On the Mars in Scorpio gal, here’s the story…
She’s a hairdresser. She also does waxing and she does a good job. She’s a Pisces with magic and she makes people feel better, regardless of how she feels herself which is often not that well considering she has a Capricorn Moon. And she is just starting out. So when one of her clients asked her to wax this guy… a nudist, she agreed to do it.
So now she’s in a room with this guy and she’s waxing his back. Lying on his stomach, she did not expect him to quietly have an orgasm, however when he got up it was obvious this is what happened and she was shocked and not sure what to do. Should she confront him?
Women don’t really like to confront men. We’re threatened with good reason. She decided to ignore this. Basically she transcended her uncomfortable feelings and tried to be professional. She acted as if he had pissed himself by accident or something and did not draw attention to this. But as she continued to work on him, it became obvious the guy had a kink. And she just wanted him out of her salon. She wanted to get through this ordeal and get this guy out the door but it proved to be very challenging. And at one point he took her hand and placed it on his crotch.
He had a sophisticated diversionary tactic to maneuver her into this. The guy was slick as snot. And feeling she had missed her chance to confront over the semen, she was compliant.
By the time they left the room together, she was completely terrorized so when he casually asked her to book another appointment on his way out the door, she again complied, in shock and on auto-pilot.
Now it took her some days to tell anyone what happened. Because she’s a Pisces, right? And a Capricorn. She was injured but she was going to pretend otherwise. And she was embarrassed over what had happened. And when she did try tell someone he did not her seriously. As a matter of fact, he laughed at her and called her a perv. 🙁
More days passed and then she started mentioning this casually to me and eventually I smelled trouble, big time.
“Look. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want. But I’m getting the strong impression something has happened to you when you were in that room with that guy. And if something did… it did, didn’t it? Well, I think you might want to tell someone because you’re walking around with whatever it is and it seems to be having a bad effect. Um… it seems to be you are walking a little sideways…”
She talked.
And this whole thing was a trespass on her boundaries. This was this guy’s gig. He was sneaky. He was masterful at maneuvering himself well into her un-comfort zone, but not so far that she would freak and scream or something. He was able to control her using classic techniques.
And the sneaking was part of his turn-on. She was supposed to be waxing this guy and all the sudden she’s a sex worker, unbeknownst to her! He was not supposed to get off on what she was doing, for chrissakes! She never dreamed…
So anyway, after this came out, she canceled the appointment she made, etc. She actually took responsibility for him:
“I thought I would be comfortable with this, but I’m not,” she said. “I have to cancel… blah, blah.”
And you’d think that would be the end of it. He got his and now he’s going to go away. But noooo…
After a series of emails turning him away, this guy showed up at the salon.He ambushed her. Knowing she was uncomfortable and unable to defend herself, he showed up to make her more uncomfortable by trying to get her to cut his hair! And she made the appointment for him too! Can you believe that? Intimidation.
So anyway, there were more events. And she has Saturn transiting her first house which indicates it is time to learn to defend yourself against just this kind of thing. Boundary violations! And she’s got this Scorpio Mars. So what do you think? Think she ought to use it?
He manipulated her beyond belief. He was able to read her and exploit her weaknesses. He was able to victimize her. And not only did he molest her, when she reacted in a passive manner, he continued to victimize her. So if you’re me….
Well I had to talk to her. I had to get her to see she had a problem. I had to get her to see that she did not have to cut this guy’s hair!
And this was a job, people. She’s sweet, I said. So when I saw her finally spring into action and become willing to use her Mars (her male energy and ability to fight) I was beyond merely thrilled. And I’ll tell you what she did.
She dissected this guy. There is nothing she doesn’t understand about him or what happened in that room. For example, the guy is not a “nudist”. That was part of his ploy. He has no hang ups, so why should she?
You have to admire his skill, really. He was playing a very sophisticated game and has no doubt victimized scores of women, but once she had him sliced open, exposed and sorted, the power shifted. He became transparent and she became the one who was unpredictable.
