25 thoughts on “Scorpio Endless Probing In Relationships – Guilty Until Proven Innocent!”

  1. Avatar
    Shimmering Light

    Jeez! I have plenty of Scorpio and the question “When does the testing end?” made me laugh. It’s a very good question and not easily answered. It stopped for me when I knew I could trust the other person. Simple. With some people this takes longer than with others.
    That couple you’re describing though…sorry but that is too much. I wouldn’t put up with that. My Saggi Mars and Gemini Moon would call their bluff 🙂 Life’s too short to play those games.

    1. I can understand this but I do like these people A LOT. Plus they have never drawn a wrong conclusion and ran with it. They have exceptional boundaries. It’s more like being under suspicion. The mind(s) go to the worst possible scenario without any cause.

      They are very nice people who do no harm to anyone. I consider this what I call “a cowlick in their psychology”.

      Also, they know they do it. That’s why I looked at them the way I did.

      I’m pretty sure, at least the wife is saying (by now), “But this is, Elsa…we always do this and find out…”

      Like they’re trying to quit?

      I think this has play as well:
      I’ve got some oddity.

      See, I like to cook, as most people around here know. And garden. And I will readily give people food. I don’t even think about it.

      So this makes some people suspect. I didn’t realize this until it happened so many times. It’s not something they would do, so they supply a motive?

      But my motive is, I have 30# of tomatoes and my neighbor just gave me another 50#. What I want to do is not waste them??

      So maybe I need to explain myself? But you see what I mean. In the course of being my exact, authentic self, I come up dicey or it gets scrambled in some way.

      So since I continue to act strangely, there are two choice. Accept me or suspect me. For this kind of personality.

      Other personalities react in other ways.

      I actually don’t like to cause people grief or problems. In whatever case, I do spend less time than I would if thought I could interact without going through this ordeal.

      It reminds me of trying not to step on a crack (and break my mother’s back). I have no patience for that game. I want to just walk down the sidewalk, see?

      1. Avatar
        Shimmering Light

        Thanks for explaining, Elsa. From what you say they seem to have some self-awareness but can’t help themselves. Ok. No-one’s perfect. It sounded more like no-one’s talking about it, at all, and it’s all kept unspoken and then festers. That’s the worst scenario and really kills affection.

        We all have our quirks or oddities. I don’t find your behaviour re helping out others with food odd at all. But as you said people will respond to your Neptune on the MC and Uranus in the 7th in the way it hits their chart/psychology.

        Do you ever play those board or card games where you all have to take it in turns and share something about yourself that you think no-one else knows? Especially something you find difficult about yourself? I can’t think of the name of this game right now but it’s scary, funny and enlightening at the same time. It’s great for cutting through BS provided participants have the integrity required to be honest with themselves and others. But because it’s a ‘game’ and everyone takes turns it doesn’t end up as an assault on someone’s character. If people are willing to reveal themselves a little it can develop some depths in relationships.

        Thanks Elsa, I appreciate your blog and videos. You put some really good stuff out there.

        1. Thank you!

          I actually do say something (once I’ve been vindicated). We all know the pattern but it persists.

          That’s why I’m posting about this. It’s a real thing that goes on. In this case I think it goes something like this:

          “Did she say..?”
          “She did.”
          “Do you think ____?”
          “Should we say something?”
          “No one say anything. She did say that but we don’t know what she meant and it’s not our business so just shut up about it…”

          On the food, I don’t do that anymore, unless I know it’s understood. I have Mars in 9th. It’s spontaneous generosity.

          When I was pregnant in Denver. it was snowing. I was wearing a purple jacket and some gal in the grocery store complimented the color. I was very hot at the moment (pregnant!) so I took it off and gave it to her. “Do you want it?”

          “I’d like one like it?”

          “You better take this one. You’ll never find a jacket like this..”

          She tried not to take it but I explained I was burning up so she took it. I left the store in the snow.

