How To Date A Woman With A Capricorn Moon

“You intend no doubt to give me nothing, and are not aware the gift has already been received. Curse me then, and take away the spell. For I am rich; no cheap and ragged beggar but a queen, to rouse the king I need in you.”
–Alice Walker, The Gift

When you date someone you are interacting with their whole chart. Perhaps you were drawn to her mars, her energy, her rising sign or venus, the way she looks or swings her hair, but if you want to get and keep her you’re going to have to feed her moon.

The Capricorn moon is Saturn-ruled and in its detriment. That is to say that Saturn and the moon do not make comfy partners. The moon is all soft edges and Saturn is just the opposite, literally. The signs they rule oppose. Capricorn moon has a conservative heart. Other planetary placements may mask this but ignore it at your own risk.

A Capricorn moon woman needs your respect. She also needs to respect you. Her moon is discerning and whether she chooses to admit it to herself or not, she will know in her heart if you offer only fool’s gold. Tell her the truth. She can take it. She may not like it but she needs your emotional integrity. She has plenty of her own and will not easily settle for someone who disrespects her by offering less than is her due.

There is a good reason for this judgment. Capricorn works hard and ages backward. She has the heart of the little red hen. She planted the seed, weeded the field, reaped the grain, and baked the bread. If you want to share it with her you’d better have showed up and worked alongside. In this context, aging backward means she put her emotional work first and it’s at the end of the timeline that she may relax and enjoy the fruits of her labor. In relationship terms she has had a “right heart” with you and expects the same if you want to share her bread and eventually her hearth.

The moon and Saturn are parental constructs. Capricorn moon women often have experienced restrictions in their upbringing, issues of parenting in their families of origin. Often the mother was restrictive, critical, ineffectual, or absent in some way. Capricorn moons often become adept in parenting themselves and can fall into the role of parenting the partner. Awareness of this will allow you to spot an emerging power differential. Don’t facilitate this by under-functioning or over-functioning. Be a partner, not a son, not a father. Do the right thing and you will earn her respect as an equal. And that right there is a great reason to do the work with a Capricorn moon woman; it will bring out the best in you.

53 thoughts on “How To Date A Woman With A Capricorn Moon”

  1. “Capricorn moon women often have experienced restrictions in their upbringing, issues of parenting in their families of origin. Often the mother was restrictive, critical, ineffectual, or absent in some way. Capricorn moons often become adept in parenting themselves and can fall into the role of parenting the partner.”

    Soooooooo true, satori. I love this–the little red hen analogy especially. My Cap Moon is in aspect to Saturn as well. I swear to god if I didn’t have this Moon placement I would have fallen off the edge of the earth by now.

    I also have Pluto opposed Venus/Mars in Cardinal on my 10th/4th House axis. I parent both of my parents to some degree and have to work like a demon not to do it to my partner.

  2. ’emotional integrity’ … ‘works hard and ages backward’ … “emerging power differential” … there’s gold in those words.

    Thank you!! I’ll take my satori any way I can get it. πŸ˜‰

  3. I can really relate to this..I have Venus in Capricorn so this does resonate…with Moon in Virgo, they work hand in hand to build structure, integrity and to discern and divide out those that are not serious. I see love as a fine wine that needs to ferment and not to be drunk before it’s time.

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    That speaks to my Cappy Moon… I don’t want to parent my partner. I’ve already raised three children and trying to parent a grown man feels pretty futile to me. My hubby is very self-sufficient and responsible. He has earned my respect by being an adult and working hard to help build our home and security. He feels like my equal. I cannot say that of former partners… Good points, Satori. Well written and it rings true to my deepest moon-ness… πŸ™‚ Thanks!

  5. Thanks for the article, Satori. It rings true. I’m a Cap sun married to a Cap moon man. Both of us have Moon square Saturn, too. We have lots of Saturn going on in our household.

  6. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I couldn’t have said it better myself. As a matter of fact I think I am going to print this, and maybe at some point hand to some guy and say here is my owner’s manual. There is a line in an old Fleetwood Mac song that says, “Are you strong enough to be my man?”

    My last husband was my biggest challenge, he was an alcoholic, mama’s boy, I walked away from that saying that I am never, ever, going to be anyone’s mama again. You just described my whole life, randomly disappearing parents, a cheating father, I always felt like no one ever had “my back” or “stepped up to the plate” for me.

    Another thing men don’t get, is once they realize the relationship is going down hill and they want to repair it. I usually end up saying something I can’t. I don’t like you and I don’t respect you, and they always seem to say something like, ‘But do you love me?” They just don’t get it, how can you love someone you don’t like, or respect.

    Here you go again, g’friend, I tell people I don’t know what love is, but I know what it ain’t. Well thanks again for the owner’s manual. This from my Cappy moon and venus in the 10th to boot!!