This story is still unfolding but I will leave you with my friend,cf’s words…
“If you don’t use your Mars it will be used against you.”
~~
Do you use your Mars?
Wow. What a story. That sick mofo. And everything you described about how your friend reacted was very Piscean. That’s how I react when I’m victimize, shore enough. So I take it this gal is a Pisces Sun, Leo rising. Hmm…
Awesome what you say about using one’s Mars. I have to think about this. I have Mars in Sag. Probably don’t use my Mars enough, no. But I’m getting there. Can you talk more about what cf said regarding Mars? Or have cf talk about it?
It is important to learn to be comfortable with and use both masculine and feminine energies. So many people are disconnected from one or the other because society still enforces clear gender roles. That’s one of the gifts of being gay, IMO, because its been a journey about owning both masculine and feminine aspects of myself and trying to integrate them as a complete person.
Also, Elsa, when you talk about Pisces and how it transcends, well, that sounds like a good thing but in your story, there’s a clear example of how you can transcend and that can be used against you. So, do you have any guidelines as to how to distinguish when you’re transcending for the wrong reasons? Bc as a Pisces Moon I know that this can be very hard to distinguish in the moment, when it’s happening to you, even though it might be clear to others when you tell it later. Pisceans everywhere would love to know!!
I have so much difficulty with Mars! My Mars is in Leo in the 2nd (currently being transited by Saturn and Neptune). I have the Sun and Saturn in Cancer in the 12th. And an Aries moon. So it’s this tug of war between understanding other people’s points of view and asserting mine. Walking the line between getting mine, politely!
Like, if that had happened to me, I would have a tug of war between 1) feeling confused because it’s all subtle and underneath the surface (until I saw the “evidence” of course), 2) feeling sorry for him for being such a loser, and thinking “well, I’ve been sexually frustrated before, I could see how that could happen” (even though I never behaved anywhere close to that!), and 3) feeling totally invaded and pissed off.
But, if it happened to one of my friends, I would totally kick his ass!
Okay, this struck a nerve with what happened to me this morning. I’m Pisces with Capricorn moon as well. Went to pick up a friend and while I was waiting in the parking lot a little old man parked too closely next to me and sure enough, dinged my car when he opened his door. He looked right at me and hobbled into the shop. When he returned I told him he dinged my car (which already was a hugely uncomfortable thing for me to say to him) and he said, “Oh, I try to be careful when I get out of my car.” He acted all helpless, never apologized, never offered to make it good, but asked me if I could please move my car so he could get into his again without hitting mine. What did I do? I moved my car, he said thanks and drove off. I was in utter disbelief about myself more than him, actually.
So, yes, I’d like to have more insight as well. Why the fuck do we let ourselves get run over? Because we don’t want to make someone else uncomfortable is usually my reason…sucky as it is! I’ve been feeling mad at myself all damned day!
What a piece of work that guy is! I hope your friend dropped her client who was originally pimping for him as well as the pervert!
As for using my Mars. No. Unfortunately, I usually just let myself get walked on until I’ve had ENOUGH and then I excise the person from my life permanently and with no chance for discussion or forgiveness (on either part). And my Mars in is Capricorn, too, so I need to learn to handle that energy better, because it’s there with good, positive aspects, too.
I am so glad you were able to sheppard her through all of this…what a creep. What a learning for her.. I experienced sexual abuse as a child and I know this creep energy well.
Pisces Sun, intercepted Mars in Capricorn 2nd house, intercepted Uranus in Cancer 8th house. Mom and dad just weren’t home. Mars didn’t come out to serve me until I reach the age of 37 and remembered who did what to my private parts. Fearless women carry a big sword. Jupiter is asking all of us to expand into our true, Greater Self. Thanks for sharing this.
Oh man, did this story ever resonate with me. I feel awful for your friend, but I would’ve reacted the same way (Pisces Sun, Leo rising, too). Basically, if someone wrongs me, I end up apologising(!) It’s time to put my Mars in Capricorn to good use, but where do I start?
OMG that’s sick and twisted. I hope she managed to get rid of him, even if she didn’t call the cops on his sleazy ass.
