Living With Someone With Mars in The 4th House

family fightWhen I see Mars in the 4th house of a natal chart, I think of family fights and fire in the belly.  It’s not the greatest place for Mars because the home and family are supposed to be a place of refuge.

You know those families that get together for a holiday and someone gets mad at someone, and someone storms out?  That’s Mars in the 4th right there. In the natal chart, or perhaps it’s just a transit.

I’m thinking of this today because I just finished writing for a couple who both have Mars in the 4th house.  That’s the cure for something like this, by the way. You like to fight, they like to fight, so you fight.  But if you partner with a peace and tranquility type person, you’ve got major problems.

Do you have Mars in your 4th house? Tell how you spar!

24 thoughts on “Living With Someone With Mars in The 4th House”

  1. Wow, that explains a lot Elsa. Both my DIL and I have this placement!!!!! I’m old enough to walk away while she lights off the fireworks.

  2. yes mars in fourth house in scorpio square my leo rising, fought with my family as a kind and felt kicked out and am quick to anger still even though i am a very aware, communicative and have road rage that is a big annoyance

  3. My man has this and I have mine in 7th house, read that should be good together too. We both definitely fight, but it is nothing cruel and isn’t too much. One thing I can say about his style for when he initiates it is more a passive-aggressive comment that I find hard to ignore lol. I prefer just a straight forward approach. Our moons sextile so that may make it more serene for the most part at home. As a 4th house thing, he did tell me that his parents fought a lot when he was a little kid.

  4. I have Mars in my Gemini 4H and it trines my 8H Libra Sun. The air trine encourages me to use carefully chosen words when discussing an issue. I have never verbally assailed someone because I know the everlasting potency of word assaults.

  5. I have mars in the 4th house. I don’t really remember any fights. My children were at times a pain in the butt though. Now, my children are in their 40’s and they’re always saying that they had great childhoods.

  6. I have Mars in Aries in the 4th opposed by Neptune in Libra in the 10th. Almost all my fights are/have been with myself. My husband is a double Taurus with Libra moon. He showed me happy is much more fun!

    Libra is on my midheaven. Oh and Venus in Aries on the IC. Lately I am thinking I am going to work out like a maniac in my golden years – as a spiritual practice – to satisfy that Neptune. The weirder the world gets, the less my Mars wants to fight it.

  7. Hehe, my 4th house cusp is Gemini.
    I like to talk to the people I feel is my tribe or whom I love with. When I live alone, I talk to myself.

    My BF has Taurus on the 4th house cusp. Sometimes he just puts his finger on my mouth and says “Sccchhh”. He likes comfy clothes, good cooking, he can be pretty lazy – but he is sweet and he likes his peace.

    As an added bonus his Gemini Venus falls in my 4th house.

    That kind of harmony is good to find. If Mars were here, I think we would argue a lot more aggressively.
    Now, we just talk and talk and talk and… Talk some more. Luckily we are great at finding solutions to many problems that way.

    I tried one partner’s Mars on my 8th house/Moon. Ouch! Even if the sexual chemistry was high. The fighting was as well!

  8. When the monster started stirring and coming at me, I learned to excuse myself gracefully before all the crap started flying. I was bullied. Then the bully would call me and say you left mad, are you mad, are you mad? Like did she succeed in making me angry. I’d just say I left before you could do that.

    It was okay growing up there because the bully was out of the house by the the time I was 4. It left my younger sister and I out of that mess of the older kids. My father was a bit intense because he worked shift work. I really did not understand that until I worked with an engineer at a mill project who told me he had worked shift work and said he was a nightmare at home. He said he got his college degree so he could work consistent day hours to save his marriage and family.

    My Mars is rx in the 4th and that might reflect the limitations my mother experienced in her life. But back then all the mothers experienced that.

    1. Naaaa! 4th house mars rx was about no physical aggression allowed in the household. That rule was made while I was in the womb due to ‘the incident”.

