eva writes on Judging A Person’s Saturn Return
“Well, hang on a minute. When I was 28 I knew about astrology and I knew about Saturn returns. I believed at the time that what “Saturn” meant was that you had to grow up and be responsible, and what I did was, I went back to graduate school, got serious about being a grownup and a parent and spent the next 15 years trying as hard as I could to make something out of my life and being as responsible as I could to my husband, my mother, my brother, my child, the mortgage and society.
It was a mistake. I was buried, I should have stuck with my guitar. And myself.
Maybe most people think that what they picked on their Saturn return was a mistake, because they *didn’t* pick the other thing. So maybe the thing about Saturn is this, Elsa: your Saturn return is the only moment in your life that you have the *entire* world at your feet. One time offer only: you’ve got the time and the energy and the goodwill of the world so make a big wish.
When you’re 35, 40, 50, you look back and say damn, I could have done anything, and I did this.”
eva – Regarding the idea most people think they have chosen wrong, I don’t think this is the case at all. In fact to have those kinds of feelings is probably a natal proclivity just as some think they have done nothing wrong ever and all their problems are the result of outside forces!
As for having the entire world at your feet at the time of your Saturn return, this sounds upside down to me. It is more as if a person is presented with a mountain… not just a mountain but their mountain and they are expected to climb it. This puts them down not up and in your case it sounds as if you possibly climbed another person’s mountain which is easy to do.
For example, I started to identify myself as an astrologer at the time of my Saturn return. No one in the world thinks this is a great career path however I AM an astrologer in every cell of my body so I took this lonely road.
It’s many years later and while I have been punished by a society which disrespects astrology all along, I am deeply satisfied as I know for sure this is my right path and you can see the integrity in that. So the point of the Saturn return is not to meet society’s expectations but to locate your own compass and have the courage to get your ass up the hill.
The idea is to be the adult you are not the adult someone else says you should be and if you don’t manage this… well you are going to be compromised it’s just the way it is.
Skip to Videos: Demystifying the Saturn Return
doublecappy – it is hard for me to respond to this because I don’t recognize my own thoughts when you say them. You are not supposed to have manifested your life by the time you are 30 – You are supposed to have grown up. That’s all. You establish yourself as an adult with integrity or you do not. In the example of the man/boy living at home, he has established himself as a man/boy living at home. It is really no more complicated than that.
Lis – that is extremely common as is marriage. People get serious, simple as that.
But Elsa, what if you “identified” things during your SR, you just didn’t manifest them?
I mean, during my SR, I identified that I was in a bad relationship, wanted to have a garden, a wood house, visit the ocean often, travel, be married, have a spiritual life, write, make a documentary, have a baby . . . and in the following 6-7 years, all those things have been slowly manifesting.
I think I’d earlier interpreted what you said as “If you don’t have it by your SR, you ain’t never gonna get it.” (Well, something like that! 🙂
yeah i like what you said about climbing sombody elses mountain. Lota good THAT will do you ..
However, speaking for myself. I have seen lots of grown ups since I was a child that do not act like grown ups. Legally you are an adult at 18, in this country, and many a 45 year old are having mid life crisis. I have also seen people in there forties who somehow manage to get it together, and appear to be “reponsible” after 40 years of being irrisponsible. More power to em, but this can come at the cost of opportunities opening up for younger folks trying to get it together(and in a timely fashon I might add)which is really annoying. Then there is the baby clock ticking. I have felt alot of pressure, ever since high school to go back to school, but this pressure just never translated into drive. Astrology has helped me sort out many issues in my life, in regards to relationships, but sometimes it feels like the insights come too late. ( so i’m trying to change this) To me this is what saturn feels like. It feels like, whos movies am I in anyway? I don’t want to be in these other peoples movie. Saturn seems to be about making the best out of gooy situations. Like somtimes the mess isn’t worth the cleanup anymore.
Jesus I am not looking forward to my Saturn Return!
My SR wasn’t horrible at all. I accomplished what I wanted–which was starting a family. My first child was born when Saturn was squaring my Sun/Mars, and the SR happened while I was learning how to be a parent.
There’s nothing (IMHO) that gets you out of yourself and makes you aware of your responsibilities than being a parent. After my son (now 8) was born, I went on to have two more babies in the next three years!
I have no idea why that icon posted! I was trying to say, my son is now eight.
Elsa, in fact, I got married when Saturn was transiting exactly opposite my Libra Moon. I met my husband when Saturn opposed my Virgo Venus/Pluto. I wanted these things, and I was serious about getting them–so they manifested.
Foxxy – I am going to try to work on communicating that right now. Videos coming up… I hope. Hold one
Aye, when I had my Saturn return, I finally had to face up to the reality that I was gay and that if I was ever going to be truly happy, no amount of trying to live up to others’ expectations was going to work. So I’m with you Elsa, my Saturn return was all about becoming the person I’ve always been meant to be, rather than the one others’ expected me to be. And while it’s been a hell of a mountain to climb, it really is MY mountain.
So, how do you know the adult you’re supposed to be?
eva – The mountain in the situation you describe is when you have to defend (Saturn) your (eccentric) path to authority.
Okay, what I meant to say what that the people who think they made a mistake — think they made a mistake because they didn’t pick the other thing. And I agree with you that the personality is going to be evident in that judgment. Some people just never second guess themselves and some people spend their whole lives doing that.
:). Guess which one I am.
Also — yeah I climbed someone else’s mountain. But I thought at the time this was the mountain everybody was referring to. Continuing to be myself wouldn’t have seemed mountainous to me at all.
