I’m working with a gal who wants to repair and improve her marriage. I don’t think there is a lot of support for this type operation. It’s all about moving on. But this gal doesn’t want this at all. She is concerned for her child, primarily, but the wider family as well.
So the couple has some bad patterns. If you’ve been married for awhile, you know how this can happen. It may be some type of quiet power struggle. It could be some type of projection, where you blame your spouse (rightly or wrongly) for the bad feelings you’re experiencing. It could be all kinds of things or a combination of things. The point is you get stuck. And if someone points it out you, you may recognize it, but then what? How do you move ahead?
If you’re in a similar situation, where both people would prefer to stay married but it’s all jacked up, then what I explained to her this morning might apply to you as well. The people in the strained, unhealthy relationship are complicit in keeping it take way. If you can see this, it proves the couple can work together.
It’s not that hard to become complicit in improving your interaction. In fact, it’s quite crazy to do anything but this and it’s funny how no one ever suggests this.
What do you think?
I stopped trying to right all the time. It was a hold over habit from a more insecure time in my life. I would fight and fight and fight to be acknowledged as right. Once I saw it and starting letting of it, there was a big improvement in our relationships. It isn’t easy and I did fail…a lot. But I can see a big difference for sure now.
love this Elsa … totally needed – really excited about your forthcoming work in this area … I use the royal ‘we’ when addressing relationships (which doesn’t always go down well) … both ‘I’s of the ‘we’ need to try & become complicit in improving the interaction rather than just point to the ‘you’! IMO only! (a member of the pluto and saturn conjunct in libra generation! lol!!) … but easy in theory less so in practice????!!! somehow?!!