I’m learning to use my Cancer Mars more effectively. I think it frequently finds itself overshadowed by my Sun, Venus, and Merc in Aries. I suspect that I’m too busy reacting with all that to give my Mars a fair shot at the fight. It’s kinda confusing really, with all that Mars energy in places other than Mars with the Moon paired with my Mars! Baffling to me, truly.
You see, Elsa?! Help those of us with strong Pisces/Neptune influences. We often confuse compassion with self-sacrifice but we don’t want to be doormats anymore!
I’m a Leo Sun, Pisces Moon, Venus in the 12th house quincunx Neptune.
hee! i’m learning so much about astrology, this is great, Elsa.
turns out i have Mars in Cap, which makes sense, because i fight back when i feel like justice has been violated somehow, when things (especially rules) aren’t “fair,” or people in authority start abusing the rules to suit their own ends. hey! you can’t do that! also big on geting others to stand up for themselves.
heh. just less good at it when i’m the one who has been wronged – it’s somehow easier to stand up for everyone else than to stand up for myself… but i think i’m slowly getting better with that.
Marc – my “gay boyfriend” and i were talking about that just the other day. he was talking about me getting a handle on my masculine energies, and i was telling him that watching his journey was helping me do it. i think you’re bang on with your comment.
I have sun square Mars in Leo. Piss me off and it’s KABOOOMBAH!!!!
It’s probably a good thing I got raised to not blow my top in front of most people. But on my family, I really lose it. Eeek.
My, there’s a lot of Mars in Capricorn in these comments. I’ve got it too. But mine is in the twelfth house, so I don’t really know if I use it or not….
Mars in Pices here and can I ever relate. I would have reacted just as your friend did and hated myself for it. I’m the first one to defend someone else who’s been wronged but when it comes to me I have a hard time sticking up for myself I’m too afraid of hurting anyone’s feelings! I must say I’m stronger now than I used to be, I have a few years and a lot of experience uder my belt now. I would let friends and lover walk all over me untill I would finally blow and then I’d unleash my rath! I’ve got Scorpio moon so when I’m done I’m done. Just wish I could find some balance between being a doormat and an A-bomb!! Glad I found your site Elsa hope you can shed some light on how a woman can use her mars in a positive way. Sorrry I’m rambling but my son is tearing up the house and needs to go to sleep…
EWWW What a creep! You are a good friend to validate and support her through this. I went through a summer almost 20 years ago where I had creeps crawling all over my life and I was amazed at how many people blamed me. Mars in Leo here and I fight back, literally clawing at one guy until he left my apt. Now it’s my kids that my lion side comes out most to protect.
Great story – the figuring this guy out and unhooking herself, I mean. The rest of the story, so incredibly unpleasant.
Do I use my Mars? I have no idea.
Sure I use my Mars, but I have no idea if I do it in a Sag way, sadge mars. No idea what that would look like.
I am totally grossed out by that story…. eeewww!!! I am unsure if i use my mars (scorpio) will have to read up on it more to find out the symptoms!!
My gosh, what an amazing story.
Virgo Mars here. The devil is in the details. I use it probably about as often as it gets used against me. (I’m working on shifting that.) And when I use it, it’s a precision tool with the power of Scorpio moon and ascendant behind it.
“She wanted to get through this ordeal and get this guy out the door but it proved to be very challenging. And at one point he took her hand and placed it on his crotch.”
…and what a soul murdering messed up thing to do to another human being. knowing full well it’s all about you and your use of power and not giving a flying f__ck how diabolical your actions are to the other person, this is your life’s signature refrain.
i’ve met this type before. i think it merciful to let them know you are on to them and their wicked ways too. it sort of keeps the “heaven and earth’s scales of cause and effect” in balance.
O to be a fly on the wall when the sister puts her homework into action (yeah)…who knows it may make him wish an honest to goodness shiatsu session is all he got in the first place.
moon & mars in gemini 12th house; moon & mars trine saturn; mars conjunct ASC & trine MC (still don’t fully understand the significance of all this, but i am learning).
