contentious breakup so not too bad over all. No big desire for kids.

  35. Ive natal uranus in the 8th (Sadge). the things ive uncovered when it transited my 12th… we are never all that we think of ourselves, as arent others all that we told ourselves that they are. but sometimes, sometimes…we’re a lot more than we ever expected as well, as in facing ourselves there is great liberation to be achieved. good one, Elsa, thank you

  36. Avatar
    Shimmering Light

    Great post, Elsa. “In reality, marriage does not create a person’s disposition, it reveals it.” With the ruler of my 7th house in the 8th house I can take this literally :-).
    I would not have the chance to meet that part of myself without being in relationship, and I feel very fortunate that I am.

  37. This does remind me of something. When I was 16 , I had long black pin straight (dyed) hair. I got so many compliments and questions on how I got it to be so ‘pretty’.
    I had a boyfriend. I was at that age. The birds and the f**cking bees…..

    I gave him a lap dance .

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Scroll to Top