My husband reminds me how little people care. These are people in ‘caring” professions! The first time he explained this to me it was jarring but I’ve come to learn how right he is.
“They’re just doing their job,” he said. “They don’t care one whit what happens…”
Initially he sounded jaded. But as I got deeper involved, the truth of what he said was undeniable. Comprehending this has opened doors.
It is one thing so say you care. It’s another to actually have the emotion. I’m not judging this. There are people working in various fields who see so much crap, they’ve no choice but to shut down their feelings, in order to function. I strive to keep this mind when dealing with various systems because I actually do care and I always have.
I was a bartender from the time I was 15-23 years old. I cared about my customers so much so I became unable to do the job once I got old enough and sophisticated enough to see how destructive drinking was in their lives. When you want to tell your customers to go home, as soon as they walk in the door, it’s time to quit.
I care about my clients now and the people who read this blog. I care as a way of life and this is something I project.
I figure if I care, the other person must care. The fact is, often they don’t care at all. People care about things but they do not necessarily care about the things you care about or the things they say they care about. The next question is what do you do with the information?
I have Chiron in Pisces opposing Pluto . I think I own the Pluto and project my compassion on to humanity. I have survived via this mechanism. I have also been destroyed.
When you say you care about something, do you or is it just words or a function of being social?
So that is why I get so involved with the people I work with as customers? I also have Chiron opposing Pluto, and it’s ridiculous. My boss gets pissed off at me about it, but it’s just the way it is.
You don’t talk much about Chiron, Elsa. I wonder sometimes if having Chiron conj Saturn (in Pisces 7th) has anything to do with some of the stuff I crash against in this life. God knows I’ve got the wounds, but I don’t know how the hell to heal them.
I care, but probably not as much as I should. I’m not a bleeding heart type who prays for people. Also, I have been slowly drained of emotion over the last 12 years and there’s not a lot to give any more. I don’t know how nurses and the like do it.
I’m a nurse and I only work per diem–that’s how I do it!! And, in lower stress environments. Hospital nursing is the front line of burn out.
Based on my personal experiences, I’d have to disagree with the soldier. I think there are many people in this world who put themselves out there every day, and who care deeply about people even when it’s not recognized or appreciated. I also think there’s a wide range of emotion between “don’t give a shit” and “100% empathetic” and people in “caring” professions are like anyone else — they’ll range widely in between those two poles.
It’s a huge brush to paint people with, and I think in some ways you find what you look for, so if you’re expecting to people to just not care what happens…well, it’s very likely that’s what you’ll see. And it won’t matter that for every example of “not caring,” you might overlook a half dozen examples of care and compassion…if you’re not looking for it, you won’t see it.
This post reminds me of something I wrote to someone the other day. I go through my life making attachments (cancer sun). It’s not the same for everyone or even for most. They go thru their life with other priorities–
And I have found in the social services or other helping professions that people are more interested in control– than much else. Of course this was just my own experience and observation.
I prob care about my clients too much. It’s helpful for them maybe only up to a point– there are those who appreciate true caring and those who don’t even notice. It’s a low-vibrational world out there. But there are lights that light the way– like you Elsa, like others who comment here, you can tell.
I am a saturn trine moon person and transiting saturn is conjuncting my moon….
Caring is good but it’s the doing that really counts.
Carielle – you make a good point but in his defense, this is a very, very, very SUPER condensed version of a very, very, very BIG thing.
In the specific scenario where this advice was offered, he was absolutely right. If the brush is broad, it is mine. He is quoted as saying:
““They’re just doing their job, P. They don’t care one whit what happens…”
He is talking about a certain group of people doing a certain thing at a certain time… people I would have assumed “caring”.
This is sort of like someone saying, “I care about you…” in the process of trying to sell you something.
If someone tells me they care, i take them at their word, seee?
Here’s an example:
Someone wants me to give them $6700 so I can have a radio show because they care about me and want me to do well.
The $6700 in their pocket is no motivation, LOL.
