Over the last couple days there have been a slew of comments that characterize Virgos as controlling. I don’t get this at all.
I consider the Cardinal signs to be the control freaks of the zodiac without question!
I have both Capricorn and Libra prominent. It takes one to know one! But for the people who think Virgos are controlling – please ‘splain to Lucy.
In my mind, Virgos communicate what is wrong with you and then go off to do their other work. Um…
Who is the control freak King (or Queen) of the zodiac?
I don’t have much experience with cardinal control freaks (aside from myself, which I can’t entirely deny lol), but my Virgo mom is definitely a control freak. Less so as she ages, but very much so when I was a kid.
Maybe Virgos are controlling but more in a “it’s for your own good” way, whereas Cardinals (ahem Capricorns) are more motivated to control others for their own benefit? I guess that makes Capricorn sound bad but I don’t mean it that way, I’ve just known a lot of them!
My husband had a huge Libra stellium in his 6th house square Capricorn moon and square two planets in Cancer, Taurus rising. He’s extremely Cardinal. He doesn’t control overtly but expects everybody to cooperate with his wants and if it doesn’t happen goes into a quiet bull sitting in the pasture pissed off mode. At work his word is law so no problem there and he wants peace so he approaches people in a kind but firm way.
In my chart there is a fixed grand cross heavy on Scorpio and Aquarius….we definitely tussle with each other to get our way!
The two Libra Sun women I’ve known best (my Ma and one of my BFFs for about five years) were so controlling they’d freak if a mug was out of place in the cupboard. Total control freaks. Both wore the pants in their marriage and even chose their husband’s clothes
One of Ma’s favourite sayings was “There’s a right way and a wrong way to do everything!” – hers, of course 😉 I have to say as a Cap I tend to agree hahaha – mine, of course
OMJ aries are only controlling about themselves and their own lives.. if you are part of it of course they are controlling … main reason why aries prefers to do everything themselves and stay alone and ends up alone… aries energy expects a whole lot from themselves and their own lifes… plus Virgo is on the sixth house cusp, libra on the 7th and cap on the tenth .. it is extremely difficult to satisfy all that drive for perfection.. (just felt like defending aries)
I agree with charlotte about caps.. I think it is a bit of survival instinct, if they aren’t the boss, and can not control everything and have a stake in each pie then who would listen to them … and their whole existence is wrapped up around people needing them… crabs get a bad rap for being needy… cap ensures that they are needed, otherwise they are insanely insecure and would just walk away to another place more suitable because they can’t handle that.. I maybe wrong, but thats the vibe I get from capricorn people
Cherie I want to know the answer to that question too – although I have a loosely formed t square in fixed signs scorpio, taurus, aquarius – not counting my ascendant in leo — I would still like to understand all the controlling cardinal and scorpio energy and how to play fair and respectful with such a type, without cutting them off or lying down and rolling over
Bizarro. I happen to find Fixed signs more controlling than Cardinal but maybe that’s just me.
I’ve Cardinal energy in my chart. I don’t care for control unless I’ve been crossed.
And I think Caps are just big-time anal. They like to control, too, but in my experience it hasn’t been in an unhealthy way.
I dunno. Everyone likes to control somewhere…
I don’t see myself as controlling. I see a better way to do things. Not everyone sees that. Now, my Leo Rising…that can give me a tendency to want to be the center of attention and to Lord over others…..
I agree Virgo is not controlling. Nothing makes Virgo happier than having a worthy leader to follow, a worthy cause to serve.
Mr. Carson from Downton Abbey is a good example of Virgo. He’s in control of servants’ affairs but everything does is in SERVICE to the upholding the ideals of Downtown Abbey.
Last comment – Note that Mr. Carson trusts in Lord Crawley’s decisions. He doesn’t manipulate Lord Crawley.
I think Susan Miller (Astrology Zone) says it well when she describes a Virgo-Virgo love relationship… “Virgos like to be helpful, so this is a union of two eager beavers helping one another get ahead without competition. Yet both of you are highly critical. If you train your razor-sharp analysis on this love affair, can it survive such a tough investigation? This is one tendency both of you will have to keep in check; when you two argue, you will be cool and objective in a chilly sort of way, slicing one another into little ribbons like only Virgos could. Ouch! You will hold your own in any argument, but the scars could take time to heal. Remember, you can’t get the toothpaste back into the tube.”
It’s fun to think back on this. It really threw me for a loop when I first started checking sites on astrology, being a virgo and all.
