I’ve been blogging for nearly twenty years now. Things have really changed over the years. For one thing, I don’t write much about my personal life anymore. There are a lot of reasons for this.
One of the reasons I stopped is because I realized people hate people like me. This was not always the case. But it became the case and naturally, I backed down.
It’s my quirkiness they don’t like. We’re in this time where people are herded like cows and expected to conform. It makes a person like me really think about mentioning… well, anything. But I’m going to tell you what I did this weekend because it’s just classic. It is quintessential, Elsa P. The truth that no one believes.
This weekend, I bought a desk. Now don’t make assumptions. I’ve been looking for a desk for a long time. For a year or two anyway. I’ve not found one because it’s just not been my time, but Friday, I stopped at a yard sale and there was my desk. “It’s my husband’s desk,” the woman said.
“What’s he want for it?” I asked.
“Sixty.”
“I’ll give you sixty for that desk,” I said.
“I better ask him,” she said. “I think that’s what he said.”
She went outside to find her husband. She came back. “He wants a hundred,” she said.
“No, I don’t think so,” I said. “It’s a lot of trouble to get that home. Sixty, and I’ll do it.”
She left to ask her husband. She came back and told me, “Sixty it is.”
Now here is the freaky thing. I never had a desk in my life until I moved into this house with my baby daughter. There was a desk sitting on the curb across the street. It had a FREE sign on it. I liked the look of the thing. I had just got online, for real. This was 1995. I crossed the street and took that desk home.
It was a cheap desk but well designed. Okay, it was shabby or at least it became shabby, I’d say, seeing as I proceeded to use it, daily, for hours and hours and hours and hours for the next TWENTY YEARS.
I brought the desk with me when we moved across the country in 2015. I figured I would get a new desk once I got settled but when I bought this house, the lady who sold it to me sold me a real nice desk for my husband and them gave me another desk, free. The free desk was just like my other free desk except it was tiny bit better quality. My original free desk went to the dump and I was back in business in a blink.
I have supported myself and my family, writing, for all these years. I have also paid to maintain this blog and paid writers and technical people for nearly two decades and never spent a dime on a desk.
“I am that cheap!” I told a friend. “I don’t mean to be cheap, but clearly I am. So now I have sixty dollars in desk costs and a lot of sales to offset that.” She laughed
“It reminds me when I first started blogging. Do you know I wrote my whole book in email? In an email window?”
“No.”
“Yes. I didn’t have Word or know what it was or see any need for it since what I had was just fine. I just opened an email window and wrote all day long.”
“You’re kidding.”
“No. Some gave me Word, that’s how I got it. They told me I needed it and I said, whatever. But they gave it to me and eventually I learned to use it since everyone said I should…”
I’m not sure if I am going to admit to anything else like this, anytime soon. But I am Henry’s granddaughter (pictured above). He always felt if you had anything extra, you should give it away or save it. There’s just no reason to buy a desk when you have a desk that’s working. But my desk quit working, obviously. Why else would I be looking to replace it?
I want to tell you one more thing. Recently I got in a lot of trouble for being generous. I know I am contradicting myself. I just said I was cheap. But what I mean is I take the money I have not spent on desk(s) and buy things to give to people. Treats or other things I think they will like.
I didn’t realize this was an eccentric thing to do, just like I’m not thinking about my free desks up until the day I am. Anyway, it’s another example how people just don’t like weirdos, I guess, or perhaps it’s just my weird quality that has fallen out of vogue. NOTE TO SELF – No gift giving
I hope Uranus in Taurus changes things. It’s possible. I can see it might liberate my self esteem and it that happens, look out!
Until then, it’s periscope back down as I try to do what’s expected of me because that’s what a person has to do to survive in today’s world, to a very large extent.
At least I live in the country. That old man on the tractor is my neighbor. He doesn’t care if I stand in the yard and yell, “Pizza! to get the dogs to come in. “Ham!” “Turkey! We have turkey in here, you dogs!”
I’ll never live in town again.
Are you looking forward to Uranus in Taurus?