Omg a radio show, with a high salary- what a great idea! Is the world ready? We have enough of Doc Joy Brown 😉
well I would kick ass on the radio, there is no doubt about that. Someone ever gives me a legitimate job, I will make them rich.
You know you could make podcasts and charge for them. Podcast-astro-call in show.
Humm. Astrology has never translated on the radio because it’s too esoteric and when someone is rattling off horoscopes you only want to listen to yours anyway. It has a lot of potential though and def. a niche market. Maybe something on Hay House could be a good start. You would need a demographic like ours….beyond the newbie stage.
A call in show would be wicked but you would need a way of doing charts almost instantly.
I wouldn’t do an astrology show. I would just be myself. People have told me to get on the radio since I was 19 and if it is meant to be, I am sure it will happen without me giving a salesman $6,700 because I am vain when I am not even vain.
I feel really bad this topic got hijacked. I thought it was important but I guess it doesn’t translate?
Fuck me with that Saturn in Virgo. It’s so hard to communicate I can’t believe it.
I would also like to leave the house without triggering people, I wonder if that could be arranged?
::smiles::
It appears I am in a mood.
i try not to say anything i don’t mean. sometimes social niceties seem to demand it and i end up in something of a bind.
so chiron in pisces = compassion/caring? I think Uranus is right on my Chiron/Uranus opp right now haha.
compassion is my religion , if you look at it very basically. it’s easy for me but the hard part is the wisdom part – knowing the difference between compassion and what is called “idiot compassion.”
I am so with you! I have chiron on my desc. opp. Urn. Natally and this current uranus/pluto longgggg transit has me reevaluating everything. Mid life? Maybe but I think it’s more. I’ve always been compassionate to a fault. I thought everyone deserved the consideration I feel I deserve. Wrong! My uncontrolled caring has often been to the detriment of myself. I still care but now am learning to guard against being taken for granted and/or displaying “idiot compassion”. I care for you but must also care for me. ☆
saturn in virgo is also kicking my communcation in the ass too elsa. I will be glad to see saturn move into a new sign!
I think it’s the Mercury retro that’s triggering all the saturn/virgo stuff too. I have a Virgo stellium and usually I never blame mercury retro for stuff but O.M.G. *enough already*!!!! I have made more mistakes in the last week than I have for over 6 months at work. Not acceptable.
I have jupiter conjunct chiron opp pluto in virgo. I think I really do care and also have the ability to help people however a lot of folks don’t listen to myh oh so wonderful advise. Like my brother who has a failing liver and I know I could get him better and have given him advise but he isn’t really hearing me. At that point as an example, I have to let it go. I can also seem aloof and uncaring but that isn’t the case. I tend to get mixed up with the wrong sorts of people too. Then I kick myself for being sympathetic to their cause. But the people who let me help them are well taken care of in the end and often appreciate it very much. The problem is that I have the ability to take care of things and multi task and make things happen with precise vision at times and its a little scary.
when my uncle was younger he dabbled in some drugs and unfortunately contracted hepatitis. fast forward about 40 years later he needed to have a liver transplant. when my mom met with his doctor his doctor said something like ‘well he brought this upon himself’…among about 7 other horrifying things that i don’t even remember now. my mother was appalled (my uncle had been clean for about 40 years). anyway, some doctors definitely have a god complex, which is even worse than ‘just doing your job’.
my ‘caring’ for people gets out of control. think its 6th house venus in leo, trine jupiter and in some ways like to think of myself as the very definition of generosity and want to be admired for how ‘caring’ or ‘giving’ i am. what happens in reality is that i’m taken advantage of (with my consent) time and time again, others feel like i’m overbearing and insisting that they accept my help or my offers fall flat because people don’t understand that i just like to be be caring.
Yeah, I do. I also found the work I used to do impacting my ability to be compassionate in general. I was becoming more jaded and cynical and disillioned and losing my faith in humanity. That’s why I don’t work in the social services anymore.
