What Should A Married Man To Do When A Woman Flirts With Him?

Charlotte wrote on Venus and Mars – What You Want and How You Get It:

“I have Venus in Pisces (in the 7th), Mars in Sadge. I want affection and love. I get it by going to bars and being gregarious, off-the-cuff, flirtatiously feisty. Wow have I got myself a reputation in a small town like this. Yowza.”

I was attracted to this writing and it made me think about my husband. Charlotte, this is no remark or judgment on you whatsoever, I just like your writing. It gives a picture of a flirtatious woman is all. It made me wonder how he would react if he ran into you and you ran into him.

I wound up asking him. His answer surprised me but before I did I got thinking about this.

Let’s say a man blows off a flirtatious woman so as not to have trouble with his wife or girlfriend? Is that considered “pussy whipped?”

And what if he does not blow her off – flirts back. We’re talking about attached men, here. Does that make him a dog?

So here’s the question: Just exactly what is a good (loyal) man (who is attached) supposed to do when he encounters a flirtatious woman?


61 thoughts on “What Should A Married Man To Do When A Woman Flirts With Him?”

  1. Third house venus conjunct uranus (scorpio)here… flirting gets me through the day. A girl I used to work with would chide me, reminding me that I had a boyfriend and how would I feel if he was doing the same thing… I told her what a wise old sailor told me once…
    “it don’t matter where you get your appetite, as long as you go home for dinner.”
    She gave me the dirtiest look I have ever seen, as though my personal opinions had sullied the sanctity of her relationship and pronounced in front of all our coworkers that I was “the most immoral bitch” she had ever met. What I wanna know is why do some people identify so heavily with thier sense of moral righteousness that when they encounter someone whose only crime against them is difference of opinion, they feel personally threatened and will publicly lash out? I mean really, what the hell kind of mountain of insecurities is that about?

  2. I had fun getting an answer on this from my man today – he said what he would do is disappear! Say he had to go to the bathroom and never come back, or step away quietly to hang out with the guys in his band. How Moon-Neptune is this guy?

    After all these comments, I probably fall most in line with Charlotte, Lupa, and notatirem et al. Flirting is an end in itself and it makes you feel alive. (Other things that make you feel alive include loving and being honest with your SO, so you need to balance.) It is hard to lump all flirting and flirters into one category, because their underlying integrity is a great distinguisher. If your man or woman flirts, but at the end of the day you know they have a reputation of being emotionally, physically, or whatever-kinda faithful to you? Fine with me. If the flirter is a person who is a known cheater? Not so harmless anymore. And what exactly defines cheating is variable for every couple, but I think honesty is key.

    I enjoy flirting and I have Gemini and Libra. I like to keep it interesting and charming, but I do not feel good when it crosses a line, and I have been in those situations too.

  3. I’m guessing my husband would respond, but he’s always hanging out with girls and chatting with them so I don’t really think anything of it. Now, if he acts contradictory to who he really is, then I’m be upset. There was one girl once he did act different around, he didn’t pay her attention like he does with everyone else, he paid her specific attention and was not his normal self. That bothered me, we talked about it, and eventually she went one way in her life and we went another so no harm was done.

    Basically I don’t mind if he flirts or doesn’t, but if someone make him act different – then I’m on alert.

  4. “it don’t matter where you get your appetite, as long as you go home for dinner.”
    Notatirem,I love that one.
    Another 7th house gemini Jupiter here (Venus/Mars cappy 2nd house get me home for dinner).

  5. Maybe I’m missing the point but if he’s not interested it seems simple enough not to flirt back. (and there are a couple really smooth ways to not flirt back in the comments already.) Whatever his reasons for not being interested are are no business of anyone else’s.

    On a tangential aside: I admit to a fundamental lack of understanding on the whole possessive-partner thing. (And again, not directed at anyone specific, as I see this a lot) As in “that’s my man, back off.” I am just not wired that way, and I realize how weird it is that I’m not.

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    Well, there’s what a man’s wife or girlfriend would like him to do, and then there’s what he’s probably going to do. Also, he may not have his wedding ring on while he’s out at that bar either so the flirter may be clueless to his true status.

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