I’m just off the phone with a client who’s feeling lousy. He was worried that bad things were going to happen in regards to a relationship he’s serious about.
“No, I don’t think so,” I said. “It’s a fear. You’re feeling bad about over what you did. It’s an inside job, rather then something bad that is going to happen. You did something you wished you didn’t. You feel guilty. This is what it feels like when you do this thing. You feel bad…”
It’s common to see people who are massively defended against even the slightest suggestion they might have done something wrong. It’s heartening to watch this young man, as he matures into someone who will live by their conscience.
This is true, even if he can find legions of people who will tell him that whatever he does is excusable. He’s got Saturn in Capricorn and it’s obviously functioning.
When you feel like crap, over something you did, do you internalize the lesson? Or do you look for excuses and people who will agree with you?
Hah! I thought everyone felt this way about the mistakes they make ! I am, too, Saturn in Capricorn. 2nd house … my sense of self-value is very much wrapped up in how others value me. The man in the mirror effect.
I certainly battle with this almost daily – guilt – was it my fault? Analysis after analysis, beating myself up and then start all over again until it’s all ironed out. I have saturn in aries but I have sun and mercury in Capricorn (saturn conjunct moon square mercury….just to weigh it all down even more)It’s tough some days but worth every worry, there’s gold in Saturn’s pain…..eventually.
Jimmer
I have Saturn in cap too & i can relate.
Same here
Saturn in Taurus, but this is me to a T. Had a feeling something bad would happen on Friday with someone and it did. I have felt awful all weekend. I’m Libra so we internalize and think, think, think, think… Almost the same situation, had a feeling something bad would happen with someone I really liked and possibly wanted something serious with. However, I kept having this nagging feeling that something bad would happen between us… ugh, I hate being right. I’m always torn between just staying away when I have those feelings about someone or thinking I am just psyching myself out about it..The Libra in me has to stand up for myself sometimes, especially if I feel I am being devalued or taken for granted in any way. But I always feel absolutely awful about it when words are spoken. I hate conflict.
Saturn. My Chart ruler. Even if I do find excuses & people who agree with me, I will internalise it & beat the living HELL out of myself.
Days later when I might have settled down some, I’ll get a random flash of what happened & start flogging myself again.
You have to watch that cycle- if I didn’t? I could probably go on & on for years…
Hah, yeah, it’s not my ruler but it hits most of my planets and I immediately go on a permanent Shame Spiral and beat myself up. I must love doing it, really, because how the hell else am I going to learn to not fuck up again and again?
I have Saturn in Capricorn and even if my harsh reaction to something is “understandable,” I still feel bad about it and am willing to apologize.
Saturn in Leo conjunct Sun – yep, feel guilty, run it through my brain 650 times, worry about it etc.
You’d think this lets up after a while, like when you see that the whatevers were not so bad as it seems (or even non-existant!) But apparently this mind set does not lessen with time, always fresh.
Saturn is a good way to keep a Leo humble.
When I feel like crap, it’s usually because I’m confused and stupid. Like taking users personally. Being too ready to believe the nice and then being hurt when they have what they want and switch to mean. Duhhhh! I don’t think pluto square saturn lets me get away with much to feel guilty about. I do acknowlege my less than desirable behavior at times. I think I’m all into personal growth so I don’t have to feel crappy. Maybe jupiter conjuncting my sun is not all bad. Feeling crappy is not fun. natal moon sextile jupiter.
Well it is cool to be able to pin the guilt partially on my 10H Saturn in Capricorn!
Notch I really like your comment about personal development, that is the direction I am working towards because the guilt just decimates me. Occasionally I learn but mostly it has been worry, obsess, then shut down in apathy from the stress. Not good, not good at all.
Dealing with this right now. I DID do something awful but maybe some forgiveness towards myself wouldn’t be so bad. I was coming from a place of pain, after all.
Funny; I was thinking the other day that it’s a good sign that my conscience is still working.
Saturn in Scorpio in 2nd… squaring Mars. I have to remember to release my rage when things don’t go my way. Then the anger goes inside and turns into deep depression. I’m trying to take control of it by staying on anti-depressants and keeping on track with my goals to stay healthy and work towards my future achievements. The weight feels so heavy… living paycheck to paycheck, always scraping by. I have to throw my hands up to God, and trust in him/her that looking deep within to my problems will bring release and evaluating my psyche and making the necessary changes and adjustments. Good thing is that I am a fierce believer that ending one’s life via suicide is not the way, especially since there are so many opportunities, beauty and things to discover within the world.
I have guilt issues and fears over the smallest things… like yesterday, I only get 6 hours of work (which I had planned for 8). I’m always running situations through my head over and over and I feel the guilt even if I didn’t do anything wrong…
Saturn in Virgo: conj IC, trine Moon in Taurus, sextile Venus and Uranus, square Mercury, Neptune and Sun in Sag. I wish Saturn would just go away!
(right now transit Saturn is opposite my Moon and conj my Uranus and I’m having severe anxiety issues.
I have Saturn and Venus conjunct in my natal chart and when I mess up there is no end of people to inform me and not only that I pay dearly so I learned that it is best if I forestall all that and just make it right if at all possible as soon as I figure out where I screwed up.
Yeah, everyone is always telling me how horrible I am all the time too. And then other people like my shrink (and my mom, but she’s also part of the problem) are all, “Stop saying how horrible you are!,” but at this point I believe it like I breathe air, you know? There’s such a looooooong list of Horrible Things I Am, after all.
I have no Capricorn whatsoever but I still feel terribly guilty when I screw up.
I have Saturn in Capricorn in the 8th house and I am all too familiar with guilt. But I do think it has made me a better person. I would rather bear massive karma on my shoulders and work through it the hard way by internalizing my lessons than try to keep my ego afloat with excuses while not having changed deep within.