One way to handle today’s sky is just to cop…. to your jealous (Venus Pluto) feelings, that is. I can tell you firsthand it’s enormously liberating when this stuff (that acts like the Hydra), gets air. The soldier availed himself of this recently:
“I used to hate it when he called you, Bean,” he said. He was talking about the AMF. I used to write about him on my other blog which the soldier read silently for three years.
“Why did it bother you?” I asked. I was pretty sure I knew but asked to make sure.
“Oh, I hated it when he said that. I just didn’t like it is all. Made me punch things a few times.”
I laughed. “But why? What is wrong with, Bean?”
“I just don’t want anyone calling you a pet name except for me. I don’t care if it was a different time, I still hate it. I hate the sound of it, of that word and now I have a cup of coffee and it has that word right on it. My coffee cup says bean on it and if I’d have known it was going to be there, I’d have gone without coffee.”
I snorted. “Uh oh.”
“Yeah, I hate that. Bean. Bean. I’m just jealous, that’s all. And I’ll tell you this: If anyone ever comes up to me and asks me how’ Bean is doing, I am going to punch them right in the mouth. There! That’s how Bean is doing. Now so you want to ask me that again, or are you good?”
We laughed and I bet he feels better about the whole ordeal. 😉
Do you think copping to jealous feelings can alleviate them?
I think it is helpful to call a spade a spade and honesty rules. I’ve been focused on this the last bit and has been helpful…though it would be nice to take a deep breath and get out of the emo trenches for a bit. 🙂
for me it helps. it’s like (sorry) lancing a boil. you let the bad stuff out. I suppose whether or not it helps long term would have to do with whether or not the bad stuff keeps accumulating. it sounds like it’s a one-off deal for the soldier. I bet he continues to feel better about it since it’s not an on-going deal.
For sure.
It could sometimes be seen as endearing.
Yes, TOTALLY. Especially if you are the kind of person who feels ashamed about it!
I used to hide my jealous feelings til they built to a rage but found admitting to them gets better results, many men find it flattering and are more likely to reassure you.
Yes it helps. I never had to deal w/ that before. I guess just the humility of coming to the love object even if you say nothing. Most men understand it is b/c you don’t want to lose them. It can be a choice too you chose to be jealous because you’ve decided this person is worth it. You willingly give your love away because you want to and accept role of jealous lover ahh the role he wants you to play. All the world is a stage.