What Happens When You Project Your Shadow

Kashmir1 writes on Watch As Teenager, Elizabeth Smart Owns Jerk, Nancy Grace

“Wow, that’s incredible. I didn’t realize that for some, having empathy for a victim of crime depended on how hard the victim tried to get away.”

kashmiri – I repeat this all time, Elvis Costello’s line, “It’s nobodies fault, but we need somebody to burn”. I’ve never heard it said better. I would add that we (the collective) also need someone to judge. We need to be better than someone.

Take Elizabeth Smart. That commenter suggested a 6 year old could have done better. Since we can assume the writer is at least 15, we can just imagine how wonderfully she would deal with being kidnapped from her bed in the middle of the night. She’d be a rock star, I guess.

And what about Britney Spears? People all around the world look at her life and say, “If I was Britney, I’d do this. If I was Britney, I’d do that…”

They’d be doing great that’s for sure. They would have perfect execution of all things as if they have the slightest clue what it is like to try to cope with this girl’s life. “Oh, well she’s rich!” they say. As if that has anything to do with it!

And they won’t leave her alone. They put her picture up on a daily basis so the collective can judge her and feel better about themselves… hmm. If you really felt good about yourself, you’d leave Britney Spears alone. If you had a compassionate bone in your body, I think you’d feel compassion for Britney Spears.

And then there is me and the people like me. People bad things happen to, that is. We must deserve it, right? We must have earned it. If you can’t find evidence or bad deeds in this life, it must be because of our last life, yeah, that’s why!

You can see how with this train of thought, there’s no need to have empathy or compassion for my kind. After all we deserve it! We’ve brought it upon ourselves and not only that… we probably like it (on some level).

::rolls eyes:: Nothing quite as fabulous as being raped.

Bottom line, we are dark so others can be light. But don’t mistake me. There is no victim here. There are advantages to being the dark. For one thing, if I am standing in the shadow, you are the one who is illuminated so think about that.

They say Scorpio can see people naked and guess what? This is how. Make no mistake. When you project your shadow, people can see you and it is anything but subtle.

20 thoughts on “What Happens When You Project Your Shadow”

  1. My motto would be: don’t jugde unless you’ve been there. It’s not just compassion that people lack, they lack a little sense!

    Sometimes I wonder if Humankind hasn’t evolved enough to know these basic truths – that everyone has a reality of their own, that we shouldn’t jugde people because we never fully understand their reality…-but then I realize, this is only a basic truth to me and a bunch of others! Some people don’t seem to have inherited the experience of mankind with them, they were truly born yesterday and these truths are still a question mark for them.

  2. Somewhere along the line I decided that bad things happening in my life were because there were things I needed to learn, and those bad things were just the best/most efficient/easiest way for me to learn those lessons.

    I keep hoping Britney will come to her senses, spend a month or two in rehab, then take a year or two off – get out of the spotlight and spend some time just being a mom. I don’t think it’s going to happen, but I’m hoping.

  3. I’m really glad you keep writing about this, it’s very enlightening.
    And it’s something I feel the need to be informed about, so I guess what follows is that I should be grateful for the people with a lack of compassion..? Or something. Just recognize they are playing their part.
    know it intellectually, but the bulk of my being says: “No freaking WAY!”

    On a different note, talk of the shadow, for me, is popping up all over. I’ve been reading ‘Exploring Consciousness in the Horoscope’ and Ed Steinbrecher wrote:
    ‘Our shadows are always attempting to balance our lives anyway. How much better if we get to know them and learn to cooperate in the balancing.”

    Is this along the lines of what you’re saying, as well?

  4. I think the difference between Elizabeth and Britney is Elizabeth WAS a victim of someone else’s horrible actions. Britney Spears is no victim, she has no one to blame but herself for her own messed up life and the poor choices she has made.

  5. I don’t see the difference in between mocking Britney Spears and throwing mud on a mother as she walks into the Children’s hospital to see her sick child. It’s so very simple. You don’t kick people when they’re down and anyone who has ever been down, understands this.

    It not as if I expect people to run out and save everyone, but a neutral position would be nice.

    One step up from that would be an understanding that it is because someone else is suffering, you are not… in other words an appreciation.

    For example, the press is dogging Britney, so who is being spared, hmm? Who is the camera NOT trained on? Might they give Britney a call?