I have a feeling that a lot of people here may not have had negative experiences as a patient in the medical, psychiatric, or psychological professions. There are a lot of people who have very condescending and arrogant attitudes towards patients, and don’t know even how to listen and hear other people out properly.
Because I can’t edit: I blame much of this on training, and how passing a few tests are more important than the overall patterns of student behaviors.
Chiron in Pisces opposing Pluto here also. (w/ libra rising) it depends! It’s an integrity issue. Pisces Chiron really cares, might not say anything unless words are actually part of the caring. Just knows or intuits where the solution is, the pluto part can be super efficient and/or opinionated about it or controlling: it took me a while to learn to offer a choice, or wait till I am asked for advice or help or whatever. Compassion is also respecting people’s choice either way.
It’s tough one for a kid. can care too much or get sucked in. Idealistic. Be taken for a dark ride. Caring but being powerless about it. But figuring out beliefs are important & faith is powerful.
Chiron in Pisces opposing Pluto here too. Plus Neptune trining Chiron. I feel other peoples pain. Emotional, physical and psychological pain – the whole lot. Very difficult to deal with when I was younger. I care deeply for vulnerable people and animals. I am a psychic empath and have been a soft touch for others taking advantage. Yet have learnt to protect myself and gain stronger boundaries these days. I have never worked in the social services but have in the arts and education sectors.
Enabling people through teaching them their Human rights: respect, dignity, privacy, confidentiality and so on puts a positive, empowering angle on caring.
thanks guys .. Just checked in during a tea break while thinking about Chiron in Pisces opposite Venus Pluto and Uranus and there y’all are chatting about that very thing minus the Venus ..which is so insightful, all the while Elsa is asking if folk really do care in certain professions guess some do and they’re the ones who’ll have most struggles with the system and the higher stress levels.
Well, lots of people go IN to the helping professions with golden intentions and may be compassionate as all Hell. But after a few years working in the field, that can change. You take it home with you, you start to lose your mind after a while. You see people game the system and treat those trying to help with disdain and disgust. After a while, walls and detachment become a survival mechanism. Sompe do it for a really long time and manage to hold on to their compassion, but burnout and challenges abound when someone works in a daily onslaught of other people’s (serious) issues.
hey goddess, I have an old friend who is a nurse. she’s been a burn nurse in a busy crisis hospital. she has little real compassion but a very “nice” manner. as in, she seems compassionate, thinks she’s compassionate, but without having the bother of actually internalizing anyone else’s pain. she’s the PERFECT nurse. and thank maude for people like that.
You know, satori, that’s a great point. It really is an advanced skill to be able to do that without internalizing other people’s pain. I often felt like an emotional container, particularly with the intense encounters. I could do it better than a lot of people and remain intact, but it was draining as Hell.
Like Alison, I have Chiron in Pisces opposing Pluto in Virgo and trining Neptune in Scorpio. Not just that, Chiron is conjunct Saturn in Pisces in the tenth house; both are retrograde and oppose Pluto in the fourth. Saturn also opposes Uranus in Virgo in the fourth, which conjuncts Pluto (but is out of range for opposition to Chiron). I don’t know how to be anything but an empath. I take on people’s pain without even realizing it. I’ve got a lot of heavy energy in angular houses, and it’s always been overwhelming to handle. My Cancer sun adds to the sensitivity too.
You sound like a 65 kid raven. Is your cancer sun also trining your Saturn or Chiron to form a grand trine? And a kite by the Saturn Chiron opposition to Pluto and Uranus? This is my case scenario.
Regards
You got it exactly, The B. My Cancer sun trines both Saturn and Chiron. That’s a grand trine with Sun-Saturn-Chiron and Sun-Saturn-Neptune. The second one is very exact; all are at 17 degrees of the water signs. And yes, the grand trines make a kite to the Pluto-Uranus conjunction. Any tips on how to deal with all this heavy energy? It’s been a struggle my whole life.
Oops, mistake in last post. The grand trines are Sun-Chiron-Neptune and Sun-Saturn-Neptune.
