Pisces Man Chats Up His Ex, Says His Girlfriend Is Insecure

aries ram vintage drawing

Dear Elsa,

I’ve been going out with my Pisces boyfriend officially for 5 months now. He shared with me how his ex broke his heart and that was the first girl & only girl he ever loved. He says that he is now guarded against love but says that love is still an option but it will take time.

However, whenever I found out that he still keeps in contact with his ex I was very bothered. He continues to call and text her. I told him that I don’t understand why since she cheated on him and lied to him, why he still wants to stay in touch with her. I told him that I believe he still has feelings for her and he swears that he doesn’t, but he still calls to check on her and shows his concern for her when he thinks she’s in trouble or has a need. She also contacts him and asks to see him. I don’t know if they have seen each other because when I asked him he says that he should not have to answer to my insecurities. Also he easily blows me off on his bad days but in the meantime still texts her on days he completely ignores me.

Am I just being too insecure? Will he ever love me and be completely over her? Is their friendship harmless? Once he loves me, is he going to love me more than he ever loved her and put her in the back of his mind? Please help. Before I read about Pisces, I made the mistake of confronting him and expressing my jealousy toward his ex and another female friend he has that I also feel intimidated by. I invaded his privacy and found out calls he was making to both of them. I confessed that I did but since then he barely calls them but is still texting is ex mostly more than calling since he knows I can screen his calls.
Please help!!!

Aries in Love
United States

Dear Aries,

I am not insecure, but I would become that way very swiftly if my boyfriend treated me the way yours treats you. Let’s see. He tells you he does not love you… but he may in the future, if what? If you work for it? Gah.

He tells you there is another girl, a girl who is not you and he says he has loved her very much. Ouch.

He remains in contact with her even though she treated him poorly and you love and appreciate him and when you tell him this bothers you (who in their right mind would it not bother?) he insults you by telling you that you are flawed (insecure) and he (who is elevated) does not have to kowtow to you (who is lowly). Are you getting the picture here? This guy is a jerk! But let me answer your specific questions:

Am I just being too insecure? No.
Will he ever love me and be completely over her? No.
Is their friendship harmless? To you? No.
Once he loves me is he going to love me more than he ever loved her and put her in the back of his mind? No. But this is not your fault. I don’t think he loves you but I don’t think he loves her either. I don’t think a guy like this knows how to love.

Advice? Dump this guy right on his head and resolve to never play second fiddle again when it comes to a man. You’re an Aries! That means you come first or heads should roll.

Good luck.

15 thoughts on “Pisces Man Chats Up His Ex, Says His Girlfriend Is Insecure”

  1. I personally think an Aries woman/Pisces man is one of the WORST pairings out there. Even if you survive all this early angst, there’s plenty of room for more. An Aries woman is all about action and most of the Pisces men I know are into either reaction or inaction. You’ll become very impatient with him, lose all respect for him, and then will become a shrew trying to force him to DO SOMETHING!

    Move on!

  2. you know, i find some irony here for Aries. she asks, “Why does he stay in contact with the ex when she treated him badly?” when the question could just as easily be, “Why does she continue to see this man who is treating her badly right now?”

    Darlin’, you’re currently the backup girlfriend. He uses you to have a shoulder to cry on when GF#1 isn’t available, or to get back at her when he’s angry at her or whatever. You know where you’re at in the pecking order. He’s made it crystal clear. The reason you feel driven to snoop is because you know he’s seeing at least one other woman and putting her needs and desires before yours.

    Is that the place you really want to be? You’ve asked for more, let him know you want a relationship with him free of the ex, and he says you’re insecure if you can’t deal with him stepping out on you. You’re not his girlfriend. The “ex” is his girlfriend. You’re the chick he’s cheating on her with…

    I hope you go out there and find somebody to love who is trustworthy, honest, and loves you right back.

    Peace out.

  3. What a jerk, on behalf of all Pisces I am sorry this guy is treating you so bad. Dump him! Dump him now! Then do something so nice for yourself pronto. In my experience breaking off can be painful for the short term, but soon you will feel much better and wonder why you put up with that guy for so long.

  4. Dear Aries from Aries,

    Your pisces man sounds EXACTLY like my pisces man. I had the same situation (text messages and being ignored) for 2 years. It took a year before I found out about a girlfriend or a so-called “ex.” I dumped my pisces three days ago. Lose him. He will never commit.

  5. Hi,
    Am an aries girl, miserable right now with a pisces man. We have been together for a year now, but its constantly been ups n downs. He says he loves me but his is too casual,its been very difficult.He doesnt reply to text messages and calls whenever it suits him,he explains by saying he forgot or that he can do only one thing at a time.I write poems n make cards but he never resiprocates,I have been telling him that its hurting me and killing me but all he says is sorry. I have tried being patient with him and now I just want to get over it.What suprises me is that he says nothing is wrong and that will only take time.BTW,it was he who convinced me and wooed me into this relationship.He still says he loves me,but there is no communication or intimacy.I want to get out of this. Please help.
    An Aries girl.

  6. Avatar
    another aries woman

    I have just begun seeing apisces man and he is frustrating me already. the exact same things this character does. when he wants to he does… within 3 days he wanted me for himself he wants the freedom but lacks the passion to pursue me, which I require to feel secure in a relationship. He did not call last night but text this morning I about to do switch on him. I am first all else second this early in the relationship I should be head over heals but all he is doing is turning me off… sad because he is so fine!

