Dealing With Psychopaths Because You Have No Choice


It’s a bit risky to publish this but here goes. When Pluto went into Aquarius I realized I had access to psychopath-thinking. Why this surprised me is anyone’s guess, considering my childhood and really, the whole of my life.

Some had a bad reaction to this. I guess if I get tagged as a psychopath, it can join the very large pile of other misdiagnoses.

This is from the Colosseum – the Blood & Guts class.

“…I sound like a psychopath around this, I know. I am no such thing but I’m finding that when forced to deal with those who are, grabbing perspectives that might have come from the psychopaths I have known, has merit. 

It’s just time to quit acting like everyone is nice and upright.  At some point it becomes, fight fire with fire…”

I’ve been pussy-footing around this for months. If you doubt me, click the tag and read the recent Pluto in Capricorn posts.

We’re to the point, where denying there are evil people out there; more of them than you think, is foolish and dangerous. If this is the case, you’re better off to understand them. How else are you going to deal with them?

And it’s not like they’re wearing a tag! You have to spot what you’re dealing with! Instead people point at me while the real psychos laugh. If you doubt me, from 2007…

Have you ever had to deal with a psychopath, one on one?  Tell us about it.

Photo credit. “Psychopathic Laboratory” by Psychology Pictures is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

28 thoughts on “Dealing With Psychopaths Because You Have No Choice”

  1. Well said! Too many well-meaning folks who bend over backwards to give the benefit of the doubt are in denial. That rationalization or tolerance just helps to normalize evil and enables it to spread.

  2. Sadly, I think it is a necessity to be candid about this and to learn and be prepared. One difficulty, which you have touched upon in your own stories is how popular psychopaths can be, so in a way, it’s not just one person you might be going up against, but a whole group, structure or system that supports them. In challenging the psychopath, you are immediately in danger of their mob, of being attacked and ostracised by the wider collective encircling them, who do so in order to gain security, status, identity and power by association. On one level, we find this commonly in families.

    1. I’m glad you’re on to this. If you read my Juvie Guy story, it was typical. I had to just stand there and watch the women be enthralled. I escaped all that as a teenager and now I had to look at this all day, every day. It’s unfathomable. There is just no way to break through.

      If I ever did break through, it would take years more, to break through the next layer… there are a lot of layers!

      I’m pretty sure it’s going to be this way the rest of my life. I’ve pretty much assimilated this, opting to just walk away.

  3. Some people still naively believe that in order to be diagnosed as a psychopath, you need to be carrying an axe. Wrong. White collar psychopaths are everywhere. The one’s I’ve had to deal with appear very charming on the surface. They have been master manipulators and very callous.
    A couple of signs to look out for are a lack of empathy and zero anxiety. The psychopaths that have high IQ’s will fake these qualities but those that are familiar will be able to spot these subtleties/discrepancies.
    It is important that people are aware that these people exist amongst us and to be aware. Most are not clinically diagnosed but this does not mean they don’t exist.

  4. what i like knowing now is that psychopaths if you google and search, they have been deemed lower IQ or low intelligence overall. Their charm is what gets people, due to being “pretend nice” to get what you want. There’s a motive because they know being nice gets one around. it was weird that many people thought they had high intelligence, but their brain has been damaged and the frontal part is lacking the empathy, guilt, and anxiety and fear. I notice alot of sensitive emotional people have alot of anxiety. They fear alot about the future and feel fear and guilt. Which is an asset, knowing they are good people and have conscience. cruelty and no guilt over hurting others is psychopathic.

  5. I know a few sociopaths (the stage before psychopath) I find them chilling in their charming lack of empathy. The ones I know are in the spiritual community and pose as healers and teachers. Eek.As a Scorpio rising I have been fascinated by these types yet also have been burned by them. I know can recognize that vibe and steer clear.

  6. Hi Elsa and thanks for touching on this subject. I was wondering how would a Saturn square Chiron affect those people, would it bring them down on their knees or would it pass through them like a breeze because they feel no empathy, fear or anxiety? Next year will be such a transit to the psycopath in my family.. I was praying and hoping for a strong divine hand to crush them with karma..

    1. I’m not sure exactly what you’re looking for here. Brought to their knees and transformed by the experience? Never.
      Have a bad transit? Sure.

      1. Thanks Elsa. I have re-checked, he will have Chiron square Saturn and Neptune opposite Midheaven.. I guess we’ll see if he’ll transform or commit suicide. He has no one left in his life except some shady individuals like himself..

