I’m in my last year of university, but I feel it’s hard to move forward to what is next in my life. Ever since I’ve been 15, my sex drive has been non-existent. I remember it was very strong for a bit, but I felt very guilty about it and the feelings I was experiencing. Some of them were unacceptable to me – so much so that it gave me tremendous grief.
One day I just stopped feeling the drives though, and since then I have been going through life without them. I have OCD symptoms, but I do have Scorpio and Pluto prominent in my chart which could just be me wrestling with my subconscious and with my ego. I want to move forward in life in regards to relationships, but doctors and counselors seem to have few ideas. I’m also tremendously sensitive and have a Piscean like compassion for others, even strangers, and I’m not vindictive or aggressive like a typical Scorpio. Could this be me being out of touch with my mars energy (sex drive)?
Any insight would be greatly appreciated!
Scorpio Rising
Dear Scorpio,
Your question doesn’t really fit the format of my blog as it’s akin to a personal reading. Further, your issues are obviously complex and probably not well suited to being addressed on advice blog.
However I am going to answer your question anyway, because I feel for you and because your chart strongly interacts with mine and leads me to think I may be able to help you which I think you strongly deserve. So I’m just going to talk straight and my editor can look the other way for a day.
On the thwarted Mars energy, my position on this is very clear. Repress your sex and anger (Mars) at your own peril and in your case this is especially the case. For one, you’re a Scorpio rising, so Mars rules the chart. Nothing is more important to you than Mars! And the rising is your physical body, so when you fail to express your Mars, your body is getting jacked beyond belief.
Now consider your Mars is in Aries which obviously want to go, Go, GO and further, it is conjunct both Venus and Mercury… opposite Pluto and I have to say this is one hell of a motherfucker you are trying to suppress. And how do you think this is going to play?
It’s going to play where it sits, in the 6th house, for good or ill.
Use your Mars = excellent health. Repress your Mars and you’ll see it turn inward and eat you alive.
What do you think Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is? It’s 6th house (daily routine / the mind / Virgo stuff) run amok! Helllllo! You need to fuck! You need to fuck and fight and be heroic and you need to do this every day just to maintain your health. So let’s talk about what happened when you were 15.
15 is puberty, you know. That means there is a flood of hormones. And have you looked at the astrology back then? I did. And Uranus (experimentation) was squaring all that Mars mess in Aries. Comprendo? So apparently when those dogs got out, they went so crazy they scared the hell out of you – so let’s address that.
First, if this is something as simple as homosexuality, well for Godsakes get over it. You have plenty of company. There are legions of homosexuals out there who will be happy to have you join them, and if it’s otherwise?
So what? At fifteen years old, you think you’re the first person who ever thought of it. Well take it from a fellow Mars Mercury, okay? You’re not! And some of this taboo stuff… try it once. Face your big fear about it and what you find out is it’s not that compelling after all. You get it out of your system!
So here’s my theory:
You’re innately very sexual but there are still periods where things will flare. Like during a Uranus transit, obviously. Uranus wants to break rules! So unfortunately you encountered one of these times in conjunction with puberty which was akin to a “perfect storm” and you became overwhelmed.
And being sensitive somewhat puritan with your 6th house, you nixed this whole deal and you are now suffering OCD due the stress of repression with more ailments on the horizon, no doubt if you do opt to own this energy.
So there you go. And PS, not all Scorpios are aggressive and vindictive.
Good luck.
I am glad you wrote back to this sensitive soul. I think your advice and reading were so right on. In my astrological work, the repression of Mars energy has caused more grief and ill health than ANYTHING ELSE I have seen. Even worse than Pluto stuff. Well, maybe not– I’ve seen someo pretty scary Plutonian explosions in people’s lives.. but the repression cycles go on FOREVER unless dealt with,Pluto just,well, explodes.. and gets on with.. Good for you for helping this troubled soul!
Thank you Elsa for writing this. While my situation is vastly different from this person’s, I am a Scorpio ascendant who sometimes represses that Mars energy.
I think you can’t help but write universal truths, even when answering a very individualized question.