I’m looking forward to uranus in Taurus for so many reasons. IM NOt Much About Aries OR MY 10TH house, BUT Taurus and the 11th house, now we’re talking. I just love your style Elsa. Your the best.
Thanks. You know, as I think about it, Uranus in Aries has been horrible for people who are independent. I guess it must have been the square to Pluto in Capricorn.
I remember being dissed all over the place; flat out mocked because I did not want to get a smartphone. I just wasn’t interested and could not be compelled to get on the bandwagon. Why are people like this? Why am I a shithead because I am happy with what I have?
Ultimately I had to get a phone because what I had would not work… you’re forced to upgrade, but what is the major problem people have with people who are not interested in what they are?
There was another time on this blog, some gal asked was people thought of some piece of art. I didn’t like it and said so. MAJOR MISTAKE.
I didn’t know I was supposed to gush about the item – wtf?
I still don’t gush about things I hate but I do keep my mouth shut. Really, I hardly talk to anyone anymore, outside of clients and a few close friends. How can it possibly be worth it when the little box you have to stand in is so small?
That is something that really scares me these days. You will be torn down for the slightest of anything so you can’t talk at all, especially if you’re a woman. What the hell are you supposed to do? Just hide forever or wait to get killed?
“It’s my quirkiness they don’t like. We’re in this time where people are herded like cows and expected to conform. It makes a person like me really think about mentioning… well, anything.”
TRUE.
But Uranus in Taurus will, in time, also square Pluto when Pluto moves into Aquarius.
Now that will be big. Like Clash of the Titans. Fixed signs are substantial.
No, this won’t happen. Uranus moves much faster than Pluto. It will long gone by the time Pluto enters Aquarius.
I have never been on facebook, instagram, snapchat, etc. Well, I was on facebook for less than 6 months when this young hipster gal who I knew through a common friend, got my birthdate and made me a page unbeknownst to me. I was not pleased but thought Ok I’ll try it. I deactivated my page within a few months. Of course now that facebook has all these issues and some people are getting of of it, it’s “ok” to not be on it. But people have given me some serious shit for not being on it. “You don’t exist” they joked. I was like “whatever.” I could tell early on that facebook was going to make A LOT of people feel bad about themselves. I can see its benefits for businesses, restaurants, etc, for marketing, or connecting alumni, etc. But there’s so much else involved.
It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.
e. e. cummings
I Natal Mars 1 degree Taurus
Yep, Uranus in Aries has been more difficult than anticipated. Uranus in Taurus is in my 5th house – will be on my IC/N Node/BML. Hm.
Haha did you depreciate your office equipment on your taxes?
I loved your early blogs. I miss them. I miss that you, the stuff you shared, and how it tied in with teaching/learning astrology. I was re-reading old Xanga archives recently. And remembering blogs before that. The very early days. Boy, the world sure has changed, you’re right.
I did not know but totally love and “get” that you wrote your book in email. LOVE it!
And I too was forced into getting a smartphone (only a few short years ago).
I have always lived a frugal and minimalist life. By choice. Today, I have to do it by necessity, and it’s no big hardship as it’s my normal. (Ok, maybe a little too extreme now, but hey, I am surviving.)
About the desk thing. I had a friend who had inherited furniture from an old relative. At some point, she thought she’d like to invest in something new. But the more she thought about it, the more she came back to “a chair is a chair is chair”. She decided there were better ways to spend her money.
Almost everything I own comes from a yard sale, thrift store or garbage picking. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I hate how the Internet has changed. Folks used to be able to be free in what they said and have anonymity if they wanted, now you can’t have that and everyone sees what you do and gets ticked off and tries to annihilate you and definitely stalks you.
Stalking people is another “bandwagon” as far as I can see. Everyone and everything tracking a person.
I guess people do this because their own life is boring? Jeez, but there are better things to do with your time.
