Living The Other Person’s Story

Rubiks cubeYou meet someone and adopt their views or attitudes about things. You somehow adapt. Before you know it, you’re living the other person’s narrative.

This might be a Libra codependence thing or maybe a Venus Neptune or Venus in Pisces problem.

It might be a mutable thing or an open-minded thing. I don’t know. I only know that I do this and I have all of these conditions!

I’ve written about this in the past; how the company you keep matters, but today, I’m thinking about how readily I adopt the practices of others. It seems a good thing to ponder with Saturn in Pisces, boundaries are hard to come by!

The fact I do this is generally embarrassing to me but is there an upside? I realized there is and it made me feel better.

This trait becomes an asset when I’m talking to people all over the world.  One person would never consider divorce in a million years.  The other on is planning their fifth divorce.  See what I mean? I am able to enter another person’s life and reality and conform to their rules and standards during that block of time.

To be clear this is not about being disingenuous.  I’ve got to help the person in their world, since that’d where the problem is happening and where it must be dealt with. If this isn’t clear, just imagine my picking up the phone and projected my beliefs or standards or preferences on the person on the other end of the phone.

The situation holds for age ranges too. Is this person I am talking to 20? 40? 60? 80?  I need to enter the correct paradigm!

Money is another variable. There are options open to some that are not open to others.

I think this is a worthy topic and something I’ve never seen discussed.

Do you tend to live the other person’s schema or do you more often pull them into your own?

19 thoughts on “Living The Other Person’s Story”

  1. Yup venus in pisces, got mutable too, empty 7th. I really adapt to partners hobbies and make them my own, worldview too, I take my partner as he is basically, my judgement is dulled…
    Usually i sub too much of my own and at some point my Aquarius kicks in and i rebel 😜

  2. Elsa, this kind of adaptability is natural for me. I have been told that I adapt the cadence of my speech to the person with whom I am conversing. True that! Sometimes I even adopt their accent. But then I have SN, Venus and Mars in Virgo in H3 and also Saturn, Neptune and Sun in Libra in H4 and Mercury in Scorpio in H6. I think the Mercury saves me from completely submerging. What do you think, Elsa?

  3. Good question and frame from which to look on the subject, differently. Neptune in the 9th House in Libra here. My biggest picture is to get along. But my strong Scorpio wrestler behind the scenes likes a tug o war.
    Like Lamari I adopt many of my partner’s story until Uranus in the 6th Gemini gets lit and I flip.

    This gets trickier now I’m old and worn. Compassion and generosity help be kinder to myself and my hubs. Our stories independently and entangled are a trip to view when I look at old photographs; where were we? And what story was that?

    Astrology as warp threads help the whole for me. When I drop a thread or two … the warp’s still there 🤞

    1. “Astrology as warp threads” thank you, Moki, that’s perfect! Astrology empowers me that way, too, a strong yet flexible framework for understanding AND being empowered to act on that understanding❤️
      Pisces, Libra moon, I always gain from understanding other’s framework– tho, once I see low-level or malicious franework operating, the drawbridge is up, porticullis slams down, ha ha!

  4. I have Venus-Neptune, but I think my Mars/Saturn (Gemini/Sadge) & Moon Jupiter (despite being in Aries) would be open to taking on another person’s country/culture and language because I already have willingly as a single person! If anyone is cut out for it, it’s me.

    It doesn’t feel like giving up my independence because it’s an ongoing challenge that feeds my Aries.

  5. Yes, as a Neptunian, I relate. Forever adapting. I used to be more permeable when it came to people. Still am to a degree, but once I learned to open myself up to the Divine, I was able to base my identity around that. I appreciate having something constant.

  6. Wouldn’t the magnetism of strong Scorpio be involved in this?

    Repulsion is part of it but I am referring to the magnetism that pulls people in without you doing anything but being who you are.

    Fox medicine!!

  7. In 1991 or 1992, I was sitting at my sister’s kitchen table one weekend morning.
    The phone rang, my sister picked it up and told the caller that she was on her way over.
    My sister was a WIC counselor in their tiny rural community. My sister told me that the caller was a young single mom, who asked my sister for formula and diapers because she had spent her money on cigarettes. Of course, I was horrified.

    I told my sister that she should tell that young mom under no uncertain terms that she was a horrible person. My sister glared at me. Then she said, “I am just happy that she trusted me enough to reach out for help. OTHERWISE that baby would not have formula and diapers”. Before she left, my sister added, “I am not here to judge mothers. I am here to help promote and maintain healthy babies”.

