Hi, Elsa.
I have a ton of paradox in my chart in the form of oppositions of Aries and Libra. I want to be in relationship / I want to be the most independent I can be! What are some keys to resolving astrological paradox? Do many of us “sign up for” of “choose” charts that challenge us to work through paradox. Maybe in order to resolve dualistic thinking and become more integrated souls?
Challenged
United States
Hi, Challenged.
Though I understand what you’re saying, I don’t see the Aries/Libra opposition the way you do. Your flip-flopping may simply be your Libra side, struggling to pick a side.
My perspective comes in part from observing my son. He has a Aries/Libra opposition that dominates his chart. He most definitely wants to be a in a relationship, but not the point where he’s going to lay down and die. He’s not going to be controlled, basically. But there is no way he wants to be alone.
You can see by this example, it’s not necessary to deny one side in favor of the other. You can have Aries qualities and be married.
As for choosing our charts, that’s a secular viewpoint. I used to see it that way but I no longer do. I think we’re born with gifts and impediments we have to overcome. I don’t know that we choose them, though.
What do others think?
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I COMPLETELY relate. However, you’re right, Elsa – the key factor is, understanding that you can HAVE a relationship that doesn’t force you to “lay down and die” (basically that’s not a healthy relationship according to any standards) but stimulates you as an individual and grants you breathing space to work on yourself and your goals. I have Sun, Moon and Mercury in Libra and Mars in Aries opposing my Moon, I’m an independent spirit with a drive to be partnered. I fare well with partners that honour my independence, my willpower and my ambitions while still appreciating my soft heard and idealistic Soul. It’s just about finding the right/compatible person to settle with, really.
42 yrs young here with a libra uranus conj asc and a aries venus conj dec. I have been proposed to 5 times. Men quickly seem to seek committment from me. Each time I called it off. On top of that I have nnode in aquarius in the 4th.
Never dreamed of marriage as a kid. Always been a techie/scienctist type who prefers a lab to a house. Am fully aware how independent and particular I am. I feel trapped in relationships. People allow me to be me, but I definitely feel this asc/dec axis, and that nnode in aquarius, is significant.
I’m pretty sure I ‘chose’ my husband tho I didn’t know it at the time. You can see the story acting out across one’s chart – 1st house / 7th house, personal what I want / what he wants. And there is a balance. Luckily I am with a Virgo but there is lots of sync going on and learning and surprises all the time. The main thing is to have your centre, know you are loved, then ask ‘how do I give from the heart without sacrificing myself up?’ A huge issue for Arians, and women. This could be Neptune but it’s the flip side of The Ram. Karma makes us all just leaves on the water but maybe we have little oars to row too!
I don’t believe we choose them either, though I did go through a phase & wore that for a while. It never felt right.
Ha! This post is music to my ears. I have an Aries Sun and Libra Moon (and Libra ascendant), and I most definitely feel the tension between these two signs. Not so much with relationships–I’m actually commitment-phobic and a bit of a loner. But I feel the tension very strongly when it comes to being a brash, blunt, and aggressive Aries in personal interactions or being a nice, diplomatic Libra. I feel better with the former (despite the initial icky feelings it causes) but the latter is an ingrained habit that’s hard to shake.
”He most definitely wants to be a in a relationship, but not the point where he’s going to lay down and die. He’s not going to be controlled, basically.” Thank you for this Elsa, I couldn’t have put it better myself. I have this opposition relatively prominent in my chart as well with Libra Ascendant/Mercury/South Node vs. Aries Descendant/Jupiter/North Node… I need a certain level of autonomy which basically just boils down to being able to be independent enough to make my own basic choices in life without feeling coerced. But, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself without a partner. I *need* to relate and have that companionship. Life feels boring and sort of meaningless without it.
I just separated from a lover with a strong Aries/Libra opposition in his chart. He has the Sun/Venus/Mars conjunct in Aries with Aries rising, and Jupiter/Saturn conjunct in Libra, opposing his Sun/Mars.
He definitely has that wonderful contradiction of being both brash and impulsive while considerate and partner oriented…HOWEVER, as soon as “s**t got real” he completely bailed. This seems to be a pattern with him.
He obviously has to be 100% sure of someone if he is to give up any of that (now Uranus influenced!) Aries independence, so obviously I was not the right person. That Saturn in Libra knows EXACTLY what it’s getting into (he was once in a committed relationship for 9 years, all of his 20s). It’s very all or nothing.
On the other hand, I’ve seen this work out well with other Aries/Libra folks, and I think it really depends on the placements. My Aries gal pal with Libra rising does well in relationships because she maintains her sense of self (Aries sun) while understanding the basics of being a partner (Libra rising).
My older brother is happily married… a Libra sun with an Aries moon. He never waffles about his emotional needs (Aries moon) but he is still a compromising and considerate individual (Libra Sun).
I think this placement can be a valuable asset, if tweeked correctly.
Thanks for the vote of confidence! 🙂
“He most definitely wants to be a in a relationship, but not the point where he’s going to lay down and die. He’s not going to be controlled, basically.” Also agree this is a perfect statement. As an aries I go for what I want and I’m completely independent. I’m usually the initiator and provider in my relationships. I by no means will ever need a partner. However, my libra moon makes the desire to have a partner feel like a “need.” I want someone to share my experiences with.
There is a struggle. Most of my relationships have made me feel small in the past because I gave in too much… time, money, energy. When the scales are too bent, it can hurt my ram’s pride. I’ve had to learn I can’t be with someone who I feel holds me back.
However, I do think the two can work together with the right ingredients. Put an Aries who loves a conquest mixed with a libra moons desire for partnership, it’s my recipe for this hopeless romantic. The trick that worked for me is finding a love that is inspiring and not hindering. I feel like my partner is an equal and ready for an adventure.
No planets in Aries or Libra but the natal north node in Libra sure makes me identify with this. I’m happy both ways really but just when I swear off of any partnerships (and the more I resist) is when someone new and attractive saunters by and changes my mind! Only one ended negatively.
Any sextiles hitting this?
I’m about to project, but.. what about experimenting with partnership and achievement in your work/school life? Going from one to the other, then again. As an Aries, hatch a plan for something you want to do. Involve a business partner or a friend or some other equal partner half the time. As long as youre a productive, fighting hero, occasionally being social and meeting with a partner can be a way to dip your toe into managing the opposition. Or going on dates between independent action.