  7. I recently have also been in a relationship with a very strange and somewhat deceitful Pisces man (I am born on the Pisces Aquarius cusp). I also went through his phone and discovered lots of contact with other women.

    Although I believe that this guy loves me in some twisted way of his own, he is also very emotionally abusive (which is what i would label the guy being discussed above). He also was cheated on in his past and constantly imagines that it is happening again. He also turns things around and makes them my problem.

    Don’t take it girl. It is not you that is messed up it is him, and anyone with any real compassion would not treat you so coldly. You will find a lot better than this guy, but I feel your pain – it takes time.

    Please be careful he sounds like a real messed up loser like the one I had. Don’t let time go by and this guy hurt you worse. Sounds like he has no respect. Just believe that you will find better and imagine the qualities that you are looking for in a good man and leave this man to his pathetic sorrows alone, because I am sure you do not deserve a man like that.

    I made a major, major mistake staying with the one I did for so long. Please don’t let it happen to you. Some people i.e. him, need to fix themselves – you can’t do it for them, and he sounds like a blamer not a responsibility taker. Dump him, go out with the girls and find a good guy that you deserve before more damage is done. Peace and goodluck.

  8. aries from aries with pisces lover,

    i love my man and he loves me.. but he doesnt seem to love himself and i tell him that he cant truly love me if he doesnt love himself first. he says he loves me with the best of his abilities. when we first started seeing each other he was very much still in contact with his ex, but a month or so after dating he cut off all contact with her. i dint snoop around or anything, but i was very intuitive and connected to him and i just knew when he saw her (freaked him and myself out) but ive always been able to read his mind. i would ask questions but he was willing to tell me everything anyway.

    if the connection isent there, i wouldnt waste my time.. as for me, i feel very fortunate to have this pisces man.

  9. Avatar

    Well all it comes down to is that aries is always falling for someone who we know is not suitable for us. With aries wanting is always better than getting. Until we can break through that and actually decide to be happy. I’ve stopped seeing a virgo man that I’ve been chasing for 4 years just recently, its hard but in the end I’m sick of wanting and not getting. Time to be happy and move on. Even though we are very strong willed and assertive its so easy for us to have our spirits broken by not getting what we want. We need to realize that getting out of a relatioship that’s not working doesn’t mean we are giving up. It only means we are ready to be happy. Move on lady chase someone who is also chasing u as well

  10. First of all how old are you “texting” girls? How in any way do you think that is really communicating? The one on one in your face experience is missing. Both sides are cowards to hide behind a piece of technology. A personally secure Pisces man can be the most reciprocal fit for the Aries woman. Is he happy within himself? If he NEEDS you , he’s no good for you.The love of my life is an Aries woman and we will soon and finally be together; I’m 47. We’ve been in love but apart for 30 years. Your pisces men sound confused, but also know that many fishmen are late bloomers and will struggle in so many way’s early in life. you don’t need to put up with their insecurities and their total growth process but i will say that when and if your Pisces men find themselves and make up their mind in the direction they want to go, they are un-stoppable in success and you will be loved cared for totally absolutely and passionately. Patience

  11. I am an Aries woman dating a pisces male and it is the most exhilarating relationship I’ve ever had! He never shuts me out and he treats me with the utmost respect. I’m sorry you ladies had such horrible experiences, but don’t give up there are good pisces men out there.

  12. Hello:
    It is awesome to read other aries woman/pisces man experiences.
    As for me, I have been dating my man for 7 months and have never been so confused. I approaced him but he persued a relationship. He seems withdrawn a lot. I think he is seeing someone else but he dramatically denies it. he can go full 24 hour periods of no contact and never expresses love until I ask him unless I count sex as an expression. It almost seems like his guards are up. He has said “I love you”, but I feel like i am auditioning or something. Can’t figure him out…

  13. Avatar
    a touch of maddness

    Im a pises man you have to understand that my mind is fragmented my lady haves to drag the word love out of my lips. I dont feel the need to use somones thought form of (love) for me love is a sacred process. If i speak the word whoever hears it projects their surface. deffinition of mr webster onto my emotion and this cheappens the definition whils i dont lie to my lady i have a silver toung. I skate arround the truth i leave out details if i know it will hurt my lady. I live my life with my heart. I am a master of emotions this sucks because my will is strong. So in my mastery i need my alone time daily at least 4 hours a day. If i dont get it i refuse to look anyone in the eye. When i do i either absorb what the other persom thinks and feels. I only hug my matrarch pateiorch child and my lady. I dont know how long our relationship will last but i do know that if it comes easy it is not worth it because if evreyone possesed it their would be no magic. Over the years i y.

  14. I’m an aries and ive been seeing my ex pisces guy for five years.. These post sound exactly like my situation they keep in touch with there exs and have other secret relations w bitches, I’m actually upset I gave him the excitement giving birth too has 1st born, the whole time I was pregnant he had another girl pregnant.. There only a month apart. Sucks I wasted so much of my precious time and energy on him.. Aries deserve better, a man that knows wtf they want as far as a relationship. Its ok what goes around comes around KARMA does not miss anybody. I left and let the next bitch stress. Now all he can do is take care of my kid

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