My son and my husband went to my class with me last night. We started out with about 25 people in there but now have closer to 50.
Vid popped off in class even though it’s for adults, he’s got the Panizzon blood. My husband said nothing though he taught this class himself for six years. He was polite when I introduced him to the people at my table but I mean, he didn’t contribute to the discussion either in our small group or at large which should not have surprised me though it did. Later he shared his impressions of the people in the room and I was surprised.
If you read here often I am sure you’ve noticed my husband evaluates situations but last night he specifically mentioned emotional states of the various people in the room. I was struck that he noticed certain people who’d not hit my radar in the months I have been attending but also surprised he registered this at all as I didn’t know he cared.
Does that sound bad? Do you care how the person sitting across the room feels? I can’t say that I do unless they draw attention to themselves. What draws the attention of one person does not necessarily interest another.
He said the people all liked me which was nice to hear. It was reassuring. I mentioned when I started this, I became so isolated due my daughter’s illness, I have pretty much forgotten how to socialize, I’ve lost track. I’ve minded myself in there pretty well and thought I was getting on with people but his comment was a step up from that so appreciated.
Do you read people in a group? Perhaps even more important, do you ever *not* read people in a group? Because I am sure I could do it, I’m just not interested.
Yes, always… and sometimes when I don’t want to.
Ditto as per GW….people who don’t know me think I’m judging them..it’s not true…I only see them as they are, I’m not critizing in any way.it’s weird to explain
I believe that men read a room or a group more intently than women. This goes back to the whole hunter gather thing. Men being primarily the hunters want to know who they can count on. Where as women on the other hand treat group kind of like berries. The ripe fruit gets the most attention. I believe everyone assess a room or group weather they are aware of doing it or not. I just think lots depends on the purpose for attending the group. You were the instructor so you were in charge you want the ones in the group who are interested most because they will glean the most from your teachings and experience (the ripe fruit). That is perfectly normal. Where as your husband even though he had been the instructor in the past was there as an observer and apparently is very accomplished at that which I personally think is great. Your son is young he was looking for what reaction he would get sounds like you have a wonderful family and that you share them with others which says a lot about you as a person. I am so glad I have had the opportunity to become acquainted with you and your blog over the past year or so. You are a most interesting person. Hopefully one day I will get to meet you in person.
It’s my natural instinct.I’m just curious.I Have to figure everyone out.Get to the bottom of things.I’m deeply interested in people.I feel like I’ve been sent on some kind of sociological mission.I’m not “nosy”.That word implies harmful intent/a lover of gossip.Like a person who wants to know all the dirty little secrets,so they can have one-up on someone.A juicy story to share with their like minded friends.That’s not my intention.I do “research” and file it upstairs.
my post got lost:(
I don’t know, lbetters, it sounds too much like using vague ideas about what’s natural to justify cultural notions.
As a Libra I’m very focused on the group, I want to make sure everyone’s alright and not feeling left on the outside in any way. I have an empathic sponge Pisces moon, and as far as Scorpio goes I’m on the cusp and have my mercury and Uranus there. I don’t think it’s everyone’s job in the world to be a mood balancer and a group nurturer and taking care of each individual, noticing each one in the group. Would be a waste of skills if we all were specialized in the same thing, you know? You have other things to do, sometimes it’s good not to be distracted by everyone’s vibes.
Yeah, I read pretty much everyone, even when I have zero interest.
Unfortunately, I do. It is the biggest reason that I avoid people.
I am college student, on the first week, I don’t. I focus on myself but eventually, I will start reading people and feel them out. I am very quiet person but when I have something to say, I will say it but sometimes it ache me to see someone else who wants to speak but never really get the chance and no one would know but me and that person. 🙁 So yes, I do feel people out.
– Scorpio mars 9th
Absolutely. It can give me an emotional hang-over if I am not careful. Being in a crowd of people I’m already familiar with is much easier than being in a group of unknowns. (Stellium in Pisces, Scorp Moon)
Cancer stellium, moon conjunct pluto in 1st – I automatically read/register/absorb people in the room – can’t help it–
I may even begin to care if I pick up on emotional pain – or, not “care” but feel empathy –
Also, my stellium is in the 11th/groups! What’s nice is when you register “neutral” — like last night I was in a class and it was allll fine, everyone was just cruising along together… but with lots of water it just flows into you
Of course….I’ve got lots of cancer in my chart as well :o)!
Angie
@Delooped..ditto on welcome. you and I are super similar…our sun, moon and mercury are in the same signs. my uranus is in gemini though. I have cap rising, so I’m reserved at first, in most situations. But my read on picking up on others’ feelings and vibes pretty mucn mirrors yours. my moon and mercury are in a tight water signs trine, which I think makes me able to pick up on others’ vibes. Libra sun makes me actively care, as it does you.
With Venus in Pisces trine Neptune in Scorpio, I absorb emotions like fabric absorbs dye… I have to shield myself from other people’s emotional states or I will take on their anger, sadness or other emotions that aren’t mine… I also absorb the happy, so it’s not all bad all the time. With age and time, I’ve learned to deflect some of it and to not take it into myself. It’s been hard to learn this lesson but well worth it in terms of protecting my psyche from the load of emotional crap that some people want to dump on me. I can read people the second I get near them and am nearly always accurate about their state of being… It’s a gift and a curse.
i can but try not to. unless i’m bored. ha ha. but that’d be bad in a class in my case, because then i’m not listening to what i’m trying to learn–distracting.
i also try not to because people can be moody (puts up hand) and if their moods are shifting dramatically that can have a profound effect on me. easier for me to just politely ignore their underlying energy.
last, it’s hard going out into the world when you’re internally a ball of emotions. i like to think by treating them like i can’t ‘feel’ them i’m allowing them privacy/a feeling of sense of agency.
i hope that doesn’t look like i think he wasn’t ‘allowing them privacy’-i don’t mean that. i’m just thinking about my own self.
