Flattery is generally the first step towards gaining control of another person. “Hey, pretty lady!” It’s opens you up to a certain degree, almost instantly.
I have Venus in Leo and a lot of people use this on technique on me. So much so, I made a video in 2007: Leo & Flattery: Real Gold vs Fool’s Gold.
It doesn’t work on me, perhaps because I have Uranus in Leo as well. Flatter me and I want to put as much space between you and I as humanly possible.
Allowing yourself to be flattered is risky as it can easily make you think you’re some kind of demigod. It can also be addicting. If you’re routinely pumped up, you’re going to be looking to be pumped up, which sounds like “narcissistic supply”.
Internet business has exploited this human tendency very successfully. Legions of people perform for likes and retweets; which the platforms can give or take away. Everyone is looking for that VIRAL creation that puts them on the map.
I learned about this when I first started blogging in 2001. That’s me in my xanga pic, with an “eprop” background. This was pre-facebook. Today’s eprops are “likes” and/or thumbs up. This was before Reddit as well. The original “internet points”.
If your heads swells, you become vulnerable to predators of all kinds. Think of celebrities who are ripped off by their managers or accountants. It’s pretty easy to fill you with bs which transforms you into a happy, contented, robbery victim.
Most feel that there is an ongoing brainwashing operation underway, though they may bicker over who’s affected by it. I am certain that everyone is affected by it so no arguments here! If you’re ever to be unaffected by it, you have to realize it’s happened.
The internet will give you whatever you like. If you like dogs, you’ll see dogs everywhere. If you like certain personalities, these personalities multiply. The new similar personalities will likely be bots or their equivalent, but you won’t notice because of your happy contentment. You see right there, you’re half gone and it took thirty seconds.
The constant reinforcement may be one of the reasons people have become so intolerant. Your bias is confirmed hundreds of times a day. Assuming a different opinion happens to reach you, you’re very likely to brush it away like a piece of lint.
The odds you see an opinion contrary to your own has been reducing over time. If this trend continues, the day will come when you can’t find an opposing opinion anywhere. This could be because you’re entirely kept in an internet “cubby”, but it could also be because there is only one narrative allowed.
I am going to continue to try to maintain this site where people can intersect with people they don’t have much in common with. It’s just very hard to learn anything new if you don’t talk to people who aren’t you.
Here’s an eight second long video, I associate with flattering behavior.
Are you susceptible to flattery? Have you ever been victimized by a a flatterer?
Just heard about an elderly widow who was ripped off for $90,000 by a smooth operator — a FLATTERING con man. She has embarked upon a national campaign to educate other vulnerable, naive folks who are such easy prey on the internet.
Oh that flattery worked for my mother! “You scrub the kitchen floor so well, I’m going to LET You Do it every week from now on!”
She passed away in 2005, but my sister and I still laugh about that “transparent trick!”
Far too many women in my family said that their husband treated them really nice til they got married, then they dropped the front, some really awfully. A lot of intergenerational trauma ensues. Hollow words won/subdued a lot of those who thought the kindness to be sincere. That’s the hard part- realising it’s just cheap words. All comes down to shame. And notice the words-it was treated *them* nice; not about him actually being a nice, or a good person to begin with.
This totally sounds related to the Sedna myth story – think she moved from 29 taurus to 0 deg gemini this month – stuff I’ve read also links her to being similar to pluto re transformation once ‘woken up’ to the dark stuff … guess an element of seeing what lies beneath when it comes to ‘flattery’.
if you mean by being dragged to owning their power and not look to others? Nah, they all stayed clinging to the dinghy with their nubs. Some became monsters in their own right; waving those damned nubs around like jazz hands. To be fair, Sedna gets my goat, so I’m a wee bit biased there – lol just checked, natal 0deg taurus sitting beside aries ascendant, ha! no wonder! But she does give a kick up the bum, can’t take it personally I suppose.
ah yeah I looked again, Sedna sandwich! also Saturn at 2deg Taurus. I’m now thinking I resemble this far more than I care to admit.
“Nah, they all stayed clinging to the dinghy with their nubs. Some became monsters in their own right; waving those damned nubs around like jazz hands” made me laugh out loud! … ascendant – sedna – saturn sandwich?! my brain can’t even begin to digest that! you got it, no nubs, dive deep lol!!
Upon reflection;
Everyone wants to be told/sold a tale, and especially of ourselves, whether directly or relating. It’s the calibre that counts. I would see this flattery as the anti version of the Cheerleader, which you’ve posted about before. although in reality we all a mish mash of these aspects, percentages differ greatly!
There’s another name for this- CHARM. If you ever read “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin de Becker CHARM is often employed by people who commit horrible crimes as a guise to take their potential victim’s wariness away.