  7. Oh and one more thing, can you tell you got me fired up. That aging backwards things, STRAIGHT UP, I feel like that since my girls have left the the nest and biologically I am done being able to be anyone’s mom ever again. I have re-entered my *second childhood* and it pisses me off when people tell me to grow up and act my age. WTF is that all about, yes I did earn this position in this time of my life. I had to start *parenting* my youngest sister when I was 8 and over the years I had to learn how to parent myself, but now, gigs up.

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    curious wanderer

    Wow, this is perfect. I’m not a Cap moon, but I’m a Cap sun, and my Virgo moon trines Sun and is conj. Saturn. I related so much to this. I think I’m going to show it to my sister, who is a Cap moon.

    @daisy – once again, I hear ya. You’re describing my childhood and my last husband! I still have some years to work for that second childhood though. Good to see you’ve gotten there.

  9. “Capricorn moon women often have experienced restrictions in their upbringing, issues of parenting in their families of origin. Often the mother was restrictive, critical, ineffectual, or absent in some way. Capricorn moons often become adept in parenting themselves and can fall into the role of parenting the partner.”

    Yep, that’s me. Satori, you really hit the nail on the head here. Loved the little Red Hen analogy too. Thanks for this post.

  10. Oh my goodness, This is me to a T. Cap moon for sure. Super responsible, I am 70 and looking forward to retiring and doing my own thing. Thanks so much.

  11. *standing ovation* I’ve not a thing in Cap- but, my Mother is, and this is certainly one of the most brilliant pieces I’ve read. Satori- You ROCK!

  12. Satori, thank you for sharing timely insights, knowledge and experience. Moon, Saturn, Neptune in the 10th with Cap rising, here. Just ended a three year relationship this very morning. I’d rather be alone than feel the need to overcompensate due to a lack of emotional integrity, respect or commitment. Hopefully, there will be dear friends to share my bread and hearth. My desire for a deep and meaningful relationship with one man is squelched.

  13. Wow, I am sending this to my husband. I actually felt quite emotional about it (oh I am a Cap. moon,) because I just haven’t been able to express it and sometimes lose sight of it myself, but I am ALL ABOUT RESPECT. you don’t have to like me, but you do have to respect me. You are so dead on, I would rather know the truth, why, because I can handle reality if I only know what that is. That’s respect, rather than withholding or deception. Respect and love, really, are like the same thing to me. Thank you for your brilliant description.

  14. awww love this article. i feel instantly better after a recent heartbreak..the guy doesn’t respect me that much and he thinks i am boring, unfun just because i don’t cater to his pretty senseless antics…

    a capricorn moon can fool around if she is comfortable. i probably don’t respect him enough to fool around.

    thank you x

  15. First time I’ve read such great things about moon in Capricorn! So many other blogs talk about it being not a great moon sign for women. I’m Aries sun sign, with Cancer ascendant, and moon in Capricorn. Wahoo…!! Are there any other Aries sun-Capricorn moon signs out there?

    1. Hi Jen,

      I’m an Aries with Moon in Capricorn as well! I know what you mean. I like this about us. Oh, by the way, Sarah Jessica Parker, Reese Witherspoon and Julia Styles have this placement

    2. Jen I am an aries sun, cancer ascendent, and capricorn moon. This totally defines me….I would love to meet someone who was almost born like me !

      1. I’m also an Aries sun and was born under a Capricorn moon, but my ascendant is Virgo. ;-)) And I also have to admit that a lot of the description in the article above fits me and my character very well. To be fully respected by others is really crucial to me and I’d always prefer having to face an uncomfortable truth to being unsure and insecure about something. The truth may hurt indeed, but at least I can move on then…

    3. Jen, I’m an Aries with a Capricorn Moon as well, and a Leo Ascendant.

      I love this article, Satori – wonderful insights here… And all true for me – if a guy doesn’t respect me, or if he acts in ways I can’t respect, I can’t stay around. That parenting the parent stuff is me too, and I’ve had to work through some co-dependency issues in the past. I was born wise and old, so I love your analogy of ageing backwards emotionally – I am definitely that little red hen, and not afraid of the emotional work many others seem to fear. Thanks for writing this blog – it’s helped confirm my own thoughts…

  16. My comment is to daisy I felt the same way when all six of my grown children left the nest I have felt like a kid in the candy store. Who can I mother now. I have moon in capricorn sun in leo and cancer rising . Also mars in cancer. Emotionally I demand respect and I will tell a man I can spoil my own self. I love cooking and family gatherings. The man in my life has a sun in cancer/leo cusp and scorpio rising and scorpio moon . With mars in aries
    yes very very controlling

  17. I loved the comment about Cap Moon women. I was just wondering if you have any advice or insight on “best” or “compatible” careers based on charts. I currently teach and while I have done it for 13 years I feel like a square peg in a round hole. Trying to use SUN, ASC, Moon and Midheaven to determine what might be a good fit if I were to transition to another field. Cancer (Sun), Cap (Asc), Cap (Moon), Scorpio Cusp 10th house. Any suggestions??????

