Dear Elsa.
My boyfriend of one year whom I love and adore (and it’s mutual) and with whom I’m planning my life (moving in soon, our careers progressing, etc.) is carrying terrible baggage from a break-up. It’s like a ghost in our house, haunting us both.
I’m conflicted about how much of a priority I am to him. Which is first? His insecurity and fear and clinging to the pain of a devastating betrayal, or his healthy and loving relationship with me. I don’t know. He’s spiraling into a depression about his emotional blocks and its torture. Thanks, Doctor.
Girlfriend
United States
Dear Girlfriend,
I am sorry but it sounds as if your plans are going awry. And I don’t mean there is no hope for your relationship; only that the idyllic situation you wish and dream for is obviously not manifesting. And what makes this particularly challenging is the fact that it is not your chart/life going haywire, but his. So there is very little I can do for you but outside of give you an idea of his situation.
Your boyfriend is having a Pluto transit to his Sun Pluto conjunction in Virgo. He is going to be in this type of intense process until the end of 2008, at least. And all these issues… the ghosts, the trauma, etc. are going to continue to surface whether he (or you) likes it or not. So while there is nothing he can do about this, you have a choice. You can walk or you can stay and if you ask me, either choice is reasonable.
It’s reasonable to stay with someone you love, even though you know they are looking at 2 year’s hard time. It’s also reasonable to say, “You know what? I am not cut out for this. I think I’m getting off at this next stop.”
But here’s the critical thing for you to get: your man is in a transformative process that is going to completely supersede your wishes, hopes and dreams of what and how things could be. So do you want to live in a basement with him through 2008? Can you bear it? If not, I would be looking for the door. If so, strap in because it’s going to be a very bumpy ride, but not without reward.
Good luck.
Virgo men are cheapskates, liars and cheaters. Leo women are oppressed by these idiots no matter how much intimacy, a Virgo man can’t love anyone, he’s a virgin and nothing penetrates his spirit, he’s dirty, too. Whether it’s booze, dope or sleazing around, the Virgo man is not a good man, he’s a creep.
so true. i love him but he drinks way to much.
my ex virgo is on meth now and his new girlfriend has had 9 abortions not by him he never took me out even though he had money. never paid for anything i had to let him go bc i was tired of being his mommy. virgo men are nasty and cheap i def second that.
I dated a virgo, who fell head over heals for me. He was sweet, hardworking and giving. I also found out that he was stepping out on an off and on again girlfriend with me. After that, he seem to stalk me, what was even weirder, my friend pointed out that his new girlfriend looked just like me, creepy and that he stole from her and she kicked him out. He did drink alot, which was grose because you could smell alcohol on him all the time. He had a self destructive streak that was embarrassing and I had to cut him lose.
u cant label all virgos like that… im a good virgo. if anything im too boring and old fashioned. i dont drink, i work my ass off, and am very generous with my girlfriend. you people need to get off the internet and look and you will find good people and bad people in every zodiac sign/every ethnicity/ every age/ every economic level.
I lucked out. I have a virgo guy qho has strong Leo aspects and me being Leo, I have strong virgo aspects. We bounce and its awesome. Although, I do know another virgo male….poor guy is a mess.
I am a virgo man and I for one like the finer things in life and I would hope my girlfriend does also. I don’t and will never cheat on any women I am romantically involved with. I used to be the nervous couldn’t look people in the eye type. I started going to the gym and building my confidence. I really all came together for me when I met a Leo women who was not only nine years my senior she was 32 and was 23. I adored her courage, out spoken personality, and even her bossy attitude. She taught me to have not fear in my heart and that changed my life for the better. Leo women have their pros and cons but if you win her heart you have got yourself a QUEEN:)
wow. i cannot grasp the virgo beatings going on here. i mean, really!
one of the best men i have ever known (my grandpa) was a virgo. one bad experience does not a whole 12th of the population write off.
i really loooove my virgo man. but why do i ALWAYS have to SAY anything that i want him to do??? i thought that as a guy, it is COMMON to make sure the woman safely arrive at home late nite. HE DIDNT EVEN CHECK WHETHER I ARRIVE HOME SAFELY…….
i’m getting tired of this relationship if this thing keeps on going. I’m a leo woman eniwae.
I so agree with the Virgo bashing. I just believe us Leo’s are too larger than life for them. They want to control us, and I am not one to be controlled. I love my freedom and since I am not a child I do not like to be dictated too. Virgos are ALWAYS doing this. I am speaking from experience with several Virgos, my grandad, brother, step-dad, and my son’s father. All virgos and I can’t stand none of them. They are too controlling and critical of others and never themselves…