I Feel Nothing After Breaking Up With My Boyfriend

capricorn goat betsy johnsonHi, Elsa.

It’s been about nine months since I broke up with this guy I was with. I have the strangest of feelings since then…I don’t feel anything. I see other men…not a feeling. I see HIM, again nothing.zip. Is it normal for people to go through such a phase? Up till now, I always had something going, you know, I was always in love! Its just gone now. How do I get out of this phase?


Hi, Numb. While I don’t think this is easy in anyway, I don’t think you need to be alarmed. You’re in your early twenties, finding out that people (which includes you), change and grow and mature.

You want to go back and feel the way you have in the past, but the love you felt was not real…at least it was not going to stay “real”. If it was, you’d not be where you are today.  I don’t mean this to be a slap in the face. I think you’re lucky to be going through this at your age. It’s a reality check.

The way you’ve been living; the men you’ve been dating are not right for you. So why would you feel anything when you see them? You are changing and it’s positive.

Compare this to saying in 7th grade forever. Some people manage to do that, for the most part. With your moon in Capricorn, I’m sure you don’t want to be one of them!

It’s the Pluto transit to your moon that is creating this void. It’s trying to take you deeper to make you aware of your innermost self. Can you see how the “always-in-love-flitting” persona does not really address your core needs?

In a sense you are outgrowing bubble gum pop music.  And while it may not feel good today, you’re going to be far better off in the future, having shed your veneer.

Good luck!

Have you experienced a void like this in your life. Tell us!

Have a question about astrology or life? Ask here!

6 thoughts on “I Feel Nothing After Breaking Up With My Boyfriend”

  1. I would say it’s a good sign, Numb. It was the clearest alarm that sounded for me in the past. Sometimes an alarm isn’t cause for panic, just calm action…

  2. Yes, I feel this now and I’m married. The void is bothersome and I feel like I missed the boat way too many times for things to ever be right with me. I’m older though. You’re lucky you’re young. You still have plenty of time. My void was caused by missed opportunity. I was going through the ephemeris from years passed and realized I missed opportunities when the transiting nodes made aspects to my natal nodes. I would let opportunity pass because of doubts and fears around security. I always thought “if it’s meant to be it will happen at the right time”. I wished for love in 2001/2002 when the transiting nodes were conjunct my natal nodes and love showed up. There was no way to make a relationship happen with the person at that time, but when the t. Nodes squared my natal nodes a few years later there was a small window of opportunity that I passed up due to fear and insecurity. A few years later, when the T. nodes opposed my N. Nodes, another opportunity popped up which I did act on, but I quickly backed out of due to fear and insecurity. I thought there would be time. Now the t. Nodes are squaring my Natal Nodes again and I dont see a way in hell it’s happening so I’m feeling numb. I have choices, but they are not ideal. Maybe necessary though. Maybe check out the Nodes. Also, as Elsa mentioned, a Pluto transit can cause a void as well.

  3. Oh crap. This is what I’m experiencing as well but not toward a boyfriend. And if my love toward my family isn’t real why don’t I just go and jump off something you know? (Figure of speech, I don’t really mean to.) It has haunted me and I’m also having a moon pluto transit. Anyway, sorry to hijack. I’m going to try and not apply this in a hacky way to myself, this is just the closest I’ve seen to my issues.

  4. Also, Numb, I’ve also felt nothing after breaking up with boyfriends. I think Elsas on the money with this.

    For me it was because I had found people who reflected my desire to have a relationship with a built in end. And I was so desperate for someone to like me that I think they reflected some qualities of me, good and bad. Maybe you too want to feel big feelings and so you stir them up in yourself even if the relationship doesn’t need it. I would say ride out this thing and let go of the need to feel tempestuous feelings about your relationships. Maybe your looking for a different type of relationship or way of relating to guys. Maybe like me you want to hold out for something real and are tired of pretending that something youre hanging onto in order to have a relationship is worth fighting for

  5. I think a lot of people underestimate or play down the trauma of a break up. Perhaps because they honestly never experienced such pain, or because they are in denial.

    Breaking up can feel like death, especially at younger ages. I believe that’s because our deeper instinct tells us: “that baby will never be born, between him and me”. Our hormones are all up and running, making us FEEL, then suddenly there’s this death-like feeling.

    So you feel numb, because the mourning has shut down the hormonal system for now. That’s my explanation. My advice: eat foods with phyto-oestrogens, and be patient – at some point sooner or later you’ll meet someone who gets the ball rolling again!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Scroll to Top