Rolling With The Punches As You Age

mall kidsVic commented on Widespread Lack Of Imagination. Apparently she cooked a holiday meal and her family would not sit for dinner. They wanted to scoop the food from refrigerator containers and nuke it.

I was going to respond in the comments but recalled the Astrology For Elders post. I want to address this for, Vic, but also for others who might be struggling with similar issues.

This rejection is not personal. People have truly changed, perhaps on a cellular level.  While some of us really enjoy the collective energy, others do not. It taxes them somehow.  They may feel they finally have a day off… they want to do what they want to do and it’s not, sit for dinner.

Like Vic, I’m a cook. I’ve gone through this same thing. Realizing, it doesn’t matter if I can cook a mean holiday dinner.  It’s not how people want to eat.

You can compare this to shopping in a mall.  We were watching Stranger Things; everyone is at the mall, shopping and hanging out, in the 1980’s. It’s not like that anymore.  It doesn’t matter if you feel it was “better back then”.   That way of life is gone.

When the veil drops and you realize these things, it can be depressing and disorienting but once you assimilate the knowledge, you can adapt.

Some years ago, my husband did not want to put up a Christmas tree. I was aghast.  “Kids are gone,” he said.

I was bowled over by this at the time. Perhaps I’m a kid myself!  But I couldn’t see the point of putting up a tree for myself. Clearly, my husband didn’t care, so we skipped that year and every year since.

At first, I really didn’t like it. Six or seven years later, I’m totally relieved.

You can’t stop time and people evolve in ways that are out of your hands. Many prefer “parasocial” relationships or interactions, to in-the-flesh encounters, for a long and varied list of reasons. People whose ways are going out must adapt if they want to continue to interact.

This issue may be associated with a person’s second Saturn Return. It’s also a good idea to track where and who you are in life, in the scheme of things.  I have mad skills in the kitchen and I took this holiday off for the most part. Is this depressing or just something I don’t have to do anymore? I mean, I don’t change diapers, either.

I put this out here for people who don’t have someone as blunt as my husband, in their life. We’re all moving on in life, as it moves on around us.  There are benefits to flowing in concert with it.

27 thoughts on “Rolling With The Punches As You Age”

  1. Thanks, Elsa, I needed to hear this. I have alot changing in my life, besides just dinners. The core of the matter really is, you can’t hang on to old ways that don’t serve anyone, any more. Sad? yes, but if I look for the liberation (get creative, here, right?) life just might get better.

    1. Yes, that’s it, exactly. Shock everyone by accepting reality and moving on!

      I have a friend who fractured with a sibling over the dead mother’s china. I told him, he could buy a set of china; service for 12, for all of $50!

      This is when you realize, things have rolled over.

      See this:

      and then this:

      You’re going to be okay. You’re just assimilating and adapting to current conditions.

  2. Wow. So true! I have sets of silver and china that I doubt any of the kids will care about. Entertaining has changed. But the custom of breaking bread is as old as man. Always important in forging new insights about each other and life. I say invite them to sit with you for a half an hour without phones!

    1. This was an important realization for me… I am aware our kids want virtually nothing we have. Your situation might be different, but I am aware, keeping things for our kids is not something to spend a lot of time on. I am pretty sure, if we were to both die, our kids would come through and take nearly nothing. They would probably see the house and out goods at auction. If you’re just reading something like this, or thinking about it for the first time, it may sound stark but it’s actually just facts.

      Most people prefer not to burden their kids… this includes burdening them with your stuff they don’t want. I pulled this up for you:

  3. We remain old fashioned, and our kids and grandkids like it that way..Christmas tree every year, eat sit-down holiday dinners, do things together…Guess we haven’t caught that modern disease yet…

      1. Yes, I have reread it more than once….Interestingly an anecdote told by Dr.Newton was that as a young grad student, he went to the emergency room with an injured hand..A nurse directed him to the proper treatment..After that very brief incident, she told a friend “I have just met the man I am going to marry.” And so it happened…Love at first sight…

  4. Making my tree too, I do it because I like it. It seems that this one’s a thing that doesn’t get boring- at least yet. Venus in 4th house.

