The soldier and I continue to try to understand our fights which are intense as hell. You’d be stunned to witness I’m sure and one of the things that we know is once the soldier gets mad it is very hard to get him un-mad. Once hot it takes him a day at least to cool off, this is if he is trying. In contrast, I can snap out of it in about 30 seconds.
If you think about it you can see the trouble this would cause because hell. I’m over it and if he can’t get over it then damn it, I may as well not get over it either.
The pissed off soldier is not a pretty site. It’s about as pretty as a rhino charging straight for you and you’re out of your mind if you think this animal is not going to crush you. You will be crushed and this is true even if he is attempting not to crush you. Asking him or expecting him not to crush you is about the worst thing you can ask of the man because it’s not natural.
He states it plainly: “I don’t like to be in a position where I am in a fight and I am not allowed to completely annihilate the enemy…”
I think it is his prerogative to feel this way. He’s honest. But in contrast I want discourse and compromise (Libra) so we get in big trouble very quickly once we’re squared off.
Luckily we don’t fight that often. Something like all hell breaks loose every 6 or 8 weeks and it’s very easy to see why we wound up breaking up once a month when we were kids. So much energy is generated, what else can you do?
It turns out the fights get resolved when we change positions. I have to get super aggressive and he has to do the Libra side which makes sense seeing as that’s where his north node is. This doesn’t come easy for a rhino.
What rhino wants to discuss things with… anyone? It’s either leave me alone or I will charge your ass and then you’ll leave me alone.
In contrast, gazelles like me are not really built to withstand the impact of a rhino on full charge. I get nervous when he’s hot and staring. I can feel my own fragility in comparison to his dense composition.
The strangest thing is we almost never have a real complaint. I can think of one fight in our lives that was actually over something real and tangible. ONE.
I think this is funny in a way. People are just so complicated, unique and fickle.
What is your fighting style and where is your Mars?
That video was cool!
I’m Mars in Aries and I react fast.
My brother has Mars in Virgo and he’s way to analytical to fight, I have to do it for him!
“I don’t like to be in a position where I am in a fight and I am not allowed to completely annihilate the enemy…”
I sure as hell feel something similar when i’m really angry (Mars-Pluto influence?), but i definitely don’t show it (Mars in the 12th).
Toni…that is funny…my husband is mars in virgo and it is so frustrating because he is so analytical….whereas I am mars in cancer and so I get all wound up in a fight….like a wave building in the ocean…and then it is just onslaughts of “punches” and he just stands there saying, “okay, what do you want me to do?”..it is very frustrating for me because I want him to fight me back or stand some ground or something. If I push too hard though, his true anger is triggered and it stops me in my tracks and I dissipate. I wonder sometimes if I do this just to get the emotion out of him because that is so hard to reach….
denamaria, I think Virgos are mental people, not physical!
“denamaria, I think Virgos are mental people, not physical!”
Disagree. Virgo is an earth sign and most definitely in their body.
“I don’t like to be in a position where I am in a fight and I am not allowed to completely annihilate the enemy…”
Similar feeling here too, except i like to corner the enemy. I don’t wear my anger outwardly though. Mars/Saturn
I have Aquarian Mars on my ASC and lots of truth-blurting Sag, so if I’m not direct and verbally explicit w/you in a conflict, it usually indicates a lack of trust on a fundamental level or that I don’t care enough to bother.
I hate fighting. One expression of my anger: I often don’t tell people when they have hurt me or upset me and instead the upset just builds, and so does the pain until I let everything out at once. It’s frustrating. (Aries Mars/4th trine Saturn Leo 8th)
Another expression is that I heat up and start vibrating. I feel myself going nuclear and when that happens I make myself scarce and disappear (trine Neptune 12th).
Also have SN in Aries…I don’t like being pissed off and no outlet for the anger, it makes me feel like doing something drastic.
I don’t hate fighting because I’m scared of my anger, by the way…I think there is a purity to anger that could be used for good, I just don’t know how to. yet. i like the cleaning power of fire.
