Mercury The Trickster In Real Life

Mercury trickster This is a series of posts, I wrote in 2007. Real life vignettes. Enjoy!

~ One ~ Mercury The Trickster

My husband and I on the phone circa 2007. We’re talking about a time I tried to kill him (and his crotch) with a motorcycle helmet. He was dancing with a girl, right in front of me. The fact I was dancing with a man, right in front of him, was not factor in my mind.

“That helmet thing… you had these two big guys. They were going to help you,” he said. “And you told them, no man. It’s okay. We’re okay. Not a minute later, you’re swinging that helmet at me.”

I laughed.

“You were trying to catch me off guard, but I never let my guard down,” he said. “You don’t remember this, do you?”

“No,” I said, as the memory faded in.

“Well I do. It’s okay. We’re okay. But I didn’t drop my guard because I know how tricky you are.”

I laughed.

“I’d played blackjack with you, couple times,” he said.

I roared.

“Yeah. And my poor compatriots. You’d come on the base and play with them too. All sweet and innocent Elsa, you’d come in there and take them for their nickels and dimes. Whatever they had, you’d take it.”

I just shook my head. I was 17, and busted! 😛

~ Two~ Want Some Pancakes With That?

My husband woke up one day in our apartment. I was sitting on the bed. We were both teenagers. 17 and 19. He looked at the clock and he was late.

“Els! It’s 6:07! What are you doing!” He was panicked. “Why didn’t you wake me up! Look at the time.”

“Oh. Well you looked so tired,” I said, all sweet and loving. “You looked too tired to wake up. I don’t think you should go to work today. You’re just too tired for that.”

“What! What are you talking about!?!” He was incredulous.

“Yeah, you’re tired. Hey! Why don’t you just call in sick? Why don’t you? You don’t look like you got enough sleep to me. I say, call ’em and let’s just stay home and lay in bed all day so you can get some rest. The phone’s right there,” I said, brightly.

He was up out of bed getting dressed. He was flingin’ clothes. Something about “formation” or maybe a “bugle”. I was grinning.

“Are you kidding me? Are you out of your mind? Call who? The Military? Hello, Military? Is this you! I’m tired. I’m not coming in today!”

He stopped and turned to look at me. “Are you crazy? You don’t call in sick to the military! They’ll put your ass in jail!” he yelled, before turning back to frantically look for his second shoe. “Where’s my socks! Els, get me some socks!”

I put the socks in his hand.

“Jail? Oh come on. Don’t you think that sounds a little extreme? Call in sick one day and you go to jail? I find that hard to believe. So do you want some pancakes? I asked.

“Pancakes?” He was truly in shock.

“Yeah. If you’re going to work tired, you definitely better eat. But it would be even better if you just called in sick…”

“I can’t call in sick, Els! Bye! Love you,” he said as he ran out the door with one shoe in his hand.

I laughed my ass off.

He made it in with like a minute to spare. He had to put his shoe on at a stoplight on his motorcycle. And to this day, he thinks I was serious. Yeah. He’s gone around for twenty years telling this story about his idiot civilian girlfriend who told him to call in sick to the military.

~ Three ~ The Famous Musician, What’s His Face?

paganiniI messed with Scott too. Scott s a high falutin’ pianist. I am of course, a dipshit.

We were hanging out one day… one of those days when you never get out of bed. And we were talking about everything and music came up.

Now granted, Scott is a total connoisseur. However, he is also a fool. The conversation went like this.

“Blah, blah, blah, Paganini,” he said

“Paga-who?” I said.

“Paganini,” He said.

“Paaag… Paaagg… what did you say?”

“Paganini,” he said with a smile spreading across his face. ‘What? You can’t say Paganini?” He launched into a robust speech about how great he was.

“Um… yeah well I think I can. Sure, I can say it. Um… Paga… parmesan?” I said with a hapless smile.

He roared. “I can’t believe it! What am I doing with a woman who can’t even say Paganini’s name? Who would believe this? No one!”

I shook my head. “Well, wait. Let me try again,” I said humbly.

“Well, yeah. Why don’t you. Paganini was a great musician and everyone should be able to say his name.”

“Oh. Well, okay. Paga… paga… paganoozi,” I said. “I mean, paga… what was it again?”

He eventually gave up. And yup. To this day he thinks I can’t pronounce Paganini.

In fact when I told him fifteen years after the fact that I was just messing with him that day, he did not believe me.

~Four ~ Catch Me If You Can

My husband and I on the phone, circa 2006. He was talking about something, I don’t remember what.

“Well, you’re the smart one,” I said.

“Right. And what’s that make you? The dumb one?” He laughed.

“Yep. I like you thinking that. I want you convinced,” I said. “That way I can disavow responsibility if something goes wrong. If anything bad happens, it can be your fault. Well gee. How did you let that happen? Smart as you are you should have seen that coming. How do you think you missed…”

“Who is it you think you’re talking to?” he asked, interrupting.

“Er… the smart one.”