    1. I still enjoy the Christmas season and decorating my home. I have asteroid “Santa” (#1288) in my Taurus 3H, and asteroid “Noel” (#1563) in my Cancer 6H.

      1. Oh, sweet, thanks for writing these. I’ve checked out them as well, noel sag rx in 10th house opposite sun and santa in pisces 2nd house. I like decorating in general, sun, mercury, venus in 4th.

  5. They don’t tell you that the hardest part of parenting is empty nesting, at least it has been for me, but then again, my daughter and SIL live in England with my new and only grandchild, he’s in the AF, and my son and SIL live in Boston, and I live in Calif, can’t even call up and say “hey, want to come over for dinner, or take a drive to Tahoe for the day for some nachos.” I haven’t put a tree up in 9 yrs, I finally grabbed a small fiber optic one after our town tree lighting, just stuck it in front window and turned it on, voila, lights and sparkle

  6. Change is good but not all change…like progress. It needs discernment (a word that pops up a lot here). l cook too. I saw my neice and nephew before Christmas and cooked (but not the bread) a Middle Eastern feast, to acknowledge that well known Palestinian Jew– Jesus, and in recognition of what is happening in his birth place. Right Now! My neice (Capricorn) has stayed sober and is supporting herself and paying her rent. My nephew (Gemini) has toned down (some) of his views and is becoming more thoughtful…there is my gift. My nephew is Vegan; my neice eats too much junk. Nothing was left on the plate. Most of what l cooked– l grew here. We played music. Mine. Theirs (that was the Drake/Big Boi mix up). They wanted to buy me a present. l said no. Save your money. What l wanted and received was a card from each of them with ‘IOU a favour’ written in pen’ After making a joke about ‘kidneys’ and the need to be very careful about what is put in writing, l said: Maybe some shopping advice (or tech), maybe a lift…or someone other than me can get up a ladder (literal)–not Jacob’s. l hope everyone is doing ok and getting a bit of rest.

      1. ‘dissertation’…’diseration’ where was l going with that? A story of disenterment… disintergation…that’s a nice 12th/3rd hse…’slip’.I just threw an I Ching 39 Obstruction. Moving 1st 2nd lines…no more from me…

  7. Specifically in regards to food.

    A couple quick thoughts:

    If there is one thing the ‘elites’ actually bring to the table and do right ~ it’s their recognition (and application/eating) GOOD FOOD (while all the of the chipmunks scurry around and think they eat good food)

    Forget the price right now if reading this…… they eat good food be it in restaurants or cooked by personal chefs. The romantic thought is they eat at lavish tables slowly while sipping wine – but it’s kinda true the slow cooking eating applies here.

    Point is, they don’t seemed to progress and move into the category of eat quick crappy food and blow off the hand that feeds them (chef can add a little something something to prepared food;-)

    Why do we?

    Just mulling thoughts here cause the comment by Vic really affected me. I grow, harvest, can, process, buy, forage fantastic ingredients and cook every damn meal for one simple reason (for my family) and that is connection to wholesome food embedded with love and appreciation. Think of the Japaneses scientist Dr. Masaru Emoto and his findings on water crystallization.

    The one who is cooking (a labor of love) home cooked meals is the unsung hero. Please don’t give up!!! Do it for you and nobody else, do it from a creative standpoint and from a deep profound relationship between body, food and health. I can go on…….

    1. I do all this as well… but if holidays roll around and people prefer, Doordash, I’m not going to fight them. I won’t pay for it but you know. Their money, their time, their choice.

      1. When looking at Alchemy ~ aka educational lectures by Manley P Hall and understanding the depth and breath of Alchemy, you clearly see that food is alchemy. It transforms the physical body and it ties into astrology as well.