    Anyway, that really impacted me. I really admired my sister’s logic and attitude. I realized that I was not any help, and that we can judge all we want, but at the end of the day, a real hero does not judge those they are called upon to help. My sister did not see herself helping out an irresponsible mother. She saw herself helping a helpless baby. I now try to adopt the same attitude, within reason of course.

  8. I’m Capricorn, with a very strong Gemini Asc, I mostly influence other people, but can be influenced by them as well, since my opinions are not set in stone…

  9. Interesting topic. With 7 fixed signs (3 Scorpio, 3 Leo and a Taurus Moon), I do not adopt other’s views or attitudes – but have noticed Many people adopt mine. Now I understand why, zero mutable. Thanks! (Chart Ruler is in the 6th house). Also 3 planets in Libra and 4 in the 7th house so for me it’s not a Libra thing.

  10. Avatar

    Ha. Venus in pisces. Lol.

    I would say when i was younger i took on my partners interests. Now it is fairly balanced. More of a mutual reception kind of thing.

    But that adopting others speech patterns and accent, yip, still do that!

  11. Oh my word this is a HUGE problem… My family is so dominating and mansplains to me all the time… I am a classic Neptunian… Moon conjunct Neptune in Scorpio, Square Saturn conjunct South node in Aquarius… And with my Moon and Neptune both opposition Mercury and Venus respectively… With the South node transiting my third house currently, am thinking of cutting cords with my sisters…. I really need to make progress with my own, very different life, without the opinionated interference… One sister does have a Mercury Mars conjunction… at 1 Aries, conjunct MY (unaspected) Mars at 1 Aries…

  12. I don’t on average adopt someone’s views, habits or hobbies unless I really like them and want to connect. For instance, I have a friend who says she never felt at home here on Earth. She is obsessed with Ufology and would love to go to Mars or take off with Aliens if she could. The whole idea is comical to me but at the same time, I find myself watching documentaries or interviews on experts on Ufology more than I have in my whole life. Some of it is at her suggestion of course. But rather than saying “well I understand how this could catch your imagination, but it just doesn’t resonate with me.” I get drawn in. Same with a friend I had at work. She loved Disney and Hallmark mark movies as well as comedies. She was a very sweet Cancer. She urged me to watch the new “Cinderella “. I balked but finally did in her honor when she passed away and I missed her terribly. So I watched it and loved it! I also got drawn into Hallmark’s series “Good Witch” with Catherine Bell. Normally I am obsessed with Ghost Hunting shows, human interest dramas and period films as well as travel shows. I have mutable angles in my chart and an empty 7th house, so maybe that’s why, but I also have Jupiter in Libra in my 11th house.

  13. Sorry to go on…I also have picked up friend’s ways of talking or accents. Not all the time but I met someone who stutters and as I talked I started stuttering too! I was a bit embarrassed but it just came out! 🤦🏼‍♀️Rather than being upset with me, they seemed to be surprised or amused.

  14. I have a ridiculous amount of fixed energy in my chart. The only mutable are Mercury and Neptune hanging out in Sag. It makes me good at tailoring my message to the audience. Mutable in service of fixed. It’s pretty funny if you think about it.

  15. Yes I think I enter their world; I drive school bus. The tiniest students are the silly Billies they bounce they roll around they’re not hearing you ask them to sit and be still cause they’re so infatuated with their new friends or other students, they desperately desire as friends they’re little faces don’t leave me ,my mind always rolls around about the next conversation to try and sit still some of these children have a good hour drive we have a tiny island and one end is more excluded so the drive is long for some of them .yesterday I have one particular little dude who has a monster voice inside and likes to bring it out and RaaRaa!! up the other kids his little glasses are always full of some food or something and a little teeth are all twisted and my heart just always turned his way and yesterday when I dropped him at his stop ,his mama was speeding up a long road to get him I could see his little smile and head hang down and I could see mama screaming before he even got in the car so this little silly Billy‘s been on my mind I’m fixing to get a bag of popcorn and surprise him with it I’ll have to get 30 little bags of popcorn but that’s what I’m fixing to do , i’m not trying to paint mama as mean or him as misbehaving, but I’ll have a whole different head on me. Next time I see him , little things can break my heart and I know your a kid for such a tiny piece of time and then you grow this great big body and have this enormous world of living waiting for you balances out ,tricky to not fall in their world , I whine that I’m getting older, but I would hate to be little again.

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