CArRiE linked an old post about my life long friend, Leon for her pick of the day. Leon is a Libra but he has his Moon, Mercury, Venus and Saturn in Scorpio. My friend, Ben is a Scorpio and my husband has Moon, Neptune in Scorpio and all three of these men told me I could write anything I damned wanted to about them with very few rules.
Ben – no restriction
Leon – no picture
My husband – no picture / no name
That’s it.
I think this is extraordinary as Scorpio is such a private (some say secretive) sign. It illustrates that the three men trust me but I think what it really illustrates is they trust themselves.
They trust their own ability to suss out my motives, my character, and whether or not they can trust my judgment and in my mind this is what separates the Scorpios you want to know from the Scorpios you don’t.
A Scorpio who has no trust for anyone, anywhere is a scary character in my mind. Basically, their obsession with the possibility of being betrayed consumes them and maybe those of you who know something about that can tell us about it in the comments.
I’ve got Scorpio Rising/Moon/Neptune. I’m not naturally distrustful, but do admit that I’m wary and will definitely be paying attention. I will give the benefit of the doubt, but believe me, if I smell a rat, that is that. Very few second chances (and that even would most likely require that we be related).
I actually do have to work at this, but I realized a long time ago, that if I went around being paranoid and suspicious of people all the time, I would likely miss out on some very cool people (and stories)! 😉
Indeed. Don’t want to be a thread killer again, but recently screwed over for the umpteenth (and absolutely last) time by the Scorpio Sun/Mercury/Venus/Jupiter/Neptune (all but Neptune in his 7th house) who haunted my life for the better part of the last two decades.
Maybe it’s lack of trust, but to me he is simply the world’s biggest jerk.
OUCH! Sorry orangie!
I start out trusting, then start getting a bit paranoid if people start to mess with me in anyway. Then I retreat and hang in the shadows to see what they are trying to do. If that initial “trust” I put out doesn’t prove to be taken seriously, I will pull back and you either won’t see me again in the same light or you will notice that the wall of ice has gone up. I never start out with mistrust, suspicion or scruitiny.
Agreed, a Scorpio unwilling to trust is a scary creature. There’s a quote attributed to Hemenway which I like, ” The best way to tell if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”
It is my experience with a scorpio man I know that he becomes so paranoid that he creates negative thoughts which are felt as negative energy and then you feel as though you can’t trust him so he is setting himself up with disappointment because sooner or later there is this energy battle that ensues causing this outright tense essence of who will screw who first and damage that trust. Although this is not your intention, but you begin to put up this guard that grows thicker. It is a mind boggling cycle of anticipated power struggle. It is like he sabotages his relationships because he would rather be right that he can’t trust. In the end eliminating each person one by one.
i trust my judgement of people more than i trust my hedgement of myself.
but i’ve had to learn what to pay attention to as far as my gut goes.
and i have extreme difficulty stepping far enough away to see myself properly. i tend to underestimate myself. but i’m not good at seeing it happening until after the fact.
all the scorpios i know trust a very small group of people. haven’t met one that didn’t seem to trust anyone since high school. and wow. yeah, i can see the difference.
i have more issue with geminis who don’t trust anyone. it seems more common. in my experience.
(/not scorpio, much, but significantly 8th house)
My experience with a Scorpio man… told me I was the only person he let in his inner sanctum and did not betray him. Sometimes I have felt his fear and as if some part of him, based on some old pattern, was tempting me to create that… to fulfill his pattern of trusting and being betrayed. I got really close to doing that when I felt like he betrayed and hurt me in a way, but the trust between us feels much better and more rewarding than the momentary satisfaction of revenge through betrayal. He has been very generous with his trust in me, and I feel like he has truly earned trustworthiness from me.
i know a few people with heavy scorpio with trust issues. hear their story and you wouldn’t blame them one bit.
i love scorpio. and i am grateful they like me back, because they enrich my life.
I am a Scorpio and very cautious by nature. I tend to trust my instincts of weather to get to know a person or not. If I choose to get to know more about one person or over another it is because the person I have chosen to know better has not set off any internal alarms. Therefore the chosen person has exhibited trust worthy gestures (let the probing begin). I rarely have ever been sorry for listening to my instincts. The only time I have ever been sorry is when I didn’t listen to my inner voice.
I know a couple of Scorpio Sun women like that – they are intensely loyal and supportive even of old friends who are no longer part of their lives, one of them in particular. Nobody is ever turned away from her house either (and her credit card is always maxed out!). The Scorpio men I know are more private esp about their private lives, but I don’t know any with that paranoid mindset – someone like that simply wouldn’t be part of my life. I’m very open and I find people who aren’t very difficult to have as friends, let alone close friends
””The best way to tell if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”
I like this quote (and Julian’s insights generally), but I have to say it sounds like a dangerous way to find out. Only saying cause I pretty much literally lived by the quote for a while and got all sorts of burned. I was probably doing it wrong =P Of course I extracted my lessons like a good little capricorn, but jeeez I’d love to go back in time and be more…sensible, if I could.