Right where we are the most angry is right where we are the most vulnerable. How do we trust enough to be vulnerable and let our Real self be expressed? Let our Real self feel empowered without attacking who we think is “hurting” us?
“she had no particular interest in competition because she always started from the assumption that, if it mattered, she would find a way to win.” [Shadow of the Hegemon] Orson Scott Card
3rd house scorpio mars aspecting saturn
Mars in Cancer and I do stay mad. And I don’t like that, would rather let it go, fly out the window but no–
And I keep it in, on simmer and it may or may not boil over.
And I may seethe and remember, remember and seethe….for months. And then…..let it go. Never forget, but let go.
Right now I have a mars square mars by transit and keep reminding myself of it – so I don’t get into trouble. Last night I took a taxi home from the airport and the driver took a wrong turn and I got so pissed off that I slammed the door when I left. He was confused. I was so irritable and I’m strong — started to get afraid I’d break the damn door.
I don’t like to fight by the way, makes me nervous. Strangely though, I could annihilate (verbally, I mean) but don’t like to hurt others and I know I could because I observe and absorb, etc.
Can understand someine’s sensitivity pretty fast.
My mars is conjunct mercury but has sextiles and trines. Also a square to jupiter.
Someday I’ll have to let it all out I guess – or I will implode. Writing helps in the meantime.
My boyfriend and I are bickerers. He’s got his Gemini Sun/moon in Virgo and I’m my Pisces/Leo self, and it’s really freakin’ hard to communicate some times.
We’ve had our blow out arguments. We’ve had our days of poking at each other for the sake of poking at each other.
And he’s one of the ones that has a slow burn, but once he blows up, get out of the country. It will take him a while to cool off, too. 😀
I just steam – I yell and I start crying (either because I’m legitimately upset or because I’m so pissed I can’t control it), and I calm down awfully quick.
Maybe it’s my Libra moon relating? I can start a fight, but I’m like you and I want it done in 30 seconds. My man stays mad. Last fight he was hot with anger, and I realized that I’d pissed him off and I was majorly apologetic and scrambling to make it better. It took him a little while but he came around (Pisces sun/Scorp moon/Cancer rising). He doesn’t like fighting. But we now have a 4 normal days, 2 really good days, 1/2 day fight 1/2 day make up schedule. That’s pretty intense. (But we just moved in together and have a lot going on). I hope to get to the 6-8 weeks point. That would be a relief!
By the way, Luci, I can relate to everything you said! We bicker too, and I thought it was healthy, but now I’m realizing it’s a lead up to a blow up. So we’re working on some better communication!
I have Aquarius Mars in the 8th and lots of Sag. I think isthmus said it best – if I’m not being direct and/or honest with you it’s because I don’t think it’s worth the effort. It usually takes a lot to REALLY get me mad.
But I have Mars sq. Pluto so when I do get mad… let’s just say it’s not pretty. 🙂 I’ll get over it in 10 mins unless you’ve disrespected me in the fight.
sag mars in the 12th conj asc, trine jupiter, sq uranus/pluto & widely sq, saturn in aries.
mellow mellow mellow – hey I feel weird I think I’m getting kind of “irritated” I think – lonnng fuse –
then ka-boom freaking medusa anger & smoking ruins and back to – mellow mellow mellow
or (three days later) “hey! I think that person was insulting me.” LOL
I want to clarify that I do not I get physical….I get frustrated because he would avoid an argument, discussion, fight, and my waves come in the form of questions, words, wanting answers to questions and just getting him to engage with me. I don’t normally start fights…Libra Moon, but I tend to go along with things until I can’t take much more….
denamaria – i have mars in cancer and my bf has mars in virgo. great description!…soooo true that when he genuinely gets mad, i back off!
while my mars in cancer wants to stay mad sometimes, i just can’t do it. sometimes when i’m trying to give someone the cold shoulder afterwards, i’ll just look at them and start laughing…because i realize how ridiculous i’m being…but simultaneously i’m a little annoyed at myself for laughing/giving in! not sure where this comes from – sag moon? mars trine uranus? mars sextile saturn? (it’s usually only with those who are really close to me)
hahahahahaha jilly!