  7. I was married to a psychopath. I am very much aware of the evil in this world. Exposed to it at a young age. It’s very easy for me to spot a psychopath.

  8. I dated a therapist and he was clearly fucked up… I don’t know how bad, bud he fucked me up too, so I am perfectly aware that the most dangerous ones are the persons you trust who are sitting there to help you – and yet, you have this odd feeling that something is “off”.
    Because those types are certainly very often in clever disguise as therapists, healers and other types of “helping” or “service” kind of people.

    If I get that feeling with someone, I will run, better safe than sorry.

    I remember my ex having a patient he was to diagnose, and it was so incredibly clear to me (when he told me about it), that the patient was a psychopath. I tried to tell him, but my BF just thought he was narcissistic. I guess it’s because he was the same, so it probably felt familiar to him.

    This is a classic case.
    I shudder to think about how others in other positions go about this, if they are truly a psycho.

    1. I recently heard a sad story but it bears all the classic marks:

      A waiter, who is attractive, winds his way into a very successful reataurateur family–the girl he married is lovely, the family is lovely; it’s a restaurant I frequent often enough to know the family somewhat and they all come from good stock, with integrity.

      How I became aware of him is one day I go there, Waiter (“W”) is on duty, greets AND FLIRTS with me so hard I had to laugh to myself that he prob. thought I was an old dame with buckos. Ha!

      Cut to pandemic, one day lovely girl shows left hand, saying “we’re engaged!” My inner thought was “OHHHhhhhhh…no”–I did not even know they were going out! And I frequent the joint often enough I likely would have seen something but pandemic time so maybe not…I had interacted with him fairly often as well and it was pleasant enough but I always detected something underneath the surface.

      Cut to one day I’m there and she shares she’s pregnant BUT THEY HAVEN’T TOLD HER PARENTS YET…

      Cut to they are granted their own restaurant to run (and apparently had some financial control over others in their portfolio) but within not even 6 months it’s shut down by the father because they were supposed to pay the bills for all the restaurants they own but weren’t(?), they were given a second chance but instead did something else skeevy involving money, so now the couple has gone to Vegas (no irony there) and there are lawsuits going back and forth.

      Side note: Another waiter there, with whom I have chatted frequently and who has worked with the family and W at other reataurants, shared a story of a prior theft he suspects the guy of due to weird placement of security cam at one of the venues… Anyway, he mentioned something that is RIGHT THERE in this scenario (as I perceive it) — said that when the girl got pregnant, W said (talking about the father) “let’s see how he’ll feel once he finds out I got his daughter pregnant”…REAL primal weinie-wagging territory! Like CLASSIC macho crap. This guy is in serious running for Toxic Narcissist of the Year. As bad as all the financial stuff is, I fear he will break the girl’s heart, even though for the time being she’s Bonnie to his Clyde.

      He reminded me physically and vibe-ally of someone who did a similar thing to me(not the acts but in many ways the gravity of betrayal could be equated to this scenario in my mind), and funny how that is; I guess moral of the story is the criminal element will use love and/or kindness to gain access in order to destroy…I guess this is the part where Wise EE likely will have some insight…

  9. I came across a lot of this during my four year stint in veterinary medicine. It’s not like I was surprised, but I was home for 18 years and managed to avoid most people by choice.

    It’s also not surprising that some of these gravitate towards the medical field. Any of the “helping” professions attract them, for the wrong reasons, but the system rewards them…

    I think these kinds don’t like me because I’m neurodivergent. I don’t fawn all over them or bow down to their exceptional whatever. I’m well aware part of my trouble in this field was the way my weird brain works, plus the training I got was subpar. But there’s definitely more to it. I suspect this was the reason. I was there to truly help and serve. They were feeding their egos or not-selves or whatever, and I could see through them. Boom. It’s just not working out. No reason given. It happened too many times to be a one off.

    Right now I’m waiting for a new job to start and reflecting on the whole thing. I’m reminded why I’ve avoided most people since I was young.

    1. Maybe a brainstorming session of possible veterinary-adjunct career? You provide a service “to” vets/pets or, based on your experience and training, develop some service related to it that is maybe an underserved niche?

      1. That’s along the lines of where I think I should go next.

        The veterinary clinic environment just isn’t for me. The ratio of good clinics to bad isn’t worth looking for another good one.