16 thoughts on “Mercury The Trickster In Real Life”

      1. Thanks! I have been MIA for quite some time but I never really left here. Your insight and perspective is so important, particularly now that the world seems upside-down. You are very,very much appreciated.

  1. Love this! My husband is a double Gemini with the moon in Leo. My moon is there too.
    We have conversations like those all the time! No sick time in the military! Hahaha!

  2. I think it’s funny, I sent the two big men away so I could beat him myself, though he was able to (barely) dodge the motorcycle helmet, I swung at him (high, then low), with all my might!

    This is a man who was chased from the kitchen by his grandma, wielding a rolling pin. Didn’t faze him, believe me.

  3. Ha! So good! What I would do to see all these stories on tv. Sit down with a big bowl of popcorn and laugh laugh laugh 😂🤣😂

      1. Thank you! We live this way on purpose!

        One of my reasons for posting this stuff right now, is to illustrate, human interaction is where it’s at. Nothing replaces real life with real people.

  4. I really really don’t mean to be rude Elsa, but the pancake story seems exceptionally mean to me. It seems like gaslighting, I don’t really understand why this kind of thing should be acceptable to the other person.

    If someone did this purposefully to me I would really consider walking away because from my perspective it’s just mean spirited since they don’t really care about me and are trying to get me in (seems like pretty serious) trouble and make me confused with no explanation. I would feel that the person is laughing at me and mocking me for fun. One thing I try to never do is mess with other people’s emotions because I know how terrible it feels on their end. But I know I don’t necessarily think like everyone else.

    I almost kept this to myself because I don’t want make you or anyone else feel bad (who needs any more negative comments?), but now that I see how many people in the comments seem to think it’s really funny I would love for someone to try to explain this to me a little bit. If you don’t mind? No one else would feel upset if they were on the receiving end of this? I guess it’s very possible I’m just a sissy?

    I’m having a really hard time understanding how we can view the situation so differently. I would really like to understand. Thanks in advance to anyone who might help me see what I’m missing. <3

    1. You may have had to be there. My husband loved this. He’s told this story, hundreds of times.

      But to your point, both of these men were razor sharp and arrogant beyond belief. Not that I’m complaining. I like these things in a man, obviously. But they are great geniuses, and when you act like this with me, I will trick you. I will end run around you, under your feet and even up your ___ – why? Because I can. Because it’s fun and funny and invigorating and makes life happy and interesting.

      The fact I can do this is one of the main reasons these men are enamored with me… to this day. It might be, we all have Mars in our relationship profile?

      You may also be reading something that isn’t there. I did not purposely let him sleep in… and I am not responsible for the fact he did.

      What I did, was tell jokes, while he frantically tried to get to work on time. It is funny. I did not IMPEDE him from getting to work. I made a funny comment, “time for pancakes, right?” Like it’s blatantly obvious he’ll be skipping breakfast.

      Hall of mirrors. You’re in one too. Really all this means is you would choose not to date me, and hey! I understand. I wouldn’t date me either.

      There is another thing to say here – my husband has Venus in Gemini. He can easily think about getting to work, efficiently while his girlfriend says inane things. Imagine if I sat there, frozen in fear, over the fact he might be late… maybe chewed my fingernails for affect, would that be better? Our life together was fun and interesting and this is why.

      The fact is, he overslept. He was either going to make it to work on time or not. His gf’s banter made it better, not worse, though this was fun for me.

      But you can believe I’m mean-spirited. Have you also heard, I’m Mexican?

      1. I think you’re right, it lacked a little information. It seemed like you were responsible for waking him up and chose not to and instead messed with him. My mistake. That was the main thing that caught my attention.

        The reason I’m even asking about this is because I see this kind of thing has probably happened in my relationship with my Gemini ASC husband (he also has Mercury in Pisces, possibly connected?) and things are extremely strained right now. I’m a straight shooter, but just about everything he says is a “joke.” It can be really hard when I just want things to be clear between us.

        Sorry to bring my relationship into your story, I just thought I might learn something here (which I have!). I would really like to see my relationship improve, but I’m not really sure what to do on my end so I guess m grasping at whatever I can.

        I’ve been very introspective lately about all my relationships… I appreciate the insights. I just realized that Saturn is conjunct my Venus right now. Relationship tests and taking love/money etc. seriously, right? Gotta love astrology…

        And to be clear I absolutely do not think you are being spirited. You’re awesome!
        The fact that you even took the time to respond and share some more info is very kind of you, you could’ve easily ignored my comment. Just trying to see things from a different perspective.

        Hugs, Kate

        1. ” It seemed like you were responsible for waking him up and chose not to and instead messed with him.”

          That would have been psychopathic. In reality, he was scapegoating me – making me responsible. Putting his stress off on me.

          Here is some more insight.
          My husband is a slow riser. I get up like a rocket. I had also just woken up. So this just shows you how fast I can read and respond to a situation.

          1. More evidence, to this day he legit thinks that I legit thought, he could call in sick to the Air Force.
            You see, these men think they are infallible to be honest, most people who meet them, agree! So they have to find someone like me, to not be bored.

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