I am the same way about stuff I own. I have a 2 bedroom apartment full of furniture and, I’m somewhat embarrassed to admit, a storage unit with some other furniture. It is absolutely amazing to me how little of what I have I have purchased. I’ve been blessed with a few nice antique pieces from deceased grandparents. But everything else has been a hand-me-down or given by a friend who didn’t want it anymore, or found discarded or by the side of the road. Other than my living room sofa, really the only furniture I’ve bought are lamps and pictures/framing, curtains and my printer I had to get to work from home. My laptop was sold to me by a former friend for $60, and he gave me the extra monitor. My Dad bought me my desk for a Christmas present. And the funny thing is, a lot of people LOVE my house and the way it’s “decorated.” I’m sure an interior designer/decorator would hate it. I feel like my house is my facebook page. One can walk in and get a feel for who I am, and what I like just by walking around, looking at the pictures, the fridge covered with magnets, the books, etc. If I suddenly came into a lot of money, I think I would keep everything as I have it and just spend some money re-covering furniture I have. I feel very lucky and very blessed that I’ve been given or have found so much.
Were we separated at birth? I’m am kidding of course, but it is just that your comment strikes such a chord with me. I am so blessed to have acquired what I have in such a similar way. I have my bedroom suit from my grandmother that passed through the Veil. I have a good many pieces that I found discarded by the roadside, or were gifted by friends over the years. I hope within the year I am in a position to have an open house. It will be a rare thing for me, as I am very protective of my personal space and environment. Nonetheless, I believe that it’s important that we do not close ourselves off too much, else we run the risk of being too alienated. Thank you so much for sharing your post. It brought a big smile to my face and a glad sense that I may be frugal, cheap even, to some degree, but I am equally if not more so generous to another in need. I, too, am very, very blessed.
Must be your Neptune on your Mid-heaven. I remember you wrote it somewhere. People misread you, misunderstand you, and misjudge you. Yikes, that’s tough.
I hope people will not project so much onto you and your writing (s), and some people also just get off on being jerks, or difficult.
Good luck. 🙂
One of my favorite tables was left behind in the laundry room of an aprtment i moved into. People left their furniture there. Kind of a known thing. Have had it for over 20 years. My main desk i got for 50 dollars and refinished it. Was an old library table. I see them now for sale for hundreds of dollars on craigslist. Still have the dresser i bought when i got my first apartment. 20 dollars. All of those pieces are real wood. The stuff i have bought at ikea… I think i have a stool or two that are working as plant stands that havent fallen apart. Nothing i own is antique or perfect. Most has been patched, sanded, stained, painted etc.
I like buying the worn and fixing it. It is like you can go to the store and buy the fanciest dress, wear it once and find the fabric is crap and runs or the zipper is sewn in wrong. Buy the same at a thrift sale and you have proof of how well the piece works and what bits break and if those are the bits you would expect to or want to repair over the long haul.
I spend what I need to spend to get the thing or service I need, whether it is a little or a lot.
Case in point, I spent more on a lamp to light my desktop then I did on the desk itself. But hey! Eye strain!
I have committed to maintaining this blog for 25 years. I have about seven to go and will need to be able to see. 🙂
Whats going to happen to the blog in 7 years? Are you going to have someone maintain the blog?
Are you going to compile the blog posts for a book?
I’ll probably keep going but that’s my goal.
I have high hopes for UinT. I don’t know if that’s a good idea, mind you, but I’ve been looking forward to it for a looooooong time. I am really hoping things improve in my 40’s because 30’s have been one long holding pattern.
Im looking forward to the shift in energy, yes.
I mostly keep to myself, because ive been told enough, growing up that im different/weird. But sometimes i like to assert my God given right to express myself. There are those who appreciate it and those that don’t. Ive discovered that their own mental constructs have everything to do with how they respond to me.
But the ones that don’t understand me, really don’t understand that im also protecting their right to express themselves and be free.
I relate to this.
((( ELSA )))
This story!
I don’t call these qualities cheap, their creative! And yes, it’s true not much if that going around. This is inspiring to be less predictable. The public eye seems to have a judgement about every move a person makes these days. Maybe it’s all the Capricorn. I miss the light hearted openness when quirk’s where invited and appreciated. These days I find I’m painted as a loser by someone’s version of status quo. Not much fun in that so exercising my right to remain silent seems wise to protect my joy.
