Is Saturn The “Glue” That Keeps A Couple Together?

saturn out of spaceThere’s a thread in the forum: “Can a relationship really be long term without Saturn aspects in synastry?” It’s a great question!

There are all different types of relationship. I wanted to say, people relate in different ways for different reasons. I wanted a puffy answer like that, but I thought about it overnight. I don’t see a way to maintain a relationship over time without a Saturn component.

This is not necessarily because you are “stuck” or “bound” or have “karma”, either light or heavy. It’s because Saturn rules commitment.

If you’ve never been in long term relationship, you may not realize that no matter how much you love someone, the time will come when they annoy you. Or they let you down in some way.  It’s impossible to live your life, year after year and always be at your best.

If your friend or your partner is not committed to you; if they lack this ability, they’re going walk, most likely when you need them the most.

This Saturn (glue) may show in the synastry but before you even get that far, consider the individual. Recently, I had a father ask me if his daughter was going to stay in a relationship with a bad man.

“No.  She’ll leave.”

“How do you know?” he asked

“She leaves every relationship. It’s all she knows how to do at this point.  She’ll leave…”

I could imagine him, on his end of the phone, nodding in the affirmative.

You can’t have a long term relationship if you (or your partner) can’t commit.  And Saturn is not some kind of oppressive force that harms you. There are certain privileges, reserved for grownups. Long term relationships are one of them.

Are you able to commit over time?

34 thoughts on “Is Saturn The “Glue” That Keeps A Couple Together?”

  1. This is true in my experience. In my two most important relationships, the composite sun was in the fifth house, and neither of them led to children or marriage. However, the one with tons of Saturn contacts lasted for ten years, and we are still friends, and the one with none lasted less than one year and we definitively parted ways as friends and lovers.

  2. I’ve hardly ever been single because I always commit. Not multiple relationships either. Just a couple of long lasting ones. I have Venus square Saturn natally. My husband and I have a moon/saturn opposition in our composite. We are always there for each other emotionally.

  3. Exalted in libra ruler in earth masculine in Aquarius Saturn is truth when in good movement timing and appeal….a bad dog when is in poor.

  4. Hmmm I believe so. Me and my partner have the Saturn conjunct Venus double whammy AND the conjunction is in the composite. I am bound forever and cannot escape even if I tried. 🙂

    We just work thru the messes and end up thriving with an even stronger bond once the dust settles. Sometimes the feeling of being bound so strongly is scary but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  5. Yes, I have. Even though I have so much Sag,I have always been in long term relationships. Even the ones that I should not have been that were to my detriment. Saturn conjunct my scorpy sun.

    1. How do you build freedom into those relationships? Rather, how do you express the Sag side?

      Also, how do you deal with Sun/Saturn? Like, do you suffer/ever feel like you stop suffering from not feeling good enough? My friend has Sun/Saturn/Uranus and some Sag and really suffers and feels depressed because of high expectations of the self.

  6. Yep; Saturn rules my 7th house. My husband & I have been together for 20 years. For the first 10, we walloped each other but grew and continue to grow through the process. It’s not about rose petals strewn about but hard work and yes sometimes I hate it. But he is truly my best friend and I hope his. I think we have matured through the process even some rose petals every once in a while would be nice!

  7. Juno in Gemini on an angle in my 7th House and Saturn in Sag in my First. Uhm, well I thought I could! But circumstances in my marriage made it very difficult- so when I had to make the decision to leave- which was agonizing (Venus in Capricorn did NOT want to) for my own self worth and safety, I did! Love looking back I think I really tried but now I am back living with my ex and we both have grown up more and realize why it came to me leaving- that we were not really mature to see we may not have been right for each other. And though there is love, it’s once removed now. We want to remain friends and live out our lives together if possible.

  8. Hmm ? My Venus in Cap has stuck it out almost 25 years. Committed for a loooooong time. She’s currently been pulverised by Tr Pluto and now she’s Consciously calmly walking away. My Saturn in Aries is totally totally unaspected. Ho hum.

    1. Outer planets aspecting each other are inconsequential. Saturn needs to be in contact with yours/their personal planets…(sun, moon,Venus,Mars,Mercury,Jupiter)

  9. Avatar
    Hildegarde's Noviciate

    This is interesting. I have Aquarius Saturn in 5th. Longest friendship I ever had with Taurus Saturn in 10th. We fight and will really hurt each other but have always come back to the table. Despite the number of times Ive wanted to kick him and leave(and vice versa I know) we’ve always gotten back up and tried again to be better people to each other and in general. It has quite spoiled me for any other and will be hard to beat.

  10. Elsa, this is so deeply wise & true– may everyone take it to heart:
    “Saturn is not some kind of repressive force that harms you.There are certain privileges, reserved for grownups. Long term relationships are one of them”

    coupled with the understanding that we are perfectly imperfect homan beings “no matter how much you love someone, the time will come when they annoy you [or let you down]” and vice versa…

    To me, this joined up with what you wrote about your husband in the post (that inckudes the link to ‘Scorpio– the most undervalued sign–by far’ — also golden truth!❤️❤️❤️🌟🌟🌟)–
    “it’s a great privilege to access his quality energy… If you’re lucky enough to run into someone like this, it behooves you to apprciate what they have to offer”
    I’d add that, no matter how annoyed –or annoying –I’ve been, I am always so aware of what a privilege it is to be admitted into intimacy (friend, lover, and/or partner ) , into another imperfectly perfect human being’s intimate circle.

