How might ambivalence show up in a chart?
Libra is well known to struggle when making decisions but I know a lot of ambivalent Pisces as well. This makes sense when you consider two fishes swimming in opposite directions but Pisces / Neptune also has to struggle with disillusionment.
I have Venus in aspect to Neptune. I feel ambivalent around forming relationships (Venus) because I know that at some point “the other” will become disillusioned (Neptune) with me or I with them. One day it hardly seems worth it and the next day, it’s seems very important I form these bonds so there you go.
I can think of a number of other scenarios, signs or aspects that would spell a-m-b-i-v-a-l-e-n-c-e in a birth chart. Venus with Saturn may dread relationships but be drawn to them because they know this is where their lessons lie. The freedom-loving signs, Sagittarius and Aquarius may also experience ambivalence because while few of us are truly loners, these signs really don’t like to be tied down.
Are you ambivalent? Tell us.
hmm..I have mixed feelings regarding the topic (I’m sorry, I might laugh about that all day)
Ambivalent is my middle name! Hahaha. Too much Pisces/Neptune/Libra.
Sometimes. Ha ha. As Aqua rising, Uranus/Sun conjunct descendant along with 7 aspects to Venus I am ambivalent.
Me too. A Sag, with Sag Merc conjunct Neptune on the MC, Aqua rising with Aqua Mars conjunct, Moon Aqua in first and Libra Venus. Um, ambivalent much??? Yeah. 🙂
Unambivalently. Mars conj Neptune. In Libra. ’nuff said 🙂
I am extremely ambivalent, I drive myself crazy. Not sure how it relates to my chart. I don’t really understand astrology enough to know.
That Venus-Saturn ambivalence is soooo true. I also hate how relationships seem to point out everything about you that someone else considers “wrong.”
I am not ambivalent about relationships. I am very certain I dont want to be with a looser which is all I keep meeting. The moment I meet a guy that likes me and and he can support a life where I wont be broke and struggling and carrying him I will settle down with him.
I have all of your examples. I was apologizing to shopkeepers today for my ambivalence.
Yes and no!! LOL It also depends on the topic and the day I guess. I have Mars in Libra and my Neptune squares my Moon and Trines my Venus. Oh and I guess my 12th house Sun is also to blame. 😀
Indecision may or may not be my problem.
Yes, one of the reasons is just what you said: “Venus with Saturn may dread relationships but be drawn to them because they know this is where their lessons lie.” My nn is also in my 7th house conjunct my dsc, putting my south node in my 1st house (conjunct my asc, merc & mars). I’m ambivalent about relationships all the time, yet am drawn them (cappy moon jupiter, my new mantra should be: just keep learning, just keep learning).
Angie
if ambivalence is being pulled into two directions and not know how to find the balance, not being able to make a decision between the two and prioritize, well then I think I have this difficulty finding equilibrium between home/family and career. It seems I cannot have both at the same time the way I would like(for the moment :). This would be the opposition between Jupiter cj moon on the IC (Aries) both opposing Pluto on the MC (Libra). The opposition is constant. I feel guilty about having children and not being there – at home – to take care of them if I am “taken” by work, which I need to raise them anyway and because it secures my independance too!! aaarrhhggg and when I don’t work, I go crazy because I need this social involvement and the “recognition” (aries moon, man). I’ve been thinking I should work from home and I have an idea of how, but I need some more time. Ambivalence too between Mercury in 6 (Gemini) opp Neptune in 12 (Sadge)cj AS. I have not found the way to be in these two places at the same time..and with mars in pisces it does not help to set my energies on a clear objective, or anway to spell out clearly the objective (3rd house cusp in Pisces). I rely on my intuition/feelings to guide me. It’s worked sometimes, and sometimes NOT!!
My husband is virtually never ambivalent and I envy him. This is like living in hell, comparatively speaking.
Usually, I am not ambivalent but think I am because the surface thoughts are ambivalent. But toss me into an emergency, and the surface ambivalence (Neptune in the 1st) disappears. One desire is often stronger than the other, but on days I don’t care about either one, I am ambivalent.
Neptune and Jupiter in Libra, and Saturn opp Venus – yes I am ambivalent much of the time, or rather can always see both the pros and the cons of any argument. It helped me to grow out of my youthful obsession to be ‘right’ all the time
I am tired of being ambivalent about it all. But it’s like, you may want a relationship, but it’s not going to last if you do. So what’s there to be ambivalent about when you’re going to end up alone whether you try or not, I suppose.
I’m ambivalent about going to see a therapist/counselor/social worker/shrink.