  8. On another side of rolling with the punches if growing old: my 3 yo grandson is growing as he is adapting to being kuya(Filipino for big brother). Ha? My son is growing now he has two young children — at 50. We’re grandma and grandpa 2,500 miles away, but we know each other(he’s been to our house & knows we have strawberries, chickens and his grandma draws) The iphone is stand and equipment for him. He stretches & those growing pains inspire that reality for us. Mmm, we can do it!?!
    This is fantastic real awareness—tough too, but good.

  9. This was the exact conversation I was having this afternoon with my sparkly taurus. She’s in the ‘parasocial’ group while I’m in the ‘in the flesh’ group, but then needs down time to process and refresh afterwards. It’s interesting and I can see where just evolving to her group might be easier in the long run.

    We didn’t put a tree up for the first time this year and I was sad about it. But I just couldn’t (had some work done on my thumbs, so physically impossible) and no one else wanted to do it. It wasn’t as bad as it seemed like it might be, but I still missed my big tree. That being said, moving forward I can see me going to a few small trees around the house or moving the ornaments to different themed wreaths (this is what a neighbor of ours told us she did when she had to move and didn’t have space for a big tree, I think it’s a brilliant idea). Just trying to follow the flow of life as it comes to me 😉

  10. I think rolling with the changes and seasons and getting creative with the circumstances and adapting is so important. Realizing pretty much everything in this world is made up anyway has helped me to understand that its not so serious. Its finding what we would like to keep,maybe repurposing,maybe just letting go and loving the good memories we amass over our lifetime and doing what makes us feel good as each year passes because as much as it sucks sometimes everything passes and changes whether we like it or not.

  11. Thank you so much for this post, Elsa. It is so helpful to read there are many of us that are now doing it differently. We seem to keep this to ourselves while it’s all happening around us. Mention you aren’t getting a tree or baking 100 cookies and you suddenly feel less than human. This year I just observed the race and felt relieved I wasn’t participating. Not beating myself up for what I did not complete secretly felt fabulous. Thank you all for the validation.

  12. I have, since I grew up in a household with a narcissistic mother and sociopathic siblings, gotten used to showering myself with gifts of every kind and to my heart’s content every December. This year I bought a gorgeous Brazilian Aquamarine ring and a new wardrobe including a lot of work out garb. I have splurged on Argentinian beef where you slice off your own steaks, and spicy Chilean bbq sauce for dipping it in. I leave two 1´high xmas trees up year round, one blue and one green, surrounded by glittery bowed boxes on top of a high closet as a nod to tradition and gift giving, but I realized early on, after the guy I thought would propose to me handed me a “friendship ring” that only fit on my pinky, that I had better buy myself what I wanted, rather than wait around to be disappointed by others who could never come close to getting me anything I could possibly want. I spent all December picking out things for my boyfriend, too- a huge lump of raw rose quartz for his work desk, some sunblocking safari shirts for work, a masculine hematite bracelet, and other things, which I would present to him the day I purchased them. I sent my daughter some Yeti insulated mugs and forgot to let her know I sent them, so for ten days she was loving them before I let her know I had sent them, so that was a win too. Christmas is for kids.

  13. I think the problem I have with some of this is that it feels like we’re losing everything. Nothing is important enough to keep. This started up a while ago and I can’t help but wonder at the end result, or the next phase, whatever it may be.

    BUT – there is a trend on younger people seeking out things that weren’t passed down to them. I guess you could call some of it traditional, and it is, but it’s also basic, like cooking. Some of it comes off awkward, but there’s this sense that something is missing. And if it’s basic skills people are trying to learn, maybe that’s all that’s needed right now, because… my other thought – door dash for Thanksgiving feels sad to me. You can do that any day, so why on Thanksgiving? Is it the food or the holiday? That’s something else I’m noticing in the US – it’s wrapping up and it’s about to end. Things that were sacred no longer are, and are treated as such. What will replace them? I don’t know, but it will be good to know the basics from which culture is born.

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