I also have Chiron at 8 degrees Pisces opposite Pluto 8 degrees Virgo. However, my mars is also at 8 degrees Pisces and Mercury at 11 degrees pisces. Neptune is at 13 degrees Scorpio which trines the mars mercury conjunction, but i think Chiron need a tighter orb for this to count as a trine. Weird, i also have Libra rising.
Yes, I do care. I am a teacher. How can anyone not care? That’s what I don’t get.
I feel that the trick here is in harnessing the dual power of Uranus pluto conjunction in virgo in the 4th house. To contain is the key word. And to allow, knowingly… to wait, wait for the release upward, that I expect is taking place presently, than to move along towards the target in the tenth house which is becoming clear now. Be weary of grand delusion, however-to be a most effective medium for the healing energies seeking to anchor. And that is the issue: healing energy seeking to anchor if one could but hold still! Image an ancient warrior with the eyes gazing into the distant horizon,
As for taking on peoples pain, as you say, ask yourself, what does it serve me? Certainly it is no great service, rather a weakness of heart. It is much harder to endure in the face of pain than otherwise.
to anyone, least of all yourself. This is in the context of being useful, of course. Hope this helps:)
The B
How interesting. Because here’s me with Saturn in Pisces (conj. Chiron if it matters) and opposing Uranus and Pluto in Virgo, and training to be a nurse. I am a very caring person, and I will have to learn that happy medium between caring enough, (I’m a very caring person)and burning out because I’ve cared too much. People (instructors) like to give it fancy names, and say something like how we need to empathize rather than care. Whatever, call it what you like. I think it’s something you have to learn out there in the trenches, and prob get straight right quick so you don’t go down with the ship. I would like to be caring with everyone, but I’m not a complete innocent and know that I’ll have to be very careful of myself.
*Oops. Does everyone realize I’m a very caring person? lol. Can’t edit on here.
Yes, we do realize that about you, snap. 🙂
LOL Snap and you’re a very caring person. (I tease because I <3 you lots)
*blushes*
Lol, I didn’t realize until after I posted the first time that I wrote it twice. Sheesh.
Thing is, you can edit on the boards, so I forget to check here, where you can’t.
Awww, thanks. Okay, now stop.
I think I misunderstood your statement ,too. I am in a caring profession..giving out meds to people who are low income or indigent…but so many people lie, take advantage and have the idea they are entitled to anything they desire just because they are here…it turns me off. I have people who do need my services and cry and thank me and then I break down and cry with them .I do care., but being a pisces, I have had to learn to filter the bullshitters and let it rolll off me. As far as your meaning others wannting to help because they say they care about you? I would always think..What’s in it for them? no one does anything just to help someone else. only Mother Therea would do that.
I have chiron in aquarius…not sure I know what to do with it, or what it does to me..I let it be and it lets me be…although, it has been sitting conjunct my pisces moon at exact 11 degrees for some time now.
Sticking to the topic at hand would have been a great way of showing caring.
I guess I’m scatter-brained!
I am guessing ‘scatters brained’ is not one of your characteristics; it does after all take a lot of organising ability to maintain a busy blog like this. I regret my comment to the extent that it was terse and a bit antsy. I was trying to get at the point that I came to this post and discussion following a Web search for insight on the Chiron-Pluto transit (which is about to enter my life right now) but I found a scant amount of information about the aspect itself. C’est la Internet, I guess.
I understand. No hard feelings. 🙂
I have chiron in the 7th opposing uranus in the 1st. I have made the mistake, plenty of times, believing others cared as much as I did.
I have tried to find a way to ‘not’ care so much. Have not found a way to do it yet. It’s been my biggest problem through most of my life. Then, of course I get hurt. My husband has said over and over, expect nothing from these people you are dealing with so you are not crushed when you find them empty in the end. They don’t care about (insert the whatever thing) it as much you do. And, they never will. I have really had to pull back on the passion and compassion. Which is what is normally my driving force. And, without it I have much less steam. At this age its hard to find a way to do things another way.