Beautiful! Just beautiful, Elsa. I KNOW exactly what Scorpio Rising is going through because I did just about everything a person could do (except children and animals) and worse yet….I let other people do these things to me.
Now, I could do one of two things…..stress and obsess over it….or let it go and chalk it up to NEEDING to experience those “dark” matters.
I’ve been called every name (in reference to my sexuality) in the book and yet what I kept hearing from ALL those people with their descriptive nouns was this……THEY had the problem with their sexuality….not me.
For some unknown reason societal norms dictate who can do what with their penises and vaginas….and anuses. Now the way I look at is if I am with a consenting adult then it is nobody’s business what I do with my “parts”.
I really doubt the “Almighty” is lookin’ down here saying, ” I wonder what Scorpio Rising, or jamie, or elsa, or bill, or george, or Mary is doing with his or her “parts” right now?” Who is he/she doin’?” If that is all that he is concerned about (or obssessed about as is our society) then it does not really matter what or who you did because we ALL are fucked anyway.
Let it go, as Elsa says, and be extremely happy that you are such a wonderful person. Peace to you, Scorpio Rising.
Wow! I am seriously mars influenced and have repressed what seems like every bit of it. I have Aries Sun, Taurus Moon, Aries Mercury and Venus. I have NO sex drive at all. And amazingly enough, I find myself becoming more obsessive and anxious. Maybe you’re right, sex is the answer.
Not to mention my Pluto in Scorpio in the 12th(in retrograde) and Scorpio as my ascendant. All bad.
Wow! I’m so glad I found this. Scorpio ascendant with a Mars conjunct venus in aries opposite my libra moon. That mars/venus opposite moon axis shows up a lot. Mine and my husbands composite chart has a jupiter/saturn conjunction on my moon opposite composite sun/venus/Mars on my venus mars. I was super sexual when I was 21. I was a Christian school girl who seemed to release the beast at that age. I explored my sexuality quite vigorously with whomever I chose. I met my now husband and we fell in love at first sight…pregnant two weeks later. …point of my story is now 10 years later i barely feel like having sex. I’m not sure if you give ahoot about vesta but it’s exact on my Mars. When I’m more spiritually devoted it seems i abstain. I still feel this sexual warrior energy but can’t find the release valve. For awhile now I had pain in my lower abdomen and sex really hurts when I do conjure up the gusto for my husband. Since my Mars is opposite my moon I’ve been wondering if my inability to have my Martian release is wrecking havoc on my female system. Saturn is on my ascendant and on the day it went exact it hit me that I might have something seriously wrong going on. I hope to get health insurance by the March 2015 last exact uranus pluto square. Thank you for answering this persons inquiry. You’ve said things I’ve kinda felt.
Oh and I also have OCD
My first thought reading this: Past life guilt from raping someone or of being the victim of such.
OCD: Distraction from experiencing lower octave primal desire. The psyche’s way to ward off unwanted subconscious bodily energies.
Mars retrograde natally would also indicate someone who sublimates the will and desire nature by internal or external regulation.
Past life regression might prove beneficial along with an understanding of karmic patterns; planets square S. Node. Perhaps heavy Saturn or Uranus (shock) afflicting Mars.
Clearing vows of chastity has proven somewhat helpful to some with previous lifetimes spent in ascetic vocations if discovered during regression.
Everything is karmic….
We all get to be on the receiving end of ourselves at some point during our evolution as souls.
Welcome. Rose. 🙂
Hi Elsa,
I’ve written your blog before, can’t remember my password, but Joining back to say this resonated with me so much I nearly cried. I am scorpio rising as well, venus and mars in aries, mars opposite pluto and I am so sexually repressed and suffering from serious inertia. Saturn aspects my Mars in a trine, my moon squares neptune, and I always through intermittent periods of depression. It’s a struggle to claim my mars, i doubt myself constantly and sabotage situations sometimes deliberately. I must continue to work on harnessing my mars and not evade and escape from it ( I’ve got moon in pisces so go figure plus sun in taurus) I was at a low point and doing a search and this blog post came up and it was a brilliant kick up the you know what to get my sh*t into gear.
Thank you for your advice, it hit home.