          I was right. That jacket could not be replaced but whatever. Today, I have a yellow jacket. It’s insanely yellow, with yellow fur inside. I get asked about it all time.

          So really, this is just life. And my Mars will do things like that. But I have slowed down because I weary from the price I pay.

          1. Avatar
            Shimmering Light

            The world needs people like you, Elsa – food, purple jacket or whatever :-). But I get the having slowed down. I think in part it’s an ageing thing (no offence and I think I’m very close to your age).

            The positive side of ageing – maturing – is to be able to better harness and direct, and not waste, ones energy. This sounds like Mars but I really mean all the planets.

            There’s a beauty to mature expression of planetary or archetypal energies that cannot be faked or bought but come from awareness coupled with lived experience. We can only hope to live long enough to pass through those initiatory gates, e.g. Saturn returns, Chiron return, social/outer planets during the mid-life crisis to reap the benefits and be able to pass on something of value.

            “It’s a wonderful life” 🙂

  2. I love how real you are in this video. It’s true, sometimes it can go on forever and it’s very annoying.

    Thankfully it pretty much stopped with my husband, double Scorpio, after the first year. I guess it’s a good thing I could almost always read what he was thinking. I wonder if it’s common to know what they’re thinking. You mentioned that you can do it too.

  3. Comes with the energy. That’s Scorpio. Everyone knows it. I think because of that we get projected on when we aren’t doing it. We usually get a handle on who we can trust. And, normally have nothing to do with people we can’t trust. So, they certainly love you back or they would never have you in their sanctuary (home) the most personal space for a Scorpio. Very few people have seen the inside of my home.

    I don’t think you can change much with a fixed sign. Be that Scorpio, Leo, Aquarius or Taurus. Mutable signs can find a way to flow but I have yet to see a Taurus change their mind once they have come to a conclusion about anything…even people.

    Scorpio is either loved or hated. No in between. And probably for this reason. And mostly we don’t care. Scorpio is born into nonsense. Most of us were 50 years old when we were 2!

    Not always, but usually- have trash childhoods and for that reason always have their radar on level 10! Old wounds come back to haunt. Water hurts deeply. Scorpio lurks under a rock.

    I don’t blame anyone that backs off me. People have to do what they need to do. I am sure it’s exhausting. But still, a Scorpio may learn a better way as they get older, but chances of changing this are pretty close to zero.

    If I could not trust my mother or father, the very people that were supposed to protect me from harm, and actually love me, how on earth should I fully trust anyone? That is what we are thinking. We think=PAIN. What is Scorpio’s worst nightmare? Betrayal.

    I also believe Scorpio gets a lot of the wrong crap projected on them. My kid called me one day. He told me this, and that… and what he thought. I was dumbfounded. I said, what are you talking about? That never occurred to me and never would. I never thought it, and it never came to mind. So, that is just one example. That is from my kid who I would die for. I try to imagine what other misunderstandings could be out there. For my kid, I will clear that up and make that right. My love is eternal whether he shucks pain at me or not (he does not btw) but to the rest of the whoever’s… I would say we mostly don’t care.

    I don’t think Taurus gives a shiz either. I know Aquarius doesn’t.

    I love the people I love deeply. Always giving them the benefit of the doubt. I am talking grandparents, children, grands. But that is about as far as it goes, and I am good with it. When I have colored outside the lines on this I am always kicked in the teeth. I am sure I am right about this.

    I also believe the most loyal sign is Scorpio. So, that loyalty has to count for something. Loyal to the death unfortunately. Then there is Scorpio intuition. Mostly on target. I fail when I don’t follow my intuition.

    Are we paranoid? Yep. Very. Why? Because we can see it.

    The most hated sign of all. But, in true friendship, 100% loyalty. I don’t think you can find a better friend.

