“She sure sold me cheap,” I said to a friend when I learned a gal I was acquainted with had betrayed me. “Why do you think that is? Is she stupid?”
I asked if she were stupid because this happens all the time. People betray me frequently. In fact is happens so routinely I don’t even register it other than being mind boggled.
Because I am a loyal and loving friend. I am without a doubt the one that will still be there when everyone else goes home, yet I am discarded all the time.
I think it’s crazy. If I had a friend like me I would keep me for sure but anyway, I was discussing this the other night with a pal and it occurred to us that people who do this don’t do it intentionally. By that, I mean they intend to do what they are doing but they don’t intend for me to know about it. ::smiles::
But invariably I find out and generally very easily. It’s sort of like my son. He’s forever hiding from me, but I always see his butt sticking up, or a fluff of his hair, so he’s not so successful. Which is another reason not to snoop, see? I find out stuff anyway, whether I like it or not.
So this happens all the time. I get sold out, I know about it but the person doing the selling never knows I know because I never confront. Are you kidding? With Mars in Libra?
I only fight with people I love! I am never going to yell at someone I don’t love. Why do that when I have a Venus Neptune escape hatch! I don’t confront, I just erase everything.
I erase the person from my life. I erase myself from theirs and I erase whatever pain might have been inflicted which generally speaking takes me about 30 minutes. I’m sorry, but I am just this good at it after all these years and what happens to the person who sold me?
I have no idea. Venus Neptune!
And I blame (credit) this aspect for this occurring in the first place. Venus Neptune = deception in relationships. The person will be deceiving me and I will be deceiving them in acting as if I don’t know it. Hall of mirrors, right? And then eventually the veil drops (I think).
“Hey. Elsa hasn’t talked to me for a year. I wonder if I got busted?”
::smiles::
And then the denial kicks in… “Nah…”
Do people sell you cheap? Have you ever sold someone you should have held onto? What does that feel like?
It hasn´t happened that much in my life, even if I have a Neptune Venus aspect. I tend to keep my small circle of friends over a long time. But I recall this one time where I met this very engaging guy I really liked, I did not get involved with him intimately because in my view he needed to make some major changes in his life. He was quite successful and I would say a bit too sure of himself. We were still friends and when I told him real nicely “I think you better change xyz in your life”, he just laughed and said he was strong as a bull. Then a few events happened and I got sold cheaply. But the story did not end there. A year and a half later he was dead, he got a serious illness and that was it. He contacted me and tried to make those changes, but it was too late.I think he got his chance but didn´t have the courage at the time to deal with his own shadow. I would agree with you that people don´t do this intentionally. I´m sure there are many variations in the emotional patterns that play themselves out in these situations, and with all the Scorpion influence in my chart I can just say, I wish sometimes I wouldn´t see all the lies that people hold in their space. So the accusation that Scorpions get about stirring up trouble might often be more related to their keen sense of seeing the distortions and being able to bring them to the surface so that they can be eliminated and that is anything but comfortable. I´m having a discussion with “God” about this right now, ha ha, because I don´t want to deal with having to point to peoples crap any longer. So yes, you say you erase everything, I like staying in my neutrality about it all.
It’s happened to me, yeah, but not often. I have Venus trine Jupiter in the 11th, and I don’t have a lot of friends, but the ones I do you can usually take to the bank, man. Oddly enough, it’s most often been people I’ve been related to that do this, and it’s more of a writing off almost, because I can’t see what they are really getting out of it. My brothers wrote me off when I didn’t choose the family faith, literally overnight. My stepdaughter wrote off all the family relationships for drugs and a big, fat dose of crazy (and ugly, bitchy, crackhead crazy to boot).
I have a 7th house Saturn in Pisces (trine Venus), though, so I have a history of relationships that go missing. It’s like it’s without warning. They spontaneously comubust and there’s not even a pile of dust on the floor. Sometimes, some of them come back, but often, it doesn’t seem like they do. It can be like a sock in the gut sometimes, but I’ve learned to get Zen about it.
