Luna writes on Are You Hiding Something Critical From Your Partner:
“Just wondering about how does one deal when it’s one’s partner who’s got the square? If you ask them to be upfront, you can’t know if they are…”
I don’t think there is an easy answer for this because there are so many variables. The person may out and out and lie but often the partner is in on it, consciously or otherwise. Basically, they may not want to know.
They may not want to know because they may not care.
They may not be not be serious about you anyway – you’re just two people screwing.
They may not want to know because they’re enjoying the fantasy and they have no desire to spoil it, even if it’s likely to doom the relationship, long term.
If this is the case, they’re not going to ask hard questions. You see the dynamic here. The lines are not always clear who is keeping what from who.
You may be dealing with an out and out liar but more often it’s what they don’t tell you, or what they allow you to assume. A person like me who is inherently honest, is very likely to answer a direct question that I don’t want to answer with fog, rather a lie.
“Why won’t you marry me?”
“Because Tucson is an Estes hometown,” I respond.
“I’m not telling you that,” is another thing I say a lot.”I’m not going to talk about that” or “Don’t ask me that, I don’t want to tell you…’ I virtually never lie. I mean, it is very, very infrequent. I could probably count my lies in the last 10 years on one hand but that doesn’t mean I am talking to you and it doesn’t mean you’re not tricked because I keep my mouth shut.
In your case, Luna, without seeing the charts, I can only suggest that you ask the question, trying to let the person know it is safe to answer. Even more important, if you can let the person know that an honest answer is very important to you. Venus Neptune is inherently compassionate and inclined to sacrifice themselves for the other.
For example, my husband did not press me for a (real) reason why I would not / could not marry him. If he had told me that I was hurting him and he wanted me to address marriage thing in plain language, I am pretty sure I’d have responded to that. Venus Neptune is not especially self-protective. Most times they are trying to spare the other from having to deal with reality. Why ruin a perfect date, yanno?
So my husband is not that way so due to his way and my way, we lost 25 years that we could have spent together. Love (Venus) disappeared (Neptune)…or seemed to.
There is an upside here. Let’s say you have slept with 100 men and your boyfriend guesses that you have slept with 10. It may be a kindness not to correct his perception.
What do you think?
Does 12th house Venus have a tendency to do similar? Cause it sure sounds similar.
@Josi, yes, that’s a Venus Neptune exchange.
This aspect can come off as passive aggression in some people I think, says one thing nicey nicey but actions come across differently…
I think you are right on the money! And this:
“Venus Neptune is not especially self-protective. Most times they are trying to spare the other from having to deal with reality. Why ruin a perfect date, yanno?”
Wow. Hit a nerve. I was thinking about my first boyfriend last night, wondering WTH I would stay with a drunk? A nice drunk but a drunk all the same…I think my Venus/Neptune works overtime.
“You may be dealing with an out and out liar but more often it’s what they don’t tell you, or what they allow you to assume.”
Very much so – I have Venus sq Neptune and whilst I never lie to a man, never have, and mostly I’m very open (in a couple of cases, due to being faced with a direct question, too much so), I have always omitted a good deal.
This was especially the case with my husband, who knew noting of my inner life, though I’d made no secret of the fact I was with him on the rebound from the Actor, also that I was involved in a debilitating lawsuit and had no money.
First Great Love has the square too – our V/N squares were pretty fatal to one another imo. He wasn’t so much a liar as totally Neptune-ruled…
The Man has Venus trine Neptune. I would guess he still knows almost nothing about me at all in spite of our 24 year affair; he certainly doesn’t understand me.
In his view, what happened when we were together was all that mattered in the relationship. There were loads of things I never told him, and he usually didn’t often ask. Oddly for such a secretive 12th Houser, he told me more than I told him – I wa smore interested to know! – but I wasn’t always sure I was getting the truth, let alone the whole truth. There was one important thing he never told me, and I found out purely by chance only this January, the night before I last saw him… he still doesn’t know I know!!
Thanx for this, P. Yes, of some help. In this case, the situation is somewhat complicated as it’s a Neptune/Moon conjunction squaring a Uranus/Venus conjunction. Oh boy 😉
Venus in pisces square Neptune here and everything said.touched a nerve n was spot on ..thank you elsa..this is part of my souls shadow work this lifetime..esp.ringing true as I go through my saturn return currently happening in Libra..Tons of relationship karma for me ..yuck lol
“it doesn’t mean you’re not tricked because I keep my mouth shut.”
Guilty of this.