    Astrology’s structure plus your knowledge/ability to use it, Elsa, and desire to empower others, plus your own deeply lived experience– this may sound kind of funny, but it reminds me of a friend who says “A drywall lift is a wonderful tool” — people follow you because of the *usable* knowledge they (me, too, obv!) get from you– what good is it to know how to put up drywall if you don’t have the strength to pick it up & position it?😘
    Somehow, the way you communicate your knowledge makes me able to put it into practice, mille grazie!!!

    1. Ruth?
      I really love that “drywall story” visual! My husband was a laborer for many years and lots of people have depended on his ability to lift snd position it. I knew a woman drywaller who loved saying “Drywall has been very very good to me. She was one of very few women drywaller.
      Your point sinks deeply with me as Saturn conjoins Mars in my 8 th House with Pluto not far in the 7th. Intense relationships demanding I grown up have been my relationship lessons.
      Not easy, we mentor each other through our differences, and stick it out because the one sees what the other doesn’t. And as we age and our hearing isn’t what it used to be it’s humor that gets us through filling in the gaps when we’re both wrong
      Saturn must have a funny bone!

      1. Moki, thank you, that is beautiful to hear how you can laugh at yourselves tenderly, in your long marriage! (I like the new side of Saturn bone as the “funny bone@😘)
        I’ve always appreciated your compassionate posts, often with a little quirky humor, too, so that makes sense! (I don’t comment oftem myself, as a quiet Pisces fish, I read & swim away– but I listen!)

        1. Thank you for your comment, Rutj, I bet quirkiness (thanks to my 6th house Uranus”) and humor has saved me more times than I realize.

  11. One of the interesting lessons I learned about Saturn and relationships was around my Saturn Return, which was not a disaster, it was a victory with a splash of cold water to the face. *Relationships are agreements* and if that agreement isn’t within one of the people or between a couple, it’s not happening. It helped me understand why Saturn is exhalted in Libra (the planet of partnerships and agreements).

  12. Yes I am able to commit over time! We were meant to meet as teenagers, 16 and 19 years old, and our journey together lasted 33 years. If he was still alive we would still be together. Not that we weren’t at the verge of divorce at times, we used to tell people we ‚divorced‘ twice and ‚married again‘ just without all the paperwork. We knew from the start it will all depend on us, day by day.

    His Saturn in Scorpio sits between my neptune and true node and 7 degrees from my moon. Together with my True Node it’s the Apex of a T Square involving my venus uranus opposition in aquarius/leo.
    My Saturn is trine his Aries Sun, trine his Uranus/South Node conjunction in Leo and in opposition to his Gemini Jupiter.

    We thought of each other as lifelong friends, no matter what happens in the future, including divorce. If you don’t think you own someone, they can change while you can still make your mind up if you like that ‚new‘ or ‚different‘ person. You’re also not required to stay put, no matter what.
    Saturn has never felt oppressive to me and it really and truly rewards loyalty and commitment.

    Even the squares and the opposition served a purpose within the relationship and truth be told, without the mighty chemistry involving his mars conj my sun it would probably not have been possible to ‚marry again‘. But one thing is for sure: Without all these Saturn contacts, that conjunction would have been oppressive and even violent. Go figure

  13. I have Venus in Capricorn and a strong Saturn, so yes I’m very committed in relationships. My partner has a strong Saturn in his chart as well. I agree in the importance of the individuals charts when assessing relationship longevity.

  14. I have Venus in Virgo at 25 n Saturn/Jupiter at 6 Libra. My shortest relationship was 3 yrs. I will leave but it takes a LOT to get me to give up. I’ve always had a boyfriend since I was 15. …back to back. Until my 6 yr long relationship ended mid august 2019 when my fiancé who I lived with for 3 yrs said he was going to bed one night and I went in 10 mins later and he was gone. I never saw him again. I’ve been an agoraphobic basically since. Yay life.

  15. I’m wondering about saturn sextile venus with 4 degree orb in synastry? Also saturn trine seventh house ruler with seven degree orb?

  16. I’m not sure Saturnian committed relationships necessarily equal maturity and being a “grown up”?

    I’ve seen many emotionally immature people in long term committed relationships/marriages, that should have got divorced a long time ago. A lot of people stay in marriages not because they are “committed” but because they don’t want to be alone, or they have got too complacent and comfortable. Or due to financial restraints, they simply can’t afford to split up and live separately. People have no option but to commit there.

    Many married people I’ve spoken to secretly dream of a single and free life, skipping into the sunset along the beach all carefree. They always start with, “If I could do it all again, I wouldn’t…”

    Not being a Debbie Downer here, but just seeing how it is.

  17. Saturn conjunction with Pluto in Libra natally, so yes. My relationships are almost ALWAYS long term. But oh, that Pluto… he makes my life and experiences so freakishly harsh! Even Saturn is not able to control Pluto’s obsessive ways, and they are always fighting with each other, creating a war between upheavels for the sake of truths and structure for order and discipline!

    With my current partner, I have his Saturn/Mars in Virgo sextiling my Venus,Sun and Jupiter in Scorpio in our synastry.
    My Saturn/Pluto is Trine his Venus Gemini (which is retrograde, so she is not that flirty and more serious committed).
    He has Cap on his ASC.

    Our composite has Cap on its ascendant too, and a lot of the planets are in Libra. Including Saturn and Pluto.

    Commitment glue?!
    Uhm, does the Pope wear a funny hat?!

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