    I hope to come back as an air sign. With a lot of fire. No one wants to give a shit about things with this kind of intensity. If someone could just be on the inside and know what it feels like to want to get back one ounce of what we are willing to give…. One true friend. Most people think it’s asking too much. And I don’t blame them. I want to know what it feels like to discard people easily. I have lived decades and every person I have had to leave behind has left a scar on me.

    Glad to see you making videos again. These videos help people!

    1. This is a another of Elsa’s brilliant posts.

      Thanks for sharing about yourself @soup To understand why you can’t just amputate, I guess you need to look at your motivations for connection with others. As long as it is being met in some way, it’s hard to justify a total amputation without some Saturn or Pluto transit.

      I have many friends but my closest two are Aqua and Scorpio. One has her Sun Neptune on my Scorpio AC. One has her Sun opposite Saturn on my IC and MC. They know each other through me. They ask about each other all the time but I suspect it’s just to make me happy, because they haven’t called or seen each other since they were introduced.

      I certainly attract my fair share of Aqua because of my angular Uranus. As for Scorpio, they either like you or they don’t. No point pushing that cart if it doesn’t have wheels!

      1. I agree with you. I wonder why they have to announce their exit. Just go. Like those people who get on Facebook to say they are never coming back again. Bye. Hear ye hear ye (see hand ringing a bell) If you don’t do this or that I am … fill in the blank. Then I am leaving. I left already. I am confused. Ultimatum?

        Old boyfriend calls to say, I am never coming back again. I know. I left you 6 months ago, and you just noticed? No. You didn’t. You knew it when I walked out the door. Do mutual friends ask what he did though? Cos, I can assure you he did something.

        The other thing is Scorpio energy attracts absolute crap without trying. It just shows up. A big giant turd shows up at the front door. Uninvited. Other people, well they just cross the line.

        When other signs do what we do they are celebrated for being brave. We are not. Why? I know why.

        I do love Scorpio moons and moon Pluto’s though. I haven’t had a chance to get to know any Scorpio suns. The ones I know as acquaintances are so intense you can feel that energy fly off them. I was raised in a house full of Scorpio moons and have a GD that is one. Not for the weak… some think they are crazy. I think they are amazing. You get raw and real emotion. My favorite thing. You can see it in their eyes. I just love being around them. I love being around all water signs and fixed signs.

        1. They announce their departure because they hope you will beg them to stay! It’s a ploy to get attention. You know, just in case the mutables change their minds. ?

          The fixed signs are slow to move and next to impossible to change. So I would not bother if the feeling wasn’t mutual.

          Eg. I once met a Scorpio Sun through a former friend, Aries Sun with Moon in Aqua. The reason the former friend is a former friend is because our Suns square and our Moons oppose. Which could be an ok combo for anyone else except a Cancer Sun with Leo Moon. She taught she was doing me a “favour” by pressing my buttons all the time!

          Anyway, she introduced me to this Scorpio Sun. It was awkward and I’m not usually awkward with anyone – be they strangers or the postman. I left it at that.

          The Scorpio Sun loves the former friend though; unbeknown to the Scorpio Sun, I, who have only met her once, know all about her assets, where they are, her wish to be married, her partner’s refusal to marry her because his mother thinks he can do better…in short, I know heaps of stuff about this person I met only once. Why do you think that is? Who do you think blabbed to me?

          Now I am only a Scorpio rising but that in my opinion, is a sign of disloyalty. This Scorpio Sun is being had by my former friend and doesn’t even know it.

          1. And there you have it. She trusted this person with her personal information. Her personal information she kept close to her heart. She loves the person, and hopes she has a friend. We do want to have a true friend. Then, big slop mouth does that. Slop mouth runs at the mouth. Talks openly about Scorpio’s private business.

            Who does this shit? Well, many people do, that’s who. It’s shameful. You have no loyalty, respect, love… nothing. The foundation of friendship is shattered at the first sign that slop mouth runs off at the mouth. Using her as a story line for something to talk about. Using her life story as something to be shared. Slop mouth runs out of her own life story and had to share hers with you. As a Scorpio rising, I know you knew to never tell her anything ever. Unless you want it to be used for folly.