Some still seem to push control into one solar pen or another. I really do not understand why some of the supposed accomplished astrologers do this. They must know something I don’t.
I know there are controllers, but I must say I respect the ones that are out front about it and don’t dress it up. It’s the manipulation that gets me every time.
And when controllers are in a position of power and negatively affect other lives, well, I’m not always so comfortable with that. But I guess I can always just say no or walk away if it’s too much.
I vote for Cancers. Is manipulation the same thing as control?
One virgo woman I knew once believed no one had any genuine bodily need to fart. Ever.
As I think about it, I think every sign can be considered “controlling” in their own way: Aries =Bossy; Cancer = Mamma guilt; Capricorn = the “Boss”; Leo = the Kings and Queens; Scorpio = the ultimate “mastermind”…etc. Virgos? Well, where I see Capricorns as “The Police”, I see Virgos as “policing”. They are the Jiminy Crickets, the conscience of the zodiac. They’ll remind you — constantly — what you’re not quite doing right, what you could do better, what is the best practice. Fussy? You bet. Expert quality control managers? Absolutely. Can that feel controlling? Indeed – especially if you are not in the mood to be corrected!
hmm…the negative virgo moons I know are the most nitpicky and controlling when they tell you exactly what is wrong with you down to every last detail in their opinion…and they go around doing this to everyone in their vicinity, but if you do it back to them they can’t handle it…so in effect they are trying to control everyone’s every action, speech, gesture, clothing, values while claiming they have no faults…(because it’s only for their knowledge…)
That is pure control for control’s sake to work off metal energy at others’ expense –
give me a Libra or Capricorn who leads people and gets them to do things for a goal, so we can actually get something done, any day!
Maybe some Virgos appear controlling because they often have Libra in their charts? My Virgo mother was very controlling but in a manipulative way… she’d use the old “Do whatever you want but I’ll be very disappointed” trick if I didn’t do exactly what she wanted and that got to me every time when I was young. I put that down to her Scorpio Mars (and Capricornn Moon), not her Virgo Sun.
I think Virgos can be controlling. It just depends on the way you use the word “controlling.” If it’s in the sense of “master of my own little domain and stapler” yeah. Otherwise, they’re more annoyingly nitpicky giving advice, but not demanding that it be implemented. God help you if the virgo considers you part of their own little domain though. :p
There are some really excellent and funny comments here. I love it.
Virgo will Pick. Capricorn and Scropio will control.
I didn’t read the other comments, so I apologize if this is a repeat, but I have always thought Virgos are controlling. Speaking to the extreme here, one little hair out of place and they flip out, lol.
@ J: THAT is funny as hell.
I still feel that any sign can be controlling in some way.
Yeah, I agree that Virgo will Pick. And I suppose some people react to that and thus they *feel* controlled because it gets under their skin. But that’s people’s own discomfort with receiving critical information! Virgo is a mutable sign – how can a noodle control anything or anyone? I’d go with Capricorn and Scorpio for controlling.
“In my mind, Virgos communicate what is wrong with you and then go off to do their other work. Um…”
Nicely said Elsa. I am going to have to go with Kathryn though. Having a stellium in Virgo, we just need to point out the necessary. We don’t have time for control, nor do we care in truth.
I’ve experienced mostly Scorpios and Cancers to be extremely controlling (but also manipulative) they are the type who need to know what you are doing at every moment of the day and then approve or disapprove of it lol. Virgos can be controlling too, but about little things, and you’re right, they quickly get bored if people don’t take their suggestions and move onto more productive things lol. Mercury in Cancer wants everybody to agree with their ideas. My mom has this. Aquarians can be controlling too when it comes to their ideologies. Sometimes they won’t shut up.
Aquarians can be controlling when it comes down to moving something in their home one inch out of place. And also if group activities are not going according to their exact plan. Seems like every sign has some control issues or other.
Yeah, my Virgo Asc.-Scorpio friend and I were getting ready to go out to lunch the other day. I grabbed my purse and was heading out the door, when she says “Oh, you got a new purse? More of a satchel actually. It really doesn’t become you.” Matter of fact…
I just looked at her, mouth agape, and then she says “Oh, whatever. Just stop looking at me like that and let’s go.”
To top it all off, we were at the mall yesterday, and she stops at a window display and points to one of those hideous vinyl purses, with “Bride of Frankenstein” and her picture emblazoned in electric blue on the side and says “Now, I don’t usually carry a purse, but I would love to have that.” In light of her insulting my simple, forest green, All-Weather-Leather, vintage Dooney and Bourke satchel, I simply said “It wouldn’t become you,” and walked on.
