There are people I feel I could never be honest with. I’m not talking about clients. I’m talking to people, in life, to whom I could never, ever, say what I think. I would never try to clear the air; never try to explain something; never confront or challenge them. These are the “perfectly balanced” people, I mentioned in this post:
They are just too fragile. Or they’re too defended. Or they are too dangerous! Dangerous, literally, or dangerous because they could implode in some way. I’d blame myself. I’m talking about having to change my behavior in order to converse or spend time with a person. I will avoid this, if at all possible.
I wrote the prior post to talk about this, but didn’t manage to get it done. Sorry! This is on my mind, because, “find friends”, but how?
I know this is a personal problem to a significant extent. I am the candid weirdo here. I am the one who’s toured, hell, over and over again; I’d the one with the jacked background, but most of all, I am the one raised by Aquarians.
Even my grandfather, Henry, stood on his head in grocery stores. I liked this! I liked the fact, my mother, stood up to the city, who persecuting an artist who failed to deal with the weeds in his yard. I’m not designed to comply with the majority. Come on! Let’s look at my history:
Starting 3rd grade at 6 years old
Had keys to the (local) Taco Bell, when I worked there @ 13 years old
15 year old bartender
Organized a lawsuit at 17 years old
Woman singing in a Frito truck, long before women held these jobs.
Astrologer
First astrology blogger
Hard to believe? TOO BAD! It’s all true and worse, it’s the tip of the iceberg!
Now I may sound angry; I have Mercury conjunct Mars. I am emphatic by nature. Yet another problem.
I can see why my grandfather gave up trying to exist in the system. I also know there are others who feel similar at this point. It’s one of the reasons I’m writing this.
If you want people to talk to you, you have to allow them to talk. Otherwise, you will never learn anything; you’ll be stuck telling yourself, you’re right about everything and people who know that you aren’t, will leave you in your ignorance. Also, if you don’t believe anything they say, there’s no reason for them to say more!
We get into this problem:
Pluto In Aquarius Threatens Humanity: Real Engagement (Food) vs Something Else
Today, it’s politics, for the most part, but I remember writing rants on this blog, twenty years ago, trying to challenge people who “hate men” or the flip side of that – “hate women”.
“You realize you are insulting half the population, right?” I’d ask. Never mind, this tells, your mind has gone missing for the most part. Who are you to judge half the world?
This type sentiment has exploded in the current day, effectively making and keeping people, stupid.
There’s another factor here: lack of faith. You have no faith, you’ll have no faith in me – I don’t want to deal with it. This is Scorpio problem, for the most part. Test you, test you, test you, until you want to kill them! You leave and they’re “betrayed”. Riiiiight!
See, right here I have to include a disclaimer. NOT ALL SCORPIOS. I need a disclaimer, after writing about the sign in a positive way, publicly, for nearly 25 years! Why? Is it brain damage?
If you cant trust. If you can’t comprehend, there are people in the world who have integrity and don’t lie; this is your lack and guess what? I’m not the only person like me!
I spoke with an Aquarian, on Monday, I think it was. She’s being persecuted for insisting the people who work under her treat patients, appropriately. Someone(s) is actually threatened by this! Why? Because she won’t join their stupid gang; cheat patients of their care and go home early. Like her soul means that little to her!
I compare that kind of behavior with the behavior of the people I know; friends, that I am losing at this time. The people screwing the patients, I mean. We all think something like this is abominable. We would not be caught dead doing something like this. Are we another species? It makes you wonder!
I spoke with. Scott, over the weekend. His sister has dementia.
His “friend” said, “You don’t owe her anything.”
He said, “The fuck I don’t!”
See what I mean? Someone opens the door for him; he won’t go through it. He’s my kind of person since I was 15 years old!
People say they want friends, but do they really? Can you handle another human being who might see things differently? Maybe know more than you do? Or something different. Like you hate and disrespect astrology, but you’ve never cracked so much as one book and I’ve been at this half a century?
I think most people want friends (and lovers) who conform and relinquish control to them. My Aquarian client and I aren’t having it. We don’t like to be persecuted but we’ll accept it over crossing the line, we’ll never cross.
Luckily we stand out like beacons, so we can find each other easy enough.
Problem is, there are fewer people like this, day by day. We may very well die out like the dinosaurs, assuming there ever were dinosaurs!
Can anyone hear me?
I hope this inspires some young person to get (or keep) their life on track. It is hard to maintain your standard; look at, Scott! He’s going to have to care for his sister, to maintain his own standard. DISCLAIMER needed – this does not mean I think everyone has to care for their sister! I means, Scott, knows he owes his sister and he’s not shirking his obligation.