I’m pretty sure I’m crazy but I don’t know what kind and I’m fed up with testing like the MMPI because every time I’ve taken it, no one’s ever gone over the results with me because they’re not actually qualified to make a diagnosis.
Over the last year or so, I’ve been reading mostly online articles/wiki about depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, bi-polar disorder, and different personality disorders like borderline personality disorder, narcissists, sociopaths etc. Trying to figure out what I AM and what I’m NOT, as well as trying to identify these things in others because I just don’t feel like I have a good handle anymore on how to tell who I should trust.
Because of this blog/message board, I’ve also learned about various tactics that people use to abuse each other, such as gaslighting and the silent treatment.
My mom told me she wants me to see someone or join a support group because I am very angry and confused as to what exactly happened to me a few years ago and I’m taking it out on everyone.
I know I post on here all pissed off doom and gloom, but seriously, I used to be an optimist and not a hateful person.
If I go to see a counselor, and I recount the details of what happened, they’ll probably tell me that yes, I was sexually abused, if not “assaulted” by this man I had cared for and considered to be my friend.
On the other hand, it could been seen as a miscommunication in which I over-reacted and he withdrew because I brought up the incident and told him I was angry.
I think I would have been able to let it go if he had not then abandoned me and started talking shit about me when I tried to reach out to him. He told me I was crazy and nothing happened between us.
Maybe relationship-wise, he’s correct. There was nothing between us, except, I thought, an honest friendship and some mutual sexual interest. I let myself be vulnerable and he tried to fuck me over! So I tried to stand up for myself and that seemed to just make things worse.
And like, at least a year later, when I was just still mildly hurt/irritated, he contacted me from out of nowhere and tried to violate me all over again, without even being there.
You know, he even told me to “be happy” and that I should “love myself”.
A good friend of mine came to visit the other week and she told me that when someone denies having done something to you, tells you your crazy and runs away from it, it means they know they did something bad and they don’t want to deal with it.
And the thing that I have a hard time with right now is that if I finally say “This man tried to abuse/assault me” does that label him as an abuser? What does it say about me that I still feel love for this person?
I would not call it rape, even though someone else might call it that.
I’ve been reading about rape/assault/abuse and consent and withdrawing consent etc. The whole Julian Ass-ange thing piqued my interest.
A man said to me the other day that if every time someone said they were abused/assaulted because they felt used after sex, every drunken one-night-stand would be categorized as sexual assault.
Look, I have never been beaten, brutalized, attacked by a man, but I have been in situations that I didn’t feel great about. I know I’ve felt used/taken advantage of before, but this was something more than that.
First of all, I was not drunk, though I’d had 1 beverage a few hours before, and I don’t believe he’d been drinking at all. I was not, I don’t believe, in a diminished capacity to make decisions. In fact, the first decision I made was to not have sex with him if he couldn’t be bothered to use a condom. And that’s where things kinda went downhill, I guess.
If you have something in your mouth, you voluntarily have it in your mouth, but then it is forced into your throat, which you were not asked and did not consent to, is that abuse/assault?
If you stop and tell that person you’re no longer into it and they try to talk you into it anyway and when you tell them no, they just finish like you’re not even there (because once a man has an erection, it’s a crime against nature to not do something with it, right), and maybe you second guess yourself and cave, and you just get smacked in the face while they’re finishing, isn’t that abuse of some sort or another?
And with Venus/Cap/6th house, maybe it just means I want to be treated like shit.
I get that men and women are different and have different needs/wants, but this is just bullshit, through and through.
Change Your Orbit
build/create something with your hands
drink a lot of water
eat good food
poop twice a day to release toxins
help someone else
then, re-check your orbit…
loool completely! mars exactly conjunct neptune in Sag. Neptune also trines my Venus -pluto-saturn conjunction. Pisces rising, libra mercury…Im always coming and going. Oneday Im on a complete high, love my lover than the next day I dont even know if its what I want and my energy is so low I dont know if I shoulw throw the towel in. Takes me forever to make decisions! Especially really important ones!
oppositions….
I am bi-valent, which makes things twice as complex; but
offers opposite views of emotions and situations–adding
curiosity and interest. Surety is a chef’s reduction, which
comes in stages…
Throw the runes…
What about Gemeni ascendant, the quintessence of ambivalence?
I’ve got 8H Neptune in Scorpio squaring 6H Venus/Mars and Uranus in Leo (loosely) but I can identify with the disillusionment! I remain hopeful always. Who wants to be bitter? People project their own secretiveness on me but I’m pretty straight with a Sag moon/Gemini Sun. Relationships are a revolving door and there’s always something going on in my blind spot.