I did a series of videos on synastry once, they start here: The Main Techniques Work, But Not Really! I talk about the limits of the various astrological technique when it comes to judging compatibility between two people. You may be able to see a clash of wills or a clash of tastes or an emotional affinity between two people but these things are minor, particularly in relationships that work.
This is true in love and true in business. Even if you’re not in a functioning relationship, you can probably think of someone who is and you have to admit that defining why and how the relationship works, beyond the superficial, is virtually impossible. Why do satori and I get along? All these years? You could probably spend your life answering that question but it makes more sense to just accept it.
The Black Box Theory is concerned with input and output. In between input and output lies a black box, that you can’t see into. You don’t need to know what happens in that box, that turns the input into output. If satori and I are the input, the output is good and what happens between us (the action in the black box or the synastry) is irrelevant.
All relationships can be evaluated like this. For example, my husband and I are effective together. We don’t know why this is, but if you put us together, we accomplish things. Our output is good, and this holds true day to day, week to week and year to year. We met close to 30 years ago and it was true back then too.
If you’re evaluating your relationships at this time, this might be an easy way to do it. When you combine your energy with the other person’s, what does the output look like?
There are other ways to apply this technique. For example, take this blog. You come here and read it and this represents you + my ideas as “input”.
Do you like the output or result of this? If so, this is a good relationship. This blog is a good investment for you. It’s not necessary to understand why.
Your thoughts on this?
This is fascinating food for thought.
I agree that if relationships work, it is unnecessary to analyze (or over analyze!) the reasons for success.
But I think that astrology is helpful when relationships don’t work, or fall upon rocky ground, and we are fortunate to have a tool to fix the challenges before each of us.
We don’t need to analyze the workings of a car each day when we drive. But if the car doesn’t start, it helps to have a manual or a good mechanic to diagnose the problem. So it is with astrology.
I agree, Fritzy. What I was trying to do with this post is make people think / realize / id their relationships that are productive…and conversely, the relationships in their lives that beat them down in some way.
It’s also marvelous to notice how much is intangible / out of your hand, yet it works anyway! 🙂
I agree with you on this whole heartedly. Most people who look at my husband & my relationship from the outside can’t figure it out. He and I got together at very turbulent time in each of our lives. We were both trying to get divorced from persons we had been married to for 18 years or more and they didn’t want us around, but sure didn’t want a divorce either. 3 of his 4 children were teens and 1 of my children was a young adult the other was just a teen to top it off our daughters are only 6 months apart in age my daughter is the oldest of the two. The amazing thing is we pretty much have always had parell lives. Most people would have run away like the wind with all of that going on. I am so very glad neither of us did. Best Part of this story is we survived the raising of the children. We are enjoying the empty nest emincly and we now have 7 grand children all the children appreciate us as people respect us as parents and best of all love us. why it works we have no real clue but it does beautifully.
Very true. If one spends too much time analyzing a relationship instead of living it, what a waste of time.
And Elsa, thanks for the reading this week, you gave me much to ponder and I enjoy your style of communicating your thoughts.
I love this theory! Makes it pretty simple.
I do like the output or energy put out by the combination of your ideas, Elsa. They help me in ways beyond what I could do on my own and get me further than I could go on my own. This is a real gift for me, as this seems to be very rare for me in this life.
How the little black box works is a wonderful mystery. How some people with difficult aspects in their chart (or relationship charts) can make gold out of dirt and others with the same difficult aspects make dirt out of gold, is fascinating.
As for me and knowing/questioning ‘why’ or ‘how’ this works (what happens in the little black box), well, I’ve got pluto and a real desire to know what happens in that mysterious little black box, lol! 🙂
Angie
What a great way to look at this! I am going through a slow death of a relationship that I have had for over 10 years, a relationship that has slowly ‘beaten me down’ as you stated.
Thanks for this, I just had an AHA moment because of it. :))
This how I am reading this …and this is what I’m seeing in my own life. Previously I had an obsession over the other person. i.e. Am I with the right person? Are they doing the right thing? why are they x,y and z? Are we compatible? YadaYada. I’m realizing this is mostly a distraction. For me at least its certainly not the first line of concern. The issue is you attract you! I have Libra moon and I realized that my codependency issues actually were about fears (oh yeah its in the 12th!) regarding intimacy, abandonment, betrayal and rejection. It’s been hard to put a finger on this but intellectually at the very least I have experiential proof to remind me. I think Saturn has taught me the consequences of being this way in advance via crisis my mother has had. I am to change or suffer the same…full stop. The actual relationship I end up in or not is after the fact…the way or the hidden motivations I have/had for relating with others on a one to one are being assessed! Thank you Elsa for this Saturn in Libra emphasis. It’s interesting bc when this went over my moon and sun exact when this started I did not get the lesson and have SUFFERED in my relationships with friends and romantically since. It’s been a priority. I would say if your relationships are suffering… Its a red flag that you have stuff to work on. The outcome with “them” is less important than the lesson.
I wish my GF reads this by chance. Ah these women. Just saying .
I love this post. I have seen this play out for me IRL, at work, at home, and in love. Thank you so much for articulating this!!
I think what you speak of, working well together, which is what I consider good joint creative outcome, is what it’s all about in relationship. I’d say your take is right on. It makes that other crapola personal wrenching stuff tolerable.
I think I am a bit low on the evolution/astrological knowledge scale to fully grasp this post. ? I wish I had the maturity to accept and let the black box be.
But this much is true, when things are good, we never look for the reasons for it (same goes for our privilege, birth lottery etc). But when we have the slightest wrinkle in our bedsheets, out comes the astrological obsession. ?
Good point. 🙂
This is so true and very well stated. I’m fascinated by the intangibles that create true synastry. I’m equally fascinated by the synastry aspects that are felt on their own. I have experienced my Venus conjunct another persons Uranus and it was something. I don’t think it was just the Taurus in Uranus transit either 🙂
This is why I don’t believe people should have a “type” in mind when forming any relationship. It’s the ones you don’t initially connect with right away that end up being the most natural and symbiotic ones in my experience. Keep your mind and eyes wide open!