Oh, Elsa. I feel for your friend enormously. Especially being alone in a room with this freak. I hope she is doing better.
Onto the Mars thing, I use it, yes. I have Mars in Aries so it’s all about smashing down walls unless I choose to play it cool. I have a Capricorn Moon, so it is possible. My sun is in Taurus, so the long and the short of it is that unless I am aware I can really, really lose it. You know that red flag/bull thing? That is me when I am pushed to far. And it is easier now that I am older, but when I was a kid it was brutal. Especially with Sagittarius rising. Man!
Last week an acquaintance of mine–who has taken to being a f*cking perrvert to me since he divorced his wife–actually touched me as he made some sexual comment about me.
I turned around and swung the thing I had in my hand at him with full force. Which happened to be a metal pipe.
That’s right! And I made contact with his backpack (he was running away, and who can blame him) and screamed after him at the top of my voice how much I f*cking hated him and if he ever came near me again I’d make sure to bash his head in.
You know what? He is intimidated by me now. He won’t even look me in the eye. And I am glad! And I thank my Aries Mars for this. Though I do not condone hitting people with metal pipes. It just happened to be the thing I had in my hand, and I have been beaten ehough in my life to not swing back anymore.
I am a hair dresser gross me out that kind of client i never need!!!
Beque thanks for the clue, I have Mars in Capricorn in the 12th house too. And that rhymed. Oops. Maybe it explains why I have no clue how I use my Mars or whatever. I can never think of how I act in a confrontation when asked. But yeah, I don’t know what I would do in a situation where someone had a kink like that. But the thing about Pisces’ making people feel better regardless of how they feel is interesting. I think Pisces that I know tend to get a lot of other peoples’ crap put on them.
I seem to be the third Sag mars to comment who isn’t exactly sure what I do with my mars. I hardly ever seem to have these sorts of dreadful situations or creepy people in my life. In fact, I would say creepy people generally keep their distance from me. I don’t seem to actually know any. I would guess that this is because my mars is on my midheaven. in Sag. that’s just a little too out in the open for creeps, you think?
I mostly understand my mars in terms of what I do with my life/study/career, and in my temper, but
what is one supposed to do with Mars in Sag, in terms of interpersonal stuff?
I want to learn more about this- It’s my only personal planet in another sign, and I suspect it may be an untapped resource.
I can’t wait for the rest of this story. I am glad she attacked back, and I want to know how she did it. I wish I could do the same. I was sexually harassed just a few days ago, and it’s the 5th time in 2 years! I am so angry now, the next guy to touch me against my will will suffer. If you have more ideas on this….
Oh my goodness that just pissed me off to no end! Bastard!
“You have to admire his skill, really.”
I do! As I said last week, good for her!
Oh crap, misread that – I admire her skill in uncovering him. I do not admire his skill in manipulating others for his own gain. That’s a serious mis-use of power and he needs to learn that.
Okay, that’s fucked up.
As someone who is just sort of getting into astrology … I can say I’ve had a similar experience to hers. And, well, I have Mars in Scorpio (I think. I checked some website … it seems accurate).
My head is spinning right now …
I used to read Elsa’s blog a few years ago; it is good to hear her voice again.
That is awful. I hope she did what she had to do.
Heck ya I use my mars in cap. I can see all sides before I pounce.
Mars is a pretty pwerful tool especially for us women. I’m blessed with sun in Pisces in12th trine mars in cancer and have always ben able to stand up for myself as a child when my Pisces father,taurus moon Scorpio saturn, restricted my thinking or having opions of my own. The verbal battles Aries mercury 1st, were seemingly endless in my teens. However it has stood me in good stead for one or two similar incidents and I have been strong enough somehow, to overcome the fear of being abandoned.
If we work on our mars and Pluto we can gain our strength and independance that as girls/women we are not taught. Things must change. On that note I am interested in the political discussion going on in UK re the possibility of the introduction of Sharia law wihtin the muslim community of UK? SCary.
great story and inspiring! knowing to fight back and not be victimized.