The Thing Your Partner Does That Drives You Nuts


Getting along with other people is a good skill to have and one that is gaining in value.  To this end, I’d like to talk about some of the nuts and bolts of relating to others.

I was just writing for a gal whose husband does stuff that is maddening to her at times. I am sure every single one of us can relate, assuming you have a partner and the relationship is more than a couple months old.  You want them to stop this thing, but you can also see, via whatever method (astrology, observation…),the behavior is organic to them.

What do you do about this?   You can’t beat them into submission.  You can make a request, but if we’re talking about asking a curly haired person to have straight hair, how’s that going to work?

Is it incumbent upon you to expand you comfort zone?  Is that even possible?

Also, what about your particular idiosyncrasies or what I called, repetitive, feeling states? The things you do, that make your partner say, “You always…”  Should you address them as well?

How do you deal with or resolve persistent conflicts in your relationship?

4 thoughts on “The Thing Your Partner Does That Drives You Nuts”

  1. haha! first, I believe sincerely that if you start a conversation with ‘you always’… well, take the gloves off cause you are in for a drag out fight. Maybe it’s just me that gets triggered that way?
    Married 28 years, yes, there are things that can’t be helped. Like not turning off the lights and leaving the door open. These things are minor in the big scheme. Let them go. Go behind and turn off the light if it drives you crazy.
    If ‘you always’ focus on the little stupid things, you’re going to miss the bigger messes until they blow up in your face.

    1. Agree, stop harking at the small stuff, blowing it out of proportion will make it worse. We sat down to talk about what we really appreciate and love about each other and what drives us crazy…. and how we can help each other instead of bickering.
      Turns out, some things can change with a bit of kind reminders and a thank you, some things are just hardwired. It’s never just one who trips up, rather one makes it a big deal and the other forgets about it in a minute.
      In actual fact, I was mostly not annoyed at his habits but the fact that he owned them without feeling guilty at all. Until I owned mine. Then we both found it easier to do each other a favour by being more considerate. You want the person around? You love them as they are? Then let go of wanting to change them. They can only change themselves. Kindness makes it easy.

  2. Great timing with this one Elsa! Needed to read this. It’s been the theme that’s on my mind the past couple of days.

    You put my thoughts into better wording and sorting. Thanks!

  3. My partner has heaps of planets in Virgo. It annoys me when he picks microscopic lint off me, and finds imperfection in some cleaning task I have performed 😄.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Scroll to Top