Why Do Aries Like to Argue?

smiling soldier
I love the smell of battle in the morning.

Aries are well known hotheads. They generally have a hair-trigger temper and rarely back down from a fight. But why are they like this? Surely this can’t be fun for them? No one can actually be happy this way, right?

Well, actually, they can. Aries is ruled by Mars, which is the warrior of the zodiac, and the Sun is our vital life force. So when an Aries is blowing their top, they are feeling vitally alive. They are expressing their energy in an authentic way. And what feels better than authenticity?

Now, this certainly isn’t all that Aries is good at. Mars is a multi-faceted planet, so you’ll also see Aries happy as a clam when they’re taking action, being heroic, defending the underdog, having sex, driving fast, etc. But sometimes nothing hits the spot quite like a good conflict.

Of course, that can make life pretty difficult for the rest of us, but it gets easier when you realize that for them, anger is just part of life. Yelling ranks right alongside brushing their teeth and putting gas in the car. Aries fury rarely lasts long, and more importantly, it is very rarely personal. Sometimes they just need to scream it out. Hell, they may not even be truly angry! There are times when an argument is just plain sport. Take this exchange I had with my Aries partner:

“You like difficult women! Every girlfriend you’ve had has been willing to battle, and the more formidable an opponent they are, the more you like them.”

“That’s not true at all! My first girlfriend was shy! She barely spoke!”

“Oh, you mean the one who you always say you were desperately bored with?”

“Well, yeah. She wouldn’t disagree with me when I said things that even I knew were absurd. She’d always go along with it. It drove me crazy.”

“Then why are you arguing with me about it? You just proved my point.”



Or take an Aries friend of mine. I can always tell she’s in a good mood when she purposely picks at me or starts an argument over something absurd like the Oxford comma, sandwiches, or whether a compliment I gave her was somehow too nice. And it always culminates in a gleeful, thunderous “FIGHT ME.”

They’re not angry, they’re not upset, and they’re definitely not malicious! They are simply being exactly who they are. And really, it’s beautiful to behold. I love seeing the mischief glinting in their eyes, watching them work themselves up to 11, and then just as suddenly dial it back down. And the gratitude and relief on their face is priceless when they see you can stand up, land a few verbal blows yourself, and then laugh it off. For Aries, fighting is part of how they play and even how they show affection. And when you understand that, you understand them. So the next time your Aries loses their cool, feel free put on your armor and go to war. And when it blows over, smile and let them know that you love them, every silly, exuberant, aggressive inch. They’ll return the favor in spades.

Do you like a good argument?

20 thoughts on “Why Do Aries Like to Argue?”

  1. Thabks for such a great post concerning Aries.

    My son has a massive 4 planet stellium in the sign: Mars (0deg), Venus(1deg), Moon (6deg), Uranus (14deg). 3rd house. All trine Saturn, which can make his movements more deliberate and succinct.

    Certainly, his 29deg Sag ASC and 1st house Cap Pluto adds too this.

    He’s super energetic, loves anything hero related. What’s cool to see is how his Aqua Merc opposing Jupiter takes affect, seeing the big picture.

    What you’ve stated Midara has helped me see the BIGGER picture for Aries folks.

  2. I hate it , my partner has the Moon at 1 degree Aries in 4th House, imagine….The moon is peregrine.
    It is so hard sometimes.

  3. Depends on what your deal is. I can see some signs enjoying Aries and their playfights.

    I am too Aquarian.

    Aquarius’s best weapon is its hat. They put it on and they go.

    1. You are so right! I’m an Aquarius too. Arguing is either traumatic or boring for me. Sometimes my hat is my best friend. 🙂

  4. “Jesus’ parents, Ayn Rand and Karl Marx.” (No Oxford comma!).

    The Oxford comma is not absurd!!!;))))

    Very much joshin’ ya! Although I’ve obviously had that exact conversation. This is an awesome post and so true of my Aries Moon, which I’ve actually learned to tame quite a lot, and am still learning. My progressed moon in Taurus has helped a lot as well as leaning on my other natal placements, instead of just rolling with that lunar instinct. I’ve liked turning down the heat actually, and being more conscious of what consideration means to others. It’s been a joyful challenge to really pay attention to what others are feeling and honoring that. I’ve always treated people the way I’d like to be treated, but then realized that the next step is recognizing that other people like to be treated differently, across the whole spectrum of experience and interaction. I like sass and jokes and being direct but not everyone does, and everyone has their own baggage, and I love those people, too. This shift has actually allowed me to gain better focus and be taken more seriously in my own life, so it’s been a really good thing all around.

    I will say, I do still feel super comfortable around other Aries Moons, and it’s one energy I always recognize in other people. It’s just direct and warm. No subterfuge, or manipulation/gaslighting, and no intent of meanness at all. Aries Moons don’t feel like that have to “get” anything from or over anyone, so they’ll just ask or state plainly, and will accept a yes or no, no worries. All is forgiven and it’s just a good place for having honest conversation. I feel very safe around it. I still have a hard time responding to some subtle modes of conversation as I’m sensitive and alert to even the slightest passive aggression (that feels like violence and entrapment to me)—I used to not know how to respond to it at all. I do now recognize that more indirect modes of communication aren’t inherently used with ill intent so I just have to be more cognizant of what they are saying and meaning and gentler in my responses. Asking clarifying questions helps, too.