In short, I’m in a weird place with trust right now I suppose.
The point, if I may, is that you will get burned. The question is… can you heal?
Thank you for posting that quote, Julian. I very much needed that today. 🙂
Ahh, I dig it, I knew I was just missing something..
elsa, this must be one of the most penetrating, succinct insights i’ve read on scorpio to date.
i’m a scorpio rising with only saturn in scorpio (and no other water signs in my chart).
my childhood was full of scorpio themes and events. i felt lucky to have been spared the troubles i witnessed in other people’s lives. i also felt guilty. i was convinced my time would come and i would be destroyed.
well my time did come. many things in me and around me were destroyed. and the shift i made, to trust MYSELF, and to realize that everytime i’ve trusted myself i’ve pulled through (whether i was 5 years old or 15 etc).
and since then destruction has been a very *constructive* force in my life.
thanks, elsa.
Elsa – I’m so thankful for these blogs about scorpios lately, because I’m finally (after many many years) understanding and appreciating my own behavior. With Scorp Rising/Mars/Neptune, I’m “fiercely” private… it’s not that I don’t trust, but I discern who I share things with because I’m incredibly private. So for me, that is the issue as I value other people’s privacy as much as mine and would never divulge another’s secrets.
You may all laugh… but it’s very difficult for me to post “anonymous” comments here!! I really truly struggle with this. I would never have a facebook account or post pictures on-line… my family thinks I’m weird. Thanks to you, I realize it’s just the scorpio in me!
Wow – this thread is so ‘on point’ for this Scorp Sun/Mercury and ….sigh….Venus woman.
Just met a lovely Leo man after 4 years in the emotional hinterland i.e. singledom. I’m struggling with my ‘monsters’ i.e. trust and rejection issues. I always start out being 100% trusting but then the ‘ghosts of relationships past’ start manifesting and the possibility of rejection becomes almost overwhelming. Guess when you’re almost 40 and had enough ‘interesting’ relationships involving being screwed around by at least 2 men then you have to deal with this ……. ;-(
Having said this i do consider myself an ’emotional warrior’ and will carry on chugging up that hill like the little engine that could. And I always remember my ‘phoenix’ energy as a Scorpio……we may burn but we always rise a more improved and wiser bird through these experiences.
Carrie
ah, yes, julian, important to note. one reason taurus is kind of a natural complement- they’re very sturdy. and life around a scorpio can be highly charged. it has its pros and cons for sure 😉
My fiance is a Leo, Moon Scorpio, Cap Rising, Mercury and Venus Cancer, and he is a hand full but I would trust him with my life and I love him unconditionally since I’ve seen him in action and how he treats me. I’m now stepping up to the plate willing to help out his daughter and grandchildren …never thought I would do this at this later stage of my life but feel it’s time I became less selfish,guess that’s what love is all about! Thank you Elsa for all your work and wisdom in our behalf!
I am Scorpio and I don’t trust anyone. Everyone is a let down and a liar
Welcome, Josh.
I’m a Cancer woman dating a Scorpio man. We’ve been together for 5 months now and currently live together. I thought that everything I read about Scorpio males was an exaggeration until “D” and I moved in together. It’s never a dull moment. LoL His trust issues seem to be a huge obstacle. He’s told me that in his 38 years, he’s only been in love twice…his (soon-to-be ex-wife) and myself. Of the two, he admitted that the connection we have is by far stronger and deeper than the one with his ex. The question I have is this…besides the jealousy issues he has (I’ve read that is common in Scorpio males), he also assumes that at some point I’m going to screw him over or cheat on him. (He and his ex couldn’t conceive so she ran off with another man and got pregnant on purpose.) I asked if I’d ever given him a reason to believe that I would and he said,”No, but it’ll happen eventually.” I don’t cheat…never have, never will. How do I get this thru to him??
I would reassure him but do not run yourself ragged trying to prove your loyalty. Tell him to cut the bullshit, you’ve given him no reason to be suspicious.
I’m a Scorpio moon and don’t trust anyone but I will respond to common sense and someone getting fed up as long as my instincts aren’t screaming get away from a person. You could also make the observation that his suspicion of you makes you wonder if you should be suspicious of him. Turn it back on him and see how he likes being interrogated.
If he’s an evolved Scorpio I think he’ll love that you stood up to him.
that is so true! it’s about trust, they trust you to write whatever you want because they trust your judgement, and those few rules are very good imo, especially on the internet.the only thing is that other women may like the way you talk about your husband, cause he sounds so awesome, and then want to copy you so in hopes to get a man like that? but what works for one person isn’t the same as for another (different love styles, currency) all types of great men in different placements, just have to find your style.