Awhile back I wrote about losing friends during Pluto’s transit to my 11th house. My husband was was going through his stuff, he came across and old address book. He cracked it open and turned it towards me. Every name and address on the page had this written across it in capital letters that had been gone over several times:
DEAD
Can you imagine?
Once, an old man told me he did not aspire to live to old age because anyone who does winds up burying all their friends. I was chilled by this concept even though I was twenty years old at the time and pretty safely removed from the prospect of this happening to me. Or so I thought at the time! I’ve learned otherwise.
You can lose all your friends via war or you can lose your friend via pregnancy as I outlined in the other blog. My kids lost their friends when the next door neighbors moved and there have not been kids on the block their age since. Gay men lost their friends in droves when AIDS sprung up. I could go on and on.
Have you ever suffered the loss of friends like this? How did it affect you?
He threw that address book out btw. I didn’t ask but it seemed he hadn’t seen in awhile and might have reflected a different state of mind.
Hmm. Friends are what I do have (three planets in the 11th house). It’s everything else that I seem to lose.
(Sorry, that sounded really depressing but I shall still hit “Submit Comment!)
I lost my circle of friends when they all moved away the same year, 1995. Since then, I’ve picked up one or two casual lunch buddies here and there, but nothing as close-knit as we all were…
Two years ago, I gathered some female acquaintances who didn’t know each other for a dinner and we all blended pretty well (two Aries, a Leo, a Sadge and a Scorp). Last spring, the Sadge ran off with a match.com guy to the Virgin Islands (it didn’t work out, but she didn’t move back here). The Leo decided she had had enough of men and turned lesbian, immediately moved in with a woman and has scarcely been heard from since. The Scorp met a guy, got pregnant and married in short order, and she’s all but disappeared, too. The other Aries is a professor and has immersed herself in her research year. All this happened in the months that Pluto was nudging up against my 11th house cusp. POOF! So, I’m back to nice acquaintances here and there and lots of phone calls to my real friends who live several states away. I’m not sure I have anyone left to lose.
I lost friends due to my last pregnancy as well. A few came back eventually but most didn’t. Pluto and Saturn were both having at me at the time.
Well, we’ll be discussing some recent losses among my friends on the 7th. 🙂
I really tend to deal with death okay. Then again, I’ve yet to lose anyone really close to me, so we’ll see how I do once I have to stare in the in the face… but knowing me, it will still be okay. I’ve always had a fairly amicable relationship with death.
But losing friends to bad blood… it haunts me. It utterly haunts me and hurts so bad and never seems to stop.
Mine streak like that did not compare to something like the soldier’s. It was just a series of random things about a year ago.
I had a weird tense email conversation with the best friend I’ve had in my life, and we just stopped talking. Then my sister-in-law randomly left my my brother after 18 years, and I was very close to her. It was and still is like she died and I never got to say good-bye. Then I had an awful public fight with a friend I’ve had for 20 years, since grade school, and when I could see she didn’t care about my feelings at all, I ended the friendship, and as a side effect no longer see almost any of the friends we had in common. I also changed jobs and lost all of my daily work relationships – I didn’t even have anyone to say “hi” to in the morning. The guy I was dating sent me a Dear John email. And then my cat stopped eating and almost died.
This all seemed to correspond with moon moving into the 8th house, and I think maybe something with my north node in Scorpio.
It sent me into a depression, where the best parts of my day were walking through the neighborhood after work listening to self help books on mp3 and thinking about how much I wanted to feel like I knew where I was going. I started just doing more and more of the meditative walking. Which lead to some other things that have not “cured” anything, but they at least got me out of the well and to where I could see sun.
My friendships seem to tend to just…fade away rather than end suddenly through a loss like death. I’ve come to accept that friendships have lives of their own, just as each person in the friendship does, and like a person, a friendship will begin, grow, fade, and die. The lifelong friendships are the ones whose lifespans outlast the people within them. I still grieve, though, looking back on some friendships that have since passed on. Others (and sometimes the same ones) bring a smile to my face…good times, man, good times. 🙂
Yes. It broke my heart but made me stronger. A lot stronger.
How did I cope? I became much more easy going and friendlier in general…believe it or not.
I lost more people in my 12th House transit though (beginning with my best friend). Lots and lots of deaths.
If I’m like that old man…well, I’m like that old man!
What about Neptune transiting the 11th?
Is it just being illuded and disilluded with your friends? My friends are lacking a lot of substance. Either they’re not there, or maybe they’re imaginary…lol
joana- I still love my imaginary friends, ha!
They never disappoint, do they? 😉
four elementary schools in my first five years of school.
i was shy enough anyway, but that really kicked me in the teeth. (well, literally, i got knocked into a door in fourth grade and broke my new front teeth 😛
it makes me a bit more cautious about moving now that i’ve figured out how to actually set down roots (which didn’t happen until adulthood, i felt pretty alienated by the time my parents stopped moving.)
my best friend hovered near death for more than a year. sometimes she still gets close again, but she’s not crossed over yet. coming to terms with that has been difficult. but when you have to, you have to. (the way i see it.)
Elsa, does it mean that with a 5th house pluto transit the person may loose his children or lover or joy of life, ability to love ?
As I have pluto in 11th natal, I did loose 5 or 6 friends when pluto whas square in sagitarius conjoint sun…most by aid and overdose…I call myself a survivor in desert after pluto transit over my sun !
I forgot, when pluto whas in scorpio 1th house conjonct neptune ruler of 5th I loose my real big lover, he disapeard in mid sea. Family never found his body, all are sure he died but how remains a mystery 30 years after!
2 years after as pluto was opposite my moon I loose my power of having children, being pregnant…
Pluto will soon conjunct jupiter/juno ruler of 2th, what could I loose ? money from being a wife? (I’m not married)
sorry 3 posts…
Pluto finished transiting my third house last year and I realised I’d become pretty much of a hermit, totally out of communication with the rest of the world. Been trying to reconnect since then. Maybe I need a new number.
My boyfriend went through the whole losing friends-stage. He has Uranus transiting through gis 11th house.
Pluto is currently transiting through my Eleventh. But I don’t lose friends because I’m currently lacking friends. I’m not sure whether this phase began as Pluto entered my Eleventh because I never had many friends. Transiting Pluto is currently conjunct my North Node.
Yes, I did loose many business-related acquaintances when Tr Pluto was in my Sagittarius-Capricorn 11H. The good news is that I found a whole new group of true-blue friends (Saturn is also in my 11H) with like-minded interests. These women are my bedrock.