    “Sorry, hon. It’s you and not me and if it wasn’t you, it could be me…”

  6. Ok … I’m kind of getting at what’s meant Elsa with the last comment about Britney Spears. I DON’T relate to wanting to emote for (some people imagine with) Elizabeth Smart, turning her into a perma-victim. She herself said it was something that happened and she moved on. It’s everyone else who loves labels who will identify her with this happening forever and ever and ever. A monster of energy comes up out of this seed of happening and it isn’t connected to Elizabeth Smart, but the general population would like it to be.

    The above comment really reveals the shadow thinking for me though. ‘Somebody must suffer!’ It’s obvious to me Britney Spears is suffering and I guess people think it’s a ruse, an act, because she’s also a public figure. I don’t understand why more people can’t have the reaction of ‘oh, suffering .. that’s too bad’ and leave it at that. People can have demons – they are all internal – the demon hasn’t been externalized and come at them as the boogeyman – and yes it looks mysterious to you, however that’s their life. Who are you to decide because it doesn’t look that way to you that the weight being carried isn’t enough to create suffering?

  7. What they have in common is they carry the shadow for the collective which is what this series is about. I don’t really care why… how it came about. It just is.

    And I disagree the harsh judgment of Britney. I’d shave my head too, in her circumstance. She’s been making people big bucks since she was a little girl. She’s grown up in a bubble… how the hell is she supposed to parse her experience in this short of time, under these type conditions? Spotlight on you at all times.

    You have every inch of fact you ever grow broadcast on the front of newspapers around the world… see how you realllllllly deal.

    Bottom line, the girl (and to me, she is a girl… she is a baby) is suffering. She is obviously, OBVIOUSLY burning alive and to me there is no justification of any kind for fueling that fire.

    Do you know how much money has been made off this girl? What did she get out it reeeeeally? It is a lot of work to learn to dance. It takes balls to get on stage. Travel… all that. being an entertainer is demanding and at her level… it is all consuming. Further, you are surrounded by sycophants and have idea what you’re doing. Your life is managed and your development thwarted.

    I’m sorry. I made a lot of mistakes when I was her age. I made a COPIOUS number of mistakes and had people been making their careers off peddling my misery well… I am not arrogant enough to believe I would have been able to handle it any better than she has.

    But the real point is this: Her life is extraordinary. It is one of a kind. And you can judge her decisions as faulty from your catbird seat but what I think is faulty is the assumption you (anyone / not a specific person) would make better decisions if you had lived her life, rather than yours. It is just impossible to know this.

  8. I guess I’m going to agree to disagree with you about Britney. I see a huge difference between someone who has made bad descions over and over again, versus someone who had nothing to do with what has happened to them. I’m all about tough love, though. It’s not that I don’t feel bad for her at all, it’s just that I think any kind of attention the public gives her at this point is bad. Like a child acting out for attention. True, I don’t know what it’s like being her. I suspect her brain chemsitry is totally different from mine. But I think it’s unfair to compare Elizabeth Smart who was kidnapped out of her bed, to someone who continually chooses to do dumb things.

  9. Dear Elsa,

    I read your blog regularly and enjoy the insights and info you provide. While I have lots of respect for you, there is a little inconsistancy that my 9th house Pluto in Libra needs to point out.

    How is it that you can say for us to have compassion for Britney Spears when you yourself don’t have compassion for an individual who wrote you two times for advice in a simillar situation. And I remember seeing the emails, the emails that you wrote, that said that other readers wouldn’t be able to relate to her situation.

    It’s funny you mention Scorpio’s shadow because the whole point of Scorpio is expose every fault of someone so that person can tranform themselves. “The Bug’s” very theme is “change or die!” Sometimes, I think Scorpio’s theme is more like the Terminator quote, “Come with me if you want to live!”

    I’m not trying to start problems. I say these things to you because [as a fan] I care. The only differences between that person and Britney is the fact that the girl who asked for help is not famous and isn’t white. You really can’t say “Have compassion for Britney” and then turn around and ignore your fellow man’s plea for help. That’s what thousands, if not millions, of Americans do to their fellow citizens every year. I guess that’s why our country is such a mess. Sadly, Britney is just a reflection of our callous culture.

    The best I could do for her is give her advice I keep passing on to those who are like her: “Treat this opportunity as a new beginning. If you really wish to stay in Hollywood, invest your money in an education so you can get a job with more power and prestige. Reinvent yourself, just like Madonna did.Do not, and I really mean DO NOT, give up!” I admit the advice sound dumb, but it’s the best way I can word it. I’ve lost everything before, just like her. Okay, maybe she hasn’t lost her material possessions, but she is spiritually, mentally and emotionally bankrupt. The best I could do is relay what I’ve learned in my travels. But the main thing is I didn’t sit by and just watch her burn like everyone else.