Yes, I read people or a room without really intending to. I just don’t always pay attention to the information because it may not be that important to me at the time. I may tune out the read to focus on a lecture or if I’m busy. If I’m interested in engaging someone or jumping into a conversation, there’s more use for it.
I like business students because everyone tends to be friendly and jovial, contrast the math classes where the vibe can be very serious and focused.
I read people all the time but possibly in a different way. I have very little water so I have taught myself how to analyse people and situations – I have aqua rising and I’m incredibly analytical.
I work hard at it and it’ll probably never be as sharp as a scorp moons x-ray specs but it really helps me stay ahead of the crowd.
Yes ..I can read people ..and it comes naturally. I dont usually think about it aftewards, as something separate. I see it as a visible part of the personality.
I guess its all the scorpio in my chart
Yeah, I can’t *not* do it. It’s the same as trying *not* to breathe. It just happens, naturally. Even if I am not really that interested. And I totally get what redro said – it’s not reading to judge them, I’m totally taking them as they are.
Like Moonpluto I have a Cancer stellium in House 11 – so yes, in any social situation eg a bar, or even a group situation like a lecture, concert, church or wherever, I’m constantly examining everyone around me, it’s automatic like breathing! I’m utterly fascinated by people (and an ‘aspiring writer’).
It’s also because since I’m often moving around and therefore in new social scenes, I’m always on the lookout for like-minded or sympathetic looking people; and lastly because I need to watch my back, having a handicap which can attract some very negative vibes. I have very good antennae!
PS I also have Venus conjunct my Sun (in H5) which I understand makes people friendly and outgoing, and keen to reach out to others
PPS I also have Neptune and Jupiter in Libra!
yes, but more selfishly than he does. first with scorpio mars I am making a threat assessment. is there anyone here to kill me? second is the leo rising… how do I play to this audience? ::rollseyes:: oy.
Mm. I’ve learned to switch it on and off, depending on the situation. Mostly now it’s off, unless there’s good reason to be on. I don’t like to pry.
I do it but it’s because I’m naturally introverted. I’m the kind of scorp moon who only talks to certain people — and when I say talk, I mean talk, there’s no limit or boundary to what I’ll say to them; they get the whole enchilada. But the rest of the world would see me as silent and sort of intense. In a group I let people reveal themselves unintentionally because that will be truer than anything they tell me.
When I was younger I used to half-believe I was psychic; now I know picking up that stuff is more of an innate defense mechanism.
Off topic, but…
The illustration of the lobster is gorgeous.
I have a moon in scorpio, and find that I sit back an observe, and later sift through peoples emotional projections… I find that it’s my nature.
Cancer rising, moon in Gemini. My first impressions are really accurate. I’m like a satellite for vibes. I wish I never had to leave my house sometimes because most human interactions really drain me. That said, I’m extremely empathic and care a lot about the more vulnerable members of society. I’m a caregiver. I work with people who cannot always express their feelings verbally.
I’m also an Aries and I can get quite worked up in defence of others. With a Jupiter Saturn conjunction and Pluto in Libra, I am obsessed with fairness and justice.
Sometimes the injustice I see tips me into the realm of serious activism. I guess I’m a real mother bear with all the Aries and a Cancer rising.
Yes but at 38 I am only starting to realize how much and to decide whether or not to act on it consciously. Over the last few weeks I have begun to actually realize I mean luck BAM it hits me and decide wether to disengage or respond openly or covertly. BUT only if I feel strongly that there is positive to be gained in the situation not in a negetive way for ANY party. Its actually liberating because before I thought it was MY mood swings.. I’m startly to clearly separate others from mine 🙂
My antenna is always up , ( pisces ) reading people in a group is a skill. I did learn in martial arts to always access your surroundings . I luv to go in big citys with my sunglasses on to observe thats the neptune scorpio In me .
I have a tendency to absorb others feelings. Working on that because they can cause me to muddy up my own. I’m getting better at recognizing the pattern and categorize my “summing up” more effectively, but when I’m in company of a large crowd, known or unknown, it can become overwhelming and quite emotionally draining.
that’s not a scorpion?
Yes, it’s a scorpion.
thought so, but Silverheels said “lobster” and it’s lunchtime..i’m hungry and got excited..lol
all the time. i need to figure out who the threats and possible allies are, as well as where unpleasantness is likely to erupt. that and i’m fascinated by human networks and their dynamics.
probably because i’m an alien. (aquarius moon.)
it’s sort of second nature by now.
Yes, all the damn time. Its quite useful, but all the time is just emotionally tiring. Its a gift and a curse.
That’s my favorite past time.
I don’t know how to turn it off. I don’t know how not too read people. I really don’t think I even actively try. I think it’s all of my Virgo (Sun, Mercury, Mars) and Scorpio (Moon, Pluto, Saturn) planets. Sometimes, I think it’s all of the time I spent with animals as a child. Horses and cats, mostly. Observing them and their body movements gave me the skills to read people. But, if I was sitting in a group there is no way I couldn’t not read people. It’s automatic. I think.
*to (Virgo)