I care in to my bones..also have Chiron opposite Pluto and Jupiter conjunct Chiron in Pisces.
I know about this lack of compassion – it breaks my heart over and over. I´m a cancerian!
To have compassion you have to be strong in spirit and soul. One friend once told me; people have nothing to give..But without compassion there is nothing..We will not survive as a species.
I tend to agree with the Solder that most people don’t actually care.
I’d say most people are acting out their baggage, trying to buy favour, or confusing caring with enabling. As your story about the bar tending shows Elsa, it was when you stopped the enabling that you really began to care.
You really can’t truly begin to care for other people until you know how to care for yourself. And in my experience there’s a lot of people who don’t really know how to do that.
I have this natally too Elsa (25 Virgo / 28 Chiron 5th house Pluto / 11 house Chiron) I cry a lot, I go to church a lot, I cry and sing there from my heart for all – dead, suffering alive. I support priests, nuns and parishioners in their work. Now my son has leukemia we are together in hospital. I have to do ‘nurse’ work since I am at his side 24/7. There is a difference – it’s their job, it’s my son’s life Or death. It’s tough but it’s my situation I’m supporting other parents and singing at church (crying and singing ? is very healing)this is my support. I’ve seen also true empathy and action on the part of doctors and nurses too.
I go to church when my husband stays with my son on short breaks. (almost 24/7)
I normally don’t comment, but this post struck a deep cord with me.
I spent a significant chunk of my twenties working in a funeral home, and, though I moved on to a different profession, I do regular volunteer work with a local hospic agency. (May be something to do with my Virgo sun in the twelfth? I don’t know.)
I see a lot of this skeptical attitude toward people who work in caring professions. It’s like, “How can I REALLY TRUST that you care?”
The people receiving care are looking for demonstrations of what they believe caring to be, and often such “demonstrations” are left entirely undefined… nebulous even to those looking for them.
I’m not saying being skeptical is a bad thing or that questioning another person’s motives is wrong. It is what it is.
I’m just trying to point out that it’s difficult to meet undefined expectations. And the goal post always seems to move with regard to how one “should” genuinely, appropriately express their emotions.
For someone who is sensitive, being repeatedly met with the “I lowkey think you don’t really care” response can mess with a person’s self worth.
That’s were boundaries come into the picture.
Elsa does point this out: “There are people working in various fields who see so much crap, they’ve no choice but to shut down their feelings, in order to function.”
I can attest to this. Sometimes the best thing you can do to care for a person is concentrate on the job you’re there to perform. You don’t have to be cold about it, but being swept up the other person’s emotions can prevent you from doing the job they hired you for. That’s a practical boundary.
Another boundary I created (thank you, Saturn return to second house Scorpio) is the understanding that caring, kindness, generosity, and gratitude are gifts.
They are not obligations (as I was raised to believe they were), they are gifts.
As such, no person can demand a gift from another. It has to be given of free will.
Being honest, working with this boundary will oftentimes throw my Libra Venus for a loop.
People-pleasing and caving into someone else’s demand of my kindness, generosity, or gratitude is not truly helpful – to me or them.
(BTW, I also feel the need to point out that, in my experience, those who often demand kindness and gratitude are the same people I hear complaining about how others don’t care as much as they do. That’s not caring, that’s instigating a power struggle.)
Furthermore, I believe once a gift is given the responsibility for that gift passes to the recipient as well. How someone does or does not use my gift of kindness, generosity, or gratitude is on their conscience, not mine.
Having this psychological boundary in place provided me a way to nurture and protect my self worth, which in turn bolsters my ability to do the work I think I’m meant to do on this planet: serve others, with love.
(many thanks again, Saturn return to second house Scorpio)
Meant, “hospice agency.” Geez, Mercury retrograde.
If this was Facebook, I would give you a thumbs up.
Great HannahRT, well said. I’ve chiron in pisces trine Neptune in Scorpio, opposite pluto in virgo. I get all your saying. ?