At least from the top of the mountain you can look down with a new perspective, even if it is the wrong mountain eva, so don’t beat yourself up over it.
eva writes:
“:). Eh. Now you tell me.”
You’re tellin’ me. Wish someone would have told me (and the soldier) what the fuck when we were kids! No one did and look what happened to us.
This is why I am writing this…
Might someone be spared?
:). Eh. Now you tell me.
You know, something else I wanted to say was that this is all very generational/historical. We started with the kid who stays with his mom. In some cultures, at some points in history, this was the responsible option if the mom is a widow, which she often is. Or to work in the family business. Or to marry the stable guy your family adores instead of the lead guitarist. Or to get a steady job instead of writing your novel and living on ramen.
Women especially have to take this pretty seriously. To decide you want a career instead of children wasn’t even an option 100 years ago, and 100 years ago you’d be crazy to run off to the circus. Seriously crazy, a bad woman, an outcast…etc.
So when I was 28 this is what “getting serious about your life” meant. It meant giving up your childish fantasies, realizing you had to make something of yourself *in your society*. In my environment there weren’t that many women guitarists. There were a whole lot of comfortable wives, housewives and MBA’s though. You could either marry the law firm partner or get yourself an MBA. That was it, man. Those were the choices.
Anyway, really the point I’m making is that these are *hard* choices. There’s your whole world to assess and even if you think long and hard about it, there can still be regret. There is always the road you didn’t take to wonder about. So — you can either allow the regret or try to find something good about the choices you made. You know…either way, you’ve gotta live em.
I also think that your path should feel challenging but light at the same time. Like you are going up a mountain with a backpack. Travelling someone else’s path or living other people’s ideas of what responsible is, feels heavy, and gets heavier as saturn keeps moving.
Saturn also is the backbone to the rest, if you work on what is limiting you then it frees up any planets in aspect to it. If you don’t then they all get bogged down until you do.
It’s interesting, Eva, because I was off being a bit wild and eccentric back then (all in my chart) – so much so that it hadn’t occurred to me that you were “supposed to” get married by a certain age/have kids/etc…. Although I did want to at that time. Then I woke up and realize everyone had done it but me. So I guess I climbed my own mountain first . . . I established my career, got on a spiritual path, became who I am . . . still. But I don’t think I could have “had it all” –
So, that’s interesting, Liz. I just posted a comment, and I’m realizing (while beating myself up for not getting married at 27-30 and “settling down”) that the actual more difficult path for me was to do the opposite (this really puts a lot in perspective). My family didn’t even want me to go to college, just get a “9-5” as they said. Just kind of lay low, be normal, don’t make a fuss. And I did everything but – I became my authentic self, which is not what they prescribed. I don’t think it was just rebellion, though, as I did “come into my own” like I’m not far off from the energy in my chart.
Now I’m realizing (in my chart) it’s a challenge for me to partner, so I’m taking on that challenge (albeit in a very Cappy way) like another mountain to climb.
Aww… Elsa 🙂
So far I just feel like I am finding out that the stuff I liked and thought I wanted to do in life, well…I have no follow through. Write the novel? Oh please, you’re never going to finish it because novels are just too big for you to get ahold of and you have an ADD brain to boot. Start your own business? Oh, turns out you hate doing the finance part and that’s what utterly ruins the enjoyment of the business for you. I guess the only thing I do want is a boyfriend, but I don’t want my entire damn happiness to come from chasing a male, and I’m not willing to go through hell, high water, and all the wrong guys to find one any more. So I guess I don’t want that that much either.
In short: I just don’t want anything enough to go after it. So my mountain is that…I guess now that I’m free to go after that stuff, I don’t WANT to climb it. Man, do I ever feel like a stoopid idiot.
When I hit my saturn return, doublecappy, I owned a house with a dependent mate when all I wanted to do was be free to travel/learn. It all felt heavy and boring (I call it the “wall-mart lifestyle”). I have saturn in cancer in the 9th. It all ended and I sold the house. I am now conscious of my need to control my feelings (saturn/cancer) through spiritual means (9th) so do yoga. It makes all the difference. Now I feel I COULD do the relationship and baby thing, and would like to (at 33), ONLY if I keep doing the yoga and have time to spend alone to regain balance (libra planets in the 12th). If I find someone who can understand and support that then I’d be fine. If not.. if I stopped doing the yoga or feeling free to travel/learn, I’m sure the pressure would build again.
Jennifer, I can relate. I’m like you too. My saturn return really turned my life upside down but I didn’t really get it, so now it’s my Uranus Opposition and I am GETTING IT. You kind of do have to pick something and set sail. You are just not allowed to sit still and let the waves toss you around or you will hit those rocks mighty quick.
Wonderful comments! Jennifer- I am willing to bet that you could write that novel. As for chasing down a boyfriend, I bet you could do that without even getting winded. Your smart too, don’t let anybody especially yourself say otherwise. Taking time to figure out what you want to do with your life is OK. I didn’t figure this out until I was 39 after about 11 years of pondering and trying to figure out how the hell to change from what I was doing. I will probably do some other completely different things when I am 60. Sometimes we struggle so frigging hard with this stuff instead of laughing at ourselves, having fun and making every day a holiday even if it’s not. Just think of the fun you haven’t had yet!
Liz, it took me a long time to learn this about myself – for 17 years I was with partners who were “just like me” – and now I’m realizing I need someone not me :). . . someone to ground me, “keep me in line” (so to speak) and let me be me. I can make a really good partner this way.
And yes, continuing with the things that support *you* would leave everyone better off, I’ll bet.
‘So the point of the Saturn return is not to meet society’s expectations but to locate your own compass and have the courage to get your ass up the hill.’
That is just beautiful! I’ll remember it.