Why Do I Always Choose Bad Men?

capricorn goat betsy johnsonI wrote this for a client who has identified her pattern of choosing men who treat her badly…

“If you frame this as an addiction, you won’t be far off. I used to go to margarita night when I was young. Two drinks, I would feel GREAT. The third drink; I would drink half it and then promptly vomit. I didn’t have to vomit that many times before I learned to quit at two drinks!

I have Capricorn, like you. I don’t want to be embarrassed. To continue to choosing men like this would be embarrassing?

I am saying this to motivate you, but also to simplify the problem. Because it seems all sad and unsolvable. In reality it’s only sad so long as you keep doing it. Once you stop, you’ll have paid the price of education and you’ll be free…”

Who can relate?

7 thoughts on “Why Do I Always Choose Bad Men?”

  1. Avatar

    Putting up with bad behavior for temporary romantic pleasure is never worth it in retrospect. The problem is, it feels so worth it in the heat of the moment that the euphoria temporarily erases the memory of past pain and there seems no reason not to plunge in again no matter what your gut tells you.

    How do you become the calm eye in your own storm, find the restraint to stop making choices that are heavenly for short-term gratification but pure poison for the long term?

    Maybe you really have to be almost destroyed psychologically by the consequences of a bad decision for it to have any lasting impact. I have Venus in Cap and hate being embarrassed but it hasn’t served me in making better choices.

  2. Avatar

    Some things are misunderstandings,true. And some things include disrespectful, mean-spirited contemptuous behavior from unhappy easily threatened people whose only seeming happiness can be found in trying to control and put down those they’re intimately involved with. Can come from a man or a woman.

  3. i remember reading the horrific story of Linda Lovelace, triple capricorn, rising, sun, and Jupiter. but she had aqua mars,merc, sag venus in the 12th. and in her biography there was so much humiliation and torture. where did it go wrong to go that far? and not stop it before the rapes and the degradation? Wanting to be loved is not the equivalent of torture.

  4. Oh I can relate!! I had horrible taste in men years ago, mostly because I wasn’t treating myself well. I’d go for that 3rd, 4th, 5th drink out of a desire to feel even “more good” when good wasn’t going to be what I felt.

    I couldn’t take it anymore. I stopped dating for a year, year and a half. Did some self exploration. Then went back in with a different mindset and more commitment to my own happiness. Within a couple of years I met the fantastic guy I married. A very happy ending in my case, but entirely possible I would think for anyone. 🙂

  5. i have capricorn and i can relate too, so when i looked back at my past, i thought it was the pisces/12th house that made me want those types too (martyr problem?)but i feel having those energies made me fall in love deeply. Yet,i didnt realize capricorn also has this kind of NEED to want the “extreme” …it’s to feel intensity to the highest degree. (maybe because capricorn is exalted in mars) but that intensity shouldnt have to blind.

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