It’s just about having a standard in life. If you rage, reading this, I wonder why. What’s wrong with people trusting each other, being reliable, and relying on others? What’s wrong with doing right by others, keeping your word and being open-minded. What’s wrong with being forgiving, cutting people slack and giving them the benefit of the doubt, especially when they’re earned it.
It very strange these qualities bother people. Really, really strange. What would they do if they met, Henry? Call him a fraud?
Apparently, I could write about this all day, so I’ll just stop… after I say this: The Aquarian client, looked straight at me (on Skype) and told me she did not lie. I did not doubt her for an instant. Would you do the same?
Call it an litmus test, or maybe just a place to begin.
Elsa, very apt title. One does risk persecution when trying to make a real connection. I went to a support group for friends and family of the mentally ill. A mother in the group started yelling at me because she was upset she couldn’t handle supporting her own daughter’s illness while I took care of my sister for decades. Not everyone can handle truth or reality I’ve found, even the ones who say they want it. Maybe because I’m a triple Aquariun, but I want to know the unvarnished truth. I think, maybe they are afraid of being vulnerable an exposed? Friedrich Nietzsche quote:
“Sometimes people don’t want to hear the truth because they don’t want their illusions destroyed.” Great article.
Thank you. Aquarius seems to come to the front here. Scott is an Aquarius moon, Ben is Aquarius rising, the Scorpio who had the folder on his desktop had an Aquarius moon.
I wonder if Saturn-ruled Aquarius, associated with friendship, has something to do with it.
Isn’t it something how there’s all kinds of apps available to hire people to do things family and neighbors would usually do for each other? Help paint, clean gutters, or give a ride to the airport or even a doctor appointmeny? I’m probably mentioning something already posted on the blog or forum, but it’s another example that Elsa describes.
After so many letdown, I use the apps.
Elsa, I wonder about the Aquarius part. Years ago, I became friends with a neighbor who had an Aquarius sun. She sold drugs, robbed houses, and various unsavory behaviors. She was high on coke and saw God. She became an overnight convrrt. She became a deacon in her church and changed her life around. She became a cop and recently retired from service. Real people have messy lives, but it takes courage to share your truth.
Thanks for sharing this story and weighing in, in general. I agree on the courage. Recently I was told my bad behavior was excused to a degree, because of my childhood. I’m thinking, what bad behavior?
Ha ha ha. Did I write the wrong word?
This is what I mean, different species. I am not behaving badl6, creating content with value, at no charge, for 25 years.
That’s not enough? Personal problem.
But I meant to address the persecution. I get persecutied for telling, funny, true stories, that teach. Damn me! Damn me! Ought to take a rope and hang me! I am so very, very bad.
So then I’m supposed to hang my head in shame, but I think it’s the opposite.
I also think these things are rudimentary. Thank God, Henry, with Venus in Aquarius, made it clear to me, I was in charge of my life only.
Anyway, people can hate everyone or half of everyone or whatever they want. They can judge till theyre blue. I’m not going to do it. I’m not like that, I’ve never been like that and like attracts like, at least some of the time.
I just find you have to say no to some things and yes to others. Case by case, as far as I’m concerned.
Elsa, you’re very welcome. I think you’re courageous and brave. I love this b/c it ain’t easy…e.e. cummings “To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else – means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”
I had my first job, complete with keys (and NOT a family business) when I was 12. I’d have a hard time trusting a 30 year-old with similar today. You are spot on in this post. I’d rather be shunned for being myself than accepted for being a phony.
Agreed!
I attract many people. I repulse many people.
To separate the wheat from the chaff I mostly don’t hold back on my opinions and/or lifestyle. This is because my time is valuable. I live by the the following motto: You can’t please everybody so you gotta please yourself.
Speakerdee’s quote from e. e cummings inspired me to post the following poem:
let it go
e.e. cummings
let it go – the
smashed word broken
open vow or
the oath cracked length
wise – let it go it
was sworn to
go
let them go – the
truthful liars and
the false fair friends
and the boths and
neithers – you must let them go they
were born
to go
let all go – the
big small middling
tall bigger really
the biggest and all
things – let all go
dear
so comes love
My therapist offered me the poem when I felt devastated from trusting blindly, ‘believing’ instead of reading the signs, fixated on specific outcome, my own selective truths.
Yup! Scorpio Moon. Aquarius N. Node so I’m learning!
That’s beautiful, Cherie
e. e. Cummings has been there for me since childhood. I’m glad the poem resonated with you too, Vic.
Cherie,
I’ve enjoyed e e cummings since childhood, too. N Node Scorpio in the 9th and Aquarius Moon.
https://elsaelsa.com/astrology/how-important-is-it-that-people-agree-with-you/
From 2010.