    I have two nephews, and one has his moon conjunct my moon, and the other has his sun conjunct our moons. Being with them and watching them grow is a thing out of this world.

    1. Also, to add some clarification, one of my majors is in English, and I was raised by a writer who used to not believe in the O.C (her background is in old school print where they used to leave it out to save ink and space), so it’s been a hot topic of conversation around here for a few years —it was just so funny that you mentioned it:)). I hear how ridiculous this sounds, and it is!! Lolol.

      1. Buendia, if it makes you feel better, I am the one strongly in favor of the Oxford comma. That’s why it’s such an easy fight to pick! Eats, Shoots & Leaves is a beloved companion in my household. 😛

        1. Haha! My household feels the same about that book! More power to you!! That sentence above was how I finally convinced my mom, even though she’s just as devoted to Eats, Shoots & Leaves lololol she stubborn.

  5. I cant stand aries suns and marses. other then that, I just adoore aries moon and aries venuses<3. I have aries venus-jup-node stellium in 8th. Aries sun and Aries marses are just too tense. We will play argue so much that I get just irritated and tense in the end. I also find them too selfish and me me meee! No tactfulness or gracefulness in those I have in my life. But as said, aries moon n venus people are a whole other story

    1. I agree with all of the words above lol
      I am married to a mars in Aries, have a GD with Sun and rising. They like to argue. smh… and they are selfish. MEMEMEMEMEMEME
      I stomp it out at least once a week… from both of them. And I have been for years. Poke, poke, poke ….STOMP.


  6. Aw c’mon you love us really! Aries Sun, Moon, Mars in 5th natally and Scorpio rising. Husband is Virgo with Aries Rising and a Sag Moon so you can imagine! We’ve been together 18 argumentative, fight filled years but love still rules and we’ve knocked a lot of corners off. We do still wind each other up massively about virtually everything, but sharing a sense of humour, going through sadnesses and grief, supporting each other’s dreams and a love of our beautiful dogs means time has vulcanised us. And we never take each other for granted because arguing always keeps things on a knifes edge. People said we’d last 6 months so there you are.

  7. Yes. With other fire signs it’s easier , I do recognize this a lot in myself . It’s hard too because I grew up in a household where arguments where one sided, and harsh . I’ve recently reconciled with the need for someone who can fight back. I don’t condone what went on between my parents , but the older I get the easier I can understand how it could have been different. I’m not trying to diminish spousal abuse , but I’ve felt like a bully so many times where the field was open for retribution, or counter arguments or equal indignation, but the other person just laid down. I’ve been that person too and I’ve seen what I’ve made other people with the same type of energy feel. Those non malicious, twinkle in eye play fights about all and nothing is fun , just spot on Midara. I do try to respect people who don’t want to..

  8. My sun, Venus, Saturn and NN are in Aries, and I hate fighting! I do have a quick temper but see it very much as a fault.

  9. Aries energy is not for everyone. I can see how someone really earthy or watery would be turned off. I have Aries rising and pretty airy so I love them.

    I have a Aries sun/ mercury brother in law and people can’t stand him. Lol he’s too straight forward with no tact. My husband and I enjoy his company. My husband has an Aries stellium too so we just vibe well.

    1. Men with a lot of earth in their charts LOVE me, lol. I have a bunch of water in my chart, too, plus a Libra SN, so I’m very aware of others’ feelings and tone things down when appropriate. Can’t imagine an Aries Mercury–that sounds like trouble!

  10. I LOVE an argument!! Haha. Aries ascendant, ruler Mars squares my Moon. My husband has the same aspect tied up with Venus so this is us everyday. Super crazy for a Cancer and a Virgo 😉

  11. I’ll add that interesting discussion with lots of opinions and passion doesn’t feel like an argument to me. I don’t like confrontation or fighting for the sake of it. The more direct all involved can be, the more interesting the avenues of discussion. I’m not attached to my ideas, and I can love you to the ends of the earth, but that doesn’t mean I’ll agree with you just for the sake of agreeing with you. I won’t be rude or anything, I just don’t want a relationship of any type based on that. It’s seems like some people interpret disagreement itself as rude or a confrontation. Different strokes, and all. Different ears. And of course, there’s a time and a place for everything.

    I was talking to a person I went to a party with once, and after we left, I said, it seems like to socialize well (with acquaintances or people you’d don’t know well) you have to agree with everything someone says (I was in observation mode, not passionate conversation mode). Their response: Yes.

    That bummed me out. My favorite placement for Mercury is Libra. They can usually disagree or say something difficult really diplomatically. It’s an amazing ability that I’m in awe of. I like all the air Mercury’s.

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