Love the video and the example. 😀
Mars in Capricorn. It takes me approximately 5 days even to realize that I’m mad. Then (Sun Scorpio) watch out!! Fortunately, my Moon in Virgo keeps me from waterboarding you.
Mars in Aries here v Mars in Leo…We have had one raised voice argument in 4 years and that was over me not getting my own way and him not realising lol
I tend to explode quickly then calm down just as quickly and he never explodes. Can be quite frustrating! I think I look for a fight that isn’t actually there. He just rolls his eyes at me. Then I’ll ignore him for a while then when I speak again he’ll be “Oh so you’ve calmed down now” Grrrr! Sometimes I want him to yell at me!
Wooooow, now YOU guys know your astrology. Finding a connection with it and your daily lives – in this case, your relationships and approach to fighting and assertiveness. Anyways, I’ve got a Sun and Mars in Leo with a Venus in Cancer. Neptune in my 1st House hides my fiery tendencies and enhances my watery Venus. As for fighting, I don’t do it often, and I’m not impulsive. However, when put in a situation where I DO have to fight, I’m not the type to back down, plus, in shouting matches I’m pretty loud. lol.
Mars in Virgo here. I generally will go out of my way to avoid a fight. My SO though is a Mars in Scorpio, he also is an avoider, but not because he isn’t angry but because he won’t let it out. It is an issue of being in control of everything. When he is genuinely angry it takes a long time for he to get over it.
One ex’s Mars in Cancer drove my Aries Mars nuts! The Aries believes its been all aired and cleared out while Cancer still mulls over it privately and eventually regurgitate it side ways so that Aries does not even see it coming.
With one Sag. Mars, as he could usually point out how puny it was in the big picture (I’ve got Sag also) we would end up making fun and laughing pretty hard. 🙂 We’d end up pretending we were Italians having a dramatic passionate argument with big gestures and copious insults almost like a contest and be exhausted from laughter in the end.
With one Mars in Aries ex, it would be frequent and over in 15 min.
Mars in Scorpy, H5/6.
@ Jilly, LOLOLOL!!! I know that exact feeling!! Hahahaha, I can’t stop laughing it rings so true. So glad I’m not the only one!
I’ve got a steep learning curve when it comes to figuring out when someone’s treated me poorly. When I do, I frequently take it personally. LoL, I take everything personally, though (Cancer ASC conj. Moon H1.)
On the flip side, if someone does something rude or inconsiderate unintentionally, or with good intentions, I almost never pick it up. My friends will look at me aghast and say “…You’re going to just sit there and take that?!” And I’ll be like, “Take what?” *blink blink* (Moon op. Neptune, conj. DC).
My anger is usually expressed as sadness. When someone disappoints me or lets me down, I just feel really sad. Tears don’t usually come, but they probably should, LoL.
I definitely have a long fuse, but when there is a repeated ‘offence’ that isn’t/can’t be resolved, that’s when I’ll lose it. My sharp tongue is definitely my one of my biggest weaknesses. And I don’t always mean it; I just need a valve for the built up steam to escape from (Mars op. Jup.)
But oooooh, don’t you mess when it comes to the really important issues. When the rubber hits the road, I am an unmoveable force. Calm, collected, and ready to protect what counts come hell or high water. (Mars sext. Merc, and obviously all the protective Cancer influences.)
Thanks for reading, guys!! This is my first post, and I’ve learned so much about my own chart from telling you guys about it! I think I’m going to do this more often. =)
**Elsa, thanks for leaving your light on! I’m always glad to come here.
@ Elsa
Thanks, Elsie! You are a hostess with the mostess, always giving your guests personalized attention and making us feel welcome.