Pessimists vs Optimists 

venus mars statueTonya wrote on Venus Inconjunct Pluto – Projection:

“The bottom line is that not everyone is an optimist. There are those of us that are pessimists or what I call realists. The crap seems to keep coming and no matter what one tries to do to stop it, it keeps coming. Troubles are multiplying for a lot of folks and the saying is true that misery loves company and then there is the fact that Pessimists and Optimists just can’t get along, because they irritate each other to no end.”

Very interesting comment. Thank you!

I tend to attract depressive people. I’ve never thought of them as pessimistic, though. We seem to balance each other. This seems more like some people expect to get along with others, some people do not.

I got my philosophy from my grandfather, Henry. He told me that most people were good. He said you should treat everyone as a friend until and unless they proved to be disagreeable. I’ve done this all my life and it’s served me beautifully. Your expectations have a lot to do with what actually occurs in your life.

Another point: I could never do this job if I did not feel confident I could relate to whoever might hire me. This is people from all over the world!

My grandfather really set me up for success on this front. I not only expect to get along with a stranger. I expect to enjoy a mutual benefit from the interaction, one hundred percent of the time. It’s a rare that things go badly.

This may be courtesy the Venus Mars sexitle in my chart. People underrate things like that.

Are you an optimist or a pessimist (realist)? When meeting someone new, do you expect to be able to connect with them in a way that is positive? What’s the astrology?


31 thoughts on “Pessimists vs Optimists ”

  1. “Are you an optimist or a pessimist (realist)? When meeting someone new, do you expect to be able to connect with them in a way that is positive? What’s the astrology?”

    In spite of everything, and regardless of the fact that I’m in a very dark place at the moment, my true nature is optimist. I too believe that “your expectations have a lot to do with what actually occurs in your life”. I am a Libra and it’s in my DNA to be kind to people; shyness and intimacy issues aside I know that something good ALWAYS, always comes out of meeting something new, even if it’s “just” about small bits of information that enrich my cultural baggage. My Venus and Mars don’t aspect each other, but I have Jupiter trining my otherwise very afflicted Moon.

  2. I’m an optimist! I think the astrology, in my chart anyway, is Jupiter, 9H in Taurus, trines moon, Uranus, Pluto, Venus, Mercury. Even his opposition to Neptune comes out good lots of times. I tend to believe in people. A lot. Until they decimate me, but I’m optimistic overall!

  3. I’m unsure of which. My friends tell me that I’m generally a happy guy until something really fucks with me, particularly a relationship or a deep family issue I can’t solve or shake. I’m ruled by my Moon, so I go through motions regularly. Plus, it’s opposing Pluto and squaring my Ascendant.
    On that note, I tend to thrive when meeting new people, partly due to my Ascendant in Cancer. Helps me feel the way they do, so of like how a chameleon blends in with the background in which it walks along. I use that to my advantage. Plus, being an Army brat and Air Force myself, moving around a lot allowed me to in the long run expose me to different people and cultures and refine my approach.

  4. I did not expect this. Lol. Right now, there is a lot of jealousy and strife going on between my husband’s dad and sister. My sister in law caused a lot of trouble out of spite and jealousy, But go figure, I have Scorpio on my 9th of in laws. My father in law and his daughter are so much alike it is frightening. And it seems that no matter what we do, we are just caught in the middle. Not to mention that all of my life, every time I have gotten my hopes up for something, it has always failed. So, I am one of those pessimists (realists) My astro data is: Born on September 21, 1970 at 5.33pm in Killeen, Texas.
    There is so much going on in my life right now, and it seems that it keeps getting worse. I do think of all the people that have it even worse and I always say prayers for them. Sorry to sound so depressive, I guess I am going through my mid-life crisis.