I have cap asc/cancer sun/Virgo moon. My sisters: libra asc/ Virgo sun/Scorpio moon and Virgo asc/cancer sun/Pisces moon. I wouldn’t say we are controlling people so much as we are people who don’t feel comfortable losing control. As far as I’m concerned, these are *very* different things. Anyone with Virgo rising or personal planets in Virgo can tell you that we are much harder on ourselves than anyone else. We have a pathological need to understand our environment and the people in it. There’s a lot of analysis going on, all the time. If we make someone else feel bad, we feel bad too. We try to figure out what is wrong so that we can make it right. This isn’t meant to be controlling, we really, really want to help. Most of us believe we MUST try & try again, if necessary. We also usually 1st point our fingers at ourselves before turning them on others. That’s not the same thing as being controlling. I also don’t believe cardinal signs are controlling, as a rule. Cardinal signs initiate, they’re supposed to be the idea people. Starters. Most of the “cardinal” personalities I’m acquainted with, myself included, are assertive and occasionally dominant but again, not the same thing as being controlling. Possibly, if “controlling” can be attributed to a modality, it’s fixed signs. Especially mars in a fixed sign since mars is the planet of action or mars in aspect to Pluto or even Pluto in a fixed sign. Virgo can be critical, especially self critical but we don’t hear much about them trying to enforce their will on other people.
Of course, I meant to disagree respectfully! I have been accused of being a control freak and so has one of my sisters but I just attributed that to the fact that we both have mars in Leo… although she also has a cardinal ascendant (and a fixed moon): she’s the bossiest of us 🙂
cancer! at least, when running with the pouting and the sulking and the passive aggressiveness.
…but only because i was raised by a four planet cancer stellium and then i married a cancer sun… i gots my own cardinal going on too… (if only because i’ve had to learn to push back!)
which is to say, i’m very sensitive to cancer control energy when it’s applied.
I must not be living up to my Virgo Sun. I never offer unsolicited suggestions or advice because I figure I wouldn’t be especially appreciative of receiving it myself. And when people do ask for my input, i am usually hesitant to give it. People don’t really want the truth anyway. They want to feel good. So I think of some completely innocuous comment, a nice little warm fuzzy that won’t ruffle any feathers or hurt any sensitive feelings that will allow them to walk away feeling good about whatever. That way everyone is happy. They get to feel good and I get no drama. Easy peasy. Win win.
As for trying to control others, I have very strong boundaries and I am very sensitive to others trying to be controlling of me, so I don’t do it to others. It’s only fair. Besides, I have a Leo rising…I don’t care about anyone else but me. lol Basically, my motto is live and let live. Don’t bother with me and I definitely won’t bother with you.
“wyrdling
as a virgo ascendant… i usually keep my mouth shut. i have more important things to do than manage other people’s lives.”
As a Virgo Sun, I couldn’t agree with you more on that. I have much better things to do than criticize or control others. I care about me… controlling and criticizing ME. I don’t have time for the rest of the world. lol
I choose Scorpio. My friend has her husband and kids happily doing what she says they should. I dunno how she does it.
Looking at myself, I don’t want to be in situations where I will be controlled or restricted. This is Libra I guess.
I don’t think I get my way too often. I spend a lot of time alone. I’m not crying or sulking either, honestly! 🙂
Has anyone mentioned Leo? A big guy having a Leo tantrum is something else. You have to have some guts not to give into him.
As a Virgo I automatically like to make stuff better ie the room the yard. I wish I had been a designer or architect.
I think its those Scorpios that are controlling. I am an 8th house Sun so I should know!
Wow, don’t have time to read all these posts so I am sure this has been addressed but the fixed signs seem the most controlling to me. Taurus, Leo, Scorpio. I have them on my angular houses with a mutable Gemini Sun and Pisces Moon which makes me initially stubborn to change but once I make the change I adapt to it. Until it’s time to change again!
As a Sun Virgo conjunct Pluto Virgo and Scorpio rising – I know I can only control ME – no matter how much I wish I could control others – I know I can’t. So I concentrate on controlling myself, my own life etc.
I will say – I have met some controlling Capricorns in my time and some non-controlling ones too. My mom is a Taurus and she is a bit of control freak. So go figure.
