This is the next bit from days of yore. I am still leading to my fresh thoughts on this subject…
My sister also gravitates towards a certain physical type, we noted that although the men we choose are akin to our father, they are also very distinctly different from him. My type is also different from hers and we concluded that while the opposite sex parent may have some play, there is more to the story. She wondered about past lives for example while I just wondered in general.
Might you arrive in this world with the shred of an outline? Are we half-done puzzles looking for the missing pieces of ourselves and some subconscious knowledge of what they may look like? As always, I am an extreme example.
Not only do I go for a certain physical type, roughly 95% of the men I have ever been involved with have been either an artist or an engineer. Many of them are both. They are artists with aptitude for engineering or they are engineers with art as a sideline.
They say you find people who have qualities you have yet to discover in yourself. However I have no engineering ability. As a matter of fact, I am pretty sure I am missing that entire lobe of my brain, so then how is this explained?
And then there is the astrology and it took me years to notice this. I was onto the artist / engineer thing in my 20’s but it was rather recently I realized again, that roughly 95% of men who have been significant in my life have either Moon in Scorpio, or Moon in Aquarius. Since high school, this is. Since I was 13, and I can see why. I am an intense eccentric!
However, this is still a very narrow focus. It’s extremely narrow. It is embarrassingly narrow except for the fact I’m sort of proud to me.
So I have a serious imprint and I am not alone. According to the poll on this blog, 65% of you cop to being in a similar situation. 22% of you also have a strong preference to certain people though it’s basis is something other than the physical. . So where do these imprints come from?
If you have a strong preference for a certain type, do you have any idea where it is rooted? How did it originate?
The gentlemen I used to date were pretty similar in appearance to my dad…dark hair, lighter eyes, tending towards a lankier and taller build. That really freaked me out, maybe a result of a suppressed childhood pdsd (post divorce stress disorder). The last three years the men in my life have tended to be more stocky and outdoorsy looking…still artsy, creative and inspired though less intellectually eccentric…
Best.
I have a definite type I like, sort of big bear men. But I didn’t marry one. And all the big bear men I’ve been with were really wrong for me as in we fought all the time. Too much bear in my ownself I suppose. But I married ‘an intellect’ because without that the relationship is over in a few montsh—-Venus in Aquarius likes lots of discussion and someone to tell me I am smart or I get bored and insecure.
I have a strong imprint too, (even though i rarely get to date the people I like), i think the imprint is problably from past lifes.
I do have a pattern, which I was shocked to notice. Three husbands, 2 serious boyfriends, all have R.E. for first and middle initials. For the life of me, I do not know how I managed this.
hi Elsa
Yeah my preference changed when I began dating. I always prefered a blue-ish eyed, sandy haired guy. Then most everyone I ended up dating had brown eyes. No one in my family has brown eyes. My B. mother did but I only ever saw her for a day, so where did this come from? Could it be the dog I grew up with from an infant in foster care, and perhaps a tiny throwback to b.mother?
Then again I’ve had PL in Native american tribes, soo. To this day I have more trust for a brown eyed guy (as far as dating).
btw I love the sweater in the photo, super!
nyx
Bald! What the heck is up with that? I hate facial hair. It reminds me of my Dad, who I love, has a massive, bushy, black do. And a moustache. So I guess I am veered to “not-Dad.”
I like bear, as well! But I also lust after tall, lanky men and women.
Past lives? I think that my patterns there play out in a emotional, not physical way.
Oh, there are a few other patterns:
dead siblings or parent
drug or alcohol dependancy
stubbornness
shy
hmmm… past life patterns? possibly!
…and I have never dated a person who yells or argues in public.
i like gentleness.
Of course my idea of whatever my “type” is is probably bullshit or filler right now because it seems to be whatever is fashionable, since I like Aquarians so much, some whose birthday falls upon the same day as my mom, I possibly seek out men like my mom (Cancer). My dad’s a Capricorn and kind of a provider so I don’t know if I’ve gravitated towards people like that.
My physical type is lanky and dark-featured. Or TAP (tall and pointy) as my friend calls it.
I don’t know if it’s vicarious living, because I’m short, stocky and pink or just that the mix of genes would be the best. Those long limbs just look so elegant…
Emotionally, I tend to go for guys that ignore me half of the time- it’s what I’m used to. If a guy gave me the support and attention I needed I’ probably freak out and dump him.
I think I have had the most varied boyfriends/dates in terms of physical appearance. I have this type I am drawn to but I have dated only one who fit it and we were not fully compatiable. That type is tall dark-haired WASP/preppie (think Stephen Colbert, or Christian Bale in ‘American Psycho’). Maybe one day. Strong contrast to my appearance: petite, chubby, blonde curly hair, and takes after my German Jewish father. Ahem, this type does look a lot like my own mother (English & Scots-Irish, but pretty dark with blue-green eyes), to whom I am close. Step-father was also dark haired and blue-eyed, but not WASP-y.
I also find many racially mixed people very attractive. I guess, biologically, I think the wider the gene pool the better the specimen! 😉
Emotionally, most of them have been the mellow type (my strongest emotional relationships have been to Tauruses, presumably because their suns opposed my Scorpio moon, and their Venusian earthiness appealed enormously to my Pisces sun).