  5. I’m an optimist (Sag sun, mercury, mars, venus, and ascendant). I have been kicked when I was down, been blind-sided by betrayal, cruelty from others, and some very hard life lessons but I truly believe that 99% of people are good. If someone proves to me that they aren’t trustworthy or chooses to be deliberately unkind then I walk away. I don’t get mad and I don’t exact revenge I just write them off and usually never speak or think of them again. They simply aren’t worth my time. There are over 7 billion people in the world and why would I let one asshole screw up my day or life?
    There was only one time in my life when I had moderate depression and got treatment for it (about 6 months of meds and counseling). I did not know at the time I had solar arc pluto conjunct my MC and transit pluto hitting all of those personal planets in Sag. But even then I knew I would get through it eventually. I knew that a new day would come and bring brighter horizons and greener grass.

  6. I tend to always believe the best is yet to come, but I don’t generally trust people, even though I do initially look for the good in them. I never look for the bad first, so I must be an optimist.

  7. I think there are some people – probably quite a few people who just don’t like anyone. No one is ever good enough. It’s got to be a defense.

    1. This was the last guy I fell I love with and dated. He said ” we’re almost perfect for eachother”. And that wasn’t good enough for him. I thought the same thing but was stoked to find something “almost perfect”. Hes still holding onto the idea of perfection which is the main reason he’s depressed.

  8. I’m glad you used the term “realist”. I don’t like having to use the term “pessimist” to describe myself, or others who are willing to see things the way they are. The facts. I think it’s unusual to find pure optimists or pessimists. But the few pure optimists I’ve met did drive me crazy to some degree. Mainly because it’s very difficult to get them to be logical sometimes. Or accept that life isn’t fair. Didn’t mean I didn’t like them… Because I find that trait rather endearing. If you have to work with them to accomplish something it can make things difficult though.

  9. Despite the fact my moon conjunct saturn puts the brakes on and as it’s in the 12th house I do sometimes go underground I love meeting new people and as I live abroad the one foreigner amongst the locals I have to work harder to gain trust. The people I live amongst are naturally reserved so they are a little unsure of me, but I open up anyway, I have Jupiter trine ascendant (gemini – yes, love a chat), venus trine ascendant, venus sextile moon / saturn, moon / saturn sextile ascendant, mars trine venus. I don’t have any planets in Leo but i have a stellium in fifth house so I think that helps too. I get blocks however but overall an optimist!

  10. Believe it or not I’m an optimist. Despite all kinds of saturn and pluto in my chart. When I boil it down I know in my heart that life has meaning. I don’t always have to understand what’s happening in front of me. But I know that something positive can come out of ANY situation. Even victimhood, abuse, neglect, etc. Something might be lost in the process but that’s nature. It’s finite. I think the people that understand this about life aren’t always the happiest but I do think they’re the most fulfilled.

    As far as pessimists go, well they come into my life. I attract sad people like elsa. But I can’t hang out with them for long if they’re worshipping their own sadness or clinging too tightly to it.

    I think it takes bravery to be hopeful and actually care. Most of the pessimists I’ve met are cowards. Sorry it’s just what I’ve seen. But I still have hope for them! Cause I’m an optimist.

  11. 80% optimist…there is also the realist in me. Usually when someone is sooo heavy on being ungrateful, I steer away. I have Venus conjunct Saturn and debbie downers are a drag. 🙂

  12. I also think being delusional and ignoring imperfection does not make one an optimist. I think seeing the hope in reality makes one an optimist.
    Actually when I think about it pessimists are delusional too. They’re denying half of the picture too.
    I guess I have issues with pessimists being called “realists”. I don’t think the terms are always interchangeable. The last pessimist that I met was in denial about all kinds of opportunities that were right in front of his face.

  13. I don’t buy the idea that to be optimistic is to be unrealistic.

    I think I am making Tonya’s point.:)

    I also don’t understand why people have to be split down the middle ALL. THE. TIME.

    You have to be either/or. For or against.

    The person thinks they are realist might be the most deluded one in the room!

    Saturn Neptune will illustrate this over the next 18 months.

  14. Total optimist. I always think things can be better, can get better. And if they don’t, dump that, start fresh and expect the best.