Before staying in Taurus, Uranus will cross 3 times my IC at the last degree of Aries, time to move out of here. I started to take stuff to Goodwill, as I always do when I hear the calling. With Uranus in Taurus it should be easier to get rid of the old and get some new and better suited stuff.
Elsa, I always remember your writings from that time, and always loved them as I do now. Thank you!
You’re welcome.
If you benefit from anything anyone does, try to support them in some way. Donate, place a link, buy something, whatever. Because it is harder all the time to compete as an independent. Wal*mart wiped out most of the mom and pops. People like me have to compete with (and cater to) google/facebook, whatever. It’s quite hard. It’s amazingly hard, though I’ve been able to manage, so far.
My point is, I can only offer what is supported because otherwise this blog won’t be here. I don’t have a magic means of support! 🙂
Your mouth is the main reason I’ve been hanging around all these years 🙂 Astrology, blah, blah, blah, can be found anywhere. But Elsa P? There’s only one.
Thank you, I would like to go back to being that…
I am considering moving my voice to the newsletter. Letting it be story time.
I will keep the blog, of course. But write free-from in the letter.
I enjoy the blunt, realism in your detailed and knowledgeable pieces. I want on this mailing list. Intrigued as hell.
I too miss your personal stories. And yes, I’m looking forward to Uranus in Taurus. My Sun, N.Node , and descendant are all conjunct in that sign at 6°/7°! Maybe I should feel scared, but I don’t.
I’ll never live in town again, either..
I haven’t lived in town for most of my 41 years of married life!
Tr Uranus will hit my Merc at 6 degrees, and Sun 10 degrees in 9th house. It will be interesting to see which themes will arise
I don’t look forward to it. I have Uranus in Scorpio conjunct North Node with the Moon in Taurus in opposition. Both are Square my Aquarius Ascendant and square Saturn in Leo.
My first house Uranus (in big Sagg) thanks you for this, as does my Saturn Neptune need for affirmation. This really resonates.
I don’t really know? Uranus has been hitting my Sun Mars and Moon and now my progressed Sun is in Taurus – I wonder if it will just continue it feels like the process of career change / freedom hasn’t finished yet.
About the giving that is so the same as my mother, she was puzzled and a little hurt recently. Her great-granddaughter, (my great niece) had always been given a few coins – enough to buy sweets or save up in a piggy bank by my now departed stepfather. So she has continued the tradition. I think it has helped her. Recently the second great granddaughter came along, she’s still a baby. But my mother being a Piscean loves to give, and won’t give to one without the other. So she gave the girls parents, my niece, the coins to keep for her. And my nephews and nieces just sat and laughed at her as if she was crazy. It hurt her. It’s just the general lack of understanding, empathy or respect.
I want to bash their geeky heads together! They are always on their phones to each other on Whatsapp or whatever during my brothers Sunday dinners. It’s so a parallel herd mentality going on online. It’s the down side of social media. It’s isolating. We are both experiencing it, I’ve had similar experiences and I’m very proud so it makes me really angry and vengeful. I now stiff certain group members now I don’t have to work with them. That’s up close, honest and personal, the best way. Just because they have 2k followers on Instagram it don’t them better than me!
I also deal with it by making alternative groups – I realised in my equal house chart I have the Pluto / Uranus conj in 11th so this is power when I am in a leading position. More and more I am getting with equal house Elsa, it’s like a new way of looking at things. I wish I could help my mother get with some proper friends and regain her place in groups now she’s alone.
I guess this blog is a group too and it’s so appreciated. It has been a real support through the square. We all need them somehow but groups are not always positive are they?
So it’s tough if you’re one of a kind like we are. But we have each other so at least I can tell my mother ‘it’s them not you!’
I hate(d) the transit to my 4th because I hate an unpredictable home. But I am not looking forward to the transit to my 5th – even though that has to be the most stuck part of me at this point – purely because I read a few “high fertility potential” description… That would mess with way too many plans that I’m laying out and working on for the next 5-10 years.
