Hook-up Culture – Sex vs Commitment

taurus bull barcinoSex is  easy to find these days. Commitment is almost impossible to find. My kids are bucking this trend. I’m glad because I think it’s a best path to a happy life.

Basically, you invest in someone and they in you.  The value of the relationships grows over time, like putting money in a bank. This can’t happen if there is no relationship.

My daughter (25 years old)  said this is why she dates outside her age range. She says her peer group is all about the hook-up culture.  She’s wanting something else.

It used to be much harder to have sex, for men, in particular. It’s easy now but what eludes people is relationship that is contained, solid and lasting.

Do you think Uranus in Taurus might reverse this trend? Or will it insure the trend where love is temporary if not flat-out fleeting?

28 thoughts on “Hook-up Culture – Sex vs Commitment”

  1. My son was born July 1995, very close to your daughter in age.
    He has lived with his girlfriend who is 2 yrs. younger for a
    few years now.

    He started dating a great friend of his in high school, their
    senior year. I had a big house at the time, due to circumstances
    I knew of at here house I invited her to move in with us. She
    and my son shared a room and a bed, they worked at the same grocery store and went to prom together. She is now married to a nice guy.

    I think social media has made it easier to hook up, but I believe that marriage is on the decline based on financial issues of today and not because of desire to do so. I think it has more to do with the legal implications of taking on another’s debt as a married couple, child support issues and student loans among other factors.

  2. To amend my above response, my son tells me that he is the one
    who pays the bills. His girlfriend pays her share, but her paycheck is tiny compared to his. I do believe that is a major reason why he won’t marry her. I have been begging him to marry her since I first met her. She is a gem of a person, and I told him she will give him more as a partner than she can financially.

    1. Avatar

      Hmm, that’s so tough Sherry. I’ve been in a similar situation, but as the one without a typical income. Maybe it’s different from your son & his GF’s situation though. I got so much pressure from my ex-partner to do work that was going to hurt me in the long-term. He was just someone who valued a professional job & income. Unfortunately, this seemed cause him to not see me as an equal. So I had to leave.

      I wonder though if we can find a way to marry anyway, even though times are tough. Value what cannot be measured with a large income. So many of us are struggling. Does that mean we will be forever alone?

      Are we only accepted based on what number we can bring in? Yes, money & stability is important, but so is love. So, is caring about others. Our unquantified service to others. Maybe this is what Uranus in Taurus is going to ask.

    2. That’s so sad. My husband pays all the bills and I stay home with the kids. Does he have any desire to play that role?

      The way our culture has glorified money and possessions over family has had such a detrimental affect on our younger generation.

  3. Uranus in Taurus = changing values? Seems like earth (Taurus) quake (Uranus) after earthquake in my life right now. Maybe people will have less relationships (friends and romance included) overall until they begin to stabilize themselves? Could be a good thing (big picture wise) for the future of how we relate and how we value our relationships with ourselves and each other.

  4. The Pluto in Scorpio generation is marrying and having kids.. although maybe they resent being a boring family archetype (I just started watching JG Quintel’s Close Enough.) It’s not that easy for me or my friends to get sex and people don’t typically text me ‘wyd’ so I can’t relate to that

    1. About the Pluto in Scorpio generation, my experience with the girl kids I knew in that gen is that they were very open and vocal about labelling the boy kids who were what they called ‘players’. I am not saying they did not imbibe those young men but they knew what it was and if there was nothing else going on, enjoy. Right?

      And now that they are older, they look forward to kids. I don’t see them being bored with their relationships and having kids. They are builders. But then again, the ones I know are saturn square pluto in scorpio. Enough hardship, that normal is not boring but a relief?

      1. Are relationships boring anyway? I just don’t know. I do know millennials are labeled ‘slacktivists’ and I don’t want to do that. Also gen z is right that we took way too long to grow up and find our way.

  5. I watched some video about how virtual reality waifus are the future and that “women will be replaced” (something called Projekt Melody).. idk it could be partly a joke, but Pluto in Aquarius is coming

    1. Avatar

      Or wannabe f*ckboys. Ugh.

      Getting it is not what makes one “powerful” or “valuable”. Trying to look for the ones that are first and foremost know they are a human being with no “manliness” to prove. And look for acceptance within myself too.


  6. I have seen many Pluto in Scorpios commit, getting married and buying homes. My generation, Pluto in Libra have had ups and downs and seem to take time to get it right (more than one marriage) as they are searching for self in the mirror of relationships in order to evolve.

