Dear Elsa,
I was dating my Gemini boyfriend for 10 months when we went on a trip to visit some old friends. While there – my ex contacted me and was texting me when my boyfriend walked up. My first mistake was trying to hide it from him – which only angered and confused him, as we were in the process of building a strong relationship.
Later that night, we were all up at a party hanging out and after consuming way too much alcohol – he slept with a random girl that was at the party. He immediately stumbled and told me and we left the vacation. I dropped him off at his house and he called everyone of my friends the next day to apologize for his actions and to take full responsibility. He also called his sister to inform her that he made a mistake and did this out of anger, insecurity, and drunkenness.
We spent a couple of long months in counseling with the church and finally started to relax again around one another. We have had a few blips along this road – stemming from my insecurities and his guilt – but we love each other and want to get past this dark time in our lives. I tell you all that because we are now engaged. I feel like we are strong and solid, otherwise I wouldn’t have said yes. However, like any human, there is a little doubt in the back of my mind — wondering of the past.
Any advice? I would greatly appreciate it.
Motivated In Love
United States
Dear Motivated,
Yes I have advice. Slow down. Slow way, way, down and I don’t mean this in a way that is condescending. And I don’t mean it as if “she’s going to grow up or out of this… or the relationship is going end sort of way.” I mean it as an astrologer looking at your chart. Slow down in love because this is the speed that is organic to you.
Now I don’t care if you are 25 years old. You have Venus in Capricorn and Saturn tied with Mars and your 7th house and this love thing is serious business to you. Your email reflects this and I think that’s a wholly positive sign – so what I would encourage you to do is get even more on your game via self awareness.
Aquarius Sun aside, be aware that when it comes to love, you are a like a wobbly kneed mountain goat trying to reach the heights. And for a skinny-legged goat to manage this, there is no choice but to move slowly and carefully up the side of the mountain. And when you get to certain points… well you might want to take a rest, plot your moves before taking the next step so you can have a sure foot. This is your game and there is nothing wrong with it.
So that’s my advice. Go forward, absolutely. Don’t dare give into the fear but make your moves only when you real reasonably sure it is safe, understanding that for you what is ‘reasonably safe” is probably ultra-safe and bullet proof for most. 🙂
Good luck.
I’m in the same boat and taking the same advice….moving very fast with some ‘odd’ things that came up. We’ve worked through it and he is still pushing forward, but is getting that I am needing things slowed down. I feel like I’m dampening the fun, but it’s good just to take the breather and be.
Good luck!