  15. I expect to get along with strangers and love meeting and connecting with new people. Family on the other hand. . .I’m working on that one, lol!

  16. Avatar
    Warped by Wuthering Heights

    I’m always optimistic about new people and places, sometimes perhaps too optimistic — end up ripped off. Then go all cynical for a while. Can be relentlessly Pollyanna-ish when situations are hopeless, simply to try to cheer others.
    I get along with and am enriched by most people I meet, always eager to meet more. It’s only myself I have trouble getting along with!

  17. Almost the same as Dark Aquarian. (we have similar birth charts too it seems) I also moved a lot but not because of the military…I wish that were the case.

    I feel almost exactly as D.A. does … people see me as generally happy and optimistic. You have to throw the first punch to see me as the other. And its there. I can be both.

  18. Mars Venus. Interesting. Something to chew on. I am getting down to understanding the personal planets. It took me forever to gain some semblence of understanding jupiter. Personal planets are interesting because they seem to be so flavored by the aspects to them and sign placement. Or so I am considering at the moment.

    I heard a good one yesterday at the grad party. I don’t know what started it but someone at the table said I always hated Winnie the Pooh, which led to a conversation about children’s literature. But leave it to Aries to say, someone asked Eor why he was always so glum and whiney and he replied it’s because he has a nail in his arse. I find that hysterical.

    1. You are talking about Eeyore and he is my favorite Winnie the Pooh character. It just goes to show that not everyone can be the bouncy, friendly and always happy Tigger. Another analogy, morning people vs night people and how at work they usually gripe about each other for some reason or another. I am an either or person and I chalk it up to my strong Pluto and Saturn in my chart. I spent a lot of time growing up with my maternal grandparents and since my 3rd house of relatives holds Saturn, they were very Saturnish. There was no laughing, because if one laughed too much today, one would cry on the ‘morrow. Also if one laughed too much, one was told enough is enough and too much gets nasty. That does not mean that I don’t laugh and have fun, because I do. However, I have also learned that it is very true that when one laughs a lot, they do end up in tears. I will give you an example of something that happened in October of 2005. I was eating dinner with my grandparents and my uncle was there too. He said something that got me laughing at the table and that was not allowed. Well, my grandfather missed what my uncle had said and snapped at me, “This is no place for laughter!” To me, that made me laugh even more. I was desperately trying to stop and my uncle smirked at me and left the table. Now, my grandmother was sitting at her snack bar watching my uncle and me with our exchange and she was frowning disapprovingly at us. And again, I had to bite my jaws to keep from bursting into laughter. My grandparents were always the type to laugh if someone got hurt. They would howl in laughter at other’s pain. So, yeah, I am kind of messed up.

  19. A Pessimist who views themselves a Realist is an Optimist.
    I am an Optimist that views myself as a Realist.

  20. Avatar
    Warped by Wuthering Heights

    Oh Tonya, that is so sad, I’m sorry you had to grow up in such a hostile environment. You’ve got to “wash those grandparents right out of your hair” — live, laugh, and love. I probably would’ve “accidentally” spilled hot soup on them, give ’em something to laugh about!

  21. Sometimes I think something will work sometimes I don’t and sometimes I am just skeptical. It’s more situational for me. I don’t think I am flat out either. More and more I just observe and see how it goes. It seems to be more fun that way. I don’t have to decide. And I suppose I could say I try to make the best of situations. As far as meeting new people, I never know what to expect. Best wait and see. Time will tell.

  22. I don’t completely understand why Mars or Venus would affect optimism.

    I do see a common thread of Jupiter in a lot of the optimist responses. And I bet Saturn is there in the so called ‘realists” I have both very strong in my chart so I swing from one to the other. Luckily my Sag Moon wins out most of the time but Saturn in 1st gives it a hard run for the money!!!

    I do get down but I always get up again. Saturn in Scorpio does not always trust or see the best in people but Sag Moon and Venus in Gemini does!!!

    I have Mars Venus squared … my personal relationships are never boring!!!!

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