I am very loyal myself, and can’t remember selling out somebody like that. I mean, I am not perfect by a stretch, but I place a very high value on relationships for sure…
THANK YOU ELSA. I have Venus/Neptune too and always feel guilty about erasing people who f**k me over. It happens.
Usually I erase, so well that in a year or two I forget, then start to feel guilty for being harsh. I’m dealing with that right now. Was this person so bad? Well, yes. They were. The people who’ve screwed me have done it WELL.
I hate grudges, though, and sometimes I feel as trapped by my ‘erasing’ as I have by staying somewhere painful.
I worry how this erasing jives with my principles of kindness.
Oops, as for selling someone cheap? Yes I did do that, my best friend when we were 16-17. I was jealous of her and was not very nice to her at all, and I still regret it, regardless of how she forgives me.
I also was not very compassionate with a friend who broke up with her boyfriend. She was very, very aggressive and alternatively sullen and depressed during that time and I was not patient at all. I avoided her ::cringes::
We’ve talked about it so much since then and she always says “I was nuts, don’t worry about it.” But I do have a high standard for myself of how I should conduct myself in relationships and feel terrible when I fall short. (My Neptune/Venus is also trined Saturn).
Hiya,
Your post really resonated with me, Elsa, so i looked at my natal chart and BAM, there it is, Venus conj. Neptune in the 11th house.
I’m an awesome friend. Balanced, fair, kind and loyal to a fault. I’m a Scorpio (duh) 🙂
I find that people tend to take my kindness and patience for granted………as in, good ol’ C, she’ll understand. Well, I do have an enormous capacity for b.s. but it gets to a point and when it does; the drawbridge gets pulled up and that’s it! You’re outta my life. Dead to me.
Now i sort of understand why I do this. Thanks 😉
I’m a loyal friend (taurus) but i make very few as i’ve been screwed over in the past so i have trust issues and it takes a looong time to be my friend. I’m an eraser too (venus sesquiquadrate nept)and will cut you off at the first sign of deceit. If i catch you slagging off a friend of yours, well then i’m unlikely to be your friend as your most likely gonna do the same about me. I dont need so many friends though and the few close ones i have i know i have for life and i treasure them. Saying that i have cut out potential good friends just because though i’m a loyal friend, i’m one you dont see that often, so if you’re too needy i’m likely to back off too (uranus in 7th widely opp venus).
I get this too, in a much milder way (Venus sextile Neptune), but I *know* I give off vibes of “I don’t need you, anyway, so go away and let me be.” So they get the vibe and leave me be. Venus is conjunct Pluto and Uranus. NO surprise there.
Ya know, I’ve always attributed the “clean sweep” to my Aquarius moon but I’ve got Neptune sextile Venus as well. I tend to ignore sextiles because I don’t understand them very well yet, but I’ll be paying closer attention to this one. *nodnod*
Elsa,
As a teen I did it once because we both liked the same guy. I got him. But realized my error by losing her friendship.
For the most part though, I could have written what you did, myself. Yes, i’ve been chit on alot.
Venus Scorpio conj Neptune Scorpio
Venus sextile Pluto
Good golly, I can relate to this!!!! But I’m not so good at erasing- it hurts.
Haha love it! Hilarious read! ?
Sun Gemini 5th opposition Neptune Scorpio 11th. ? (Also Capricorn Ascendant and moon 12th)
Yup people get into serious chatting with me, thinking we are friends or becoming friends, but guess what? ? We are definitely not!!! And I never let them know it, until they’ve overstepped my boundaries or tried to break my rules. I’m just secretly managing (controlling) my connection with them, working out whether they fit into my dreams in life and are become real friends.
LOL or worse still, people think they are in some sort of emotional relationship with me, but I’ve just friend zoned them, because there’s no chemistry between us! ?