  7. I don’t know but I hope it encourages commitment. People often don’t realize how much they need a real commitment until their 30s, and sometimes it’s too late for them, which isn’t something anyone wants to hear. But I believe we are generally meant to commit young. We just hear the wrong messages and don’t do that. Those who do are fortunate, and deservedly so.

  8. I think there was a lot of social engineering involved in that trend and most trends. There’s always a group of people that defy that junk and do what feels natural, but is there enough to buck the force that is mass manipulation? If it was an organic and natural trend, I’d be able to guess. I know that if certain people had their way, we would not form any meaningful connections with anybody and they’ve made a lot of headway in that direction, that’s undeniable. So, I guess it depends on what else these mass manipulators have in mind, and how gullible the people continue to want to be.

    1. I agree too. When I was single in my early 40s I caved to social pressure and did internet dating. I did have a short relationship from it but realised that the majority of people on these sites think they want a relationship but unconsciously do not and you quickly encounter these blocks. This may have been my issue too as I felt I should be dating but maybe deep down was not ready. Afterwards I made a pact with myself that I would meet someone naturally and in fact this happened twice. It took a lot of patience and trust in myself and universe which the culture I was in did not support. It turned out well though.

      1. “…but realised that the majority of people on these sites think they want a relationship but unconsciously do not…”

        That’s really interesting. I think you’re precisely correct. People just haven’t really thought it through.
        But there are other people who know they don’t want a relationship. They’re just playing games, like shooting fish in a barrel. Predators.
        But if you know what you want; it’s a lot harder for someone to prey on you.

  9. I’m on Sophia with this one. The Pluto in Libra (and probably especially the Pluto in Libra with conjunction to Saturn) look for The Other Half to evolve, but takes time to get it right, as Libra is never quite finished with the internal self debate and their social perfectionism.

    With Saturn involved too, it spells commitment fears galore, and delayed merging, perhaps never being too sure about yourself, the other or the relationship. Everything can be negotiated, right? I’m seeing it from my own POV ofc. I have had 3-4 big/serious relationships, and now I have a guy with his Moon in Libra like me, and there is certainly some mirroring going on! Our tastes is so alike it is scary sometimes…

    I am currently without a job and on sick payment, and even though I can FEEL he is both economically and emotionally committed to me, he has yet to move his address to my apartment, sell his own home and do the ‘full Circle’ in commitment, even though we live together in every other way. (There is some legal stuff going on with it as well, so it’s not only a personal thing. That’s Saturn in Libra again… Delays and/or disappointment).

    I read some time ago that people who lived together for long without the marriage deal, would not fare as well in commitment as would married couples. With time, the missing legal commitment would make them drift apart more than a married couple, so I would say that if your partner can’t/won’t give you the last part (legal commitment), but wants all the other things, I would sit down and have a chat about resources. I think a lot of the younger ones has seen their parents struggle. The Pluto in Scorpio generation takes on the commitment style of the grandparents. I read it about it once – it was a quite interesting trend to be honest. So, you will have a tendency to orient yourself towards what your grandparents did.

    1. What you wrote about living together and then marriage low survival rate. If they marry to save a dying relationship, yeah it will fail. The long term live togethers I know married because it was kiddy time. Some of them had kiddies and the kiddies were at the wedding. To me, kids are the best reason to get married. That, or if it is a good business partnership. I think you will find the number one problem in marriages is moola problems.

    2. I can see how Saturn in Libra would add an intense layer to the process of knowing thyself through the other. Take heart that Saturn is exalted in Libra so that the reward of knowing yourself and forming an honest and integral relationship is a reward (eventually!) despite the long struggles and obstacles. Vis a vis the issue of commitment in your partner, he is reflecting something inside you that resists taking this step – which is likely about committing to yourself in some way, the question – are you worth it? A gift of discovery if you can unearth it and transform. Best of luck!

  10. I am thinking about a group of Pluto in Sag young men. I was privy to a conversation they were having maybe like a year or within the last year. They did not know how to approach women anymore because of the me too movement. Fearful of what they would be accused of. So they agreed that the woman needs to make the move now, even though that was no guarantee they wouldn’t be accused of some crime.

    1. Well that sucks! What a shame. There is such a breakdown in the gender roles as well as relations between them, and I don’t see how we can come back from it without a miracle.

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