What’s A Deal Breaker In A Relationship?

trust-costello.jpg“I’d be shocked if you cheated on me,” the soldier said. “I would be totally shocked,” he said carefully.

“I’d be shocked myself seeing as I’ve never cheated on a man in my life, never mind cheat on you.”

“Yep, I’d be shocked and it would end it I guess. It would end our relationship but I would sure be in agony. I’d be in some pain… pain.”

“Well I am not a cheater.”

“I know you’re not. I know you don’t cheat and I do trust you.”

“Well I’m glad. I don’t see how I could be with you if you didn’t. I mean, I’ve never cheated on anyone in my life and then you are going to suspect me and ask me questions all day? When I have no history of cheating whatsoever in my entire life and then I am going to start up that kind of thing as this age? Riiight. For me to have to tell someone I don’t cheat at this stage would be like having to tell them I have black hair. You should be able to figure out by now, I am a non-cheater with black hair, I mean come on. If someone isn’t going to trust me when I have earned their trust in every way, shape and form, there really is no hope so I would leave and not be badgered.”

What is a deal-breaker in relationship for you?

11 thoughts on “What’s A Deal Breaker In A Relationship?”

  1. It’s hard for me to think of any other deal-breaker than trust- that’s a pretty all-important one. I will say that one very simple deal-breaker I have now is how the man relates to my son. If he doesn’t want to love him and be a good role model for him, then- what’s the point? Deal broken.

  2. Cruelty, specifically threatening or abusive language and behaviour and the silent treatment.
    Certain circumstances ie. cheating would have to be dealt with as they happen.
    I’m very forgiving but I see cruelty as a fatal design flaw I’m not interested in fixing or witnessing.

  3. Jessica – yes. I have a packed 8th house, I am either going to be loyal… or not.

    Turns out I am loyal and consequently people who trust no one trust me and I like this very much.

  4. Cheating, any kind of abuse of my or my kids, addictions, general assholery… All deal breakers. I’ve got an 8th house full of Aries and a Cap moon. I don’t betray and I expect the same.

  5. Nothing in the 8th house, but trust is a hugely important element in any relationship for me too. As is respect. I would rather be alone than be with someone who does not respect me, or someone I cannot respect.

  6. Hmm, I wonder if it’s horrible to say I don’t mind cheating per se (but depending on the circumstances, I guess), but what I do mind is wilful self-deception. And making me an accomplice to it.

    I can take a broken relationship more than I can take being used to prop up someone else’s need to lie to themselves.

  7. I don’t think it’s horrible h.h…it’s all up to the individual. Different people have different needs in relationships and that includes sexual.
    I used to think I’d walk immediately but as I’ve been in a relationship for almost 7 years I have a lot invested in it and would like to think I’m willing to attempt to weather whatever comes. I know that’s not for every person and if it ever happened I might change mind, but as it stands I’d have to look at everything happening at that time.

  8. I have an 8th moon, and I trusted someone completely who turned out a psychopath and betrayer. Little wonder I find it hard to trust again. I dont even trust the s.o with an 8th house stellium, just because its in Libra and he’s so damn attractive he can have his pick!

  9. In my younger years while married at age 17, there came a time when my needs were greater than my loyalty. Being married to an alcoholic became like being a mother to a man. I needed more than that. My husband wasn’t loyal to me either. He was loyal to alcohol.

    Being a Pisces with a Pisces moon and mercury, loyalty wasn’t a top priority, escape was. During my second marriage I found that loyalty with Scorpio, who is loyal to me.

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