I have an interesting story about that. All my life I have always had an attraction for men with jet black/very dark brown hair (eye color wasn’t as important, but I seemed to go for dark eyes as well). For awhile I thought it might have to do with Welsh or Irish heritage in my background.I also have some Native American background. However, when my first relaionship turned out to be emotionally abusive (he fit this type), I was so traumatized, I did not want anyone who looked remotely like him. (I don’t have anything against people with dark hair of course, and can even be friends with them. But for personal reasons I didn’t want to be involved with anyone who looked remotely like this other guy).
So, like in the Secret, I placed my order with the universe. I said I wanted the exact opposite of this guy. In every way. I wanted a man with blue eyes and lighter hair. Even a slightly different build would be nice. I wanted him to be smart and nice and treat me well, too. I even made up a fake name. I called him “Jerry”.
Long story short, 6 months after my breakup I met my “Jerry”. (My father in law’s name happens to be Jerry! Psychic!) It’s hard to explain, but he really does look like the mental picture I had of him in my mind. Even hazy facial features match.
We’ve been married 2 years and are very happy. I think that life circumstances made me redirect what I thought I wanted, but really I probably had the psychic imprint of my “Jerry” all along.
I have very strong imprint and I deeply believe it has something to do with past lives. I am drawn to creative, art types, a bit rebellious, tortured by their demons, and so on. When I was younger, long hair was a must, not so anymore, but sometimes I still catch myself turning around on the street just because of the hair.
Thing is, I never dated these kind of guys. I’m not even sure if it would work, because at the end of the day, I want someone I can rely on.
I do look for very intelligent guys who can be my equal in every conversation. I have venus aquarius conjunct mercury in 3rd, so verbal thing is kind of a big thing for me.
The only man to ever turn me inside out and upside down was the one closest physically and who had the presence of my grandfather who I loved with all my heart. It’s been a year and a half and I’m still not over him. Frick. I hate to admit that. Anyway, I am sold on karmic connections. For good or bad these relationships have to play out.
I love tall, skinny dudes with either brown/hazel or black/blue hair/eyes. My exes have tons in common to the point where it is quite disturbing, and some of the in-common things were downright freaky. I definitely need to have a weird fellow around or else I am very bored.
I kind of wonder if any of that physical stuff came from watching too much Remington Steele as a child, though. (One of my exes had a trait in common with the character, and I gather he got really sick of the jokes in the 80’s.) Beyond that I can only deduce that somewhere inside me I know what the packaging of “the one” (if such a thing exists) is supposed to come in.
Lately I am starting to wonder about myself now that a few celebrity crushes have brown eyes, which I have NEVER gone for. What does that mean?
All my men have had tall, barrel chested with strong features, olive skin, good with animals. I trace it my Italian Dad (Aries Sun/Taurus Moon), and my cowboy uncle (Scorpion Sun/Sag Moon).
I think I’ve been with every shape/size/colour, etc. on the planet. While I have admitted a preference for pale men w/dark hair in the past, there’s always that rogue blond haired/blue eyed man who totally captures my heart. I think there’s definitely more than a little truth to this theory of looking for someone different though. Because aside from height, my new beau is almost exactly opposite my ex in the looks department. 😉
I like men with close male friends.
I also like men who have a high EQ.
The EQ thing may be because of my brother – he and I have always gotten along well, and it’s partly because he can navigate my moods.
The close male friend thing? … I don’t know, but that one is *deeply* rooted. Go figure!
figured out why i have two physical types. pretty closely echo the two men i bounced between being obsessed with (on an hour by hour basis sometimes) in 8th/9th grade….
and certain qualities of character i’ve grown to appreciate… from several sources, mostly the men in my family.
I have 2 preferences 🙂
Signed, Gemini 🙂
The most important men in my Life and the ones that got me really invested emotionally were/are all musicians. My opposite sex parent doesn’t play out in this dynamic since I never met him, and he died when I was 7-ish.
As for the physical type, the dark *long* hair/blue or green eyes/moustache/beard combo gets me every time. EVERY. TIME. I realized this back when Pluto was aspecting my Moon, too. It’s like I can’t escape that. I appreciate the Beauty of men in every shape, but when I come across a long-haired guy with a deep, brooding look and some facial hair, man, I’m sold. It’s like I’m genetically programmed to drool over that type of man.
All of my long-terms have been doubles…first man I lived with was double fire (Leo sun, Sagittarius moon). Next was double Libra. Then double Leo. Ex-boyfriend is Capricorn sun Taurus moon. I have mostly fallen for Capricorns and Leos. I like dark eyes and strong hands that can fix things.
Yes. No matter what, there is always something neat about them. Even if they have tattoos or only wear jeans and t-shirts most of the time. There’s just something neat and tidy underlying anything they have or do on the outside. Always good with finances. Far less dreamy or scattered than I am. Usually some Virgo in them, even if it’s just a moon or Mars. Gah….I am projecting what I need! Pisces 7th house!
Strangely my relationships have been with different types. But my type is definitely dark hair and intellectual. I have no idea where this originates from and I don’t care. lol
I don’t think I have a type or pattern to my men. I have a favorite, he was a Taurus with Pisces moon.
My long terms were with the same sun as me, and another with the same moon as me.
Pisces strongly factors in flings… As does Aries/first house. I have no Aries.