      Family is pretty good now since my parents passed. I only have to spend time with the ones I choose to spend time with. I don’t think just because a person is born into a bio unit that they are meant to stay together. Sometimes bio ties need to be broken.

  9. Very interesting! My husband has Mars in his fourth house, but mine is in my second house. We’ve always had a good amount of quick and fiery fights/exchanges – but they are always brief.

    He’s also an Aries and my moon and north mode are in Cancer so I just want peace at home. It’s been a tough 20 years in some ways, but it’s also taught me a lot about patience, emotional regulation, and acceptance.

  10. I have Mars in Aries in the 4th house. I am more a warrior for my family, but also a peacekeeper/mediator that loves balance. Pretty sure the rest of my chart overrules any fighting tendencies, lol.

  11. I have Mars here conjunct Saturn and Uranus, opposing the Midheaven. My parents fought quite a bit while I was growing up (double Scorpio v triple Sadge absolute rager fights) and considered themselves “estranged”, while still living together, for most of my childhood/adolescence. They didn’t split absolutely until about 5 years ago. I never left home, I live with my dad currently but we rarely see each other. He loves me and I love him but we have just never been close. I don’t make it a point to seek out his company and he does the same. I went no contact with my mom a couple years ago. It was rough growing up, being the only child until I was 10 I got a lot of the back-draft of their intense anger and animosity towards each other. I struggle a lot with this placement, Saturn in particular here is a big weight to carry around. Depression is a constant companion. Anger directed inwards.

  12. Maybe Mars can express it’s positive traits in the 4th (with no major negative aspects of course)? A brave, independent and no nonsense person can be great to have around the house to get things done! Quick Mars can be helpful in an emergency or crisis. I have mine in the 6th but know this placement from friends..

  13. My 4th house is in Scorpio (ruler?).
    I natally have Pluto, Mars, and Saturn there. Taurus Moon opposes. Mercury sqrs.

    Does 4th also represent stuff kept internal/secret? I suppose in the home?

    I like secrets, and did live a double life, even though I didn’t “intend” to. Some of it built off attempts to hide trauma.
    I do enjoy my home space, and prefer to alleviate and mental issues so that we all may walk about freely. I feel that is very important to state.
    I’m hyper-fixed in my nature, and my cardinal planets reinforce what I’m fixed upon. I don’t put energy into anything unless there is some psychological, intelligible depth to it.

    I must say, since I’ve moved so much in my youth, that my home feels beyond physical, or at least it is not tied to a specific look and place, but more so feel and vibe which then leads to looks and place. Although one doesn’t precede the other, I’d like to think I can state my preference here.

    The domestic material I ‘think’ I own is always updated, or simply dies and is reborn in a different form with some new context surrounding its history.

    My father (Saturn) kept a big secret from me until earlier this year: I’m not his biological child.
    My Taurus Moon also apposes this house, Pluto and Mars might also speak to the odd past regarding my mom.

    My childhood was tumultuous at times: violence, drugs. Both parents have Scorpio Moons to boot.

    Being a father now has reinforced the hard lessons from my youth that will never be repeated.

  14. I’m one of those 4th house “mama drama” mars types. Many, many fights were had growing up. Now, home is where I work my own $h!t out while also being a space to retreat to when the outside action gets too hot. Lots of work goes into keeping the peace at home.

  15. My youngest son has Mars in the 4th house. In Scorpio.

    He has been the family ‘fight club’ since about age 13 when the hormones kicked in. There have been times when I have just thought to myself HOW in the world does someone want to their mother and father every day. Now he is sparing with his wife. I have no idea how she has avoided knocking his teeth out, seriously.

  16. My daughter has Mars in Virgo in 4th and she argues a lot with everyone in the family. She gets made and storms out often and holidays are sometimes dreaded because of this. I’m hoping she will learn to let things go and not be so argumentative. I love her but we are all on edge when she comes to visit because we feel like we have to walk on egg shells.

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