A Grueling Life With Meaning… And Bliss On The Sly

8th house astrology death2This post is from 2009. It’s relevant to my recent posts. You see, it’s been the way it is, for a very long time.

Today my sister said she didn’t know why terrible things have happened to us. Why?

I thought this was interesting because I can think of all kinds of reasons why, albeit in my case. I have no idea, “why” in her case and I suggested my ease in finding meaning in my life of horror was due my chart which is “easier” than hers by any measure. She asked me to explain my reasoning so I did and readily. Because I have thought of these things before.

It is an undeniable fact I have had horrible stuff befall me basically from the day I was born but if terrible things are going to happen, I can think of no one better for them to happen to. I explained that for one thing I can handle them, and secondly that I can and will do things about them others could or would not.

Most important of all is my extreme and extremely honed ability to transform nasty energy (or energy of any kind for that matter) into something other people can use. I know if I eat the shit other people will benefit and I mean a lot of people will benefit.

In other words my life may be grueling but it has meaning and this knowledge is a tremendous gift. I never have to ask, “Why me?” I know why me and I have known for as long as I can remember which is roughly 4 years old.

What I have learned between then and now is there will be no relief. There is no “promised land” I am going to get to in this life so I have learned to get my bliss on the sly.

22 thoughts on “A Grueling Life With Meaning… And Bliss On The Sly”

  1. Excellent point, Elsa. You have a decided knack for making lemons into lemonade.

    I seem to recall a post you made about Elizabeth Smart, around the time she put that awful Nancy Grace in her place. I think you were saying something along the lines of bad things happening to people who can handle them. Were you saying that, or was that something Elizabeth Smart said? I can’t remember… The idea itself is what stuck with me.

  2. I have often felt like a sacrifice and don’t feel I handle it all that well. I can ask “why me” regarding things I’ve experienced but then immediately remember someone I know who’s been dealt a horror hand by anyone’s standards– I even looked at her chart once and couldn’t find the reasons.

    That said, my main point is something I feel strongly about: that there is no answer to the “why” — at least for me.

    I keep thinking of that famous viktor frankl book — talking about “meaning”

    From where do you get the ability to transform the energy?

  3. “. I think you were saying something along the lines of bad things happening to people who can handle them.”

    actually, seekingzen, I think bad things happen to people who can’t handle them all the time, I’m just not one of them so when the perp gets to me, he’s going to have a run for his money. At least that is one manifestation of this.

  4. moonpluto, Scott (who I met when I was 15) is Jewish. He read that book at the time of his Saturn return and was deeply moved. He came by my apartment to talk to me about it, I was about 24.

    “I was going to give it to you to read when I finished it but then I realized you already knew everything in here. Matter of fact, you could have written this or something like it when you were, 16….,”

  5. “From where do you get the ability to transform the energy?”

    It is innate. It is an innate gift as shown very profoundly in my chart although I have honed the living shit out of it.

  6. frankl’s message also stayed with me

    …and this post is reminding me of a quote…
    ‘in the hour of adversity be not without hope because crystal rain falls from black clouds’

    persian poem

  7. Hmmm, I think I’m remembering wrong. I did some googling, and it looks like that’s something Elizabeth Smart herself said, in reference to all the “why me?” questions. I probably got it crossed because I likely read about it here. 😉

  8. Victor Frankl’s “Man’s Search for Meaning”…I read this too and it impacted me the same way….to find meaning even if it is in suffering because maybe that is your destiny. He understood this and applied it during his life in the concentration camp.

    I know in my life I too have been dealt to handle deeper, darker issues than most people around me, but that has helped me to grow, have a deeper understanding and my makeup is such that I know how to tread through the muddy, murky waters and get myself through.

    I find myself getting all caught up on the little mundane issues of everyday life because it seems so trivial to me,but it gets to me, whereas you throw me a real crisis, and I can get us through like a general leading her army.

  9. Denamaria, me too! Rarely do I ever say to myself, “why me?” but now when I do, I remember, “why NOT me?”. I was born to navigate deep waters, I just forget that sometimes. A handful of intense crises in my life lately, and I see a somewhat tough road ahead, but at least my eyes are open. I’ve trundled forward with my eyes closed enough times to know, it makes any journey tougher. Not this time.

  10. Jeez you guys are good. I am always asking “why me!”

    No idea what’s in the chart for that.

    DenaM, after reading what you wrote, I wondered what your north/south nodes were — I have a guess but I rather you say (if you don’t mind)

  11. Moonpluto, my north node is in virgo and south in pisces…north node in 1st house….I don’t know very much about the nodes or how they play into the chart, but let me know what you were thinking…..

    When I read the north node virgo it says having to do the nitty gritty things in life and it made me laugh after what I wrote above….that I hate the trivial things….I really do…that is so funny to me..

  12. Last night I told the soldier I wrote this. “I said I have to get my bliss on the sly,” I said. “You know what I mean?”

    “Rather have bliss on the sly than no bliss at all.”

    I felt happy this is mutually understood.

  13. Reminds me of my favorite quote from Slaughterhouse Five, when a german guard knocks out a prisoners teeth and the boy asks “Why me?”. And the guard replies, “Vy you? Vy anybody?”

  14. I am surprised that I did not comment on this post back then.
    I have not had a harsh life. My eyes have been opened. Reading here has helped me understand. I have read Victor Frankyl’s book too and found inspiration in the kind of faith that Elsa has described.
    I kept a saying above the coffee station for months, so I could read it every morning.
    ‘Use what you have. Do what you can and just get on with it.’

  15. Meaning that my eyes have been opened to the suffering of others. That I have learned a lot about sociopaths.
    I was naive.
    That getting up in the morning and carrying on in the face of life’s challenges = faith.

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