  18. Often the mother was restrictive, critical, ineffectual, or absent in some way

    Thank you Satori! I have a Pisces husband with a Cap moon.

  19. Are Aquarius Moon signs compatible with Capricorn Moon women? Any real life experiences will be appreciated

  20. Hello satori, I’m also a pisces sun capricorn moon. Do you personally feel like you have many emotions you feel but can’t necessarily let them out because of the capricorn moon? Does it seem like you appear unemotional as compared to other people?

    1. Using the Neptune influence to throw up a glamor … rings true for me. My 12th House Capricorn Moon will and has for many decades done just that. I love how you put that, an influence of magick from my Libra-Neptune placement can stir a facade to let along. Outing myself for awhile is sometimes helpful, other times I do it unconsciously, and that’s not helpful in the long run mainly because I don’t remember why I did it after I limp back to the cave.

  21. I really enjoyed reading this. It was quite precise…the little red hen and looking for a man who respects me as I would him. A lot of people ask me why at 23 i don’t date “as much as I should”. I never know how to explain that the boys around me are just boys, fooling around… I don’t need that. I need someone who respects himself and is able to hold his own WITH me…an equal. And if that makes me “difficult” or weird, so be it! Pisces sun Cap moon.

  22. This is brilliant, I have had the fortune through my 20s and 30s of sharing the friendship of 2 older Capricorn moon women and both have graced me with maternal wisdom love and discipline as I’ve needed. I wonder, as I read this I feel there is so much if myself here, my moon is in Leo though it in tight conjunction with Saturn, with a 1 degree orb does this manifest the same? Any thoughts here?
    Cheryl xx

  23. I am sun in Aries, Capricorn moon conjunct chiron, pisces rising.Took care of siblings and parents. Always felt I baked the bread that others ate. I am extremely nurturing of children and adults and can’t bear to see someone treated with disrespect, a lack of kindness, and most importantly not treated as the precious person that they are. Only recently have come to understand the level of severe emotional abuse inflicted by my mother. Most importantly, my goal has been to do whatever I can to prevent anyone, especially a child, from ever feeling that they are anything less than precious and valuable.

  24. Hi, thank you for this article. You’ve hit on something that I couldn’t quite work out – I am a Pisces sun Capricorn moon too.
    The cap moon need to be able to respect a (potential) love interest – this is key. If a man treats himself or his kin or his future or whatever like junk, I can’t deal with this – it kind of short circuits me. Definitely connects to early family situations. Which is probably the same reason why hide when I think I am not up to scratch, e.g. if I am going through a bad patch. Double edge sword that might relate to some kind of conditional love dynamic.

  25. We share placements, Satori. Your article is so well conveyed, there is hardly the sting of that “detriment” i have dreaded for so long.?

  26. satori ,You have explained the Cap moon beautifully …I feel connected insyantly …i am a stern person ..But i am Cap moon woman and My hubby is a cancer moon man …we feel attached due to our common Aries Sun …But sometimes i feel We are trapped in opposite bodies i mean He should be With cap moon And i should Feel like Cancer moon ….?

  27. So, sooooo accurate. I love this. I also wanted to point out, Satori, that we have the same signs. I am also a Pisces sun, Capricorn moon, & Leo rising. (-:

  28. Wow, this is me. I made sure to tell the red hen story to my children early on. I took that one to heart and mind as a kid and consider those around me in regard or disregard based on it.

  29. Well hello hello my moon sisters I’m so happy I decided to actually learn myself it’s been a long time coming love love love this thankyou
    Love n Light

  30. Virgo sun, cap moon, scorpio rising. Hewww! Finally shucking off this severe depression like a monkey on my back for my whole life! But I’ve always been my own support system, albeit an ultra self-critical one, and definitely my own parent. Talk about being your own father’s voice, and I’m a woman. Which is funny, since my parents are a gemini and aries sun, both with aquarius rising, neither of which actually parented me. Father was absent for most of my life and still is. I basically sheltered and protected my mother when I lived with her as a teen.

    1. haha, i love this because I am a Gemini sun, Aquarius Rising, but yet a Cap Moon in the 11th house, which is co-ruled by Saturn. My disassociating nature and airy qualities are nothing compared to the influence of my moon, basically being my own parent, horribly self-critical, yet my Gemini sun provides me with an undying optimism for life, even though I have experienced incredible amounts of abuse from my parents, which still holds a grip on me that seems inescapable at times.

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