Why do other signs see Virgo as controlling? My only guess would be because we are often quite opinionated about how to do things and always offer up our helpful advice and services which unfortunately most other signs take the wrong way (or in my case, use me and take me for granted than step all over me) – My intentions when I do this is often for the best interest of the party involved (completely unselfish on my side) but some people can’t take the advice or help of a Virgo (even if we are right or our advice is the better) because they often are too stubborn or prideful. People of other signs need to realize that Virgos like to help and serve – If you take this the wrong way, yes, you will see us as controlling. Put your pride and guards down long enough to see that Virgos are just trying to help you out – not control you.
I often come across people that ask for my advice or opinion and than get mad when I give it because it wasn’t what they were hoping for and than look at it as us trying to control or change them. Too bad – what did you ask me for than? I try to avoid those people because I don’t care to waste my time with those who are not appreciative of my help. This Virgo has better things to do. If you don’t want to take my advice, fine – your loss. But don’t get pissed because, well, you asked and the Virgo gave it to you. Geez.
How many other Virgos out there like me often feel people use you because they know you will be the first to offer up your helpful services? I certainly do. This Virgo is finally learning how to say No everyonce and a while.
Just to add too – As a Virgo, my self-worth is often tied up in whether or not I feel of use in the world. A Virgo who feels like she/he is not appreciated and that no one needs their help can be a sad and depressed Virgo. Virgos likes little projects to keep themselves busy. I don’t know about the rest of the Virgos on here but I am most content and happy when I feel like I am being useful to someone. So, other signs keep that in mind – this desire to feel useful might spiral out of control in some Virgos and may look like a controlling behavior.
It’s kinda weird to answer posts and comments that are years and years old, but well, rereading this thread after almost 10 years has proven to be just what I needed this evening. Yes, Virgo here, quite a strong one, but also virtually a fire-sign person. I love all the insights I see here, really. But it’s really interesting to see Virgos explain themselves. I can relate to all you say. It’s like it’s taken (me) a lifetime to learn how to be a Virgo who can actually handle all the disparate emotions and motivations of the Zodiac, people that is.
My mum is a Superhelpful Virgo. Id say queenfluff youve just about described her in your comment. She has her moon in leo so whenever we have a family gathering or party she often has to act in total control.She has to come across as a leader and always has to feel useful even to the most insignificant of issues! Im using ‘has to’ a lot because she expects a lot out of everybody and herself. It just so happens i have my venus in virgo too.
Yes i can see Virgos as controlling, they want things to be done their way or its not done properly, and they are critical if its not done that way.
Now this isnt alone controlling, but when they manipulate someone to do something their way through negative comments and critism, or simply redoing something, it spills over into controlling.
But i do feel the controllers of the Zodiac are scorpios!
However if you have someone with strong Virgo and scorpio placements in their chart…i would run the other way!
I say this a cancerian thats often overruled by Taurus and leo in my chart, my one piece of Virgo is mars int he 6th….my staff know that its easier to do things my way or do it again
I don’t think virgos are controlling they are peope who basically see things they feel need fixing with a person and than either complains about the persons shortcomings or start making the person feel stupid…this is done for the virgo to attempt to change the other person to this perfect human being…something that not even the virgo is capable of being…they are nitpickers they talk about others…they are nosy and sneaky and private and not really meant for a relationship…they have no patience…hey expect shit out of others…they even depend on others…they would rather a person change who they are so they don’t have to see the other persons flaws…they can be mean…I knew one that was banking on their baby mammas tax return to fund his music career but treated her bad..he didn’t really want the relationship or the baby and kept saying it but tried to stick around for the tax return…they one day got into an arguement over the virgos selfishness and the virgo got mad and the baby mamma was holding the five month old baby and the virgo screamed at her at the top of his lungs just I inch away from her face scaring the baby…he is angry…the virgos are no good unless they are successful..they are mean and can be cold it depends on where they are at in life…if they are happy they will be good towards you if they are not happy who ever is closest to them they will be deceitful sarcastic revengeful and mean…
Again, I apologize because it is now 2015, but I just want to say that selfishness, pettiness, likelyhood of getting desperate financially are not provinces of any one Astro sign.
This helpful crap is for friends and ppl who ask virgo for their opinion cause they know virgo will tell the truth…virgo is not helpful for no reason it feels good to tell everybody what they need to do but no one can tell the virgo what to do…they think they are right…but a lot of them are lazy nosy irritating secretive cheaters and oh big ass liars…ppl virgo are annoying…they are just good for sex or a friend not good for relationships…leos stay away from virgos they just think we are go for anythings because we give too much of ourselves…they are around for benefits in a relationship…they are very independent and unless they are doing good for themselves and with someone they really like they will treat u like shit and tear you apart!