            I would chew off my arm before I would tell my Cancer friend of 45 years story. We laugh all the time and say, you are the only one that has the real goods on me and if you blow, I lose all faith in the human race. Because it’s true.

            Then people wonder, why the revenge? You know why. It’s your turn. You need to see exactly how devastating it is to be stabbed to death in the heart and not die, you have to live through it. Die, and live at the same time. That is what it feels like to Scorpio. And that is why they do what they do. It has happened before, and it will probably happen again. Check that damn engine light! (For us, check that birth chart)

            So, if we want to use astrology to protect ourselves then we have to remember the energy people are working with. Let’s use mutables as an example. They run their mouths. They shit talk. I mean, the water signs could clearly come back with that rebuttal. If we want to generalize then, mutables can’t shut up. They are no more capable of keeping a confidence than Scorpio is of acting like Magnum PI. Fair enough, right? I raised a mutable. I have been married to three. Loved all 4 of these people. Two of them I still love. I am literally married to one for a very long time now. He has a big mouth. With the exception… (so far so good) of telling my biz. I was clear from day one. Let me hear of it. You are out. That is the betrayal. Now the mutable I am married to is tender and considerate of people and not so blurt-y as the others I am speaking of. But he does like to have the big news of the day. I have a kid that can’t shut his mouth to save his life. I tell him nothing. I know better. And those two blurting big mouth fire signs advertise in the newspaper. A mutable will write a book about you. Period. So, can we talk about them? Are they trustworthy? Do we have to walk a tightrope around them to be friends? To love them? Yes, we do. We know what they do and still put the effort in to love them in spite of the energy they cannot help they were born with. They are effing EXTRA and we love them anyway. I adore my mutables. Even though they are the evening news.

            I could talk about the Cardinal signs, but they don’t have time to give a shit what your life story is. They are usually building an empire or being a CEO. Capricorn does not care about your silly feelings story. Too bad that Aries was a slop mouth. Too bad that Scorpio is being stabbed by a fellow Martian. The thing is, she will find out eventually and devour that Aries. 10 years later when she forgets about it. I have no doubt. Then Aries will say, but why?

            1. My problem with mutables is their inaction. They think a lot and talk a lot but that doesn’t translate into very much happening.

              What galled me about the Aries Sun was that I hadn’t even asked about what Scorpio’s Sun’s business. They used to live in the same apartment complex – which is where the Scorpio Sun still lives.

              I was accompanying the Aries Sun to the obstetrician when she pointed out – yes, with her pointer – which number of apartments the Scorpio Sun owns with the latter’s partner. Then she turned to asked me what she thought the Scorpio Sun would get in a bust up.

              That was only one of a number of incidences. Throughout 4 years of knowing her, her favourite greeting of me was, “You bloody Cancerians…” ? I use to pay for her meals whenever she came to my area and she had the nerve to repeatedly call me “cheap” and to quiz me about what my family yearly income is, what I might get in a bust up, etc etc

              The last straw for me was when she shot me a judgemental look and asked if my daughter, who has a diagnosed mental disorder if always going to be medicated. ?

              I had about enough by then and told her off in front of a mutual friend, a Pisces Sun. Then she plucked herself out from our group chats like some wronged animal.

              I had been bottling in for so long that I took it upon myself to call each and every of our mutual friends (we met in a group at the library) and inform them of her misdeeds. It wasn’t just my financial info she felt she had to know, it was all of theirs as well. She had this habit of measuring herself and doing it quite publicly as well – all the while denying that she was doing it. Aries Suns are like stop signs for being subtle!

              1. **************************************
                I had been bottling in for so long that I took it upon myself to call each and every of our mutual friends (we met in a group at the library) and inform them of her misdeeds.
                ^^^^ That was your Scorpio rising. Had enough! How about this now, see how you like it. Mirror. Look! I took it for 4 years. Now, here comes the boom!

