Elsa,
It is easy for me to be taken advantage of due to my idealism. I don’t want, refuse to accept that people suck. And that I do too. Instead I strive for too high of an ideal and am disappointed when I end up disillusioned. I have Neptune opposing Sun and a good dose of Sagittarius. Counteracting, I do have a heavy dose of Saturn.
Can you give your perspective on an innately idealistic person functioning well in the ” real” world? When the world is anything but rainbows and unicorns? Does this get better with time?
Used in Texas
Hi, Used.
Not only do I think this can get better with time, I think it can get better today! This may sound harsh but it’s not meant that way. I want to try to answer your question, and draw you a map out of this.
Your main problem seems to be stubbornness. This is good, because it’s easy to fix.
It’s not like you don’t understand this.
You see that people flawed.
You see that you are “people” and you’re also flawed.
You’ve tested this over time and results are consistent.
Why not put all this knowledge and experience to work for you?
If you really want to strive for an ideal, how about you try to flow around this block? It’s stopping you. It is stopping YOU.
It is not stopping me. It did not stop Mother Theresa. Here’s a weird analogy for you…
There is a man out there, he’s works outside. Let’s say he’s a garbage collector. He wakes up on Tuesday and it’s raining. The conditions are not IDEAL.
Does that mean he’s excused from work that day? Of course not.
If you’re truly idealistic, you will show up for your life, no matter what the weather says. This way you will inspire people, rather than disappoint them and leave them disillusioned.
Does your idealism disable you?
Have a question about astrology or life? Ask here. Please mention your location. People are interested!
Bookmarking. Letting this soak in and roll around my head for now. I hear this talk from two of my friends all the time and I see it in them but I think it’s in me, too, sometimes.
Excellent advice- I will adopt this attitude
thank you for bringing this up elsa and “used in texas” 🙂
(moon-neptune)
I was born dry and with a dark sense of the world. Very little innocence about me.
Sun Trine Neptune here. My idealism propels me. When I know how the world is, how ridiculous people are and how unfriendly reality is, then it gives me a wonderful opportunity to work my way around it, to devise a new strategy, a better reason to prepare my army of unicorns for another day of battle. When I get disappointed, taken advantage of and disillusioned, it further fuels my dreams. Reality tells me I need to fit in and belong with the collective so that I can survive. PLEASE. Reality you disable me…
Thanks for the question Used in Texas. I have a cousin. He IS garbage man. Very early on life was a huge garbage heap, there was so much to handle. He wasn’t. But he got a job as a garbage man, riding the back-ends of the trucks for what … twenty years maybe. He kept showing up, and he is a very very large man. Anyway, he’s a dispatching today at 61. This post and both the question and your answer Elsa has me inspired again to ride the back on my personal garbage truck.
Neptune aspects my chart significantly. Reality COULD disable me, and sometimes it DOES. But I rebound. My husband asked me as I once again go through the recouperate cycle, “Do you bounce?” I said not so much. I mostly crumble and break-down on my way to breaking through.
Thanks again. This is one of those daily miracles!
Meant to write, “he’s a dispatcher today …”
Neptune square Venus and Moon here… Having been a victim to lofty idealism most of my life has left me disillusioned but not entirely hopeless there is still goodness in the world and dropping my expectations has helped me to enjoy that goodness when it does come around.
Here is a tirade. It’s difficult. I wish it was easy for me to snap my fingers, change my mind and have results. But man the pain of wading through the fucking mud of idealism makes me wish I was heartless. I wonder if its progressions activated in my chart because I dont think I have ever been as floaty as I am now. I’ve always been floaty, but never to the degree where I have ever felt “used.” Now I feel exactly that. Disillusioned, to me, means the pain of being realistic. I suppose that gives me depth. But its earned depth. It is sustained effort. I never before have had to “sustained effort” realism. Which is bullshit. Michael Jackson was killed by his innocence turned against him. And i’m pissed right now that someone hurt my feelings today so I am taking it out on idealism.
I do still dislike the burden of knowing I “suck.” Maybe with a little effort dreams can be grounded and dismantled from the pedestal.
Been here where you are for the last two years. I t has been painful and really just a living hell. You mentioned that you have earned depth. You have indeed. It pains me to know that others are going through the same emotions as I. I do not want to be presumptuous but it is my guess that Saturn is probably the culprit here. It was in my case anyhow. Saturn does not give you anything that you do not earn honestly. Saturn has an agenda and you are following it I suppose. It is harrrrrd, Nothing will make it easier but please try to be good to yourself and be as generous to yourself as you are to others. You deserve that and more. You most definitely do NOT suck! Please be kind to yourself, it is probably a part of that agenda that Saturn has for you.
I am being generous to myself. I am allowing myself space to be me. I’ve strived for high ideals because its hard to simply accept the parts of me that suck. The ideal is bred from insecurity, “I dont suck, i dont suck, i dont suck if you tell me i suck I am wounded because I am running from sucking and I will prove in every way how I dont suck even when attempting shit that realistically I probably do suck in and get upset when i do suck in it.” Until I accept what really sucks I am not empowered to stand from a firm place and say “No, I dont suck. Now what else do you want to talk about?” See the difference?