I think they are very subtly controlling and will make suggestions which make you think and question yourself. It’s hard to explain what I mean. I’ve only ever dated one Virgo and he’s not only put me off Virgo’s, he’s put me off men. They are pedantic and I don’t know I didn’t smack him in the face LOL he kept calling me pedantic just because my opinion didn’t correspond with his, he would say something and then follow it with ‘agree with me’ I didn’t know if I was meant to agree or have my own opinion and speak up, he told me I needed more fight then I never seen him again gee whizz! Well as they say the grass is greener on the other side.
I dunno, I’m married to a Virgo guy with a stellium conjuncting his sun. He is one smart s.o.b and amazingly detail oriented,works hard and always has risen high wherever he has worked.I’ve never met a man who works as hard as he does. He is the quintessential manager. I think that’s what it is,he loves order. It’s important for his well-being and when that is not possible the negative manifestations come out.An organizer of the first order.I appreciate that about him but it drove me crazy for years because I’m not one who likes to be organized by other people, but, I have learned to respect his input and if it doesn’t ring true for me I just do my own thing and it’s fine.
I have my sun, mars, and venus chart ruler in virgo. Nobody has ever accused me of being controlling, and I know for a fact that I am not. A virgo likes to be in control of themselves and of their emotions, not others. I think it’s because we like telling people how they could IMPROVE something that we get this rep, but we don’t impose our will on them… they’re just suggestions 😉 A virgo likes to serve, they think they are doing a service by helping people trying to improve… we don’t always realize not everybody cares about self improvement like we do.
The most controlling people I’ve met in my life were either Aries, Cancer, Scorpio, or Leo. That’s just my experience. Now if you get one of those and combine it with Virgo – then it might becomes crazy. The Capricorns I know were more likely to want to be in total control of themselves than others.
A virgo has a hard time accepting their flaws, we’re always striving for perfection or to better ourselves because we can’t stand the flaws. Some virgos need to realize that other people are OK with making mistakes and are more accepting of their flaws and imperfections. It’s not our place to decide for them if they want to or should improve or not. Some virgos know this, others don’t. I think that’s where other signs/planets and personality influence. I have a strong uranian chart, so I like to respect other people’s freedom and individuality to chose, just like I want them to respect mine.
I am Libra and a leader but most definately not controlling, there is a difference. I encourage teamwork and a fair workplace. I have Virgo at work who just wants to control but not lead, again, there is a difference. She thinks the way she is and does things is the only way and is very critizing of others who are different so makes jokes that are not actually jokes. She is yes man to boss whether she agrees or not. I stand up to boss if need be and that includes standing up for one of my team members. She will pass the buck to someone else even if it was her lack of leadership that caused the problem. I will not pass the buck because Libran fairness will not allow this. My Virgo colleage, in my view should not lead because of this negative controlling nature.
As a Virgo myself I’ve often wondered why we are painted so negatively. It’s refreshing to see this questioned. I do notice everything and sugarcoat nothing…but I also don’t judge, which I think is where the biggest misunderstanding comes in. It’s kind of a bummer that being direct is considered a negative trait. I think people take our actions as stepping on their toes, but if I start picking up the place I’m in it isn’t at all because I think you’re doing a shit job, it’s because we are wired to, if we see a need, fill it. The controlling thing is actually comical to me, we are inherently bad at telling people what to do, so bad in fact that we would rather just do it ourselves! I think it’s also important to separate what may just be a person with a bad attitude from a Virgo, sometimes there no explanation for a rotten apple!
Thanks Elsa!
I agree, as I said above somewhere, it’s really great to see a bunch of Virgos trying to explain themselves. There are negative sides to every sign, and there are times when any individual falls toward their negative default thought and behavior. Interesting what you say about being direct, while also pointing out that “we are inherently bad at telling people what to do.” I agree, utterly, and the conclusion too, that we’d rather do it ourselves (because we’ve been so battered emotionally in the past by people’s negative reactions to our “helpfulness.” I am at a loss though how to characterize my motivations. Sometimes they are this, and sometimes they are that. I think the best that can be said is that a Virgo needs something to do (and someone else said that above). Rarely can he or she just stay still and enjoy the passage of time, especially when their is anything social going on around them. And yes, if they’re not feeling productive or appreciated in some palpable way, they (I) can get really pissy, embarrassingly so.