                Mutables: They will tell the story, and they will write the story. They might even sing the story if they have Taurus. But will it be the whole story, or will it be some version of the true story? Gemini has a reputation, right? So does Sagittarius, right? My husband is a Pisces. I adore this sweet man, but he can get confused in all that fog. Sometimes I have no idea wtf he is saying! And Virgo. Well, no one can do it better than they can right? They leave out the part where they nitpicked the living dog crap out of you until you died from their thousand paper cuts. Were you even good enough for Virgo? Cos, no one is when they get on a tear (I have two Virgo sisters- Scorpio with crossed legs!) They hear it one way, I said it another. And they gossip too. Mutables are the biggest gossips. Hands down. Period. End of story. They are the writers, the story tellers. Problem happens when they tell a Scorpio’s story. That of course is the last information they will ever get. Even when you love them. You know you cannot trust them with personal information. I have a Virgo sister I will never speak to again. We are done. There is no going back.

                Now, wounded, who is trusting them again? Worse, Sag has the worst rep for cheating. Gemini isn’t far behind. Pisces can run a foot race with all of them. I only have proof that the first two are correct.

                Scorpio is not allowing a cheating peepee in their body. Sorry. That, story that we are controlled by the loins is BS! There are ho’s in every sign. Scorpio doesn’t screw to be a ho, if they are going to do it, it’s for power and control (if sex is used the wrong way) otherwise, only for love. No love. Total celibacy. And they don’t care.

                Aries sun comes rolling in like a bulldozer. I hate that shit. And my favorite human on this planet is an Aries sun and rising. She was giving me some grief (teenager) last summer. I love her so much I just took it till I couldn’t anymore. I said, dolly, that thing you think you got there, I got it X10. So, I take you home, or you treat me the way I treat you. It stopped. Loved on her. Over with. (It was the first time we every disagreed on anything and it has never happened since) She is my GD.

                Bottom line. A Scorpio would rather be alone than be close to someone they cannot trust. And they don’t care.

              2. That was your Cancerian Sun! The crab gathers a posse when facing perceived difficulty! Also Typical Aries is too self centred to pry into other peoples business, must have a few planets in Pisces, or some other affliction. I am fixed Air/Fire (6 x planets) and nod off when people start to tell me other peoples’ business, or when I get ambushed into listening to other peoples braggadouchio. Why me? Do I look like I care? Sorry, not going to turn green with envy at your shiny new lawnmower. These types seem to think life is about doing better than others…please go away.

              3. my sister is an aries sun but she has a stellium in pisces and hates people who are into other people’s business with their financial info O_O
                that aries sun is just not subtle, but you know astrology enough to just let it go and maybe she didnt mean any harm. and to forgive and leave it, knowing that her personality will grate on your nerves. Anyway good luck, ^^ astrology does help us understand and that understanding for me makes me forgive alot. but that doesn’t mean i will stick around xD

  4. It’s funny though when a Scorpio-type is probed by another Scorpio… I remember sub or unconsciously asking a question to one once that was calling her out, whew buddy, I saw her eyes switch and she went right into to defense mode… she wanted nothing to do with me ever again. I remember being probed by a Scorpio moon once, a friend of mine that was trying to get to the bottom of some gossip between me and a mutual friend of ours… she was not ill-intented but I saw right through what she was doing, and put an end to that real quick. My Pluto conjuncts my Scorpio Asc from the 12th, I am private as hell.

    1. basically, Scorp-type probing another Scorp = pointless because one is always exposed ha ha

      I was exposed and so was my friend

    2. I will allow myself to be probed – deeply, even. But if what I tell you is not sufficient, you won’t have to worry because I will be gone. 🙂

  5. Elsa, this is the first video I have watched since you started posting again. I am astonished that you have developed a charming little southern twang.

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