        1. Glad I was on the same wavelength! Yes, I have had my issues with “groupthink.”

          Maybe an idea for an app, something novel…where that lovely brain of yours thinks outside the normie box…maybe depends on Uranus/Aquarius(but presently beyond my Astrowisdom!)

          1. I’m definitely not about groupthink or expecting to know who someone is when I first meet them. I met a lot, and I mean a lot, of people like that.

            It was the kind of thing where the “normies” would talk about how wonderful someone was 🤢. They’d walk into the room and not introduce themselves. I thought, well OK, who are you? Why should I care? And with Aries rising, I don’t have to say a word, and they know. Then they’d come up with ways to get even with me. This was so stupid, but true to the type. They were fighting with someone who didn’t even want to engage them.

            I withdraw more with each passing year. For good reason, too.

            1. Yes! “Stupid,” for sure. A lot in this vein came up in Elsa’s last class. I withdraw as well. I just don’t feel the need to waste precious energy with these people and I do think that is a classic element–that you don’t engage. That is what they want. No surprise the word “disruptor” is classified as a good thing now…unfortunately, it’s those who “should” be disrupted from their doings that arent and who espouse disruption for its own sake.

  10. My next oldest sister fell from a tree on her head and was knocked out when she was a kid, and I think that helped her become a psychopath. She constantly tried to cause my demise by abandoning me places, luring me into dangerous situations, etc. I remember her sending me out to the middle of the cul-de-sac with a metal umbrella in a lightening storm, and then going crazy laughing and anticipating my death from inside the window. I have a photo where she lured me into a deep river and then ran away- I didn’t swim. The police stopped her and her friend on bikes because I was left running behind her crying when my mom told her to take me to the store with her- it was just daily abuse.

  11. Interesting: found a forum on the site about Pluto Opposite Chiron/Moon and I have that as did many on that thread (can’t copy it here but it relates somewhat to this topic). It is generational but how many have it jusxtaposed just so? I can think of 2 people born close to me (1 one week before and one 3), whom I would argue are about as evil as it gets.

    It has gradually been occurring to me that if you are an inherently caring person, yet constantly find yourself “attacked,” if you will, by those who would do so JUST BECAUSE you vibe high frequency, it is actually enlightening to try to be compassionate (Elsa also suggested this as a solution in her own words; if I mischaracterized this please correct me!), such that it expands your good vibiness even more due to expansion of consciousness…is that a satisfying word salad?!😂

    1. I don’t remember my own words, but at this point in time, I am really, really, really trying to be kind to everyone for a number of reasons, though they can be summed up like this: People are suffering!

      So I will go out of my way to be as nice as possible… but if you keep coming and just want to dog me, or if I ask you directly to stop contacting me or bothering me and you cross my boundary, that’s the line.

      I think people believe I am not supposed to express my feelings (like anger), because I have this blog. Basically, they think I am a waitress they can bitch at and abuse. But in reality, I am a bartender and I’ve been at it since I was 15. Piss off the bartender – get 86’ed… as it should be!

      So yes to compassion but no to doormat. This is the Saturn Neptune way!

  12. Nothing wrong with strong feelings- it is human. It seems to me you are patient (very patient) You are a healer. You are a medial woman too.
    You are also the boss of this site, but you are not an autocrat.
    There are a variety of opinions expressed here at eslaelsa– a very rare thing these days. You know l am not a Christian, but didnt Jesus once say: There are too many…
    Take care of yourself. I mean that.

  13. not sure if its psychotic behavior but it feels like it – Im dealing with a narcistic Mother who for the past 25years is a constant source of anguish in mine and my sisters’ life! She is so self-loathing – she parents with guilt and a victim mentality (and Im 52 and she’s 70) it’s so disturbing as Im the total opposite. Ive been at the brunt of her cruel, vicious verbal attacks the past two weeks even though Ive created boundaries – all this came about just because my Mother in-law (an 80-year-old woman) decided not to come to a family event – she is taking it personally and is taking it out on me! so screwball! LML!!

    1. Oof, I’m sorry for this. I get it, as my dad (89) has some similarities. His health is failing and I’m spending alot of time with him as his caregiver. I watch him purposely develop “stories” to tell people to get them to react, just for kicks. I’m beginning to doubt my own mental facilities, having been raised with this. I think about how my sisters and I grew up and think, what a shame. No wonder the sisters won’t even hardly visit or call him. So now I’m learning boundaries, too. It’s not easy.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Scroll to Top