Thanks. I wrote about that book when it came out and recommend it to this day.
I do not fall prey to flattery. Maybe due to my low self-esteem, perhaps it’s my Scorpio Rising, and Pluto heavy chart. I have used flattery to curry favor in the past. I just have to say, Elsa you look so pretty and cheerful in that photo with the yellow backdrop. This isn’t flattery, I simply find the pic esthetically appealing.
yes,i agree, her light is shining always ^^
Thank you, both!
Keeping it real online since 2001 (so pretty much the birth of the internet!)😁 …heard an intuitive (Lee Harris) say that praise/ adulation is like a sugar rush- not nutritional but connection is where the good stuff is (paraphrasing,can’t remember the exact words) …thought it was bang on!
I got in the internet in 1995; the first site I visited was alt.astrology. I got the url from a hard copy of Mountain Astrologer, which I was subbed to.
I started writing about astrology, immediately and eventually found astrology mailing lists which were booming at the time. I was all over them, but everyone used aliases at the time. I did not attach my name until 2005, but I did distinguish myself by getting kicked off several list; most notably, “Plutonians”, lol.
My crime was being too intense. Pluto was squaring my sun at the time, so there’s that. In whatever case, I’ve been writing about astrology, somewhere, daily, for 28 years!!!
I find flattery and especially excessive compliments somehow threatening… It makes me want to avoid such person. Makes me very unfomfortable and think the person is jealous. I have nothing in leo… I’ve been reflecting for years on this, wondering where it comrs from in me.
lol re your plutonian crime!! glad you appropriately stood your ground during Pluto square sun transit! (LO has this atm & although they hate astro & know my advice is astro sourced, we are in agreementabout this & they are doing exactly that :0) … still got your pluto 12thH bookmarked to read …I think I think of it as a book sitting on the shelf that I’m trying to find a decent spot of time for! thank you for the “substance” Elsa … think I found this blog googling for “info” to my astro questions, not floating around some network that involves ‘likes’!!
if the flattery comes from my long time friends (they dont tell me outright like strangers do) but they do it in, whispering to the others who are also my two decade long friends, “wow she doesn’t have any wrinkles and she doesn’t even use makeup or any lotion or anything” (to me i consider that a compliment) and my other long time friend would say, to our middle aged friends; we are all middle aged 😀 “it’s because she has a husband who loves and takes care of her.” LOL ok thats a compliment. but i do stress when i’m here with my elderly parents and full time working and exhausted everyday.
as per strangers, even some are really trustworthy. such as my long time hired cleaner for my parents home, last week, she’s here cleaning and i help her sometimes, give her some of my old stuff from the hoarding pile downstairs. She tells me, “you dont wear makeup or anything? you’re so beautiful.” it was uncomfortable but i’m not wary of her. I try to see what the person is looking to gain from me that they would flatter me. (ok she gets some of my old stuff which are expensive but i dont care about them; plus she deserves it) I think personally if i were to be controlling i’d stress out alot. Always making sure everything is to my control. that would be so stressful and even when i think of it, i stress.
also i believe if you do good things for people, and are helpful, they see you as a lovely being. I do the same for others when i see them as beautiful because they do lovely things for others. so there’s nothing malicious or something to gain. its usually for an exchange of equal love for each other.
Speaking of the internet giving us whatever we like: I have to admit confusion. Like reality has been curated for all of us (to the degree we allow it, which is usually a lot). I’ve been sucked into stuff and I’m drowning in it before I realize it. Come up for air, I am changed. For the better? Who can I talk to about this? What would talking about it achieve? What should I do instead?
So talking to others, I don’t know, it’s like talking half to the memes they saw that day. I’m not sure of authenticity, including my own. I hate it.
Add in things online are integrated into our psyches from our echo chambers, but being polite we don’t talk about the divisive stuff, or if someone does, we change the subject, or just agree for peace. I see it a lot. And then go back to the superficial. So the growing from different opinions can’t necessarily happen, we’re burnt out from it, and are these opinions even valid? Or are they just curated from the uncountable realities we’ve been given? What do we even really know for a fact? That’s how far gone it all feels to me.
I haven’t had regular “deep conversations” in years where I used to ALL THE TIME. I love deep conversations. But life is just so weird now. I’m kind of checking out to a degree due to my recent Pluto transit – it’s all spiritual to me now. So I’m a weirdo and can’t quite connect to others anyway, if that makes sense.
Not susceptible to flattery/charm – it makes my skin crawl. No Leo or Libra placements but plenty of Scorpio. I’m too suspicious as in ‘what do you want?’. Prefer people to be just real, without putting on a front or being ‘nice’. I will accept a compliment (still with some reluctance, at times) if I know the person well, i.e. trust them.