Dear Elsa,
I am a Capricorn, engaged to a Capricorn. We constantly have issues regarding sex drive. I have a much higher drive than he does. When we have sex, it is awesome and totally fulfilling. But it is just on his terms usually and infrequent. He is always complaining of being tired or just seems to have to be the one initiating sexual contact – or else he is not as interested.
It is so hurtful for me to lay there night after night and feel rejection by this man who says I am the love of his life. He is great at excuses and he throws in the occasional curve ball. Tonight I actually left the bedroom to sleep in the guest room out of frustration; I am very hurt and upset and found your website. Please give me some insight.
Rejected Capricorn
Dear Capricorn,
I really think you need to resolve this before you marry. And I hate to say this to a woman who wants to be happily engaged, but the fact is a gulf like this tends to widen over time, not otherwise.
Now you may go for a while shut down to whatever extent, but eventually you are going to go insane with the pent up energy, effectively turning yourself into a shrew! And how’s that sound? Not so good, I bet. So I have to advise you get this out in the open. Don’t tuck it away. Instead, make it bigger.
Tell your man this is a serious issue for you, one the two of you are going to have to address. From there, look for a compromise and see if you can come to one. But if he starts with the excuses and refuses to look at this, I would be very leery of marrying him and I’ll quote another Capricorn on this… an old man I met when I was 19.
“If there are rocks in the marriage, they’re in the bed.”
Get it? If you have problems in the bedroom, you have problems. Sorry. 🙁
Good luck.
when I was engaged there were nights I cried myself to sleep when he didn’t want sex. I remember how bad that felt and I felt guilty for feeling that way. I got used to his level of need for intimacy and thought it was okay, but it wasn’t. it changed something essential about me… and gee, he started thinking he wasn’t quite as into me. it was a slippery slope thing. now we’re divorced.
There are so many weird manipulations around sex. And as we all know, men are pretty good at it. I remember one friend told me her boyfriend would only have sex with her when he felt strong LOVE for her. Like, romantic love. He wouldn’t just fuck her for fun. Can you imagine how that double whammy worked on her? I always wanted to spit on the guy after hearing that.
Anyway, it’s the weird manipulations that get me so irate— all that unclarity….ah me oh my….
I am interested in a capricorn man at work, I see him looking at me and smiles at me alot. He always says hello and good morning to me. He has made some conversation with me. But people there are always gossiping, especially that he is a manager and his employees at work tell me that I should just kiss him because they say that he is always mad and uptight and that he needs to loosen up. Yeah right, I am not going to do that because I am interested in him and I would never do that because I think he should do the first move and anyways I am a virgo.