    From one astrologer to another: Remember this — True compassion is doing something for your fellow man.


  10. i’d never want to be famous like that. i cherish my privacy.
    you can’t buy happiness, after all.

    yes, when shadow’s thrown at you, it’s obvious. though sometimes deeply confusing at first, if you confuse the shadow for an accurate reflection/response to who you actually are.

    the first thing i thought when i saw those pictures after she shaved her head was “she must be going through hell.”
    it’s a common response actually. to self hatred. in people i’ve known. i don’t know what made it a feeding frenzy except that people need to devour other people’s BS in order to ignore their own. i guess?

  11. Personally I think Britneys biggest problem is that shes just young. She will grow and mature in time, and probably make a lot of mistakes before that happens.

  12. t-carat – Nancy Grace is classic Scorpio in that she wished to use Elizabeth Smart’s energy and attempted to manipulate her to this end.

    I said she should know better because she IS a Scorpio and also a crime victim… her fiance was murdered. And I used to be a major fan of hers right up until the time she sold her soul for ratings.

  13. This may or may not be the right shadow thread but what got my attention is what came up in this blog: not just E. Smart but Nancy Grace and then the criticiser were also Plutonic. All Scorpio / Plutonic, three sides (perhaps more out there) of the same coin, same energy. There isn’t an innocent truly-shadow-free victim we just happen to be projecting on to, imo, because these people could probably interchange roles…It’s the energy of the situation drawing the Plutonic to it.

  14. Boy – everyone is talking about Scorpios!

    From her look I’m guessing she has Libra as well – the large round eyes and mannerisms like Barbara Walters (a Libran), my Scorpio mother has a Libra ascendant and looks like her as well.

  15. The most overwhelming feeling I have towards Elizabeth Smart is sympathy (and I’m sure that sounds like BS now but it’s true).

    She went through hell and if it had been me and I’d been on that show I would have probably starting crying like a baby when Nancy Grace brought it up, feeling not only furious with her but unbelievably sorry for myself. Ok.

    But does it make me a terrible person to also see where Jess was coming from with the “stop trying to glorify her” comment? We’re pissed off at Grace for condescending to Smart—who is obviously incredibly strong and resilient in many ways, it’s true. But it’s also true that there were many times when she could have just simply walked away from her abductors or yelled out or done -something- to draw attention to herself. If she’d just pulled off her disguise once in public it likely would have been enough (or maybe she didn’t realize there would be a huge search going on for her and everyone was looking?) Maybe she was told that her family would be murdered if she did, I don’t know. Maybe she was brainwashed.

    I know it’s much more complicated than “she could have” “she should have,” that’s why I don’t look at it that way.

    And I KNOW I shouldn’t have said a damn thing about this since I’m not well enough read on it, for one, and much more importantly I am not Elizabeth Smart and I wasn’t kidnapped from my bedroom as a 14 year old child.

    Maybe I’m really a judgmental, cruel, heartless bitch, and just like to pretend I’m not one I don’t know. Seriously.

  16. “But does it make me a terrible person to also see where Jess was coming from with the “stop trying to glorify her” comment?”

    Blaming the victim is never OK. Never. I find it interesting to contemplate the motives of those who would do so.

    Nancy Grace might have Sun in Libra if she was born before about 5:30pm. Can’t find a birthtime.

  17. Kadiya,
    ”How is it that you can say for us to have compassion for Britney Spears when you yourself don’t have compassion for an individual who wrote you two times for advice in a simillar situation.”

    How could you judge someone like that ??
    Since you are familiar to this blog, you should know by now that she is not getting only 1 email per day! She is helping people everyday! She is trying to keep up with everything AND she has her personal life!
    Does this make her NOT compassionate ?”

    I am sorry but it was really selfish of you to critisice like this!

    I just dont understand this! ! People in general..they just like to find fault in everything! Everyone is blaming each other! Its ecxactlly like kids … pointing fingers : It’s your fault,it was him, i am better..etc

  18. Marianna’s comment reminded me of, Kadiya’s comment which I think I addressed back then but in case, I will address it now, I have spent my life serving my fellow man and if I did anymore I think I would be dead.

    Is 16 hours a day enough for ya?

  19. You know Elsa, after reading all these comments what came in to my head was ‘Why don’t people just mind their own business?’ And then I realised the answer to the question that’s been haunting me for ages, ‘What exactly is projection?’ It’s just this, we can’t bear to face and deal with our own business so we watch and judge everyone elses. Compassion, folks please…there but for the grace of God go we all.

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