I’d love to learn to manage my money and belongings better though. Less flights of fancy/impulses, and more down to earth practical and logical spendings: YEAH! 🙂
I say bull on it. I wouldn’t let anyone stop me from saying what I want to say or doing what I want to do. If they attack you for it, you attack them right back.
Uranus in Taurus is going to shake the foundations of those who loathe any kind of change and I don’t think it will be pretty. But the Universe is saying it is time to change whether one likes it or not.
Uranus crosses my IC on his way into Taurus, while Mars and and Pluto conjunct and square on my ASC. I think I’m looking good with the reality of my chaos at this age. You know how some spiders build organized webs and others build chaotic ones? I’m considering which I am … and who I’m married to. There’s something about organizing chaos that has a ring to it for me.
P.S. I’d love to read more of your P. stories in those newsletters or otherwise. If Uranus in Taurus encourages more of that quirk, I’m with you, being an Elder in Quirk, my banner is up to read more of that old stuff, contemporarily:) Live on, Elsa.
I like your stories.I like your unique way of expressing yourself. You are like a breath of fresh air. Good astrologer, too.
Thank you! 🙂
Dear Elsa
I am a bit scared. I have Uranus 3 Scorpio 8th house square Mars, Saturn and DSC in Leo. Transiting Uranus at the beginning of Tauruus will push me i dont know where..
And later Uranus will hit my Taurus Stellium. Omg. The Moon, SN, Jupiter, Pallas, Mercury, Venus, Vesta. Seems like total makeover.
Any suggestions?
You’re going to have to ride the bullet train. And you’ll be able to! 🙂
I hope I will be able? Thank you so much for your comment.
Bullet train directed by people in the shadow – my 12th house is Capricorn and the pluto saturn mars ceres mercury venus jupiter will finally land there in 2021
“I try to do what’s expected of me because that’s what a person has to do to survive in today’s world, to a very large extent.“
This is how I’ve been feeling. Atlas Shrugged.
Elsa don’t you dare change EVER! I need the company. LOL
My Uranus is in the 12th house of Virgo with my sun and pluto and I have a Taurus moon in the 8th
I was always ostracized for my weirdness. I was “other worldly” one… kids simply couldn’t figure out.
High school and college was different I guess because the weirdness pool gets bigger so you always manage to fit in.
With me tho I think my frugality may be a combination of my Virgo need for some security(at lease a money net to catch me if I fall) and the absurdness of spending money when not needed
My Tiger(=Aquarius) choose my friends and my lovers by their eccentricity aka weirdness. No putting a cow bell on me.
I do hope for a reversal of fortune tho. I’m wondering since Taurus moon is in the 8th house if it might be my emotions and how I will feel about death, sex and other peoples money. Or maybe I’ll be able to discern between a friend and a lover. In my 2nd house of Taurus is my Venus and Neptune in Scorpio.
I was hoping to ask if you run reports to see how Uranus in Taurus will affect people by their chart? Id definitely be interested
Funny stories, Elsa! My granddaughter has Uranus in the 2nd house, maybe on the cusp even. Uranus in Taurus will likely be similar. She sometimes when young collected purses and had strange ways of handling her “stuff”. She would carry it all out of her bedroom and put it on the closet floor in the hallway downstairs. Strange behavior but normal for her. She might like this transit.
I always enjoy reading your stories.
You keep on with your quirky self, girl! It’s what keeps people coming back. : 0 )
Please continue being quirky and ‘eccentric’ (for me it’s not eccentric) – it’s what I’m missing in this dreary, dreary world. That’s why we come here!
And as for the stories, they are funny, often hilarious (the ‘soldier stories’ particularly), sometimes poignant and touching.
I am already missing them.
Please continue being quirky and ‘eccentric’ (for me it’s not eccentric) – it’s what I’m missing in this dreary, dreary world. That’s why we come here!
And as for the stories, they are funny, often hilarious (the ‘soldier stories’ particularly), sometimes poignant and touching.
I am already missing them.
Two times, sorry.
Thank you!