If I can be ok with the fact that I am going to suck and I am human, there is less room for me to be taken advantaged of. I will at some point figured out exactly what I suck at rather than generally reacting to any criticism, any external challenge because I cannot discern etc. This is to me maturity and a marker of wisdom.People cannot manipulate or make you feel guilty if you do not have the inner conflict. I am still saturnian and agree earned depth for me comes from my saturnian side. Saturn I am sure is honing you in remarkable ways as well. Elsa says I can have a backbone and tears. I didnt believe her then but it is true. You see how I had a meltdown and can remain objective and rational about myself? Life still sucks sometimes Lol.
Yes! You can have a backbone and tears!
What you say makes a great deal of sense to me. You are objective and rational about things. I see the strength in that. I like the way you have spoken of some of your experience and it makes me think about mine, which is somewhat similar , with an impression that has been somewhat altered view. A helpful vantage from where I am. I thank you for that.
Forgot to mention that the damn Neptune aspects EVERYTHING in my chart except Uranus, North node and Saturn. Yuck!
Sagittarius Sun conjunct Neptune in the 12th, Jupiter in the 1st here… I don’t think I ever felt used (except when I was under 12), I think I’m fairly defensive due to my Capricorn Ascendant, and my Moon/Pluto/MC all conjunct, and my upbringing by a Virgo Sun, Scorpio Moon mom, and Cap Moon dad, who were both defensive, even a tad bit paranoid.
But I’ve felt disenchantment quite frequently… It sounds childish to say (write..) this, but most often then not, stuff from all dimensions of life look: boring, depressing unexciting, grey, mediocre, un-exuberant, lifeless, lacking in charm and enchantment, uninteresting, boring again… boring, boring, boring. Forever yawn… I keep desiring for stuff to be more exciting, more inducing of enchantment, more close to my idealism, more inspiring, more inspiringly (does this wrd exist?) unusual (I also have Venus/Mars in Aqua). But they usually are not.
A good dose of daily enchantment is nourisment to the Neptunian kind, like water for fishes. And to me also: fast vehicles, journeys, voyages, crazy adventurous intense holidays… give me all of that.
And it has disabled me, yes. When I run away from all the lack of enchatment of the world, and end up in my own little world, getting nothing done, and feeling alienated, dissolved, and amorphous.
Not any more. It’s a perfectly imperfect world and I’m good with that. My sun jupiter had to be flogged over and over again before I got it. Jupiter has high expectations I think. It’s not realistic. I was just plain setting myself up for disappointment.
Was born an idealist, but life has made me a cynic. Would like to find a middle ground — as Elsa said, “Show up,” but for my own sake, inspiring others is a bonus. As for hanging on the back of a garbage truck — sure it’s smelly back there, but sometimes you find a treasure on the sidewalk amongst the trash…
“Does your idealism disable you?”
Well for one my meds disable me and I do have sun opposite neptune 11th neptune opposing 5th house sun so yeah, not sure what you mean there. But I’ll try and make sense.
YES!
Okay. I am 30 now and I think with my history, and mental illness I’ll be married have two children God talks to me and that I’ll be able to pay off mom and dad’s house mortgage. Bunch of balony! I wish I were like Sarah laughing at God’s promises but I see that I made a lot of mistakes in life. For one in 7th grade I abuse marijuana till 8th grade which made take meds all my life! Then I was hospitalized like 5 times including a jail incident. Seven car wrecks on top of this!
But hey here’s the good anecdote: I have a college degree in RELIGION and a minor in POLITICAL SCIENCE. Whose going to hire me?!
I have talents, yes many talents, I can write , play the drums to a tee and other stuff. But where’s the DOE!
I am tired of no money, a head full of advice and poor God having to hear my prayers I think I should rest now. But I don’t want to death wish myself I have already given my family enough heartache.
So whoever that girl is , please check yourself , your fine , your not perfect and listen to Elsa!
I think the people in Syria are facing realist problems . I am afraid if we have a major war with China so will we. I hate to even think about that but those stupid conspiracy videos scare me man. Also yet again one more UNIVERSITY I applied to for hope. I don’t know where this is going. But I’m leaning on my parent’s goodwill because they are truly good people and I wouldn’t be here without them. But anyway, my dad says I need to rebound into healthy land so I’ll take advantage and brainstorm my creativity if time allows it.
Forgive my previous posts I gotta work on positivity despite circumstances! Plus I shouldn’t give up hope on a good life and I will let go and let God.
My mother and father have been idealistic people just like Used described herself. For them it turned out pretty OK because of the circumstances, although they took and are taking a tremendous amount of hits.
I have Venus cnj Mars in Pisces, with Venus my chart ruler – in spite of this, I know and understand that people majorly suck, I understand clearly the difference between what I would like people to be and what they are(including in myself).
I have no desire to be understanding to all the shitty people around me, my only wish is to have the strength and resilience to protect the people like my parents, I would like to have the power to protect the protectors, the people that save lives, the people that sacrifice themselves for others and that are considered ‘pillars’ – my experience so far has been that it is harder to provide help to a firefighter in need than to a woman from a burning building.
Thank you, as always, for your wisdom, Elsa.